Remember, when a man pulls away due to stress it has nothing to do with you or his feelings for you. I understand that you think he should open up to you, but you can’t place these expectations on him. Why? Because he is wired differently than you. You wouldn’t appreciate being forced into doing something that went against your nature and the same is true for him. When someone forces us to be a certain way it’s violating and invasive. It’s a breach of our boundaries and it’s disrespectful.
Hi, I was dating a guy for only two months. We had the most amazing time together and a great connection. On date 6 we confided in each other about our traumatic pasts. We had incredibly amazing intimacy and fantastic dates. By date #8 I could tell that he was starting to fall for me. On date #9 he freaked out and told me that he had absolutely no concerns regarding our relationship and that he had no doubt about our connection and that if we continued to see each other we would have a wonderful relationship. The fear that he was having is that I have a 5 year old son. I’m 33, he’s 31 and an attorney. He wants children, but said he is not ready to have a child in his life. I was not pushing anything and he was putting pressure onto himself. I told him that I was trying to focus on the present and that I was not ready for him to be a part of that either. I just wanted things to progress naturally. He had not even met my son. He ended things after our last date without giving us a chance. We are not in contact and it’s been a week. Is there any hope for this situation?
In some ways, mirroring includes – but is not restricted to – body language. If he places his elbows on the table to get closer to you, you can follow suit. Physically mimicking someone can increase your sexual tension as well as make you feel emotionally closer to the person. You could accidentally take this to an amusing level if you copy him too closely, so follow this advice with moderation.

Here;s an interesting one and maybe I am being a brat but I’m going to ask anyway. Late October I started seeing this guy. I did everything wrong one the first date, but I din’t care one bit because I honestly didn’t find him to be great looking. Super nice, great dresser, good body, but different than I expected. Anyway, we went out again because if a guy seems to have most of the qualities I like, if I think he’s super nice and cool, I’ll give it a try. We sleep together on date 2 and again, I DON’T CARE that I probably should not have. He still wants to see me though. After date four, I decide I’m just trying to like the guy so I tell him I can’t see him anymore. I don’t say exactly why but that something is not there.He starts to ask why and then backs off (smart) and takes it like a gentleman.That was after like 2 weeks. The next day or two all I do is tell my friends about this and it occurs to me I’m thinking about him nonstop. So I text him and BAM! Back together, dating and having the best sex I have EVER had in my life. We text a lot, he intiates, I don’tact needy at all… It’s nice, it’s warm, it’s sexy, it’s just great. THEN… his mom dies. He has to leave town but he just keeps on texting me the whole time. Before that he even invited me into his own world at a ceremony he had to attend. Up to this point he says thing like when you meet so and so and things like that. While out of town, everything is still great and he says he doesn’t want to dwell on his mom.I respect that so I don’t push at all. Before he gets back he he says he needs to take me to his home town (a popular vacation destination). When he gets back I meet him but his flight was delayed so it’s pretty late (not normal for us to do late night stuff like that). I even said if it’s too late let’s reschedule. He says no so I go. The next day is fine… texting blah blah blah, but the following day he seems to be distant. I do nothing. The next day, today, I text him first. He says he had a headache the day before but it’s probably stress over deciding to leave an old job for a new one and a lawsuit he’s in. He then tells me about it. But…. he definitely seems more distant than when his mom died, so I’m thinking am I just being a complete brat here or is he actually losing interest. It seems really obvious to me but I have recently decided I don’t make excuses for a man’s behaviour any more. If they want you, no matter the circumstances, you know it. what’s your take? Feel free to completely call me out, if I am just being a big baby here. At this point, I actually do really like the guy. I wish he would say something like “I’m cray about you” or something but his actions up to this point have been great so saying words may be a bit much to expect less than 2 months in anyway. Either way, I just want to know if I should completely bail at this point because I hate this feeling!

