I know this is very difficult, but just continue what you are doing and do not initiate contact with him first. However, if it as already been eight weeks with him not nudging you, then he does not deserve you anyway. Or else give it a last shot and try contacting him now, and if you all get back together then switch your position. Act like you do not care how often you see him. Use reverse psychology on him.
When you’re in a relationship and things are going well, you want to know whether it has a future. You’ve probably been dating a while, but you’ve found yourself in a sticky conundrum. You want to push things forward, but you’re unsure if your guy wants the same. Some men aren’t ready for that level of commitment, and some men will never be ready. I’ve known women who have dated men for eight, even ten years, waiting and waiting for him to propose. Much to their disappointment, they find out that he enjoyed the current setup they have and doesn’t want things to change.

hello! well i ve read this article and i want to share my story also. I met this guy online and we “clicked” immediately. we ‘ve been texting-videocalling all the time and he told me from the beginning he was looking for sth serious etc. He called all the time and texted A LOT. we werent in a relationship since we haven’t met yet but we promised to meet in 4 months from now. the thing is he became a lot more distant this week. he doesn’t call or text as often. dont get me wrong he still does but if he sent 20 messages a day now he sends 5 . maybe he got scared because i am kind of clingy sometimes but at the beginning he seemed to not bother at all. i like him so much and i am afraid he might bail on me . what should i do? as far as i know asking him is not a good idea right?

So now that we know what the reasons might be, it's easier to understand how to react or, more importantly, how not to react. After careful observation of love and dating, this is what I know to be true: Convincing a man to love you will never work. Trying to persuade him to see how great you are together is pointless. Sharing your feelings with the hopes he will realize how much he means to you will also get you nowhere.

Sometimes the relationship started out well and then over time disintegrated into something that resembles resentment and abuse rather than love or respect.  Sometimes the relationship was never good to begin with, but the woman wants me to show her “relationship magic” to “make it work.”  This is what I equate to trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. (If this situation sounds familiar to you, be sure to read this article on Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship.)
If you must, flip through a couple of pictures quickly. Don't keep gazing at them, or else you could be lost in the heartbreaking sadness of not having your guy by your side. Take this same approach with the rest of your life, it is not healthy to constantly think about your man, you have to go out and live your life. If you find yourself daydreaming too much about your boyfriend, find something else to occupy your mind.
Sociologist Edward O. Laumann of the University of Chicago, the lead author of a major survey of sexual practices, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, told me that at a certain stage, "Men trade up for younger women." This is often related to sexual desire. Laumann noted that this is the reason why so many woman die alone in nursing homes, while men die in the arms of a partner. (Read more in Sex Makes for Happy Seniors.)
I can vouch that your advice really works! I met a wonderful man after I started treating myself as valuable enough and realised what I want in a relationship. I bought both of your programs and studied them carefully and it made me see things differently. Not long after that, I met my Mr Right! Keep up the good work Matt and ladies, you CAN listen to him!
Immediately pump the brakes on everything you’ve currently been doing, and completely go MIA for a bit. The key is to pull back just a little bit, and give your guy the opportunity to really miss you. This pull back technique will not only make him crave you, but it will make him wonder if there’s another guy in your life who has your attention. He will soon realize that he misses having you in his life, and he doesn’t want to run the risk of another guy swooping in to steal you away! It won’t be long before he’s finally making things official with you.
There’s a fine line between being your most charming self and getting lost in mind-games. One way to help distinguish which side of that line you’re on is whether or not you feel like you’re being yourself. If you find yourself resorting to methods that don’t feel true to you, that’s a red flag. Even if you do manage to snag the object of your affection, are you really going to want to keep up these tricks during the relationship?
My boyfriend and me are in a long distance relationship. We just spent a week together after 6 months and I cant stop crying now that hes gone. We cried together before he left back for america too. Love is hard but hes worth all of this. Going to throw myself into a part time job over the summer so I dont spend my time missing him. And at the same time, earn money to go and see him too. People should do it

