So I m a gay guy who is in love with of course another guy. we were doing so good and things happened and then he broke up with me. no, he never did ask for space. he told me that he had fallen for someone else and he was happy. ofcouse I chased him around begging to take me back and reminded him of how much I love him. oh and he lived in a different country, we met on social media. I flew over to see him. since then I have flown multiple times to see him because he asked me to go see him. he says he doesn’t want to loose me but does not seem to want to talk to me. when I call him. he does not pick up. sometime he talks to me. but most of the time. I believe he just ignores me. I don’t know what to do….. the sad part is I am madly in love with him… do I just not contact him at all? why does ppl that actually love gets hurt all the time. I don’t think I have ever been treated special by any of my partner except for him. he was so sweet to me. I guess the distance got the best of us. but is it really over? I don’t understand it. and I am sorry, if I am offending other readers. I have no where to go or talk to but to ask for help here. thank you for reading.
Im trying hard to frgt my x boy friend but dont knw why I cant overcome d situation.I cant find d same affection or feeling frm d other guy.infact there r lots of boys in my office they proposed me but I can’t relate myself with them.when 100 boys r crazy abut me then how can he leave me.why he betrayed with me why he dont love me when I can do everything fr him.this question come in my mind al d time.may b ds site wl helpme to overcome.plz suggest me in my mail id how I wl frgt him
Remember that communication is key to building healthy relationships, so ensure you figure out what each other wants before taking things further. This isn’t to say that you should turn up in a white dress, as if you’re auditioning for Frozen: The Musical (you know it’s happening), on the first date. However, as you’re getting to know someone and during the course of your relationship, you need to ask questions pertaining to your future and whether you want the same things in life?
Hi, I met this guy by chance in December and we fell deeply for each other all was going well, we were talking every day and seeing each other at least once a month. Then out of the blue he says it hurts too much when I leave and we should no longer see each other and be friends and see what happens when I move near him. I am out of the country at the moment but move back in 3 months time. I am devastated and as I’m now only away for a short period don’t understand it. He keep liking my Facebook as I’ve started to do th pimp up Facebook every one says to do, at first I did the emotional texts but even though it’s hard I don’t do that now. I keep getting texts from him saying sorry and also please do hate me…. I did respond to that saying I would never hate him as due to the distance I didn’t want him to think that. I just need some advice here as I feel we were the right people at the wrong time and will the no contact rule work in this situation. Thanks for your help
#3 He has lost attraction. At the beginning of a relationship, all a man can do is dream about having sex with you. At this point in your relationship, the brain releases a hormone called dopamine in response to dreaming about being with you. After about three to four months, however, the brain’s production begins to taper off, and it’s like the drug has worn off. When that happens, he doesn’t understand what’s going on. Afraid that he is no longer attracted to you, he may begin to pull away.
In this article, I am going to walk you through a step by step process on why these issues may happen. I ask for you to not only read but take the time to see if any of these situations sit with you. Once you notice a situation that has occurred for you previously or currently I want you to ask yourself where this is coming from? I work with many clients and this is the most common thing woman face these days. I invite you to share your comments below and I will personally answer questions you may have and try to give you my advice tailored to the question you’ve asked. I love hearing from you so please feel free to post a comment.
Biologically and traditionally males chase females and females choose which male they want as a mate. So to be masculine you are supposed to chase, and to be feminine you are supposed to receive the chase (if you are interested in the male). If you personally do not like to chase women, that is your personal preference. But that is not the norm for males. Having said that, I don’t think it’s wrong if you prefer the female to chase you. But I do think it’s counter productive for you to pull away from a female for any of the reasons you have listed and then expect her to chase after you because of it, and if she doesn’t you lose interest. It sounds like you’re testing her when you put it that way, and no one likes those kind of games.

