Allow me to jump in because I have had a great deal of experience with this scenario. I’m a grandmother, a beautiful grandmother and I’m totally head over hills for the man I’m dating. We live in separate states which at first caused great concern. I even broke it off completely. I sensed that the issue was mine – not his – so I jumped right in with both feet to find out what was the “deeper” issue. Come to find out, I had an issue from childhood – anxious attachment – which stems from my mother (I won’t go into all the details here). Needless to say, I had never dealt with this anxious attachment (Google it), and it was surfacing from his pulling away. Once God healed me of this syndrome, I have never had any problem with his, what we call, pulling away. I need my space – he needs his space. I’m so glad this was resolved. Six months later, he sent me a text and we are back together again – probably forever! But, if not, I can move on and wish him the best!
#1 Be fun and easy going. Guys are much less complicated than women, that much is for certain. They like things to be easy going and relaxed. Which means they don’t really want to commit to someone who’s going to add stress to their life. So be easy going and keep things light and fun. He’ll be much more willing to commit. [Read: 10 ways to prove that you’re girlfriend material]
“You know, I have thought that by this age I would have been in good job and a steady relationship. I have neither so I’m considering moving to X city. I got a job offer from there and I’ve been considering taking it or not for a while. I mean, one out of two isn’t bad. It’s not like either a job or a relationship is holding me back in this city.....”
Men who are emotionally unavailable can end up pulling away from their partner and growing distant because they are unwilling or unable to be totally forthright and honest. If your man never lets his guard down around you and never wants to divulge anything personal, he's going to shut you out because that's how he handles personal relationships.  
You can tell if you’re lacking empathy when you hear responses from your partner like:  “You’re always trying to fix things,“ or “I just want you to listen,” or “You just don’t understand.” Non-empathic behaviors make her feel like she’s alone, that you don’t understand her, or that she can’t rely on you to help her overcome issues. On the other hand, conveying true empathy makes her feel as if the two of you are in this together. You’re a unit, a team, and you can work through challenges together.
I havent talked to him since then and this happened saturday im so hurt and I cant stop crying. He told me give him a week before we start talking again. (How do I deal with this???)I dont know what to do I can’t stop thinking about him and I keep checking my phone for him to text me. Does he miss me? He told me hes there for me but how can I talk to him if its about us he knows how I feel and he still left in hurt so much its killing me I havent been able to eat or sleep properly…. I don’t wanna wait but I know I have to I cant get him out of my mind. His close friend told me we were around each other to much and said we just need time apart. Everyone I talk to tells me give him space he misses me and thinks we will get back together. Its so hard from one point seeing him every day talking every day to nothing at all. I want him back so bad. It hurts so much and I don’t know what to do all I can do is give him time and wait for him to talk to me again…. Please any advise or what you think will help me.
Leave him alone. I’ve been there believe me. It hurts and sometimes you can’t help yourself but you need to let go. You deserve a man that wants to be with you. Don’t force it. Do things that make you happy. Something new. Run a marathon, take a self defence course or do something you always wanted to do. You will find a perfectly good man that loves and wants to be with you when you least expect it.
So Eric I’ve been talking to this guy almost 2 years. He says he likes me a lot but does not know what he wants we not in a relationship he enjoys my company a lot I like him too but need more.I think he’s confused some times it feels like he wants to and then next time he pulls away say he been hurt so much he’s not ready .Do u think it’s an excuse or what .I know he seeing other people but denies it .Please give me your opinion
Men are always more attracted to women who seem successful, independent (in career and in personal interests) and who are “busier” than average. This immediately shows a man you can handle yourself and your own issues, and you don’t “need” him to save you. The fact that you’re busy all the time shows high value – he really has to try to get your attention!
Love is not a game and unless you don’t want to be in a relationship anymore, don’t play games with him. He hasn’t done anything specifically wrong and you shouldn’t punish him for not saying he misses you. Being in love with someone and missing them doesn’t mean you should play with their mind. If he sees you’re living your life and having fun, he will soon want to express his feelings a little more. Remember it’s not easy for guys to understand what us women are thinking. If you go about something in the wrong way it can often be perceived differently to how you want it too.

