hello! well i ve read this article and i want to share my story also. I met this guy online and we “clicked” immediately. we ‘ve been texting-videocalling all the time and he told me from the beginning he was looking for sth serious etc. He called all the time and texted A LOT. we werent in a relationship since we haven’t met yet but we promised to meet in 4 months from now. the thing is he became a lot more distant this week. he doesn’t call or text as often. dont get me wrong he still does but if he sent 20 messages a day now he sends 5 . maybe he got scared because i am kind of clingy sometimes but at the beginning he seemed to not bother at all. i like him so much and i am afraid he might bail on me . what should i do? as far as i know asking him is not a good idea right?
Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman. But if you and your partner feel like you're starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day -- i.e. the same lousy situations keep repeating day after day -- it's time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.
Practice your enthusiasm, take it up a notch, start getting excited about things! And wear happy colors too. Or you can take a look at this amazing book that literally changed my sex life upside down. Mind is man's most erogenous zone and if you learn how to make your boyfriend want you more, without even touching him, you will blow his mind and make him yours forever. This book will teach you just that even if you're shy, conservative and reserved. Believe me, you will turn into a wild seductress and you will know every secret fantasy that has ever crossed your man's mind.
How to make a man commit to you is a universal question that women across the globe have asked from the time of Adam and Eve. How to get a man to marry you after age 40 is the mystery that drives the female mind crazy. It doesn’t matter if you are 20 something looking for your perfect mate or 40 plus, getting into a committed relationship can be challenging.
In my personal life, I meet all sorts of people.  Some people are easy and fun to be around … I can spend hours with them, talking about things, laughing about things, and just genuinely enjoying their company. Being around them doesn’t require effort and I don’t want anything from them. I would have just as much fun driving in the car with them and chatting as I would doing something “exciting.”
I want to start off by saying thank you for adding a guys input Eric! My question is how do know if your inspiring him to be his best self and inspire him in his lifes mission if you dont know what that is? The guy im kind of seeing has only initiated deep conversation once and it was to ask what i thought about us. Am i supposed to ask him out right or am i supposed to try and figure it out all on my own?
Consider all points 1-9.  No relationship is exactly the same as another.  There could be varying elements of any of the 9 points listed above involved as well as other equally important aspects not yet discovered.  Your relationship is uniquely yours and requires love and commitment to last.  Therefore, instead of wondering why do men pull away after getting close step back and take a look at your relationship and review where the relationship started, what pulled you both together, and what ( if anything) has changed.

I might feel a bit regret for loving him that i feel heartbroken now..But whatever it is, the days we spent together was really one of the happiest moment in my life so i never regretted every moment of it. Bad news is, i find it hard to move on.. like seriously am i obsessed with him now? it feels like hopes are there you know, and its not giving up. i just wanted to talk to him. A single hey from him would make my year, but it seems like impossible. *sigh* life…

If you lay everything out on a silver platter for your guy, he will not feel the urge to ask you to be in a relationship. When it comes to committing, men are more likely to lock you down if they are intrigued by you. To do this, you need to be more mysterious. This means, don’t tell him everything right away. You need to learn how to hold back, and share bits and pieces of yourself slowly to keep him interested.
For some the search can be long and difficult, and for others it can be quick and easy. A lot of variables go into the length, ease, and success of that search, but the one thing that will boost your efforts is how well you present yourself. It’s imperative, especially early on, that you look your best every time we see you, at least for the first few months of the relationship. This is not men being vain or superficial. Unless your father is Bill Gates, how you look is the strongest magnet you possess. Your hair must be done, your nails neatly painted, and your clothes should highlight your assets and hide your liabilities. Loose sweats, uncombed hair pulled back under a baseball cap, and rundown Ugg boots are fine once the relationship is in high gear, but definitely a turn-off when at the beginning. In our minds, if you are not making the effort to look your best when we barely know each other, we dread the thought of what you’ll look like a couple of months into the relationship.
Two months ago I met a man. We were so attracted to each other that it all happened so fast, on the first date. He warned me that he didn’t want a relationship… I did my best to listen to his feelings, show understanding and get some intimacy and we eventually got close and started meeting every week. I was sleeping over at his house, we were having good time, having sex, doing normal things like cooking and spending the whole weekend together. I knew he had a very problematic past – a father who never married his mother or took any responsibility, a brother from another mother who caused him problems, personal problems with drugs in the past and two broken relationships with 1) bulimic anorexic girl and 2) a girl who cheated on him 10 months ago. I was so good to listen, give him the peace he needed and be very patient with him.
Use social media to highlight the fun you’re having independently. Start to post pictures and status updates about how much fun you’re having doing things on your own. This works very well when trying to get an ex to miss you. Show how much you’re enjoying life on your own, and your guy will be begging to hang out with you because he misses you so much. 

Answer: Just because dopamine is not being produced naturally, that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to create it. You have to turn on the heat sometimes to bring the magic back. A relationship takes work, especially in the sex department. Find ways to turn him on and he will be running back into your arms. [Read: 13 spicy sex positions to heat up your bedroom romps]
If someone cheats on you, speaks poorly of you, disrespects you, or makes you feel crazy, inadequate, or unloved, they do not deserve to have your love or attention. There are so many other people and opportunities for you to find joy and happiness in this world. You portray madness when trying to put a square peg in to a circular hole and similarly you don’t need to keep hammering away at a broken relationship. Seek positive relationships instead. Good luck…
So change what you can to be sexier and more physically alluring and appealing. Spend more time at the gym, eat healthier, learn how to apply makeup to enhance your best features, train your voice to be pleasant and seductive (tape recording yourself works wonders), master attractive body language and facial expressions, dress to flatter your figure, you get the point.  And that which you can’t change… own it.