Been with my boyfriend for 6 years we have 2 beautiful Little boys together And about 2 weeks ago He started to get distant with me and I kept trying to plan stuff to do with him and you kept blowing me off And 5 days ago he broke it off with me But wants me to still live with him And sleep with him But we’re not together I don’t know what to think or how to feel All I know is that I don’t wanna be with anybody else but him I can’t get you another man in my life at all I don’t want you I’m 36 he’s 38 Our kids are 2 and 4 Is there anything I can do to get him to love me or be in love with me again He says he’ll always love me He’s not in love with me anymore
If you feel confident at this point that you want things to be serious, go ahead and tell them, Trespicio says. "Explain what kind of relationship you want and why, defining what commitment means for you without giving an ultimatum." If they aren't open to a discussion, let them mull it over for a couple weeks. But if they still don't respond when you bring it up again, it may be time to rethink the relationship. "You have to decide which you want more: someone who's committed or this person, even if he won't ever be," Trespicio says.
It started with a fwb situation (about a year ago ) and a few months back he started asking for more . We see each other about once a week. He has two jobs and has his child every weekend so fitting in time is tough . Things have been going well and escalating . Lately we have been communicating at least once , if not several, times a day. We saw each other 5 days ago and I haven’t heard anything from him …I did send him 2 short but sweet (no pressure ) text messages telling him I was thinking of him. He has read both but not responded . When we were together last we had a great time per usual. He said he loved me for the first time (and in messages earlier in the day he told me he was only seeing me ) . He had started the 2nd job this week and looked exhausted when I saw him .do you think he could just be stressed or did he freak himself out by telling me how he felt. Or does it sound like he’s backing out ,Five days is a long time for him .
If you really want your guy to finally commit to being in a relationship, you have to make commitment look like something that will be fun, light and carefree. No guy will agree to being in a relationship with a woman who is always sad, depressed and starting petty arguments with him. So every time the two of you hang out, make sure you’re doing something fun! A friendly bowling match, a round of miniature golf or checking out the latest movie are all fun date ideas that will keep your guy happy and with a smile on his face. Once he associates you with all things fun and easygoing, committing will no longer be something he dreads.
You’re in a relationship and everything seems to be going swell. You hang out all the time, he sends you goodnight texts every night, and he even surprises you with cute little gifts at your office. But lately it seems like the relationship is lacking. He’s not doing those cute things he used to do and it almost seems like he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. What gives? Here’s 10 common reasons why men pull away from women.
This is stupid. Just because you miss her/him, means she/he is going to miss you back? Um, hello? Reality check! If she/he dumped you, they are relieved! They dumped you for a reason and most of the time it’s because of what you believe in or something not right about your personality. And if you’re obsessively stalking them on FacePace or whatever, they have GOOD reason to keep you out of their lives! Please STOP trying to encourage otherwise good people into stalking their ex! It’s really really creepy!
You think you desire something serious with this particular person—but before you do anything else, be sure you actually want to commit to him or her. Step back and ask yourself the following questions, Trespicio suggests: Do I have fun with them? Is my mood elevated when I'm with them? Do I feel good about myself after we part ways? Do they improve my life? Do I feel respected?
Biologically and traditionally males chase females and females choose which male they want as a mate. So to be masculine you are supposed to chase, and to be feminine you are supposed to receive the chase (if you are interested in the male). If you personally do not like to chase women, that is your personal preference. But that is not the norm for males. Having said that, I don’t think it’s wrong if you prefer the female to chase you. But I do think it’s counter productive for you to pull away from a female for any of the reasons you have listed and then expect her to chase after you because of it, and if she doesn’t you lose interest. It sounds like you’re testing her when you put it that way, and no one likes those kind of games.
I know that no matter what our future holds, together or just friends, this will have been the best thing for us because we would have never been happy living and treating each other the way we were. He tells me he’ll always love me, but he’s living his life with no expectations and he thinks it’s best for us to both move on. Whenever I told him that I agreed we both need to move on from the previous relationship, he didn’t respond back to that part. (This was during a slip up last weekend that I regret.) I brought up how it upsets me that he’ll text me a few times a week and stop after a handful of texts, nd he made it clear he does NOT want to live his life on his phone. That was a big part of our problems, was that we HAD to be in contact 24/7, and it became very unhealthy. However, I still worry that because I don’t hear from him that often that he’s getting over me.
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Commitment is a funny thing. We allow our desire for it and other people’s promises of it, to blind and paralyze us from seeing and acting upon red/pink flags that are often, right in front of our face from the get-go. “How to get him to commit to a serious relationship,” is something I’ve Googled too many times to count. I ended up finding the answer through life-living, mistake-making, time-wasting decisions that sabotaged the chances of anyone ever wanting to commit to me in any regard.

I miss my boyfriend too. We where so close, we met at church 3 years ago and honestly my life has been a bundle of happiness. Right now he went to a refugee camp because he's not from my country and back in his country there is war at the moment. I cry every night because I know how harsh they are treated there. He has been gone for a week now and it feels like a whole decade already. What is more hurtful is that he might take even longer because of the lengthy procedures. I really miss him