When it comes to rekindling the romance with your ex, you have to make him miss you. He should be constantly dreaming about you, every song he hears reminds him of you, he should be thinking about you at all hours of the day, wondering what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with, and most of all, he should be begging you to get back together. Keep reading to see our 15 proven tricks that will make your ex miss you. Put these tips in motion to get your ex back in your arms once and for all!
This is one of the main differences between men and women when it comes to relationships. Men are more in the moment and are able to comfortably enjoy a situation for what it is as it is. Women are always looking for ways to improve the relationship and push it forward. It’s not that one gender has it right and the other has it wrong. There needs to be a balance between enjoying the present and comfortably laying the foundation for a future. It just can’t be done forcefully.
My ex broke up with me beacuse of silly reasons because she was afraid that I might hurt her in the future(she’s very sensitive). I tried many things to get her back and she always said no which made me frustrated. Therefore I said to her that I don’t want to watch your face anymore. We haven’t talked since then. But sometimes she looks at me when I’m not looking and I can tell she still loves me. Is there any way that we can get back together.
Let the royals care about titles. One of the biggest mistakes you can make during the early hook is to suggest or even hint that things have started to formalize by assigning the labels “girlfriend” and “boyfriend.” Even if you feel like things are going in the right direction and that your relationship is getting more serious, there’s an extremely wide gulf between just being someone you’re dating and someone who has been officially proclaimed a boyfriend. What your man wants you to know but won’t tell you is that affixing titles to the relationship too early is like holding up a cross to a vampire. We will often run fast and hard when we feel like we’re being boxed into something we don’t want or is too premature.
my story: met a lousy guy on tinder who promised to pick the stars from the sky for me, we had a few dates and i have to advise all the women out there to be careful especially with guys who get affectionate,caring, and future-planning too soon because it’s a cheap hoax to get the woman into having sex and then dumping her cold-turkey.if they realise the woman won’t have sex with them(like me)they run off and find other ‘candidates’ to lie to.my guy ‘friend-zoned’me to keep me hanging on because he thought that maybe he could one day drag me into the sheets but i ended the whole thing on that creepy liar.additionally i caught him with a few other girls so please ladies:pay attention

Lets Chat Love is the only place to have genuine girl chat about men, boys and other adults that you may be interested in. Do you find yourself being frustrated by men or girls (assuming you’re bisexual)? Do you want a place to actively go to, to speak to other women about your relationship problems that you’re having? Well, girl, you’re at the right place. We understand the frustrations that women go through from time-to-time and their bodies and hormones different to those of men. Male and female users tend to share the same relationship problems and issues, but when it comes to discussing and evaluating a problem from a women's vertical, the advice require can sometimes be different to those of men - that’s why it’s important that we have a separate relationship advice for women forum rather than a generic relationship advice board.
My boyfriend moved out 2 days ago and told me he was gioinh to break up with me, er takker a lot and devisen not to break up but he needed space. So noe he is at his mother’s house. I did the wrong thing by getting panicky, calling him and texting him.. he told me that i had to stop in order for him to relax and Get HIS space. I found this so hard and i’ve been crying non-stop for 2 and a half day. I got drunk the other night and cried in the phone to him. I don’t know how to get thru this and i feel like dying.. today i tried to give him a bit more space. He sounds so cold in the txt like we don’t know eachother. And my heart is literally breaking and my eyes are so swollen that it hurts. Anyone else expirenced something like this but still got together? He won’t even sau how long he needs space. And it frels more like he’s trying to forget the relationship.
So me and this guy used to talk a lot face to face and then he asked for number one day and we texted all the time and spoke face to face but then after a year we no longer spoke face to face just cuz when we would act lovey dovey on text I started to freak out thinking it would be awkward face to face so yh that stopped but we still texted then I started liking him then ended up telllingg him n he said he liked me back but then his friend told me he was lying so I find out he was pretending cuz he felt bad even tho I said if. U don’t like me it’s okay.But yh we had a massively argument and didn’t speak for six weeks but I still liked him so being stupid I went running back and we have been talking ever since but now we have tiny arguments over silly stuff n he lied to me for the first time don’t get me wrong we still have a good time but I don’t know sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time cuz I put effort it like I always text first n when I told him that he said it’s because he doesn’t kno when to and I’m like does it look like I know when ur available? No but I still text u. He also has this bff of his a girl who I get his close with but the pics they post together are couple-y. And Ik me and him ain’t together but I need advice, do I stop talking to him or what?