The good news is not only is this common—but there’s a way to handle this tricky situation effectively. After all, when you first enter a relationship, there’s sure to be plenty of new boyfriend advice from your friends, your family and your co-workers. But of all of these words of wisdom, the one you want to take the most seriously are the tactics that stop a man from withdrawing from your relationship. How come? As experts explain, sometimes the way a woman communicates her feelings to her partner may make him distance himself even more.


Sound familiar? If yes, then you need to stop interrupting him and start listening. We all aren’t always in the mood for listening someone, and find our stories more interesting. However, what he tells you about childhood, work, friends and coworkers speaks a lot about him. You can easily conclude who he is deep within. Instead of interrupting and talking about yourself you can ask him if he would like to have a dog in the future.


During the courting process we’ve been conditioned to believe that men should be providers and women are caregivers and nurturers. This division of labour between the sexes has become a staple in nearly every walk of life, most notably, during the courting process. Despite society’s attempts to abolish traditional gender roles, many men still feel more inclined to “foot the bill;” as it is still considered a good gesture, and does nothing but increase our chances of being in your good book.


If you want this guy to be your boyfriend, you have to make him think that being in a relationship was all his idea. So remove all the pressure and stop stressing him out with your constant talks about being committed to each other. Soon enough, being with you will be the only thing on his mind, and he won’t even hesitant letting you know that he’s ready for a relationship.
Very long story, but I could really use somebody’s advice. About a month ago, my 2 year relationship ended with the love of my life. I still can’t type that without crying. We were both madly in love with each other and very passionate, and the passion went both ways. I did a poor job of leaving no doubt for him to know how much I loved him, which lead to various problems. I never ever cheated on him or went behind his back, but there were stupid lies throughout that ultimately became too much for him to deal with. He lost trust in me the past 6 months, even though I knew that in those past months were whenever I was the most trusting. But I always understood why he couldn’t. Anyway, we fought all the time and our lives were miserable, still loving each other immensely. So he decided he needs to get his life back on track and he can’t do that being with me. I begged for a few days because I was so devastated, but I turned that around. Over the past couple of weeks, I have had to see him (the whole story is explained on another thread I posted, but long story short – he has two children who I watch once a week) so I’ve seen him several times. We’ve been intimate each time except this past week. We haven’t spoken much via text message, but he seems to want to know what I’ve been up to, but then he’ll go a while without texting me. This past weekend, I was at his son’s birthday party, and things seemed to be like they used to be (another tidbit of information – he is much older than me, and our relationship has been kept private from everybody except our closest friends) so everyone at the birthday party (his mother knows so everyone besides her) does not know about us. But he would joke with me, tease me, etc. like he used to, which is what lead to our closest friends finding out about us before we decided to tell them ourselves. However, I’ve become incredibly anxious and worried about what he’s been doing. His life before me consisted of having really good friends, women included but only as friends (and I never once doubted that), and he would typically hang out at bars every other weekend, but he totally stopped that after the first few months of us being together. But a week ago, he told me how his best friend (who knows about us) was inviting him to go to some cabin over the weekend which is just a big drinking fest, but it didn’t work out so it’s at his house instead. His best friend, by the way, has twin 1 1/2 year olds and a wife (who he isn’t completely faithful to). So I know that his wife was probably there which means that other women were not.

2. Freedom. Many men desire to feel free not to be boxed in by questions like "What are we doing this weekend?" or "Why didn't you call?" If they do not answer phone messages, texts, or emails right away, it may be that they feel they should be exempt. Women facing this response may need to decide whether they will accept it or decide that a partner is no longer worth the effort.


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my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me and he said his tired of all the fighting and his reached his breaking point. yes his years we’ve been fighting a lot and it was also wearing me out but I always told myself that I would fight for the relationship and thought all the fighting were probably tests to see how strong our relationship is. I begged him and told him I’ll do anything to make him happy and try to minimize the fighting, he wasn’t interested. its been a month since we broke up and o last spoke to him two weeks back and he said I should move on then said he needs time with no communication, he even removed all our pictures from his social media. I love him and he genuinely loved me. he told me that he has never had a gal that loved him like I did and he doubt he’ll ever find her but his not sure if he still wants to be with me, his heart wants me but his mind doesn’t. please advise

Leave him alone. I’ve been there believe me. It hurts and sometimes you can’t help yourself but you need to let go. You deserve a man that wants to be with you. Don’t force it. Do things that make you happy. Something new. Run a marathon, take a self defence course or do something you always wanted to do. You will find a perfectly good man that loves and wants to be with you when you least expect it.
My boyfriend broke up with me 7 days ago. I asked him to not do so and that we can work things out but he said that he doesn’t think that can happen now. I cried in the middle of the convo only to hear him say that my tears aren’t doing anything to him and that he’s become heartless. So the day after I made a huge mistake and asked back for some money that I gave him to buy something for me but he had lost it. That time I obviously didn’t mind him losing that money and neither now bt I was angry and just and insulted so I ended up asking for it. He said that you’ve shown who you actually are with this and that at breaking up with you was a very right decision. Now look I’m not that person okay , I was just hurt and angry and acted instantly. I said I didn’t want it and requested him to not talk about it again for atleast the sake of our good times. He found a job (was looking for it for a long time) so I congratulated him for that to which he didn’t reply. Fast forward 2 days I asked him when he got the job ( to see if it was before or after we broke up, because we hadn’t been talking properly for a week before the brk up). He told me to get lost and called me idiot. I told him to talk properly since he wasn’t my bf anymore (sometimes hr would say things like shut up and get lost during the relationship too but I nvr said anything to him). So I said that’s it’s actually a good thing that we broke up since we weren’t happy and that we should respect that decision because all this insulting each other is really cheap. He didn’t reply to this. This happened 4 days after the break up. Now it’s been 7 days and I miss him like crazy. Other than the last month of 5.5, everything was grt. Out of these 5.5 months 3 were long distance. We did fight alot I must say but it all boiled down to us being really in love and getting things back to normal. But I guess he got tired of it and just gave up. I really want him back because I love him so much and u can’t get over the fact that we were so happy initially and just 10 days before the brk up was my b’day when he was the one to talk about our future and make me feel loved. So the question’s here. He’s coming to my city on the 15th-16th of this month. I’ll be in serious no contact with him till then and since there’s a wedding around 13th so I’m thinking to put up really hot pictures of me in my whatsapp status. So during the time of his visit to my city should I try to contact him and tell him to meet me up and discuss things out. I’ll make it clear that I’m not expecting only positive out if it but just want a discussion. Or should I extend our no contact (risky coz we’re in long distance and I don’t want him to forget me entirely). I don’t even know if he will ever come back here coz this is his last semester and now he also has a job there. Important to mention he always said things will be fine once he gets a job but I think we broke up just a day before he actually got one.