Ok so my relationship with my ex was amazing! eveverything was good! I’m 28 and he’s 41! we met at work and we just connected immediately! my mom died 8 months ago and ever since then we have had a strain and it’s been a little hard but he knows what I’m going through because his mom also passed 10 years ago! my ex has never been the commitment type but he was with me for 3 years! even he said I am the only girl he’s ever loved and actually cared about! But then he wanted this break with me but was still contacting me and seeing me 3 times a week atleast! But then he cheated! he strayed and he always said he would! but it was just out of no where! he still says he loves me and maybe one day we can be together but we just need space! but I don’t get it cuz he still wants to talk to me and make sure I’m doing good! this break up had been really hard on me especially since my mom just died and he was the only one there for me! please help me I don’t know how to take control of this break up! He’s holding all the cards right now and I hate it!
Answer: You can’t make someone be at the same place as you. The only thing you can do is give him the space he needs to figure out if he wants to join you or move on. Let him go and figure things out, and if he is ready to move forward with you, he’ll let you know. Pushing him is only going to drive him farther away and will make him think you aren’t the one. [Read: The 10 best kept secrets to making a man commit to you]
You have given the best advice that I have ever read from any article or book out there and trust I have read MANY. I see where I have been going wrong with my relationships and I see that I am putting too much of what I want them to be for me in it. I see where my negative thoughts have failed me and how I can go about changing me to be a better me for a relationship. Your views are so on point and I completely understand exactly where you are coming from. I will continue to read and reread your advice until I get myself where I need to be physically and emotionally. I definitely dont live in the moment with the man I have been with and I have gotten the I dont want a relationship thing from him but I definitely see where I went wrong because this man was interested in me from the beginning and he is still here. So I see where I went wrong. I see where I need to change just from reading your articles. I am seeing clearly. Now just to adjust my behavior and actions. I believe I will see a change in him. You cant expect people to change if you dont change yourself first… Thanks for all the great advice :)
The hardest question of all to answer though is this one: ‘why do men pull away after intimacy’? The answer is unclear, but it’s usually tied to a man who realized you weren’t what he craved in the long run. Especially when he becomes distant in this case, it can be difficult to repair what you had. We’re not saying it’s impossible for a guy to overcome his worries about you or the relationship. However, usually, once those doubts become so strong that it makes him pull away and become distant, it’s often too late to salvage something strong and durable.
My fiance broke up/moved out in April. We had been having some problems for awhile and I was crushed by him leaving. I was angry, and sad. I was and had been very resentful about finding out he was married a 4th time that he never told me about. (I found out from a friend 1.5 years b4 he left). When I found out the issue was never discussed. Now I do take a lot of blame for many of our problems in our relationship. I asked him not to leave but he did, After he left he then was crying and very upset. He begged for me to take him back, yet none of our problems were really talked about. Things just kept spiraling. We have continued to text daily, some days all day long.
So, I met him accidentlly one night on the way to a friend’s place after a party. th is guy’s bike had broke down n he also had bruises on him because had slipped. i asked my friends to stop to help him. my friends helped him n I, God knows why, invited him over to my friend’s place, one of the reasons may be because it was late at night and he stayed close to my friend’s place. He accepted. We hit it off right away. we stayed up all night, all of us and talked. next morning he also stayed back for breakfast. he randomly gave out his #. but i did not save it. instead one of my friend(guy) did. I was leaving the city pretty soon. so, my friends and i were planning for house party at my place. he offered to come, too and suggested he’d cook as a thank you for helping him.
My ex and I broke up 4 days ago, we were together for 9 months. In The first month of our relationship I went on a cruise and my friend asked if we were still dating. She saw him making out with his ex gf at her party. I talked to the girl and she told me they even had sex and she had his necklace and earring and he even changed her name in his phone to a guys name. I read very inappropriate messages between the two. Saying, “he got a instant b*ner when she put her tongue down his throat at the party”. He admitted that she kissed him first and that’s all it was and nothing more. He said he never cheated on me meaning he never had sex with her and how he couldn’t do that and still be with me. So 8 months go by and the majority of our relationship we spent time watching tv, playing video games, going to a few parties, but not really going out and doing actual couple things. Back to it being 4 days since we broke up, he initiated the break up because I found tinder on his phone, but it was also mutual because at times he didn’t treat me right and I constantly saw him messaging other girls not necessarily cheating and then he made a tinder account two days before we broke up because he said it was because of the possibility of us breaking up. Three days go by and he texted me at like 12:30 am saying, “you been doing okay”, but I didn’t respond and an hour later ““ the thumbs emoji because I didn’t respond. But this whole time we’ve been broken up he’s been going out to the bars staying out late at night with his friends even staying at the place he’s at till the morning. But the worst part is his friends are a major problem, was a problem in our relationship, they … mainly one friend encourages him to go out and get drunk. Maybe that’s his way of not feeling the pain and distracting himself for reality but I wish he would just grow up and mature and not always choose his friends and having to always say okay to what they want to do. If he were to say no he would get manipulated and they would beg him to come out. The last thing I said to him was I hope he takes this time to work on himself and not being in a relationship. He said he agrees and it’s time for him to be by himself and not in a relationship. For his sake I hope this is true. It seems like he goes from relationships to relationships. … Him texting me that is just throwing me off. I need some advice.
When he's feeling frequently put down, rejected, or demeaned, it's not uncommon for him to act in a cold and distant way because he doesn't want to engage with you at the risk of having another argument. Rather than fighting all the time, it's important that you and your man work on your listening and communication skills in order to handle your arguments in a constructive way that brings you closer together—rather than farther apart. 
3. Don’t give him all the “girlfriend privileges” before he’s calling you his girlfriend. This includes sleepovers (whether you have sex or not) and having sex. The reason you have to be careful not to give a guy you’re dating “girlfriend privileges” before you’re in a committed relationship is because he’s going to think to himself, “Why should I be in a committed relationship if I can get all the things I want while still being single?!” There’s nothing worse than a man who gets girlfriend privileges without having to take boyfriend responsibility. Chew on that one for a while and make a conscious choice about how you want to proceed. If you need to reference the old school phrase “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” well then, reference away. When it comes to committing to women, men report that it absolutely has to be the right woman at the right time. But if you can help him realize why he would want to commit to you by associating the utmost pleasure and positive feelings with a relationship, you’ll be headed in the right direction.
In my personal life, I meet all sorts of people.  Some people are easy and fun to be around … I can spend hours with them, talking about things, laughing about things, and just genuinely enjoying their company. Being around them doesn’t require effort and I don’t want anything from them. I would have just as much fun driving in the car with them and chatting as I would doing something “exciting.”