Everything went well…we were soo deep in conversations…but the only thing we did was we dint confide each other that we were in love with each other….i was too afraid to….and he loves texting me often…and he says im damn cute in my photos…pulls my leg often…and we chat day and night…he says im his bestiee…all of a sudden he started replying me in one word texts like ohhh’s and hmm’s which drove me mad….i dunno wat conclusion to make…may be he has found me boring and too available….i love him soo much and it really hurts if he doesn’t chat with me as before….i went offline for a month…and going offline will make him miss me??? Will that make him crave for my presence!! Pls…help me somebody..im dying everyday
I listen to your Video. ..How to Make Him miss you. I really wish I would have listen to your video before hand I did everything wrong because I wasnt aware. Well low and behold he broke up with me and it hurt pretty badly for 4months. I can see in his eyes it hurt him to do that. We both had strong feelings for each other and the Love making was on the top of the chart. Ive learned alot from now to then. He’s back in my Life and I truly Love him as if he never left were able to pick up from where we left off. I want this to work with him forever. I want him to be my last relationship.
My boyfriend broke up with me early this month. He tells me he still loves me but felt like things weren’t feeling right anymore. He didn’t have this feeling for long he said, but he did feel it. We got in a fight one day and that’s when we broke up. He’s told me multiple times he does miss me, and begged me to come over when he was drunk because he just wanted to see me. We used to spend every night together when he was home from school, so I thought maybe we just spent too much time together doing the same boring thing everyday so he got tired of the relationship and not me? We’re not talking right now but idk what to do. We haven’t went a whole week in the past two years without talking to each other. Do you think he’ll miss me enough to want me back?
Through out the years I thought about him, and tried dating other people but it was never the same feeling I had, that I felt for him. I looked him up on Facebook and saw he was in a relationship and just had a baby, I left it alone but I’d check his Facebook every so often, this year I looked at it and he was no longer in relationship, it had been 8 years since we had spoken, I decided to send a message and he responded. I was so excited and seemed to be too, we exchanged numbers and soon were talking and texting everyday, he would send pictures and face time and we were catching up, this was in March. He told me that in December he and his baby’s mom broke up because she cheated on him, she had a long time friend that she moved into the house, because he needed a place to stay, but while he was at work she was heating on him with this guy, it went on for months and he felt like he was going nuts thinking this stuff was going on, but them saying he’s wrong, he finally saw that she was cheating and she kicked him out of the house and has this new guy living with her, they are still together.

So as much as you want him to open up and think he “should,” you can’t demand it of him. The best thing to do is back off and give him some space. Spend that time focusing on yourself instead of worrying why he’s pulling away from you and what to do about it. Work on recharging your batteries so that you can put positive juice into the relationship.
I was in a relationship with I guy where I pulled away because I fell in love with him and I needed time to process it. I didnt tell him how I felt. I still texted a little, maybe every second/third day just a bit over two weeks, but by the time I came back, he was moody, and started drifting a little from me. He then wanted time apart because he couldn’t deal with my emotional boundary I put up before. So I told him the issues I had and that I fell in love with him. So while we gave each other space, we missed each other. I was happy to see him when I cane back but he begged me to fall right back into the relationship too fast and it was all a very confusing mix of blaming and missing me and I found myself backing away again. Thats when I decided to stopped seeing him, even though I loved him.
If you are fond of flea markets, you would be familiar of the technique where you have to walk away to get a better price for what you want to buy. This same concept can be applied to commitment. The more you pursue something relentlessly, the higher the likelihood that the other party would succumb. Sometimes, the best strategy is to keep your cool and act like it’s not a big deal whether you get what you want or not.
While every time I tried to break up with him , he would response and tried to explain and convince me to stay with him , I DO like him , so i went to him almost very soon after we broke up through text, but the last time , i told him I didnt love him anymore, as I didnt want him to convince me again and i would go back again ..I felt very suffering and even angry, and insecure when he didnt response my texts or he didnt sent me text in the morning and before he sleeps….I would cry for hours and I couldn’t sleep well either, and I COULD NOT concentrate on my study either ( last year of PhD, time and focus is very important to me)

In order to have this guy tripping over himself to make you his girlfriend, you need to take the attention away from him and focus on yourself. Stop going out of your way to make him happy, don’t cancel plans just to spend time with him, and don’t always be so available to him. Catering to all of his needs will make you look like a pushover and a doormat, and no guy is attracted to that!