There's a fine line between playing a little hard to get and acting totally indifferent. When you're out to dinner, make sure not to constantly check your phone or dart your eyes around the room. It's dating 101, but show you're interested in what they have to say and ask about their life. "People appreciate and want to be with someone who makes them feel amazing," Trespicio says. "If you rock their world and they love being with you, why would they ever want to be with anyone else?"
Im currently dating a black guy for 4months! I love him dearly. In the beginning we couldn’t get enough of each other! but lately when I phone he don’t pick up the phone and phones later on. I remember he didn’t have a car so that was his excuse when he didn’t show, but now he has a car, now his excuse is that his business is booming! and cant drop the clients. Weekends I don’t see him then its his buzzy time – and if I see him its only for 20minutes . We don’t have time together. I know in his culture the men don’t see the women but why does our relationship only come from one side and its me that doing all the effort! I really don’t know where we stand!
It’s easier to do charming gestures for a guy when you’re actively in a relationship with him. Making him coffee before he wakes up for work or secretly sliding a note in his lunch are endearing acts of kindness. Once you know a man well, it’s not as challenging to think up these moves. You know what he would find most adorable and you can use that your advantage.
People I have told this to have told me to just forget about him, that he wasn’t even real, but I don’t believe that and I am having a hard time just letting it go. I know we had a special connection, and there is a part of me that is still holding on and hoping there is a chance down the road for us to at least be friends, but I am afraid I completely ruined it. I was wrong for how I acted but he also did ghost and bail on me, so my question is – do I reach out to him again and acknowledge that I f**d up with my crazy behavior?? Do I try to make it right? Or do I give it more time and then try? Or do I wait for him? Part of me feels like I may never hear from him again if I don’t reach out, but the other part of me thinks that he knows that I feel horrible and I shouldn’t reach out to him because it still hasn’t been enough time.
I feel like a guy is into me if he calls or texts something immediately after the first date. If we say goodbye and I don’t hear anything then I figure he had liked me but he didn’t like me that much! I almost always have good dates but one of us doesn’t feel a spark. So when we both agree to a second date, I feel more excited if the guy texts or calls me the next day. Nothing major just something to show me he’s thinking of me. I never ask a guy to be exclusive with me. I keep dating until he asks to be exclusive and I try to hold back from seeing him everyday until he starts showing me I matter. For me, I like a “good morning” text or a call on the drive to work. It feels warmer and connected, especially it we aren’t going to see each other that day or the next. Otherwise it constantly feels like we are starting over and the engine is cold 🙂 Ex: I just ended it with a guy I was really attracted to, he had a great job, told me I was beautiful a few times, was affectionate in public, made the effort to plan dates but then the day after the date ….nothing. Then a call the following day”Hi, just checking in”. I was so turned off I didn’t want to call back. I called and his phone dimeanor was so matter of fact. So we had a long conversation and at the end he asked if I wanted to see him again but he didn’t commit to a day! The next day -zip, nada, no call or text. Then he called again “Hi, just checking in”…What am I ? His boss? So I texted “Do you want to see me circle “yes” or ” no ” and please let me know a few days you are free before I commit to some weekend plans. He sends a cute graphic and circles “yes” but doesnt answer the question of days he is available then I don’t hear from him for another day. He calls late evening and leaves another lame message. So I figure that the reason he is “hot” and affectionate when we are together but then cold and dismissive when we are not together is that he “is not that into me” and probably juggling other women. So I text “that I dont feel a warm connection, so we should not continue” If I am wrong (which I doubt) he just needed to text or call me with the same enthusiasm and warmth he had in person. If he did, I would be excited to see him and continue.
I always end up missing my boyfriend, we see each other at school but when we depart, especially on the weekends, I always end up missing him, I always would end up spam messaging him unintentionally and constantly messaging him since he's always busy and we rarely text often. I'll learn not to do that anymore, I also taught myself to stop thinking of him constantly to where it would stop me from doing my work. All I know is that I will see him again and he will text me back soon... I do love him, but I have to try keeping it healthy for us.
So now that we know what the reasons might be, it's easier to understand how to react or, more importantly, how not to react. After careful observation of love and dating, this is what I know to be true: Convincing a man to love you will never work. Trying to persuade him to see how great you are together is pointless. Sharing your feelings with the hopes he will realize how much he means to you will also get you nowhere.