The good news is not only is this common—but there’s a way to handle this tricky situation effectively. After all, when you first enter a relationship, there’s sure to be plenty of new boyfriend advice from your friends, your family and your co-workers. But of all of these words of wisdom, the one you want to take the most seriously are the tactics that stop a man from withdrawing from your relationship. How come? As experts explain, sometimes the way a woman communicates her feelings to her partner may make him distance himself even more.
This has nothing to do with money, but instead, it has everything to do with small favors that he can perform for you. If you’re stuck on the side of the road, ask him to pick you up. Or, if you can’t reach the light fixture in your bedroom, ask him to come over and change the bulb for you. These small tasks may not seem like much, but over time, he will subconsciously feel attached to you because of all of the work that he has put in. People tend to like you more if they do favors for you, it’s a theory called the "Ben Franklin Effect.” So continue to ask him to do small things here and there. In no time, he’ll feel so connected to you, he will be anxious to ask you to be his girlfriend!
Hey Adam I slept with a guy too soon and have been sleeping with him I don’t feel like he’s looking for anything serious cause he said he wants to take things slow after it all happened. I know he sees other women he told me he likes me an sees himself with me but not right now because he said he doesn’t think it will take much for us to get in a relationship so he wants to let more time pass he invited me to go on vacation with him I don’t know what any of this means really I tried to have an open talk with him about it by saying it’s okay tell me if you don’t want anything serious we can just end it now cause I don’t want to get hurt but he still claims he wants to be with me just not right away what do you think ? Should I run?
Here;s an interesting one and maybe I am being a brat but I’m going to ask anyway. Late October I started seeing this guy. I did everything wrong one the first date, but I din’t care one bit because I honestly didn’t find him to be great looking. Super nice, great dresser, good body, but different than I expected. Anyway, we went out again because if a guy seems to have most of the qualities I like, if I think he’s super nice and cool, I’ll give it a try. We sleep together on date 2 and again, I DON’T CARE that I probably should not have. He still wants to see me though. After date four, I decide I’m just trying to like the guy so I tell him I can’t see him anymore. I don’t say exactly why but that something is not there.He starts to ask why and then backs off (smart) and takes it like a gentleman.That was after like 2 weeks. The next day or two all I do is tell my friends about this and it occurs to me I’m thinking about him nonstop. So I text him and BAM! Back together, dating and having the best sex I have EVER had in my life. We text a lot, he intiates, I don’tact needy at all… It’s nice, it’s warm, it’s sexy, it’s just great. THEN… his mom dies. He has to leave town but he just keeps on texting me the whole time. Before that he even invited me into his own world at a ceremony he had to attend. Up to this point he says thing like when you meet so and so and things like that. While out of town, everything is still great and he says he doesn’t want to dwell on his mom.I respect that so I don’t push at all. Before he gets back he he says he needs to take me to his home town (a popular vacation destination). When he gets back I meet him but his flight was delayed so it’s pretty late (not normal for us to do late night stuff like that). I even said if it’s too late let’s reschedule. He says no so I go. The next day is fine… texting blah blah blah, but the following day he seems to be distant. I do nothing. The next day, today, I text him first. He says he had a headache the day before but it’s probably stress over deciding to leave an old job for a new one and a lawsuit he’s in. He then tells me about it. But…. he definitely seems more distant than when his mom died, so I’m thinking am I just being a complete brat here or is he actually losing interest. It seems really obvious to me but I have recently decided I don’t make excuses for a man’s behaviour any more. If they want you, no matter the circumstances, you know it. what’s your take? Feel free to completely call me out, if I am just being a big baby here. At this point, I actually do really like the guy. I wish he would say something like “I’m cray about you” or something but his actions up to this point have been great so saying words may be a bit much to expect less than 2 months in anyway. Either way, I just want to know if I should completely bail at this point because I hate this feeling!
Hi, we have been living together for 10months and we both live in Australia, we had such good moments but also we had a lot of fight over stupid things. Then another case that his dad asking him to take over his company in Netherlands. He has been thinking to take it over because he saying that our relationship wasnt going that well. He cant make any decision whether he wants to fully commit in our relationship or let his dad’s company away. So eventually we have been not living together anymore for around 3weeks now. I asked him couple times to try to fix this(last time was 2 days ago) but he keep sayinn that he cant fully commit to me at the moment because he still cant make any decision,otherwise it will just make you even more hurt. Then i stop asking or send him any message. Then now he text some random message like “today i was working with him”, he sent me a pic. I dont know what should i respond? I want to make him misses me and of course i want him back. Should i respond his random message or just ignore it..?
When you spend time apart, share your fun times with your man. It’s important he knows you’re able to have fun without him. After you spend a few nights away from your man, he may be happy you’re having a good time, but he’ll also become jealous. You want him to wish he’s the one helping you have fun. This is a great strategy if you want to reunite with an old flame. Make him see all of the fun he’s missing without you. If he sees how much fun you’re having his going to want to come along on your next adventure. This is also a good time to start updating your social media feed so he can see all the fun you’re having. Guys are definitely more visual creatures so give him something good to look it and he’ll be hooked, which brings us to our next step.
I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in 3 weeks. It seemed he was communicating less and less so I called him and he said he would call me back. He didn’t so the next morning I sent him a text stating it seemed like he wanted to break up so I would let him go. He wrote back that he didn’t want to break up, that his feelings hadn’t changed. That work had just been extremely stressful. He asked if we could get together to talk about it and suggested a day. I wrote him back in agreement I meet and talk. He never wrote back and wouldn’t answer my call. He ghosted me and after a month I unfriended and blocked him on Facebook. I miss him and I’m sure he’s missing me. Or was I played ? What should I do? LEt him go?