My ex and I have lived together for a little over 2 years and he said he wasn’t happy anymore and asked me to move out. After I moved most of my things out I still have some things to get and he knows this but hasn’t yet mentioned bringing them to me because I wud need help dye to thd me naryrs of what it is to move….that b n said…since I’ve been gone he has come to c me once and has texted to me that “its different” and a sad penitence face and texted me for other nights since skipping two nights between two of the texts…my questions is…does he miss me and regret asking me to leave or did he get cold feet from our relationship we had since I have never mentioned marriage to him at all…was he himself getting serious and thinking of that on his own?…
One quick way to push a man away is by pressuring him- especially when it comes to tying the knot. If you keep mentioning marriage to him and he doesn’t bite or he’s made it very clear he’s not ready for marriage but you keep pressing the issue, you will certainly push him further and further away. Men don’t want to be pressured about marriage (or kids for that matter). They are the man. They want to be in charge. When they are ready to make a commitment like that, trust me- they will let you know. Until then, don’t pressure him into doing anything he clearly doesn’t want to do. You wouldn’t want HIM to treat YOU like that, right? So don’t do it to him. If you’re unsure about where he stands on the topic of marriage, try bringing it up in a light and conversational way. If he seems intrigued, feel free to mention it every now and then. However, if he completely changes the subject or seems totally disinterested, I suggest cutting that conversation completely.
He got mad over something stupid and he broke the car window. And blamed me and ever since it’s been messed up he says he never wNts to be w me and he told someone that he feels like he wants to shoot himself aNd that I am controlling I don’t mean to come off like that he has sat and sun off thats a ll the time for my kid and I to spend time w him. What do I do he tells my kid their is nothing to do about it plz I can’t loose him
It is no secret that the 21st century woman still loves the quality of chivalry in a man. But you will surprise him if you make the move and ask him out on a date for a change. This could go either way – He could feel relaxed and happy giving you the reigns of planning your romantic rendezvous, or he could feel weirdly surprised watching you take charge. Either way, you will grab his attention. Book the tables, drive him there, drop him home and look into his eyes as you say I Love You and kiss him goodnight – Do whatever it takes to show him that you can wear the pants too.
Hello Adam. Thanks for offering such an exciting post and video. You’ve HIT the nail on the head! From my experience, yes, men totally enjoy their SPACE and we should make sure they get it. Respect his space and have him respect yours. Confident women with a touch of mystery and charm will most likely excite men to pursue and return again and again. I enjoy spontaneity and time spent exclusively enjoying my own range of soothing pleasures. First enjoy loving yourself – having a massage, facial, pedicure, and or just spending time at favorite events with other special friends and family. SPACE can make the relationship exciting!

Guys are going to naturally cycle between wanting intimacy and wanting independence. Trying to guess the reason is impossible – some guys want space to reflect on the relationship, some (insecure) guys want space because their friends make fun of them for being “too whipped”, some guys want space because they need time alone to clear their heads and gain clarity in life.
Answer: You can’t make someone be at the same place as you. The only thing you can do is give him the space he needs to figure out if he wants to join you or move on. Let him go and figure things out, and if he is ready to move forward with you, he’ll let you know. Pushing him is only going to drive him farther away and will make him think you aren’t the one. [Read: The 10 best kept secrets to making a man commit to you]

Commitment problems can come from a wide range of places. Perhaps they had a relationship that was horrible and their ex cheated on them. This would obviously make them hesitant to commit to someone else. They may also have parent issues that explain their commitment issues. First, you need to figure out why they are that way so you can tailor your behavior to make them want to commit. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but has commitment issues]
Right now I am dealing with this myself. My boyfriend has, admittedly, got a lot going on right now. He said he’s not going to be able to get together for several days. I was irritated and unfortunately I let myself get angry with him. But now I’ve cooled down and I am sticking to my guns and NOT contacting him. I did send him a good morning text because I always do that, and he responded, but that’s it. I plan to be unavailable tonight if he calls me. I made plans to get together with a friend tomorrow night. I am going to give him MORE space than he wants…