I was dating this guy I was working with for slightly over a month. It went extremely fast and was very intense- lots of butterflies and passion and warm fuzzies all around. Not all of that time was completely awesome- there were times he’d commit to something and back out after the last minute with an excuse like he had no gas or money to come see me. He would also text me that he felt I didn’t really want what he wanted- a future, white picket fence, etc. I tried to explain (in person) that until we had time to develop to that level that I could say I wanted that (white picket fence) in my life in the future, but I didn’t want to say or commit immediately to something that might turn out to be a lie. We got into a fight a few days after one of those conversations and what was also after a period of time where we didn’t see much of each other aside from work- five days, actually. He couldn’t make it to my house over the weekend for the aforementioned gas/money issue when I tried to make plans, and it turned out I had plans with my best friend (and roommate- no, not a guy) and an out of town guest staying at our place for most of the rest of the week. Anyway, the argument ended when I told him that if he couldn’t respect my autonomy when it came to decisions about my health and body then he could get the f*** out. He took my word for it and told me fine, he was gone. I called and texted him throughout the next day to try and talk things out, but he ignored every attempt to contact him. I was devastated, and also a bit pissed. He texted me after I had already gone to bed later that night. I went out of town the day and didn’t respond to anything he sent me throughout the day until I got home and we proceeded to get into another argument via text. It wasn’t resolved in any kind of manner. He came into work the next day and proceeded to completely ignore that I existed, and close to the end of my shift he went to his (not mine) supervisor and proceeded to accuse a co-worker and I of sabotaging his work. I can honestly say we did no such thing- I didn’t even mention that we had been dating to anyone, let alone that we had broken up. People still knew, mostly cause he couldn’t quit talking about it. Anyway, he walked out of his shift that night. The next night he did acknowledge I existed, and I tried to respond minimally and civilly. He ended up walking out of that shift too, claiming that he was being made fun of every time he entered mine and my-co-workers primary work area. That wasn’t true either- we were joking around and laughing, but not about him at all. They fired him after that. He texted me a day or after basically deriding my character and maintaining his accusations, no matter how much I tried to claim innocence. During this whole “bad” period I had intended to attempt to talk and possibly reconcile with him, but never got a chance while defending my integrity. Another period of time passed- about a week or so, and then he called me asking for some of things back, and I agreed to return them and again attempted to try to talk things out, but he was still convinced I had more or less caused his losing his job. Another week went by, and I texted him merry christmas- responded saying he missed me and knew the breakup was his fault, but made no mention of getting back together, just said he hoped I was doing well and he didn’t want ruin my day by saying anything else. I texted back and tried to express that I wasn’t angry at him and just wanted to know what had happened. That ended with a long text by me that went unanswered until a little over a week later when he texted me asking if I wanted my things. I said yes, and my roommate and I went up to get my things, which he suddenly couldn’t find. He admitted the whole dang thing was his fault and thought I could do better than him- I told him I didn’t want to do that and that I really had just wanted to talk things out if possible. He kissed me a couple different times and the night ended on a hopeful note, though I still didn’t have my things. He texted me on my way back home that he had found my things. I called the next night after I got off work and asked if I could pick them up- he sighed and said it was last time he was gonna see me. I told him that depended, but he hung up at that point. I got my things, and he told me to have a goodnight. I left, and circled back around and asked him if he really thought I gave a s*** about the ‘stuff’- I had made no attempt to get it back and wrote it off as lost. He said he had just taken a job nearer to where I lived so he could see me more easily, and at that point I thought it prudent to mention my roommate had banned him from the house- she owns it and I pay rent, so really, it was up to her. At everything kinda dissolved after that, he said that in that case nothing could go anywhere with us, and accused me of putting myself on ‘the victims side’ of the situation bringing up the whole ordeal from work again. When I asked for clarification about what exactly he meant he said, I quote, “this is bulls***, you can’t even admit it! Goodnight.” And literally left me outside in the cold. I left after that and later texted him asking if he still wanted to be with me despite all the stuff that’s happened up to that point. No answer for a few days now- honestly, I just want to know if I should expect us to be able to work things out or not. I feel heartbroken and like I’m being played at the same time, but I’d take the chance if it were presented all the same. We had what I feel was a highly passionate connection while we were together and I was beginning to fall in love with him. What do you think the chances of getting back together are?
Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a short book with a large amount of insight about making relationships thrive called “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” and it boils down to the importance of learning your partner’s love languages. “My conclusion after many years of marriage counseling,” Dr. Chapman says, “is that there are five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.” Those include words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
am reading your discussion on how important it is to keep in touch after a long distance breakup…but it seems my boyfriend sometimes is interested in conversations and will write quite a lot, then sometimes he is one worded and/or doesn’t even reply anymore. He tells me he is here always when I need him and wishes me the best, etc, and numerous times he has asked me if we broke up if it’s possible for us to stay in contact and be friends and I said over time maybe, but that I don’t know, but now that we have broken up I miss him and it’s been one month. We are both from the same city and then we both moved to the east coast for college and stayed together a year and a half, but started falling into communication failures and distance. We have generally been very good at fixing our problems, but this summer we both were in the same city for two months, it was wonderful, then I left for a month to a different country and it started to happen again where we lost touch and communication became worse to the point where I would express my deep sadness and emotions about not being happy and all the things I felt were wrong in our relationship. He wanted to fix it and admitted he felt the same and wanted to rekindle the spark, but then the last week before I came he became distant again and then I got back and we talked, cried and broke up. We said let’s give each other a few days to think it through, but then we broke up. I regret losing him and I have followed all the steps and methods and in your videos. The ones about writing bullet points on what went wrong, his views, etc and I still feel lost, but I have come to terms with a lot of things I did wrong. He owed me money from a previous trip we went on and I was a bit rude about it and I feel it somewhat ruined the relationship after the break up, but then we started to slowly talk and I asked his opinion on something, he was kind, but stopped anwering. I’m not sure what else to do. I am now back in the city I study in and he is still home, but will be back soon, 3 hours away.
However, for women it is always nice when a guy does the romantic thing and buys you presents etc. So if you have been in a relationship with your man for a while and this is happening to you, then you can also use James Bauer’s questioning technique to get him to realise on another level that he needs to pay attention to you in a more romantic way.
If you really want your guy to finally commit to being in a relationship, you have to make commitment look like something that will be fun, light and carefree. No guy will agree to being in a relationship with a woman who is always sad, depressed and starting petty arguments with him. So every time the two of you hang out, make sure you’re doing something fun! A friendly bowling match, a round of miniature golf or checking out the latest movie are all fun date ideas that will keep your guy happy and with a smile on his face. Once he associates you with all things fun and easygoing, committing will no longer be something he dreads.