My boyfriend broke up with me last week after being together just over a year. Said I’m to negative for him and that he was unhappy for the last 8 weeks. Prior to the break was our year anniversary and in the card he wrote ‘can’t air for many more’. He’s told me himself he can’t fault the relationship except I was negative about life. I recognise this now and have also been referrrd for CBT therapy to help with this. He came and saw me the following day to talk. Said he didn’t know what to do with me and that I needed to be less stressed and chill out more. Live for the now and not the future. We had a long cuddle I n bed it felt amazing especially after the heartache the day before. when he left and text when he got home he said I don’t want to lead you on or confuse you but I need to sorry my head out and you need to sort yourself out. Take each day as it comes. Friday came and we had a chat and he said he feels we may of got together to quick as he never intended being with me but things happened and I made him happy. He told me it was 4 weeks he had been unhappy for not 8 as initially said. He said he isn’t wanting to be with anyone atm but still needs his space and if I want to message him I can. We follow each other on social media still and fb says still in a relationship. I know he’s really stressed with not having any work atm and his mum even said that too and said she has her fingers crossed it works out for us. I’m so hurt and confused by it all. It’s now the fourth day since we last spoke and I just want to message him and call him to tell him the positive steps I’ve taken since. We have a concert in July that he says we need to sort the tickets for and I said I still wanted to go with him and said okay. Not sure what to do but everyday I want to just message or call him
if you only tell him you miss him, that will not complicate things at all. in a relationship, you gotta be open and transparent. if you love him, tell him. if you miss him, tell him. don’t wait for him to say it first just because you’re too afraid he won’t say it back. you are telling him because you feel that way and not because you want to feel good about yourself.

So I m a gay guy who is in love with of course another guy. we were doing so good and things happened and then he broke up with me. no, he never did ask for space. he told me that he had fallen for someone else and he was happy. ofcouse I chased him around begging to take me back and reminded him of how much I love him. oh and he lived in a different country, we met on social media. I flew over to see him. since then I have flown multiple times to see him because he asked me to go see him. he says he doesn’t want to loose me but does not seem to want to talk to me. when I call him. he does not pick up. sometime he talks to me. but most of the time. I believe he just ignores me. I don’t know what to do….. the sad part is I am madly in love with him… do I just not contact him at all? why does ppl that actually love gets hurt all the time. I don’t think I have ever been treated special by any of my partner except for him. he was so sweet to me. I guess the distance got the best of us. but is it really over? I don’t understand it. and I am sorry, if I am offending other readers. I have no where to go or talk to but to ask for help here. thank you for reading.
Sexting can be a risky move, and sending explicit picture of yourself via text message is a risk best left unexplored in many cases. If you want to be romantic and sexy at the same time, you could try sending a message that lets him know how much you miss him and hints at how much you want him. For instance, try something like, “Just thinking about our last night together...” or “Looking forward to our next night together...”
Work and school are incredibly demanding, especially when you’re going full time. He may decide he needs to put more effort into his school work to get that degree he’s been going after for several years, or maybe he wants to spend extra hours in the office to earn the promotion. Whatever it is, he may be spending less and less time with you and focusing more on his work. If you can handle his excessive time NECESSARY to complete his goals, you’ll enjoy the benefit in the long run. But you have to remind yourself that this particular reason for pulling away has nothing to do with you- he simply needs to spend more time focusing on certain goals to help him in life.
Had a break up of after about 6 years. Nothing horrible just was because of stress and no communication. He was amazing though. He broke up with me and the whole time it seemed I was the one trying to fix things. Suggest options to help us. Basically it didn’t work I was even more sad trying and him not . We kept trying a few things here and there but it didn’t work. It’s just he never suggested anything so idk maybe he really didn’t know. But we eventually ended it all 100%. I’d been trying to have fun not worry or stress and be a better me than I was. Fix things and be happy worry about me. I have met some new friends too buts it’s just friends. If I had a picture of a guys friend on social media with me is that bad? I was not trying to do anything wrong or cause any upset I was just having fun is all, it was just a goofy picture that has an inside story of how I’m ditzy. Hahaa that is all. I’m just making friends and having fun. But is that something I shouldn’t have done? If it was vice versa I’d be upset and wonder but I’d try to not assume something I don’t know unless there are more pictures of that person or it looked like they were together.
Natalie, I have just seen your text, I am not sure how it went since December but the best to do in this case (always), I know that it`s really hard, because you can`t focus on something else but him. You have to disappear, so he will release you are not taken for granted to him. Men can say anything but they get crazy about when the women is doing the same thing or even worst :). He has too feel that he missing you, and beside that focus on your own life and on yourself, the happiness should come from yourself and not from him or any other person. Just step back and see what happens, he will be eager to be the same as before believe me ;) and success!
I met this guy online 3 months ago. We were texting each other continuously for 1 month before we actually meet. He is not boring and really fun to talk to and we have some similarities. The first time we met is on a club. He has 2 guys with him and I have one girl by my side. It was cool but I left early because I have work the following day. He then asked me to go out in a club, i said no because i have an event to attend, but I invited him on my birthday party. It was fun and that’s the first time we kissed. The next day we went out on a restaurant with his guy friend and everything was going so fine. then he left for work at a 160km town away from my city. We still communicate and now he asked me to go to that town with him. At first i said no, but then I go on with my girl friend coz she wants me to happy… we had an amazing weekend at his town. I stayed in his house. We drink, had moments together and even asked me why im shy around him. We kissed and acted like a couple. He talked about his family and his life, goals. At this moment we are very close but we are not talking about being together. I dont want to ask him coz i dont want him to feel pressured..
You have given the best advice that I have ever read from any article or book out there and trust I have read MANY. I see where I have been going wrong with my relationships and I see that I am putting too much of what I want them to be for me in it. I see where my negative thoughts have failed me and how I can go about changing me to be a better me for a relationship. Your views are so on point and I completely understand exactly where you are coming from. I will continue to read and reread your advice until I get myself where I need to be physically and emotionally. I definitely dont live in the moment with the man I have been with and I have gotten the I dont want a relationship thing from him but I definitely see where I went wrong because this man was interested in me from the beginning and he is still here. So I see where I went wrong. I see where I need to change just from reading your articles. I am seeing clearly. Now just to adjust my behavior and actions. I believe I will see a change in him. You cant expect people to change if you dont change yourself first… Thanks for all the great advice :)
Wallah awesome advices I’ve been with my guy more than a year now even f we r in different culture he always telling me it doesn’t matter and when I answered ur quizzes it just like a test paper also been told by my guy for me ur ryt it’s about inner self must know not just bcz d eyes want to see…and I’m satisfied and happy with my friends guy bcz he is God fearing and teach me lot more of faith values which really was a different from my culture..ALLAH bless U Eric may U continue help people who r in need of advices regarding love and the likes….
As much flack as classic romantic comedies receive for being unrealistic, some of their messages ring loud and true when explaining why men pull away. More often than not, experts explain most men withdraw for one of three reasons: they’re lost interest because he doesn’t see a future for your twosome, he’s afraid of becoming too vulnerable with you, or he feels rushed to commit to a more serious union.