Knowing he can coexist with his girlfriend is the key to answering how to make him want to commit. The weekend will also show that spending time with you alone isn’t something he should be afraid of. At the end of the weekend he’ll be happy as he had great time, and when he comes back to the hustle and bustle of the city, he will definitely miss that weekend.
One such expert is James Bauer, an experienced dating and relationship coach. Not only does he know exactly why men do this, but as a result of so many of his female clients coming to him with this very problem, he has also developed a very effective solution that he has taught to hundreds of women who are now having the relationship success they deserve.
Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.
I am a guy who was recently dumped after a 7 year relationship. I deal with heavy anxiety as it is and this just took it to another level, it lead to me having severe panic attacks as well as constant nausea and vomiting. I know this article is intended for women because of the constant use of male pronouns when referring to the ‘ex’ I’m going to try these steps never the less and do my best. Thank you for taking the time to create such a well thought out article!
After a few months, the calls and texts slowed down, I was still visiting, but not sure where I stood with him,I would text, and his responses weren’t the same as before, I started to think he wasn’t interested anymore, he would sometimes bring up the fact that he is not able to like or love someone on the emotional level, I felt like he was backing off. I just got back 2 days ago and while I was there I asked him if he liked me or had feelings for me, he looked sad but said no he doesn’t have feelings for me and he can’t like anyone because he doesn’t like himself. He would say “just keep being my friend”. I am heart broken over it….
When we first started seeing each other he had just gotten out of his relationship with his ex and I had trust issues that they weren’t really done. I would ask him about it and one time we got in a huge fight about it because I wanted proof that they were over. Now he uses that against me and he doesn’t like me drinking because his dad is an alcoholic. I told him I was going out with a friend gave him which friend location and everything I said I’m not drinking because I’m broke..I posted a Snapchat of two beers and he sees the Snapchat and just flips on me that I lied to him and said I wasn’t drinking but I did. I told him my friend bought the drinks but I’m sorry should have let him know. Anyways the fight turned bigger and he ended things. I told him I want to fix this because it was an honest mistake and he brings up that he’s gone through hoops to prove to me and all this. He said he’ll give it another try but isn’t ready to talk about it & just needs some space. I’m at a point do I give him his space and try to fix this or just move on.
    "'We' is a state of mind and heart. It means that wherever one partner is, the other is present in their thoughts. Partners who consider themselves a 'we' act that way. When you talk to partners who live with and in the heart of their beloved, you experience that commitment in every way they present themselves. They communicate a pride in belonging to their partner. It's a powerful feeling of 'us' over anyone or anything else.
I’ve been seeing a guy for about six months now. Everything in the relationship is great- we get along, we have fun together, we just get each other. The only thing is he won’t commit to me. He said he wasn’t hooking up with anyone else, only me, but he’s not ready to use titles.  I know his last relationship ended badly, so that might be part of it. I just don’t get it, the relationship is so great in every way aside from this.
So often women get caught up with forcing the men in their lives to do what they want they fail to find suitable time to establish of that is what they too really want deep down. Time is spent scheming, evaluating and charting plans of action that they dream will end in a lifelong commitment that they faail to think ahead if they will be truly happy. Having him commit is one asoect of it but what about you? Do you really want the commitment? Is he what you want or are you motivated to have him commit simply because he wasn't a willing candidate. You see like men, women are just as competitive, we sometimes want simply because we cannot have. Look at the relationship and outline why you want him to commit and see if your reasons are justified.
Why men pull away is a mystery to women, especially younger women who are trying to make their man to commit, everything is going perfectly fine, and all of sudden their boyfriend starts acting distant. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you may be having unlimited questions about what the exact reason is why he is acting distant and cold. You may be thinking if you did something wrong. This can make you feel hurt, angry, and confused. There could be various reasons why your boyfriend or husband is acting distant and withdrawing from you. Maybe your boyfriend does not want a long-term relationship with you, or maybe your husband is having issues at his work place and he is trying to find a solution. Maybe none of these reasons are true and there is no spark left in your relationship and it’s time to move on.
Me and my boyfriend were together for about a year and promised each other the world to each other. Our connection was so strong and nothing stopped us from separating for a while especially since our families come from different cultures and religions. As time went by, we started having problems because of the family issue and he came to terms that it is risky to continue the relationship when we are unsure of the future. I have been doing no contact and it has been two weeks. He still had me on social media and everything. I even posted a few pictures of myself and sporting activities which I know he could see. Once I posted something about a concert that was near his place, he saw it and decided to unfollow me. He still has me on facebook, but I have no idea if that’ll last. He hasn’t reached out once to me since I started no contact. I don’t know what I should do.

You know, for once, I might sound like a counselor or a typical veteran, having played the 'Love Mentor' for my friends during high school by shelling out canny advice on making your boyfriend miss you. But there's more I can tell you, from an experience of a debilitated soul, that the key to get him back into your arms is to pull yourself away, for a while, from his. Absence makes the heart go fonder, or so the cliché goes (the cliché sucks, anyway).
Men who do this have an avoidant attachment style. Read ‘Attached’ by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller and ‘avoidant, bad boyfriends’ by Jeb Kinnison. After reading these I realised that I had been unhappily married for over twenty years to an avoidant man who ultimately cheated on me and left me. I’ve since met a man with a secure attachment style and the difference is night and day. DO NOT MARRY a man with an avoidant attachment style you will be miserable.

I really love him. I just want to hear from him. Some of the reasonings we broke up include he felt unappreciated, he wasn’t “getting” happy, he’s bored with the relationship because all we do is sit around, which I immediately told him that’s not fair and I always try to get him to do things and said I know. But a few more reasons he’s told me, he wants to be around someone positive, and I’ll admit I haven’t been in the best shape lately. I lost my job, I’ve been going through family issues, and friend issues. I always am first to tell him everything. I can understand why this is what could push him away. He is a very easy go free kind of guy. He also told me “I’m not what he wants in a girlfriend” of course all these words hurt. I think about everything he’s said and it hurts. Do I believe them? Slightly.