Lets Chat Love is striving to become the best relationship forum available, and we’re on a mission to provide teenagers, youngsters, adults and seniors a platform to help improve their love lives. The community is full of users from every ethnicity, gender and religion, from qualified relationship experts to your everyday person. Sign up today to talk about your issues and to seek guidance from other members, free of charge.
The trick is to actually do things that you like and to actually do something. That way you will put some distance between the two of you during times that you are not normally apart, benefit from expanding your talents, skills, or knowledge, and have something to show for it when you get back together. You will be able to fill your guy in on what you learned, what you did, and how much fun it was, which is much more exciting than the same old conversations you have day in and day out.
One important 'relationship advice for women' is that they should avoid being clingy and over possessive about their partner. One must understand that men need their space to meet their friends and do what they like, just like women do. They do not like to be called by their girlfriend or spouse every few hours to know where they are and what they are doing. You may do it as a gesture of love, but your man will think that you are trying to control him and if this happens regularly, it is likely that he will try to separate from you. Give him his much-needed space and he will surely be yours.
#7 Withdraw if they seem too hesitant. Not much will make a guy commit faster than the fear of losing you if they don’t. However, you can’t give them an ultimatum. Just simply stop talking as much if he starts showing you he’s not ready to commit. This might scare him into realizing how much you really mean to him. [Read: 15 ways to get a man to chase you and fall hard]
One of the best ways to make a guy miss you is to have fun without him. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but your guy wants to be the only thing that makes you happy. If you’re having fun without him (a girls’ night out, some really cool skydiving lessons, etc.), then he’s going to want to be part of the fun. Men like to be the ones to make you smile, and if you’re smiling without him he’ll notice and he’ll pay more attention.
Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men – so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important. The first problem you’re probably going through: if you’re already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
My ex and I have been through a lot. Everything has been amazing since day one. We recently suffered a miscarriage but he seems fine as we very supportive. I thought this was the man I was going to marry one day. However he recently met up with his ex fiancé. They have had a toxic on again off again relationship and he was the one who broke of their engagement for good. He met with here after 8 months of no contact to retrieve some important information she had of his. The meeting turned into her saying how sorry she is and she wants him to give her another chance and you know what he did….. no surprise broke up with me to give her another chance. They are no good for each other and everyone knows it. I don’t think it will last long. Do you think your methods will work in this situation and make him realize he made the wrong decision. I want him back not because I feel I need him but because I truly do love him
Does he seem like he has one foot out the door? Like he’s not fully invested? When you bring up the topic of where things are going, does he avoid the question or say he’s not ready to talk about it? This can feel like he’s pulling away, but think about it: maybe he’s not pulling away. Maybe he’s standing still and you’re pushing. It might feel the same to you, but there’s a difference.
Work and school are incredibly demanding, especially when you’re going full time. He may decide he needs to put more effort into his school work to get that degree he’s been going after for several years, or maybe he wants to spend extra hours in the office to earn the promotion. Whatever it is, he may be spending less and less time with you and focusing more on his work. If you can handle his excessive time NECESSARY to complete his goals, you’ll enjoy the benefit in the long run. But you have to remind yourself that this particular reason for pulling away has nothing to do with you- he simply needs to spend more time focusing on certain goals to help him in life.
I enjoy reading your articles. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year. We dated before 6 years ago and the reason we stopped dating is because he said I was pushing for something he wasn’t ready for. I didn’t realize I was pushing. He’s saying now like he said before, he doesn’t want a girlfriend right now, he’s too busy. But yet he’s still interested. He has said things to me like, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot and there’s nothing I can do about”, “We are more than just friends”, and then he pulls away again. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ride with him. He lives an hour away, we only text once a week or so, and only see each other every 2 or 3 months. We get frustrated with each and have arguments but still want to see each other so there’s something there. We are both Scorpios so I’ve been reading articles about 2 Scorpios being in a relationship and reading your articles. I’ve tried very hard not to seem “pushy” and realize the relationship is what it currently is. But how long do I have to wait for him to want to see me more? What should I say to him?
My so called boyfriend lived away from his home for 15 years. Since September he decided to come back home and create a new life here, which i get it’s not easy at all. Meanwhile we met 1 month ago and everything was going perfect we met every day and talked all the time when we weren’t together he even told me that I was helping him not to give up and get back where he used to live.