My boy friend broke up with me I was needy and upset but calmed down he went out of state to work. It when he came back in town he stayed with me and we had sex it was rumored that he may be trying to date other women but when I asked him and said no problem be truthful he denies having any involvement with any one else . In 2 weeks I’m flying up to stay with him for a long weekend he seems excited but made I made a comment that I would not have sex with him if he was dating other women and that I had feelings for him and was not his friend . He in return said that he didn’t want to date anybody I’m assuming that includes me but then acted jealous when I made a comment about an actor on tv and expressed how i didn’t let him covey his feelings in our relationship. I love him and would like to rekindle things what do you think
Everyone has their own opinions of what should and shouldn't be done in a relationship, but not everyone can afford professional counselling to solve their relationship issues and rely on sorting it out themselves. The only issue here is that everyone is worried about reaching out to their families and friends for support on their issues, and they tend to not get them resolved resulting in the relationship ending.
Another ways to make my boyfriend miss me and want to see me is to do what he likes. Every guy has a thing that he really likes from his girlfriend. For instance, maybe he likes a certain way you dress or tie your hair. When you meet or see him, do those things that he really likes from you. When he remembers these little moments, he will miss you.
Last thing he remembers was that he was talking to a good friend which happens to be you.  Suddenly there are feelings arising that moving beyond simple friendship.  These may be feelings that he was not anticipating exploring and not ready for.  In this case the answer to “why do men pull away after getting close” would be in-order to take an assessment of the entire relationship and decide what to do about these new found feelings.
This particular relationship advice is for women exclusively. Big mistake women make is thinking that their man can read their thoughts and should “just know” when they are angry, hungry, tired or upset about something that happened at work.  Even the most intuitive man cannot know what’s inside your head.  Use your communication skills to express your feelings.  It will make everything easier and you won’t end up harboring resentment because your man had no idea you wanted him to pick up pasta for dinner instead of pizza.  
I met a guy on a website some while ago, we met and it went great – was long distance. After a year, i didnt hear from him. Fast forward to last year September, i heard from him out of the blue, we chatted again for almost 2 months. We were to meet somewhere, but he didnt answer me back with a time. Was i being messed with? ( he ‘s very busy with his work, 1 kid at school). Should i just forget about him?

Sometimes, it’s not about what he wants but what he doesn’t want. Maybe he’s not sure about committing to you. But what if he’s sure of not wanting you to commit to someone else? Make use of that fear of his. Casually drop this bomb in conversations that you have, you know, like how you’re tired of immature boys in your life who don’t want to commit, and how X (a friend of your friend’s) likes you. Let him connect the dots and then watch fear creep into his eyes. That’s one spectacular way on how to get him to commit!

If you spend all your time apart from him with your phone in your clenched fingers, waiting for it to vibrate with his name, put the phone down. This isn’t ideal for either of you. Of course, you love talking to him, but you have to leave some energy for the rest of your life. Don’t be half-invested in a conversation with your friend because you’ve got one eye on the phone.


Simply, wear your signature scent whenever you meet your boyfriend so that slowly he will start recognizing you with that smell. As much as possible, use the top quality brand of perfume, shampoo, or lotion. Just imagine yourself resting on his shoulder or chest, and leaving behind your beautiful scent on his body, this will leave him thinking about you every time he smells something even faintly similar.
I broke up the day before valantine day he wasn’t affectionate and he pushed me away he was with his ex four years she cheated on him twice he met me six month into his break up we talked about me not beinga rebound got into a relationship then he was seeing his step daughters who wanted him to get back with his ex we were having problems because he was pulling away and he said he was still raw over his ex s of I said let’s have some space I was really raw I have gave him chances for him to go back I’d she who he wants inmin love with him and tempted to msg him as I haven’t heard from him it’s nearly a month we were together 6 months
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#4 He is attracted to someone else. If nothing happened and he is suddenly pulling away, then it may be that he is attracted to someone else. If he is thinking about being with another woman, he may be trying to find a way out of the relationship. If you notice that his habits are changing, he is no longer interested in sex, or if he becomes more secretive and rarely spends time with you, then he may have found someone else.
It started with a fwb situation (about a year ago ) and a few months back he started asking for more . We see each other about once a week. He has two jobs and has his child every weekend so fitting in time is tough . Things have been going well and escalating . Lately we have been communicating at least once , if not several, times a day. We saw each other 5 days ago and I haven’t heard anything from him …I did send him 2 short but sweet (no pressure ) text messages telling him I was thinking of him. He has read both but not responded . When we were together last we had a great time per usual. He said he loved me for the first time (and in messages earlier in the day he told me he was only seeing me ) . He had started the 2nd job this week and looked exhausted when I saw him .do you think he could just be stressed or did he freak himself out by telling me how he felt. Or does it sound like he’s backing out ,Five days is a long time for him .
If you still communicate with your ex-boyfriend, you have many opportunities to make him miss you! Whether the two of you chat on the phone or exchange text messages every few days, in order to make him miss you, you need to tell him just how fabulous your day has been! After a break up, guys expect you to crawl into a hole and cry your eyes out for the next few months. But even if you’re feeling like your world is falling apart, you have to give the impression that everything is going awesome in your world. You should be happy and always telling him about the positive things that are going on in your life. Since you’re not acting the way a typical girl would act after the end of a relationship, it will draw him closer to you. Your spunky and upbeat attitude will remind him just how much fun you are, and he will be dying to be a part of your life once again.
If you’re still stuck in feeling needy and out of control, you’re not going to see the necessity of bringing that value to the relationship because you’ll still be fixated on your own worries, your fears, your insecurities. And with that fixation, you won’t be able to put energy into the relationship, you’ll have wasted all your energy needlessly worrying about stuff.
Erika, thank you for that. After a 13 year horrible marriage and another 2 year relationship, I felt broken. I am seeing a guy who has been through something similar. He has told me he has a hard time expressing feelings. Now, he is pulling a way a little. I feel depressed, as if I am not good enough. But your response, helps me to realize: Slow is good and he and I both need time. When we are together, things are fantastic. I will give it time and see what happens.