One of the best ways to make a guy miss you is to have fun without him. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but your guy wants to be the only thing that makes you happy. If you’re having fun without him (a girls’ night out, some really cool skydiving lessons, etc.), then he’s going to want to be part of the fun. Men like to be the ones to make you smile, and if you’re smiling without him he’ll notice and he’ll pay more attention.
"It's a turnoff for me when a girl pretends to like something just because I like it. 'You like the Knicks? Weird, I love the Knicks! Who's that tall one again? Who are you and what are your interests? If we disagree about stuff, let's have fun disagreeing about it and if any of it winds up being too important, then, well, it won't work out and that's fine." Miles P.
Exactly Why Guys Start Acting Distant All Of A Sudden (And What To Do About It) Why Men Pull Away: 3 Easy Ways To Stop A Man From Withdrawing: Infographic The Real Reasons Men Pull Away When They Are Falling In Love How To Tell If He’s Testing You By Pulling Away From You The Real Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close Why Men Pull Away In The Early Stages: How To Get Your New Guy Back
Hello well .. This guy has Been pursuing me for almost 3yrs. We were intimate, spent all of our time together. He does for me, we go out in public. We talked about marriage and kids together everthing.. He knew that i wasnt emotionally ready at the time yet he assured me it was safe to open up and be kind…Then when i finally do and say lets do this he tells me no and starts to pull away… Now he says he not ready and not intrested anymore…what happened?
Then one friday night on a party im so drunk and we go together at his place and we had an intercourse. Its not planned at all. But i think it’s the right time even though we dont define our relationship i feel comfortable with him so i feel ok. He never pressured me to have sex i just feel comfortable around him.. i think after that we are still ok, he still text me.

    "...in examining women's marital quality and men's emotional investments in marriage, we find that dyadic commitment to institutional ideals about marriage and women's contentment with the division of household tasks are more critical. We also show that men's marital emotion work is a very important determinant of women's marital quality. We conclude by noting that "her" marriage is happiest when it combines elements of the new and old: that is, gender equity and normative commitment to the institution of marriage."1

I know that what this article writes it’s true. At the same time, do I really want a person with which I have to lie about my true feelings? I am very intense, passionate, and so talk a lot about what so feel and what ai think. I feel hurt of I am not in his priorities, if he never calls me or if he says he is not sure of what he wants. Of course it would be better for the lenght of the relationship stay quiet and wait. But would I feel really fullfilled and loved just tolerating?
To a degree I understand the the above. I now how I deserve to be treated, I now what my worth is and I’ve told my guy I deserve better if it makes him run for the hill so be it. It’s ok to retreat to man gave but get a little bit of communication in any relationship I called respect. Even if it’s I need time out. I’m sick off of hanging in the side line while he tries to figure wither I mean enough or not. I beleive I myself and respect myself enough to know when enough is enough. Xx
Now, we hope that he stops the relationship before he decides to cheat. I mean, after all, whether he is bored with you or simply doesn’t think the two of you get along so great, it would still be better to have him break up with you than play games and tricks with another lady on the side. If he is suddenly too busy for you and spends a lot of time on his phone texting or talking with someone new, this may be a sign that he’s seeing someone else.
My boyfriend of almost four years broke up with me and I’m so sad. He’s been reaching out to check on me for the first four days and then just dropped off. How would this article apply to my situation? I’m not clinging to the hope of him coming back, but there’s always a chance he’ll miss me and realize what he lost. I’ve been initiating no contact with him.

Does he seem like he has one foot out the door? Like he’s not fully invested? When you bring up the topic of where things are going, does he avoid the question or say he’s not ready to talk about it? This can feel like he’s pulling away, but think about it: maybe he’s not pulling away. Maybe he’s standing still and you’re pushing. It might feel the same to you, but there’s a difference.