My ex and I were together for 8 months in a very happy and healthy relationship. We had honest and open communication, we barely argued, great sex, we had trust and supported each other and overall just adored each other. He treated me extremely well and we were grateful for each other, his family and friends loved me and vice versa. After spending the last 5 weeks straight of our relationship together, making many memories and going on dates etc, literally overnight he told me he didn’t want a relationship anymore. To this day I can’t understand why, I gave him everything and he kept telling me I did make him happy and I was perfect and this had nothing to do with me, he just didn’t want it anymore and he needed to “be selfish and work on himself”. There’s been no contact whatsoever now for almost 2 months, but I still think about him every single day and get upset no matter how hard I’m working on myself. He had all the space and time and respect from me in the world to work on himself while in a relationship I don’t understand why I wasn’t wanted all of a sudden. Does he think about me at all? I don’t think he’ll ever regret it but the thoughts are driving me literally insane …

Hey so I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year now. He’s into a hobby that is good for him because he’s sober. But the thing is is that he seems to be more interested in that than our relationship. Even when I leave him alone for hours he won’t really open or talk to me. I don’t ever pry at him because I don’t want to be annoying. We live together and live well together. We never fight and I’m very open with my stuff. It seems like he’s not interested though about those things. It’s not like I’m dumping problems on him at all, but sometimes it’s nice to vent to someone? I’m also on vacation and he told me that we don’t need to be in constant contact with each other and then won’t reply for hours, so I did just that I distant myself completely . It scares me though because he follows so many girls on social media and in the begging of our relationship he would direct message them nothing bad all platonic, but I talked to him and asked him to stop, but I’m scared that he might be getting that filled by talking to those girls again. All I want is to know how his day is or just to say hey without feeling like a bother. I don’t know what to do honestl. He does his best though I’m not saying it’s bad or anything but he’s so stubborn and when I’m upset about something he usually tells me it’s ok but that’s it he doesn’t really comfort comfort me but other times he tells me to bring it to god and brushes it off and goes on and on and on about his hobby he does. Disregarding anything I said or how I feel. Maybe I’m just reading into it all wrong but I don’t know. Should I not listen to him like he does to me? I communicate with him fairly well and tell him how when he ignores me it bothers me but he doesn’t change it. It seems like he doesn’t care. I don’t know. Help


When you’re in a relationship and things are going well, you want to know whether it has a future. You’ve probably been dating a while, but you’ve found yourself in a sticky conundrum. You want to push things forward, but you’re unsure if your guy wants the same. Some men aren’t ready for that level of commitment, and some men will never be ready. I’ve known women who have dated men for eight, even ten years, waiting and waiting for him to propose. Much to their disappointment, they find out that he enjoyed the current setup they have and doesn’t want things to change.
You can tell if you’re lacking empathy when you hear responses from your partner like:  “You’re always trying to fix things,“ or “I just want you to listen,” or “You just don’t understand.” Non-empathic behaviors make her feel like she’s alone, that you don’t understand her, or that she can’t rely on you to help her overcome issues. On the other hand, conveying true empathy makes her feel as if the two of you are in this together. You’re a unit, a team, and you can work through challenges together.
So many red flags! He seems abusive. For starters, he shouldn’t be calling you names and putting you down. And the fact that he dislikes your being independent and ought to be cleaning or cooking for him is so sexist, I can’t even… All this leads me to believe he will be physically and more emotionally abusive as time goes by. Run as far away as possible. I know it’s hard, but I don’t see your situation getting better. Stay safe.