Men who are emotionally unavailable can end up pulling away from their partner and growing distant because they are unwilling or unable to be totally forthright and honest. If your man never lets his guard down around you and never wants to divulge anything personal, he's going to shut you out because that's how he handles personal relationships.  
The problem with making yourself too "available" when he's playing hot and pretending not to notice when he's playing cold is, you've made it clear you're going to be sticking around no matter what. Unfortunately, this means he feels confident continuing this behavior because he knows there won't be any consequences. You will be there when he wants, and he can ignore you when he doesn't.
Step 2) Post a picture of you having a good time. Instead of him getting the comfort of knowing you are depressed without him in your life, show him you are still out and enjoying life without him needing to be in it. As I have mentioned many times in many articles, men are attracted to happy women. Not only that, he will want you more because he is going to be slightly upset at how un-upset you are. This is human instinct. He is going to want you to miss him, which will in turn make him start to miss you. Remember how having fun is part of this phase? Post a good picture of it!
This is by far the best article I’ve ever read in my entire life about relationships and how to understand a man. This article would definitely help my BFF understand this as she is the clingiest, neediest & most insecure person ever & fails relationship after relationship. The only thing she says is: “I’m a good person why I can’t get a good man for myself?”. She praises herself endlessly but, when She finally lands a guy, she’s suffocated them so much that they end up leaving her. And believe it or not, as a friend, that’s really hard to watch when u see your BFF being dumped especially when she asks why… That’s when this article comes in. This article should have her name on it.
Eric I wanted to say thank you! All of your articles remind everyone of what is really important about life and happiness! I realize that it is time to stop chasing ones that don’t want to be chased by me! I know I have a lot to offer but I am excited to say I am not scared to be alone I love my life, my friends! I love this article because it just helps remind me that I don’t want a guy that brings out the crazy if he likes my vibe and we click I am not gonna worry cuz he will want more! If it changes stop worrying or trying because you don’t want to work on something that is onesided! You have opened my eyes to see that if I can’t see my worth and value how can I expect anyone else! So keep writing your honest and inspiring pieces! I am so excited about my future and all the adventures this year could bring! Xoxoxo
One of the reasons he liked the initial date was because he thought you were mysterious. You didn’t talk as much back then. He had to entertain you, he had to work hard to get you to open up to him. The fact remains that men love mystery! They love it when women give them a little and make them work for more. When you volunteer information constantly, men don’t place as much value in that information. When you avoid giving details and keep things as vague as possible it challenges him.
"Throw us a bone. We all know that men often think they know more about something than they really may. It's in our chemical makeup. Sometimes you just have to let us set the tent up wrong when camping or take three hours to change your oilfor a lot of us, it's how we both try to impress you and show you we care. Sometimes you've got to let a guy be a guyeven if we're goofing up." Blake S.
Wow!! All I can say is thank you for writing. You have an awesome way of saying things, straight to the point no BS. This is what people need I tell all my friends about anew mode, lol I even quote some things you say on Facebook. I’ve been married for twelve years and I love reading your articles because it makes me a better person, wife lover!! Thanks again!
Some times I want to take this manly-man, guys-guy & shake him & say what the hell is wrong with you?!! (Many people want to do that for me right now.) but instead, I rush to tell him I love him & smother him with kind words & gushy love stuff. And he pulls away even further. Now, I am reminded of how in the beginning I gave this man his space & his time whenever I sensed he needed it, I had no control over it or him anyway, why fight it & push him farther away? I remember a day when he grabbed, pulled me close, kissed me, & thanked me for understanding & giving him his time. I would give anything for that moment to happen again, because it was real, & genuine. He was really happy at that moment & wanted me to know it.
1. Take care of yourself first. When you meet a guy you feel like you want to spend every waking moment with, it’s an amazing feeling: an amazing feeling that you must counter with putting yourself first! Continue to do the things that make you happy, and make sure you keep dating other guys before you’re in an exclusive relationship. While this can be really difficult, it’s also a great way to remind yourself what it is you’re looking for in a man and that the new amazing guy really isn’t the only fish in the sea. If you’re finding yourself reserving all your free time for one guy, calling him, or breaking plans with friends the second he calls, take a breath. Put yourself first! If you aren’t in a serious, committed relationship with a man, you’re free to do the things you like when you like, for however long you like. That isn’t to say that once you’re in a relationship you stop doing things you like! It’s just that before you get there, be sure not to get too wrapped up in making someone your universe if you aren’t his. Meet his energy. It’s that simple.
I saw a whatsapp pick of a workmate on my guys phone, he said he used it to let someone leave him alone I got a bit jealous and now he for the first time in our relationship got distant and didn’t answer my calls or texts, I decided to leave him alone since he’s very busy with work but I saw him and it seems he’s chasing me down and came up to me, we had a good brief conversation, though short but I can sense he was happy to see me.
High levels of stress can do many things including destroy relationships.  If the stress of commitment is getting to him you may find him pulling away until it clears.  If you chase after him in you could find the result is that you have pushed him clear out of your life.  Give him space and time to think.  Be available but create that mystique that found him seeking you out in the first place. i.e Just be You