If you’re really digging this guy, you have probably completely lost yourself in your quest to make him your boyfriend. You keep your phone ringer turned on at all times so you never miss a call from him, you cancel on your friends if he asks you out last minute, and whenever he wants to see you, you clear out everything else that you have going on in your schedule just so you can spend time with him. You may think you’re just showing him how much you really like him, but honestly, you’re going about things the wrong way.


I’ve been in a LDR with a guy over a year. At the beginning, he was interested in me. We had fun together and our conversations was deep. After that, I was unhappy with a little bit time he spent to our relationship so that I emailed him and telling him my true feeling that I was unhappy beacause he didn’t put me in his priority. He told me he was busy with new job, it’s difficult to have space time to talk. How about this: “one of us talk when we have something new or important thing to say…”. I was angry and didn’t contact him anymore. During 8 weeks no contact with him, I miss him so much. I still have strong feeling for him. But he didn’t text, call, email me. I’m feeling bad but I don’t want to lose myself. Truly, I want to get him back but I don’t want to contact him first. What can I do, I really don’t know.

I met my dream guy 1.5 years ago , Long distance , we text and stay in touch through Videos and social media , and the love started growing , we are both connected daily , however now that I live in the same town , do my own thing , I love to be independent , we still continue our game but he is not bringing it up to the next level of action yet, like asking out for a date , I wonder if I need to withdraw more , make him miss me more , and not respond to his videos an hour or 2hours later ? I am always available , every day when he posts …AM.


I didn’t realize it then, but I don’t think I should’ve jumped back into the relationship so quickly. Because very soon afterwards, I started to fall into another slump after I lost two jobs within two months. I was stressed again, and started to feel depressed without realizing how much I put on his shoulders. He never complained. He was there for me. I feel like I took it for granted a little bit.