4. Appreciation. Men really do want to be respected and appreciated. For many, this may mean that they need a lot of stroking. Their partners should be aware that praise and gratitude work wonders, emotionally and physically—as long as it's truthful. And along with the truth, men want partners to tell them what they want, as a perception of nagging makes them feel unappreciated.

Once you’re in a relationship, this part is especially crucial. Part of the learning curve of a new relationship is figuring out how much alone time each person needs. In most cases, there’s always going to be one person who needs more alone time than the other. Don’t take it personally if he’s the one that needs more introverted unwind time than you do.

Advice from a male perspective anyone? I am dating a man who is 11 years older, I’m 26 and he is 37. He works out in the ocean and a lot of times we have minimal conversation via text/call. But when we are together everything is great and we get along very well. When he doesn’t have to wake in the wee ours or work out of town, he is with me every single weekend. We have been together six months and I have met all his close friends and friends kids. I have done well so far in respecting his space and he respects mine also. When he’s a weekend away with his guy friends, I am understanding and just ask him to contact me once when he is back in town so he feels he is not missing out on what he loves. However, this past weekend he had a sailboat race on the weekend which he let me know in advance and we made had plans for friday night. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. I was emotionally unstable that weekend due to some work stress and family leaving so I needed him the most that friday. I did not think of my actions and instead of politely rescheduling for Monday, I blew him up – sent him various texts showing how I did not appreciate he canceled although it wasn’t his fault. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. On Sunday I was so desperate that I passed by his house. His roommate was there and told me he hand’t come home yet. Since I blew him up friday, I have had no response to any of my texts nor has he answered any of my calls. I am very afraid that I scared him away and threatened his freedom. I also came out as desperate for going to his place. Today is Wednesday and I hadn’t reached out till Sunday. I sent him a very short/casual text today apologizing for taking out my stress on him and for not letting him have his space, to which I got no response. I am going to wait a few days and hopefully he will come around, as our relationship has matured and he’s told me how much he cares for me. Did I blow this up completely since it has been 4 days with no response?
Answer: Just because dopamine is not being produced naturally, that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to create it. You have to turn on the heat sometimes to bring the magic back. A relationship takes work, especially in the sex department. Find ways to turn him on and he will be running back into your arms. [Read: 13 spicy sex positions to heat up your bedroom romps]
If you want your man to love you more, you should make a point of showing him daily with random acts of kindness, just make sure they are specific. So if he loves grilled cheese sandwiches, make sure you cook that up for lunch. Perhaps he’s a movie buff so grab him a few passes to the theater. If he always has dry lips, make sure he’s got Chapstick in his pockets when he needs it. And if he loves to have the boys over for hockey, you should make plans on the hockey nights and let him know he should invite them over to hang out.
This one is tough, but assuming you have mastered listening skills you can certainly do this. We need support, friendly advice and someone who will understand us. When he has a problem, don’t start telling him what he should have done or telling him he is the one to be blamed. Listen, cheer him up a bit and just be there for him. Next time when he has a problem or is sad, he will look for you to help him go through that.
While it may be easier for you to be vague with your partner, not open up to this person about your past, and keep yourself from feeling vulnerable, being able to have mutual trust with your partner is absolutely imperative in a relationship. When you're reliable, can count on each other, and have each other's best interests at heart, you're laying the groundwork for a meaningful and long-lasting connection.
Many relationship experts swear by the No Contact rule when it comes to making an ex miss you, so it’s definitely worth giving it a shot! The rule is plain and simple: you cut off your ex for a certain amount of time, one to two months is the minimum. You send him a text message or an email letting him know you have a lot on your mind, and you’ll be reaching out to him when you’re ready. As soon as you fire off that message, all communication with your ex must cease. Even if he calls you back-to-back ten times in a row, and blows up your inbox with messages, you have to refrain from giving in and replying to him. The No Contact rule has a double purpose: it can either help you move on from the relationship, or it will make your ex miss you so much, he’ll be dying to get back together as soon as the no contact timeframe is over.