My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for the past 15 months. He works out of town all week so we only saw each other every weekend but talked and texted daily. The relationship was good, even talked we both wanted long term and eventually to live together until 3 months ago when he took a new job for his company. The demands of the job and long hours started changing him, which i told him that. He was becoming irritable, pulling away so I started pressing for him to just move in with me and my teen son so it would be easier on all of us. We’ll you guessed it, he finally said I love you with all my heart but I can’t give you what you want. He couldn’t live with me and didn’t think he could deal with the teenage way of life nowadays. Of course I did all the wrong things afterwards trying to convince him why we should work it out since we loved each other so much, even told him I was OK with us not living together, which I am OK with and I shouldn’t have pressured him when he already had enough pressure from the new job. He asked for his freedom even though he says he still loves me. We continue to text some for about a week after this but I still was doing all the wrong thing and my last text was I love you, to which he responded Enjoy your day. I have since stopped all contact and know there is probably no hope of him wanting me back even though I know he really loves me. I’m a strong person and realize life goes on and I’ll be fine but I love him so I’m going to try your steps and see what happens. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Obviously, when you’re in love with someone, you want to spend much time with that person. But to create a feeling to miss you, you need to sometimes not be with him. You don’t always have to give up all your time for him. Your boyfriend is not going to miss you if you’re always available. Find things that you can put into yourself. Create your own space and time away from him. While it is important to spend time together to win his heart, it is equally important to give some space so that he’ll realize how special you are and how much he really misses you.
@ Sam after reading your post I really don’t understand your question because you did say you refuse to be with someone who showed you he doesn’t care about your health if only we women really Focus on men ACTIONS not his words ACTIONS tells us the Truth… I think you really know he doesn’t really care about you and you should treat him the same with the I Don’t Care Attitude and move on.
Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”
OMG…I think we’re in the same exact place. And after reading this article, I think I know exactly what to do. I’ve been so consumed with getting hurt again, that I’ve totally missed the fact that the guy I was previously dating kept wanting to hold on to me, even though he keeps saying he doesn’t want a relatinship. THAT’S A CLEAR TED FLAG FOR ME. I recently broke it off with him because he refused to commit, but the next time, I’ll get it right….THIS ARTICLE IS SO PROFOUND!
3. Forgiveness. The majority of young and middle-age men I have interviewed say that forgiveness is "huge" to them, and that grudges are wedges in their relationships. When these issues arise, they're ready to have the "relationship talk." Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside has written of the importance of the forgiveness factor in relationships.
I’m going through this exact thing. It’s heartbreaking. I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months now. He told me a while ago that he had fallen for me. I told him I felt the same. The last few weeks have been really hard. With either really short texts or no reply at all. He’s been busy with work. I know this is true. I get that he can’t answer every text straight away. I also understand he has a life of his own. We’ve barely said about 5 sentences to each other over the last few days. It’s taken a lot for me to start this relationship. After being single for about 11 years. I don’t want to end up in the exact same place as I was a few months ago.
Similarly, Ive seen my brother go through something similar. He did the exact thing with his current girlfriend, he moved out for a week to retreat after a minor conflict, and she was so upset, leaving presents at the door and calling me to find out if he was ok etc. I had to tell her to stop and give him space. He came around, I didnt pressure him and didnt go into it much. But the up side is that he’s still with her now.

Thanks for your reply. To be clear, I wasn't attacking the entire article, just the particular comment. I think you need to be more careful and critical of what type of evidence you cite. Just because Mr Laumann has credentials doesn't make everything he says true (appeal to authority is a logical fallacy). James Watson (a nobel prize laureate) also said that Africans were less genetically less intelligent. Does that make it true? Scientists are also humans and they can have racist or sexist biases. Mr Laumann is obviously sexist. I mean, is there a study which proves that men leave their wives to die alone in nursing homes? That is inaccurate and doesn't reflect reality. Most of the women that I've met in nursing homes were widows whose husbands had died a few years earlier. Most men value their marriages and wouldn't walk out on a 30 plus year marriage for purely sexual reasons. Also, I think it is offensive to imply that men are pigs who care about nothing but sex (why is sex #1 for men and #4 for women?) While good sex is truly important and essential for men, I doubt that it's the #1 factor in long-term relationships.