The truth is that if you have lost your identity, then you will feel like your relationship, and your man, is the reason you are living. That’s going to scare the hell out of any man. You will have forgotten that you are your own person in life on your own path and, that no matter how scary it can be at times, you are the only one who you will be with every second of your life. It’s important to maintain your identity.
Been with my boyfriend for 6 years we have 2 beautiful Little boys together And about 2 weeks ago He started to get distant with me and I kept trying to plan stuff to do with him and you kept blowing me off And 5 days ago he broke it off with me But wants me to still live with him And sleep with him But we’re not together I don’t know what to think or how to feel All I know is that I don’t wanna be with anybody else but him I can’t get you another man in my life at all I don’t want you I’m 36 he’s 38 Our kids are 2 and 4 Is there anything I can do to get him to love me or be in love with me again He says he’ll always love me He’s not in love with me anymore
It’s true, we are naturally attracted to people like ourselves. The more you have in common the better but even more important, you should show him your interest by mirroring him. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve got to wear the same clothes as he does. However you should copy his actions. If he takes a sip of his drink you should do the same. Use the same words he does later in the conversation, and if he holds his hands a certain way you should do the same.
Hey.. I’m in love with this guy for almost 6 months now and we are in a long distance relationship..since from the day we met he treated me like I’m the only girl in the world he respect me like I’m around him always he calls me day and night.. And we hardly see each other because of his work and the distance between us.. Few days back I visited him where he stays and he introduced me to everyone around him and everything was good until I hold his phone while he was asleep.. I found out that his cheating for me which changed everything ..I’m a Moody person.. Then I asked him everything and he answered me some not everything.. Then he apologized about his doings and promise me that he will short everything out soon.. And I did forgiven him but sometimes i feel like I have done a wrong thing it will happen again and we are living miles apart so I’m afraid.. Please I need an advice on what to do!
My fiance broke up/moved out in April. We had been having some problems for awhile and I was crushed by him leaving. I was angry, and sad. I was and had been very resentful about finding out he was married a 4th time that he never told me about. (I found out from a friend 1.5 years b4 he left). When I found out the issue was never discussed. Now I do take a lot of blame for many of our problems in our relationship. I asked him not to leave but he did, After he left he then was crying and very upset. He begged for me to take him back, yet none of our problems were really talked about. Things just kept spiraling. We have continued to text daily, some days all day long.
This may come as a shock, but that tough, rugged man you’re dating gets scared of things, too. And like most other men in the world, he’s probably scared of love and long term relationships. You see, for the most part, men don’t want to be lovey dovey. They don’t want to feel mushy feelings or fall head over heels for a beautiful woman. It’ in their nature to be the tough guy who doesn’t have sensitive feelings. If he’s starting to fall in love with you, he might pull away for the simple fact that he is afraid of love and doesn’t want to fall too deep. The good thing about this reason is that most of the time, these scared men come crawling back to their lovers with flowers and a long speech about how much they love you and need you, but were afraid of slipping into the black hole of love.
Another ways to make my boyfriend miss me and want to see me is to do what he likes. Every guy has a thing that he really likes from his girlfriend. For instance, maybe he likes a certain way you dress or tie your hair. When you meet or see him, do those things that he really likes from you. When he remembers these little moments, he will miss you.
Hey girl, I don´t want to be rude intruding in something that´s clearly none of my business, but reading you has made me very upset about you boyfriend, or well, the father of your child. He needed space, but started seing someone else? I know you must love him, but that´s not a mature way to behave. If he can´t be responsible for his actions and its consequences, you should better move on. And you say it was a planned pregnancy, so there was a discussion and plenty of time to declare that he was not sure about it, if that is the case. It is very unfair that now he gets to decide if he wants to be there, in this stage of life, if he is “ready”, while you are already pregnant and shouldn´t it be something just yours. He is inmature, selfish and irresponsible, you don´t need another child to raise but the one you are carrying. So, I send you from very far away, all my strenghts and good wishes, put yourself up together and love yourself, so once the baby is born he/she will have a caring mom. The best for you and your baby, take care of yourself…

On the other hand, you’re wild and out of control in areas where it counts: like sex! A man wants to feel like he’s losing control sexually, like you’re even more insatiable than he is. You want sex more than he does, if that’s even possible, and there are no taboos you’re unwilling to discuss. You’re not a prude. You just haven’t decided yet, whether he’s worthy of you and knowing your fantasies.
So I was seeing a really awesome guy for a little bit. We met through mutual friends and we really hit it off…but then he started to get busy with life, which is understandable, it happens to us all…we would always make plans to see each other but something would always come up to where he couldn’t make it. Then I get a random text how he has too much going on and he won’t be able to give me the time I deserve and how he’s upset about the whole situation because he can’t make it right and that I’m one of the most radiant things to walk into his life. I told him that I understand that life gets crazy and I’d be willing to do whatever it took to make it work and how happy I was since we met…I haven’t heard from him since…what should I do?!? Like give him some time and hope that he will call me? Or just try to move on? I don’t understand why all of a sudden I get pushed away and I’m unaware if I did anything wrong…I’ve been trying to wrap my brain around it but I get no where but sadness…
I hope that women or men in the world don’t apply this article to their relationship. If someone distances themselves from you then they just don’t want to put effort into it. Therefore, it’s best to get away from that person as soon as possible. There are many others that will show 10 times the effort. Don’t fall into this social construction that, if your partner distances themselves, just act like everything is okay and force yourself to be happy with them.