Eric I wanted to say thank you! All of your articles remind everyone of what is really important about life and happiness! I realize that it is time to stop chasing ones that don’t want to be chased by me! I know I have a lot to offer but I am excited to say I am not scared to be alone I love my life, my friends! I love this article because it just helps remind me that I don’t want a guy that brings out the crazy if he likes my vibe and we click I am not gonna worry cuz he will want more! If it changes stop worrying or trying because you don’t want to work on something that is onesided! You have opened my eyes to see that if I can’t see my worth and value how can I expect anyone else! So keep writing your honest and inspiring pieces! I am so excited about my future and all the adventures this year could bring! Xoxoxo
There may be something missing from your relationship that means you two aren’t communicating properly and feelings aren’t getting exchanged as they used too. Taking some time to refocus your energy back on the relationship and remember why you two got together in the first place is a huge way you can make him miss you. Send old photos of the best memories you two have together or just organize something that you both can do. Spend some time rekindling and being together when you can. Then when you both go and separate again he will miss you and the time he’s spent with you. It’s not always possible to be together but if it is then you should try.
I’ve been seeing a guy for about six months now. Everything in the relationship is great- we get along, we have fun together, we just get each other. The only thing is he won’t commit to me. He said he wasn’t hooking up with anyone else, only me, but he’s not ready to use titles.  I know his last relationship ended badly, so that might be part of it. I just don’t get it, the relationship is so great in every way aside from this.
My boyfriend and me are in a long distance relationship. We just spent a week together after 6 months and I cant stop crying now that hes gone. We cried together before he left back for america too. Love is hard but hes worth all of this. Going to throw myself into a part time job over the summer so I dont spend my time missing him. And at the same time, earn money to go and see him too. People should do it
This whole post really does make me think. Perhaps we have been conditioned to think that giving our partner space is the appropriate way to act? And, in a lot of cases it does cause the relationship to become somewhat stable again. But, I honestly think that if someone asks for space, or “changes”by contacting you less, it is a sign that they are an emotionally unstable person, who will only break you by making you feel paranoid.
Sometimes, it’s not about what he wants but what he doesn’t want. Maybe he’s not sure about committing to you. But what if he’s sure of not wanting you to commit to someone else? Make use of that fear of his. Casually drop this bomb in conversations that you have, you know, like how you’re tired of immature boys in your life who don’t want to commit, and how X (a friend of your friend’s) likes you. Let him connect the dots and then watch fear creep into his eyes. That’s one spectacular way on how to get him to commit!
You deserve better.. don’t contact him, it’s desperate… I know it’s hard, but respect and love yourself. Take it from a girl who took 13 years to get out. He doesn’t respect you nor your relationship .. he has control, knows you’ll be there should he want to return. Please, take time to really determine if you want to spend life with someone who breaks up with you every few months? Hits on other girls? Hangs up on you? He isn’t invested in the dynamic.. don’t give more than you receive.
I started a relationship slow with this guy. We fell in love said we were everything to one another. He just started a new job and his ex started giving him his kids all the time. He also takes classes a couple nights a week busy schedule. He informed me his kids come first period. Anyway he was having issues getting transportation so I helped consign for a car which he’s making the payments on. This was three weeks ago.. I saw him last night because he dropped me money for the car. Which I should of never did already know. He proceeds to tell me that he doesn’t have time for a relationship yet he loves me and cares about me. From three weeks ago to talking about having kids w me to now he has no time for me. I do know his schedule and it’s crazy. So he texted me last night to check on me and I lied said I was out and he goes checking on you. I said Thanks im fine. He then tells me gn and love ya not love you like he normally does. This morning he texts me again good morning hope you have a great day taking the girls to a b day party. Keep in mind been seeing him three months haven’t met his kids. Then around noon he texts me hope you having a great day. I haven’t replied to him at all. He said last night let thing settle for him if we are both single still then we can try again. Yet he’s telling me about his day and I have a damn car payment he Will be dropping off once a week that I don’t know how to handle if I do no contact. I feel lied to and used st this point. I am doing the no contact rule but unfortunately a little hard when hes going to drop off payments to me and we have to correspond bc of the car. What do
All these women saying “thank you for the tips” and tolerating being turned on and off at guy’s whims just because “they are like that”, “they need space” “they need to deal with one thing at a time”. Come on!! We deserve better than that. We deserve a mature person next to us, not a whimsical child-man that from his enormous ego (like many kids have) can’t see how their actions impact on those who love him and care about him.
Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now he used to be like the best thing ever made be feel loved like never before. But of recent he got in to medical school and it started stressing him out and he started giving me less attention and I was actually going through a lot during this period and he was so busy that he wasn’t giving me attention so I started complaining and fighting with him a lot and asking for more attention but eventually he started avoiding me and every time I am with him and his not doing what I want I would start crying and I could feel him drifting away more and more then I spoke to him one night and he said he was indifferent about the relationship and wants us to be friends I cried so much and begged him for a second chance he actually really cares for me this Part I know out of pity he gave me a second chance then a few days ago he sent a random text saying his sorry he ever hurt me and he loves me so much but he still doesn’t call or text me much it hurts cause I really love him and I don’t want to loose i just need advice on what to do because all I want to do is talk to him every time but I don’t want to chock him and if his online and doesn’t text me I start to feel like he doesn’t want to talk to me the thing is how do i give him space and still make him love me as much as he used to
Practice your enthusiasm, take it up a notch, start getting excited about things! And wear happy colors too. Or you can take a look at this amazing book that literally changed my sex life upside down. Mind is man's most erogenous zone and if you learn how to make your boyfriend want you more, without even touching him, you will blow his mind and make him yours forever. This book will teach you just that even if you're shy, conservative and reserved. Believe me, you will turn into a wild seductress and you will know every secret fantasy that has ever crossed your man's mind.
You may want to have a unique scent for your date nights and one for your holidays, or you may want to have a unique scent for when you get busy in the bedroom. That scent can be lightly sprayed on something when you are gone, and if he catches a whiff of it, you will be the first thing to enter his mind. The more he associates that scent with good times, the more he will miss you.
Wow, the anger. No wonder you may be having relationship issues. It has nothing to do with lying or hiding true feelings. It’s about letting a guy have his space. If you come after me saying how horrible I am etc. etc. I will NEVER want to see you again. Nobody likes that kind of women, and no man wants to date his mother. Also pulling away is not “bad behavior.” Would you rather he spend time with you but verbally and physically abuse you? Bad behavior is if the guy is rude and abusive and mean, etc. Pulling away is a man’s way of saying “Look, I like you a lot, but I really need some time and space to sort things out.” If you can’t accept that not everything is rosy and happy all the time, and that if the man you “love” needs to pull away and you just bark and say “you’re behaving badly,” then you have no reason to be in a relationship.
Thank you for reading this article and I am glad you found it interesting. There are several reasons why a man pulls away and stops contact suddenly without giving you any explanation. The important thing now, is for you to take time and reflect on this relationship. This time is for your personal growth and to rebuild your confidence. You are on the right path by working on your self and learning that you deserve so much more. I know that you truly care for him, because as you stated you have allowed him into your life several times. Keep busy and focus on what you need and try something new. I am not sure if you will ever understand why he became all talk and no action. Take this experience and grow from it so that you can have the healthy relationship you so deserve.
My bf and I were together for almost 2 years, LDR. We broke up in December 2018, but then got back together right after New Years. Then, he forgot my birthday for the second year in a row and I flipped out. I unloaded on him that I was the one doing all of the driving, spending, planning, and that he didn’t even want a relationship with me, that he didn’t care about my life, business or a future. He is a doctor and makes it clear that he’s ‘important’…..I had had enough of always coming last and being hidden. He never introduced me to friends or family, nothing. I would love to have him back if he could only see how I felt. I simply think he’s another run of the mill commitment phobic, but, how can I see if he misses me after the no contact if we are LDR? There were many qualities about him that I loved, and I have no interest in dating anyone new. No contact has been 26 days or so now; his birthday is coming up in April, should I wish him a Happy Birthday in a few months? He is 58, I am 53. Thanks for any input.
My bf an I have been dating for the past year an a half we don’t live together nor live in the same city, we only really see each other on weekends, it was amazing at first for the first part of the year of being together then all of a sudden he started accusing me of cheating on him with others guys let alone my daughter’s dad that I haven’t been with for 6 plus years, that im using drugs.. so tired of being accused of stupid things I’m ready to start doing them.. do you have any advice?