Be mysterious and surprising. If you are a complete open book when you first meet a guy, it won’t leave him with anything to be surprised by. Instead, you should tell an interesting fact about yourself each time you get together. This will leave your guy wanting to hear more about you, and waiting to find out what new thing he'll learn next. Be spontaneous with him. If you usually go to dinner for dates, invite him on an adventure like rock climbing one day. This spontaneity will excite him and keep him guessing at what you’ll want to do next.
Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.
My live in boyfriend of 5 in a half years has pulled away after I became preganant and it was a planned pregnancy. He says he wants space to reflect on our relationship but still wants to work things out and is going to make an appointment with a therapist. Should I give him this space and back off? I find this situation difficult because I feel alone during my pregnancy. He also started seeing someone else just a few days of me moving out. Should I just give up on him? I still love him.
I’ve just broken up with him and….we still live together! How am I supposed to not stay in touch etc if we share a house? We have issues and we both need time to tackle them separately. We feel there is a chance for us to be together in the future but if we were to stay together right now, things would go very bad… So, in order to salvage the feelings and fondness we had before the problem cropped up, we’ve decided to separate. BUT we live together…!!! How can I make him miss me if we’re flatmates? :/
For many women in relationships, they're hesitant to speak up and speak out in regard to their true feelings and beliefs. For example, many women refrain from sharing their actual thoughts and emotions in order to appease and please their partners or in order to avoid any possible conflict. However, being able to communicate freely and openly with your partner is at the very core of what makes a relationship last, and it's important to have the tools in place to be able to resolve arguments as a couple. Being able to have an open dialog with your mate where you can express yourself without shame, fear, or embarrassment is essential. And if you’re hiding your true thoughts or beliefs from your partner, your relationship is going to stay at a superficial level because you’re not speaking your mind. 
When you take a relationship that is brand new and start thinking that it’s something, or forcing it to be more than it is, it’s game over. Your vibe will become man repelling and before long, he’ll be gone and you will be left baffled, analyzing what exactly you did to drive him away. But you won’t ever find the answer, because it isn’t concrete and measurable.
Use social media to highlight the fun you’re having independently. Start to post pictures and status updates about how much fun you’re having doing things on your own. This works very well when trying to get an ex to miss you. Show how much you’re enjoying life on your own, and your guy will be begging to hang out with you because he misses you so much.
So we continue being sweet but we dont communicate all day. Usually in the morning only or at night but never missed to text me in more than half day. And then there was a time we stopped being sweet and he also stopped texting me and the next day he told me that he missed me and hes confused why bec. We havent met. And so we continue being sweet again. Slowly he texts me less and less. And then texts a lot again and less again.
If you feel confident at this point that you want things to be serious, go ahead and tell them, Trespicio says. "Explain what kind of relationship you want and why, defining what commitment means for you without giving an ultimatum." If they aren't open to a discussion, let them mull it over for a couple weeks. But if they still don't respond when you bring it up again, it may be time to rethink the relationship. "You have to decide which you want more: someone who's committed or this person, even if he won't ever be," Trespicio says.
Even if he doesn’t realize it at first, he will eventually learn that he has more minute-by-minute fun with you than he does with other women – other women who spend too much time trying getting a commitment out of him through pressure and nagging. In the end, he is going to follow his heart…and his heart always follows the most intense feelings and experiences—the memories of laughter, talking, and excellent conversation.
Big mistake! How can he possibly miss you if you’re giving him the same amount of time you always give him? The “gift of missing you” means that you keep all communications BRIEF. You have obligations to hang out with your girlfriends, not divide your time between them and him. Frankly, it’s disrespectful to your friends…and all it really shows him is that you’re a pushover. Men take advantage of weak women.

The ironic thing about playing hard to get is that it can work, but it’ll work on the wrong kind of guy. If the only reason he’s into you is that you’re hard to catch, what will you do once he’s caught you? You can’t stay in the limbo phase of the relationship forever. If a guy isn’t interested in the authentic you, playing the enigmatic mystery girl will only work for a brief period of time.

Thank you for reading this article and I am glad you found it interesting. There are several reasons why a man pulls away and stops contact suddenly without giving you any explanation. The important thing now, is for you to take time and reflect on this relationship. This time is for your personal growth and to rebuild your confidence. You are on the right path by working on your self and learning that you deserve so much more. I know that you truly care for him, because as you stated you have allowed him into your life several times. Keep busy and focus on what you need and try something new. I am not sure if you will ever understand why he became all talk and no action. Take this experience and grow from it so that you can have the healthy relationship you so deserve.


Hello, gud evening thanks for ur advice. My ex told me he do not want the relationship again that i should go, later he said i should give him space, i cried and begged him for two weeks after calling and texting him with no reply, i called his mom and message some of his friends and brother to help me beg him. After calling his mom, she called him and talk to him then he got pissed off and said he doesn’t want again that i should go. Then i finally agree to let him be, but the truth is that i still miss him and i still call him and message him on facebook which he sometimes reply and sometime pick my call. After reading the step now, i want to know if i should stop calling him and texting him?
I have a question, more than a comment. I’ve been dating this guy off and on for 4yrs it’s been really hard for him to find a job. He had asked me for some money to fix his car. I asked him to give me the name of exact part that was needed he asked why. I responded and said so I can look for it on line. He said no. Next day I said well whats the game plan, when will you get your car fixed? I suggested I’ll pick you up you can stay at my house, drop me off at work and you can get the part you need. He said no. Finally the next day he said his grandma will let him borrow the money but she expected it back the next day. Well I had agreed to give him the money to pay back, but after thinking about it I decided not to go along with it. Before letting him know I wasn’t willing to give him the money I had asked will you be staying tonight when you come get the money? He said no, but I will this weekend. That’s what drew the line, and I told him he’s either lying or had something else going on that he didn’t want me to know. After all this I was the bad person and he called me every name in the book. I did apologize for what I had done but that he was being very wishy washy and I didn’t understand was he was up too. I did let him know our relationship was over and it was beyond repair. My question is, how do you see this, was I wrong? Was he just using me?