This does not necessarily mean you are a boring person. It may just be that the two of you don’t have much in common and he’s noticed it sooner than you. There’s really not much you can do about that. If the two of you don’t have similar interests or you simply don’t jive, it’s probably best to stop the relationship before it gets any further. He could also become bored with you if the two of you tend to do the same things all the time, for instance: dinner date at the same restaurant every Wednesday, same conversations being repeated over and over again. If that is the case, try switching up your date ideas and finding new things to do and talk about with each other.

We spent that summer together inseperable after that. At the end of the summer he told me he loves me. In that moment I truly forgave him and saw that he had made the mistake out of fear, and open wounds from his last (and only) real relationship… I realized the poor guy had never even experienced true partnership and love… I was excited to show him how a real partnership can be, and how lovable he is.
Hi, I met this guy by chance in December and we fell deeply for each other all was going well, we were talking every day and seeing each other at least once a month. Then out of the blue he says it hurts too much when I leave and we should no longer see each other and be friends and see what happens when I move near him. I am out of the country at the moment but move back in 3 months time. I am devastated and as I’m now only away for a short period don’t understand it. He keep liking my Facebook as I’ve started to do th pimp up Facebook every one says to do, at first I did the emotional texts but even though it’s hard I don’t do that now. I keep getting texts from him saying sorry and also please do hate me…. I did respond to that saying I would never hate him as due to the distance I didn’t want him to think that. I just need some advice here as I feel we were the right people at the wrong time and will the no contact rule work in this situation. Thanks for your help
i dated this guy for two years and 3 month he knew my parent did not like him but he stayed and i did not know what i did to him but he never trsted me in the relationship his ex always message him telling him she loves him but when i look at his phone he gets angry the last time he told people we were not serious i broke p with him and he begged them we came back together after that we started stayed a while together and i told my mum about the guy i was dating she told me to break up with him and i told him and he accepted it . then i came back to tell him i do not want to be friends with him and he knew he did not want long term with me but he keeps coming to my house and he knows i love him and i keep having sex with him when i know he will hurt me and am just trying to forget him. he does not want a relationship with me.we have being broke up for 3 month and 1 week