I read your article and found it useful as this was my first serious relationship and he has decided to ended by ghosting (he did however tried to end it before and pleaded to give us a chance) after texting him concerned about why he is not answering and that was a week after me not contacting him he calls me ending it anws I pleaded for him to come by tmrw so we can talk I wasn’t sure he was going thru it and I ended up going through binge drinking to the extent he came by and saw me all drunk and vunrable he left shortly (I do not remember that much) and ended calling him once and texting him a huge message about admitting what we had was real
Hey Adam I slept with a guy too soon and have been sleeping with him I don’t feel like he’s looking for anything serious cause he said he wants to take things slow after it all happened. I know he sees other women he told me he likes me an sees himself with me but not right now because he said he doesn’t think it will take much for us to get in a relationship so he wants to let more time pass he invited me to go on vacation with him I don’t know what any of this means really I tried to have an open talk with him about it by saying it’s okay tell me if you don’t want anything serious we can just end it now cause I don’t want to get hurt but he still claims he wants to be with me just not right away what do you think ? Should I run?
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 11 years and we’ve been engaged but nothing happened. We have a daughter and I feel he does not feel the same about me. We’ve had major issues but always end back together. We having problems now and I said I want a open honest loyal relationship but ye says I’m mad and I spy on him because I want him to invite me on his face book which I haven’t been on ever. I feel if he can’t allow hes full commitment it will never work. He’s friends with everyone we know on fb but me. It hurts and I’m really sad about this because he does not want to be open with me. He the LD me today he won’t give my way until I prove myself. I’m confused and don’t know what to do we live together with our daughter but feels like a nothing and I mean nothing to him…. Cf
my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me and he said his tired of all the fighting and his reached his breaking point. yes his years we’ve been fighting a lot and it was also wearing me out but I always told myself that I would fight for the relationship and thought all the fighting were probably tests to see how strong our relationship is. I begged him and told him I’ll do anything to make him happy and try to minimize the fighting, he wasn’t interested. its been a month since we broke up and o last spoke to him two weeks back and he said I should move on then said he needs time with no communication, he even removed all our pictures from his social media. I love him and he genuinely loved me. he told me that he has never had a gal that loved him like I did and he doubt he’ll ever find her but his not sure if he still wants to be with me, his heart wants me but his mind doesn’t. please advise

I have a 4yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy. My kids dad and i was together for 12yrs i kno all to well that this happens. My best advice is to start putting the kids in childcare and you get a lil job you like or at a daycare being you you are use to caring for kids for like 4 hrs a day and stop focusing on him. And he’ll come bac around. Like that you’ll start building your own friendships and your always busy. Pay him less attention and he is gonna be like damn what happen and what he’s expecting. Have fun a mothers life is stressful to you need a outlet.

Talk to your boyfriend about anything that has been going on in his life. Listen to what he has to say. Show him that you are interested to know all about it. By being a good listener, you will make him miss your presence all the time. Remember not to ask too many intruding questions as that could be a turn off. Don’t be so suspicious of him as he might think that you don’t trust him as well.


One quick way to push a man away is by pressuring him- especially when it comes to tying the knot. If you keep mentioning marriage to him and he doesn’t bite or he’s made it very clear he’s not ready for marriage but you keep pressing the issue, you will certainly push him further and further away. Men don’t want to be pressured about marriage (or kids for that matter). They are the man. They want to be in charge. When they are ready to make a commitment like that, trust me- they will let you know. Until then, don’t pressure him into doing anything he clearly doesn’t want to do. You wouldn’t want HIM to treat YOU like that, right? So don’t do it to him. If you’re unsure about where he stands on the topic of marriage, try bringing it up in a light and conversational way. If he seems intrigued, feel free to mention it every now and then. However, if he completely changes the subject or seems totally disinterested, I suggest cutting that conversation completely.
This particular relationship advice is for women exclusively. Big mistake women make is thinking that their man can read their thoughts and should “just know” when they are angry, hungry, tired or upset about something that happened at work.  Even the most intuitive man cannot know what’s inside your head.  Use your communication skills to express your feelings.  It will make everything easier and you won’t end up harboring resentment because your man had no idea you wanted him to pick up pasta for dinner instead of pizza.  
#9 He knows it isn’t right but doesn’t know how to tell you. He may love you but may not be in love with you. Yes, that sounds like a cliché, but it’s a real thing. He cares a great deal for you, but that romantic love for you just may not be there. That last thing he wants to do is hurt your feelings, so he may become distant while he tries to figure out how to approach you about it.
Hi! My ex broke up with me because of the exams I will have in next June called panellhnies and it determines what university will I study. Nevermind, he broke up with me because he could not see me as much as he wanted to during that time. Now he is commenting on one of my friends Instagram posts and asks her if they can go to the gym together etc. I feel so heartbroken and I really want to make up things with him and be together but I believe he doesn’t think about me. How can I make him want me back?