Hi, my ex boyfriend and i work together, he is younger than me and we were friend for 2 years, I have been supporting him during his bad marriage. I have been liking him for a while and I confessed to him and told him that I can’t be his friend any more as I need to deal with my felling to him as this is wrong feelings because he is married. Latter he got separated from his wife and contacted me 2 weeks after the separation and we became together very quickly and very intense, he initiate every thing and we were very happy he told me how much he loves me and that he wanted to have a future with me. I gave him all the attention and care he needed to help with his separation. Then after that he start to change he started to disrespect me and became secretive than he dumped me because he is not ready for a relationship but he wanted us to remain friends. Our relationship lasted 2 and half months I was upset and tearful but I didn’t react he tried to say hurtful things to me to have a reaction still I didn’t react and I didn’t get hurtful to him with any words or actions and told him that I understand what he is going through and I am willing to go back to be friends, he was grateful for this and astonished that I didn’t react crazy of hurtful to him. Afterwards he contact me via text in almost weekly basis for the following 3 weeks after the breakup checking on me and try to open conversation, also appreciating me at the office to check that i am ok. I kept it short and simple as i need my time to heel as well as i felt he is playing games to keep me hooked in case he can’t find some one alse so he would have me as a short tearm back up. I stoped all contact a week ago and started to ignore him in the office as well and tried not to run into him but in a cool way so I only smile and say hi if we are in the same place briefly. He didn’t text me at all this week, I do want him back because i do love him but not sure that i have a chance or that he even really care. I am very cool, calm and smily in the office as allways which he can see which made him a bit uneasy and he tried to get my attention. I continued taking care of myself and having fun which he can see as well. Can you please advise if you can? Many thanks, Angie.

If you find that you never ever want space from him, it’s time for you to start finding your own space anyway. It’s not healthy for couples to spend all their time together. It can cause you to neglect your friends, family, and self. You can start to rely too much on this man (and, in my mind, you always need just a dose of independence for yourself) and lose your identity.


Well, Eric Charles is the guy and he promotes the masculine behavior. For God sake, women, our message is clear what we want in a relationship. I am tired that we are always trying to please those guys and etc. The reality is that guys behave as they want and we need to adjust to their particular needs. All those articles say that we need to understand their mindset and how they function so that we could finally find a happy relationship. We basically have to play games. Men are really complicated. Women are very simple. If they want something they say. shhh!!! watch out!! If you say this, the poor guy will be frightened. He does not want to commit. Do not make love with him because he will get what he wants and again he will not want to commit. Jesus! Then, why they do not try to understand how women function and to adjust. Most men are absolutely idiots when it comes to the relationship. We women can give some classes to our sons so that at least new men generation would be more aware of the subject which is “women”.
Go out with friends and tell him about it. Start having nights out with your friends instead of date nights, and then tell your guy all about how much fun you had. He will probably be happy for you, but he’ll also be a bit jealous of how much fun you can have without him. If you spend a couple weekends having fun with friends, you’re guy will soon start to miss being the person that's having fun with you.
This is by far the best article I’ve ever read in my entire life about relationships and how to understand a man. This article would definitely help my BFF understand this as she is the clingiest, neediest & most insecure person ever & fails relationship after relationship. The only thing she says is: “I’m a good person why I can’t get a good man for myself?”. She praises herself endlessly but, when She finally lands a guy, she’s suffocated them so much that they end up leaving her. And believe it or not, as a friend, that’s really hard to watch when u see your BFF being dumped especially when she asks why… That’s when this article comes in. This article should have her name on it.
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