Doubting whether a relationship is committing to because your partner seems to be taking you for granted is not just a girl thing, it is also a guy thing. Your man wants to know that you are grateful for what he is doing for you. It doesn’t need to be a grand “thank you” but you need to tell him and show him how much you value what he does. Throwing a reward by giving him more attention in bed might even make things more enjoyable.
I met this guy 6 weeks ago via tinder and we hit it off after 3 weeks. He said he wanted to be exclusive with me and we text and talk everyday even when he’s travelling. The thing is, he is always travelling for work and when I met him back after his 2 weeks of travel (1 week ago) , I was excited to see him but I was facing with a lot of family problems (family member has cancer) that time. He was telling me how much stress he was facing during the last biz trip and I listened and comforted him. Before we parted, I said I needed a break from this relationship as is moving too fast, instead of telling him my family issues. He looked disappointed and said OK and left. He did not initiate any contact with me for the past 1 week except when he just text me arrived safely at the airport that time. The next day I text him saying I am stressed out and feel bad abt what I said to him, he didn’t reply. I text him 2 days later asking is everything OK, he said all good and he’s tired. Then 4 days later I text him that I wanted to rekindle the relationship again, no reply. I’m thinking is he pulling away as I demanded space? But I already said I want to start again. He is coming back in 5 days time. I don’t know what should I do then? Shall I wait for him to contact me or if he doesn’t, means he wants to end with me?
If you find that you never ever want space from him, it’s time for you to start finding your own space anyway. It’s not healthy for couples to spend all their time together. It can cause you to neglect your friends, family, and self. You can start to rely too much on this man (and, in my mind, you always need just a dose of independence for yourself) and lose your identity.
You begin interacting with the thoughts in your head rather than with the person in front of you. Rather than trying to learn who he is and what he’s about, you look at his behavior and the things he says as a means to measure how he feels about you… and whether you’re getting closer or further away from your goal of having a relationship with him.
I don’t want to be told to move on from him. However I feel in relation to that is going to be a natural thing, and right now I do not want to move on from him because I want to be with him so badly. I want to continue improving myself, but I need advice on how to interpret how he’s feeling and how to handle how anxious I get about what he’s doing and why he doesn’t contact me much. Oh, and one more thing … he has said that there’s always a chance for us to get back together, and in relation to the no expectations thing, he said he’s not going to think one way or the other.
I have a 4yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy. My kids dad and i was together for 12yrs i kno all to well that this happens. My best advice is to start putting the kids in childcare and you get a lil job you like or at a daycare being you you are use to caring for kids for like 4 hrs a day and stop focusing on him. And he’ll come bac around. Like that you’ll start building your own friendships and your always busy. Pay him less attention and he is gonna be like damn what happen and what he’s expecting. Have fun a mothers life is stressful to you need a outlet.

I also want to add that this isn’t the only reason a man will lose interest, it’s just the most common and most misunderstood one. The problem is most people don’t accurately define what the problem is. It gets written off as the woman being too available and not making him chase her. That is not really what’s at play here. Being available isn’t the issue, the issue is really not being present. It’s an issue that comes from seeking validation through a relationship rather than in your life.

I enjoy reading your articles. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year. We dated before 6 years ago and the reason we stopped dating is because he said I was pushing for something he wasn’t ready for. I didn’t realize I was pushing. He’s saying now like he said before, he doesn’t want a girlfriend right now, he’s too busy. But yet he’s still interested. He has said things to me like, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot and there’s nothing I can do about”, “We are more than just friends”, and then he pulls away again. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ride with him. He lives an hour away, we only text once a week or so, and only see each other every 2 or 3 months. We get frustrated with each and have arguments but still want to see each other so there’s something there. We are both Scorpios so I’ve been reading articles about 2 Scorpios being in a relationship and reading your articles. I’ve tried very hard not to seem “pushy” and realize the relationship is what it currently is. But how long do I have to wait for him to want to see me more? What should I say to him?
whenever I ask him what’s wrong with him it takes a while before I get just one sentence out of him, this has affected our relationship as communication is being lacked. Ik he’s a guy and doesn’t want to seem vulnerable I understand that but we had a over the text argument more like me yelling at him even though for days I have asked him if we can talk in person so we can settle this in person so no communication is being misinterpreted but all he did was bring up lil excuses not to talk to me or I’d ask him when we would be able to and he’d be like “Idk” and because of that I would overthink everything and then just hold everything in until finally I exploded. I usually hold my tounge with being sweet and patient and I was like that for about 3 days but I was done with him not talking about what is going on with him and us and it all started when I gave him the impression that I didn’t want to be in this relationship anymore. We were in the car and I was jumbling all my feelings and not even knowing what I was saying, I said to him that I wanted some space to get myself together so that I could love myself more for this relationship. And I think all he got from me talking was that I wanted space and that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him because that’s usually something somebody would say if they wanted to end it slowly without saying “I wanna break up with you”. I shouldn’t of worded it like that but keep in mind I was PMSing to the max and I even told him that was why I freaked out on him and to try to understand not to take anything I say personal or even seriously.
Now you might be wondering, how can I fix this and undo the damage? The answer is the same as above, just pull back, give him space, and focus on yourself. Working overtime trying to undo the damage caused by acting needy is still you acting needy. It’s you being desperate for his approval and for his love and affection. Guys hate feeling that sort of pressure from a woman, the feeling that they need to be a certain way or she will get upset.
Consider all points 1-9.  No relationship is exactly the same as another.  There could be varying elements of any of the 9 points listed above involved as well as other equally important aspects not yet discovered.  Your relationship is uniquely yours and requires love and commitment to last.  Therefore, instead of wondering why do men pull away after getting close step back and take a look at your relationship and review where the relationship started, what pulled you both together, and what ( if anything) has changed.

Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now he used to be like the best thing ever made be feel loved like never before. But of recent he got in to medical school and it started stressing him out and he started giving me less attention and I was actually going through a lot during this period and he was so busy that he wasn’t giving me attention so I started complaining and fighting with him a lot and asking for more attention but eventually he started avoiding me and every time I am with him and his not doing what I want I would start crying and I could feel him drifting away more and more then I spoke to him one night and he said he was indifferent about the relationship and wants us to be friends I cried so much and begged him for a second chance he actually really cares for me this Part I know out of pity he gave me a second chance then a few days ago he sent a random text saying his sorry he ever hurt me and he loves me so much but he still doesn’t call or text me much it hurts cause I really love him and I don’t want to loose i just need advice on what to do because all I want to do is talk to him every time but I don’t want to chock him and if his online and doesn’t text me I start to feel like he doesn’t want to talk to me the thing is how do i give him space and still make him love me as much as he used to

There’s a huge difference between being interested in the person you’re with and being obsessive/clingy. If you’re sending him 100 text messages a day asking where he’s at or why he’s not answering you, trying to see him every minute of every day, or going overboard to show him how much you care about when the relationship is fairly new, you might be pushing him away from you. Men don’t want a clingy lady. They want a woman who is secure and independent but still shows that she cares in a subtle and sensual way.
I always end up missing my boyfriend, we see each other at school but when we depart, especially on the weekends, I always end up missing him, I always would end up spam messaging him unintentionally and constantly messaging him since he's always busy and we rarely text often. I'll learn not to do that anymore, I also taught myself to stop thinking of him constantly to where it would stop me from doing my work. All I know is that I will see him again and he will text me back soon... I do love him, but I have to try keeping it healthy for us.
I’m in such limbo with what is going on, Basically me and my partner were together for nearly two years we had the best times, a few struggles. Mainly due to me, but overall we were happy and compatible. He broke up with me recently because he said it was getting too serious and he doesn’t know what he wants, he claims he needs to lose me before he realises what he had, because I made it to easy for him. He also said he wants to focus on his career and just have no one to answer to, as we are both still young it’s almost like he needs to get things out of his system, and I need to go figure myself out aswell. We left the relationship on good terms, and he said maybe we will get back together in the future, once we have both lived a while, we can catch up and see where each other are at. I’m just so terrified that he will fall in love with someone else, as I don’t know how true the things he says are true or if he just simply fell out of love with me, and don’t know if you can win someone back that doesn’t doesnt love. Any advice would Ben great thank you.
When he's feeling frequently put down, rejected, or demeaned, it's not uncommon for him to act in a cold and distant way because he doesn't want to engage with you at the risk of having another argument. Rather than fighting all the time, it's important that you and your man work on your listening and communication skills in order to handle your arguments in a constructive way that brings you closer together—rather than farther apart. 

Help! I’ve been dating a guy for about 4 months. He’s an attorney, so time together is rare but we make a point to see each other once a week, usually on the weekends and usually an overnight date. When he’s super busy, he says he at least wants to do dinner. Then one day he decided to break things off. Days after we were planning future dates. He says maybe we can get back together in the future because I’m “so perfect” but for now it’s indefinite because at this point in life, he’s too busy focusing on work to give me the attention he wants to give me even though I was totally ok with how things were going.
#6 Reward him for boyfriend-like behavior. When he does something that shows his commitment to you, reward him for it. Something like going out of his way to make plans with you or inviting you to events is definitely behavior you need to reward. When he sees that you like that kind of thing, he’ll want to do it more and soon enough, he’ll have committed to you for real.
You may want to have a unique scent for your date nights and one for your holidays, or you may want to have a unique scent for when you get busy in the bedroom. That scent can be lightly sprayed on something when you are gone, and if he catches a whiff of it, you will be the first thing to enter his mind. The more he associates that scent with good times, the more he will miss you.
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