I believe a week or maximum of two weeks in the first 6 months or so of getting to know each other is okay – for him to retreat into his man cave. If he’s going for longer than that after the first 6 months of the relationship or continuing to pull away altogether, you’re wasting your time on him. He’s not ready to settle down or simply just not into you, period. Walk away, girlfriend.
I saw a whatsapp pick of a workmate on my guys phone, he said he used it to let someone leave him alone I got a bit jealous and now he for the first time in our relationship got distant and didn’t answer my calls or texts, I decided to leave him alone since he’s very busy with work but I saw him and it seems he’s chasing me down and came up to me, we had a good brief conversation, though short but I can sense he was happy to see me.
My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for the past 15 months. He works out of town all week so we only saw each other every weekend but talked and texted daily. The relationship was good, even talked we both wanted long term and eventually to live together until 3 months ago when he took a new job for his company. The demands of the job and long hours started changing him, which i told him that. He was becoming irritable, pulling away so I started pressing for him to just move in with me and my teen son so it would be easier on all of us. We’ll you guessed it, he finally said I love you with all my heart but I can’t give you what you want. He couldn’t live with me and didn’t think he could deal with the teenage way of life nowadays. Of course I did all the wrong things afterwards trying to convince him why we should work it out since we loved each other so much, even told him I was OK with us not living together, which I am OK with and I shouldn’t have pressured him when he already had enough pressure from the new job. He asked for his freedom even though he says he still loves me. We continue to text some for about a week after this but I still was doing all the wrong thing and my last text was I love you, to which he responded Enjoy your day. I have since stopped all contact and know there is probably no hope of him wanting me back even though I know he really loves me. I’m a strong person and realize life goes on and I’ll be fine but I love him so I’m going to try your steps and see what happens. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for the past 15 months. He works out of town all week so we only saw each other every weekend but talked and texted daily. The relationship was good, even talked we both wanted long term and eventually to live together until 3 months ago when he took a new job for his company. The demands of the job and long hours started changing him, which i told him that. He was becoming irritable, pulling away so I started pressing for him to just move in with me and my teen son so it would be easier on all of us. We’ll you guessed it, he finally said I love you with all my heart but I can’t give you what you want. He couldn’t live with me and didn’t think he could deal with the teenage way of life nowadays. Of course I did all the wrong things afterwards trying to convince him why we should work it out since we loved each other so much, even told him I was OK with us not living together, which I am OK with and I shouldn’t have pressured him when he already had enough pressure from the new job. He asked for his freedom even though he says he still loves me. We continue to text some for about a week after this but I still was doing all the wrong thing and my last text was I love you, to which he responded Enjoy your day. I have since stopped all contact and know there is probably no hope of him wanting me back even though I know he really loves me. I’m a strong person and realize life goes on and I’ll be fine but I love him so I’m going to try your steps and see what happens. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
I’m also in a relationship that i believe i committed myself too soon and i let him know of this. His response was that he wasn’t sure if he would even be available because his job might transfer him. I think he just used this reason as a way out. But, yet I’ve tried to put such boudary by letting him know that since we don’t want the same things we could just be friends. And although, I was hoping he wouldn’t take me up on it he did. So we stopped seeing eachother for a couple of weeks, but it’s been awful and I’m dying to see him again. So, when he playfully suggested to meet him again I totally went for it. But I’m afraid, this will put us right back to where we started. Do you think there is any way to put this relationship back in the right track? or there’s no way to save it now? I would appreciate any help you can give me.. Thanks
This is Dana I just want you to help with my issue. I met a guy I obsorved his character he is genuine, and kind to everyone. The thing is that he is making me to feel that he likes me but when I started to talk him as a friend, he just telling me tat he got crush on some one else & her age is 22 and few days after he Says tat he is loving a girl from the same premises and she is 24. I didn’t understand what he is trying to tell. My question for you is did he making to jealous or he just wants avoid me.
When your boyfriend misses you, it shows that he cares about you and is feeling disconnected from you physically and emotionally. If you are in a long distance relationship or if you are often away from your partner, it can be even harder to maintain a connection. There are several things that you can do to make sure your boyfriend misses you when you are apart, such as improving your communication, surprising him, and finding ways to increase his feelings of attraction for you.
Men do enjoy being in relationships (when it’s with the right woman, that is), but at the same time, most men have a huge fear of losing their freedom and getting trapped in a situation with a woman who sucks them dry and leaves them feeling drained and uninspired. A man will feel “free” in a relationship when he’s with a woman who is whole and fulfilled in her life and doesn’t rely on the relationship to meet her every need.
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