Schedule a girls night out with your friends. Leave your man home by himself. Give him a hug and kiss, and then say “see you later.” Make him miss you — and show him that you’re not in a codependent relationship with him — that you have a social life, too. If he wants space, then give him space, while have a fun time with your friends outside of your relationship. When a man pulls away after being in a LTR for a while, sometimes it means he feels trapped or suffocated or obligated to you, or that he’s losing his freedom or sense of self because you’re now “all coupling all the time.” Immersing himself in work is a way for him to pull away from this codependence and gain a sense of self and independence. If you’re really worried, do an evaluation of your relationship — are you getting too clingy, needy, or do you want to do things with him 24/7 … are you having a codependent relationship? Is that the reason why your guy is pulling away? Sometimes, the issue may not just be his, but also yours.
On the flip side, some men will pull away just as much if their date strongly insists that they must pay their own share. As callous as this may sound, most of us have egos bigger than Mt. Kilimanjaro, yet are as fragile as a fly. Trying to assert dominance in this situation may make your date run away. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, I confess… we can be just as confusing to you, as women are to us.
So im a guy, and my gf of 2 years broke up with me. Im so in love with her that i would marry her if i could. Im 23, ahe is 21. The whole problem is that she is young and curious and i was her first everything…. now the hard part is that she wants to see how other people treat her, she met a giy at her job and they kissed and im broken up over it but i still love her all the same. We ended on really good terms and im happy she is just so honest with me. She has always been like that, she didnt want to hurt me in the relationship so she thought this was the best course. She loves me to death and she always tells me that she wishes she lived her life before she met me so we can be happy now. I believe her bc she has always told me this. Now its summer, school ended and she is going to mexico with her family for a whole month. I would love nothing more than to just be with her. Idk why but i have a this strong feeling we will get back together in the future. Ohhh and btw she said that i should live my life and not just wait around. She is so perfect and caring its hard to just let that go. Should i go the summer without talking with her? Everyone tells me to just leave her, but my heart and my mind knows what it wants. I wouldnt want another relationship or anything serious with anyone else unless it was with her. If you need any more info just ask. Thank you
Ok so my relationship with my ex was amazing! eveverything was good! I’m 28 and he’s 41! we met at work and we just connected immediately! my mom died 8 months ago and ever since then we have had a strain and it’s been a little hard but he knows what I’m going through because his mom also passed 10 years ago! my ex has never been the commitment type but he was with me for 3 years! even he said I am the only girl he’s ever loved and actually cared about! But then he wanted this break with me but was still contacting me and seeing me 3 times a week atleast! But then he cheated! he strayed and he always said he would! but it was just out of no where! he still says he loves me and maybe one day we can be together but we just need space! but I don’t get it cuz he still wants to talk to me and make sure I’m doing good! this break up had been really hard on me especially since my mom just died and he was the only one there for me! please help me I don’t know how to take control of this break up! He’s holding all the cards right now and I hate it!
Get a guy to commit by being loved by everyone around him. Get on the good side of his parents and friends. This will give him a well needed nudge to make him realize that you are a keeper. Moreover, if they like you, they’ll always be positive around you and spread that positivity onto him as well. They too will give him that nudge. He will love you even more if he sees that the people he loves, are impressed by you. This is one of the greatest goals you need to achieve if you are trying to get him to commit to a relationship. A relationship is only fair and successful if both of your lives are intertwined and fit in like each piece of the puzzle. That’s why you need to take some time to get to know his family and friends, as this will lead you to get to know more about him, and we all know how relatives and friends love to reveal little tid bits from his bachelor life. And we love to hear those, don’t we?

At some point, he will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to? The answer will determine whether the relationship deepens or ends. Do you know how a man decides a woman is girlfriend or wife material? Do you know what inspires a man to want to commit? If not, you need to read this article next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
I have a question, more than a comment. I’ve been dating this guy off and on for 4yrs it’s been really hard for him to find a job. He had asked me for some money to fix his car. I asked him to give me the name of exact part that was needed he asked why. I responded and said so I can look for it on line. He said no. Next day I said well whats the game plan, when will you get your car fixed? I suggested I’ll pick you up you can stay at my house, drop me off at work and you can get the part you need. He said no. Finally the next day he said his grandma will let him borrow the money but she expected it back the next day. Well I had agreed to give him the money to pay back, but after thinking about it I decided not to go along with it. Before letting him know I wasn’t willing to give him the money I had asked will you be staying tonight when you come get the money? He said no, but I will this weekend. That’s what drew the line, and I told him he’s either lying or had something else going on that he didn’t want me to know. After all this I was the bad person and he called me every name in the book. I did apologize for what I had done but that he was being very wishy washy and I didn’t understand was he was up too. I did let him know our relationship was over and it was beyond repair. My question is, how do you see this, was I wrong? Was he just using me?
Offer to take him out to dinner on your dime. Don’t mention your emotional melt down. He doesn’t want to hear it. Make yourself humble and be grateful that he even wants to spend time with you. If you show him genuine remorse and he see this you might have a chance as long as he thinks you will never do that again. Goodluck you’re going to need it.
My ex and I have been through a lot. Everything has been amazing since day one. We recently suffered a miscarriage but he seems fine as we very supportive. I thought this was the man I was going to marry one day. However he recently met up with his ex fiancé. They have had a toxic on again off again relationship and he was the one who broke of their engagement for good. He met with here after 8 months of no contact to retrieve some important information she had of his. The meeting turned into her saying how sorry she is and she wants him to give her another chance and you know what he did….. no surprise broke up with me to give her another chance. They are no good for each other and everyone knows it. I don’t think it will last long. Do you think your methods will work in this situation and make him realize he made the wrong decision. I want him back not because I feel I need him but because I truly do love him
Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to have to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing. Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.
×