Many relationship gurus may tell you to abstain from sex if you want your boyfriend's attention and make him crave you even more. But that's exactly not the point here. If you and your guy have already taken your relationship to the bed, put on a stellar performance and leave him panting for more. Feel free to take initiative in the sack, dominate and satisfy him like never before. So if he is not with you and starts fantasizing, all he will think about is you and only you.
Dear Adam, We broke up with my ex last March and he wanted it, he suddenly cut everything after a nice day we spent together and it was a new kinda relationship for 2.5 months (I know you think I am crazy but it was intense 2.5 months 🙂 and he called me as girlfriend after 2 weeks and after 1.5months he said that I don’t remember lmfabo ) )He is also divorced man 6 years ago. I used no contact rule and it kinda worked. As you said, that distance helped me to understand what was wrong by my side and his side. I read a lot of book and watched a lot podcast. After almost 7 months we saw each other but you know things happened in same day. He thought I tried to get commitment from him but he open the conversation actually. After that day, we texted each other and he said that “I just want to take our time. I cut to talk again around 5 days .Probably he sees someone else too and I should say he is acting very professional like how you call may be playballll lol .
My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me in a text message a day after Valentine’s Day. I felt like that was the cruelest thing to do after spending a wonderful time together the night before. I was just devastated, so of course I picked up the phone and called to ask why. But he couldn’t tell me and hung up on me, how humiliating that was. I went away and never contacted him again, I focused on my friends and family to help me heal. After a few weeks I noticed that he was showing up on my social media feed a lot, so I unfollowed him, my heart was just starting to heal again, I didn’t want to go through that kind of pain again. Anyway, after about 6 weeks of break up, he showed up at my place but couldn’t bring himself to knock. I got a text from him saying, I was just outside your door, I just stood there remembering all the good times we shared together. I was completely shocked as I thought I’ll never hear from him again. So I said to him, you could have knocked because I still want to know why you broke up with me in the first place, and so we planned a date to sit down and talk. It was absolutely amazing! He told me he was just too scared about how deeply he cared about me, (which I already knew) and felt that he needed to go away and think about it, wow, how astounding! We got back together a few days later and it was magical, he can’t stop telling me how beautiful I am, how much he missed me and that he loves me and wants to spend all of his time being with me from now on. So Adam, tell me what did I do wrong or right to have him come back this strong? I would dearly love to know so I can be prepared if I this ever happen again.
Yes, it seems as though this man has you where he wants you. Even though spending time with him makes you feel better in hopes it will change when you see him it will not. Honestly, I would go ghost for 30 days. Focus on you getting the control of yourself and your emotions because I understand that this can be hard but you deserve better and you have a right to demand better. He will want to know why you aren’t talking to him and after 30 days you deliver that message and once you do you have the control back. I have an amazing coach that works with women so if you need anything in the future we are here for you.
I noticed he started to like me more and more, as he went from random every 2 days texts at the beginning to every day texts and 2 times a week calls and skype, from his side! and sending me pics of what he was doing so he become very devoted and i reciprocated too 🙂 it was great though we missed each other very much. in the “break up” he was just soooo negative about us,and thinking that we dont have future because he was afraid to fail me, like WTF! he was all about the plans! he was giving really like really silly excuses once we sat and talk.
I kind of agree with both of you. I get what you mean with your post, Eric, some women just force into a relationship with a person who will never commit simply because he just does not feel the same way about her, and still she tries to push him. But I also agree that we sometimes, being more mature, I don’t know, have to act like if it was a game, knowing the right moves and words because otherwise the guy will freak out and just leave. I’m with a guy for 6 months now and he still is not sure if I’m “the one”, although we always have an amazing time when we’re together. Maybe he’s afraid to lose his freedom, or that I’ll be all jealous and stuff, but it’s very hard to pretend that I’m ok with this situation when all I wanted was a serious and honest conversation, but I have tried that in the past and he thought I was pressing him.

Anyway, while at the birthday party, he was asking me what I was doing later, even though I wasn’t doing anything. He left once it ended saying he was going over to his friend’s house. I had sent him a picture of a dog I was watching that he made a joke about, but he didn’t respond all night until the next morning, which was brief and he stopped texting after the second message. He texted me today asking for his Comcast information, said thank you, then never responded once I said you’re welcome.
Men who do this have an avoidant attachment style. Read ‘Attached’ by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller and ‘avoidant, bad boyfriends’ by Jeb Kinnison. After reading these I realised that I had been unhappily married for over twenty years to an avoidant man who ultimately cheated on me and left me. I’ve since met a man with a secure attachment style and the difference is night and day. DO NOT MARRY a man with an avoidant attachment style you will be miserable.
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