I was with my GF for almost 6 yrs she’s 21 I’m 23, i was planning on proposing next yr after she graduated college, I’m not in college i work so our time line is a bit off, we’ve both have hurt each other before but we always seemed to patch it up and stuff and i really do feel like i Love her and she’s the one and she’s told me before that she wants to marry me and stuff. Point is she asked for a break up about 2 weeks ago saying they’re was plenty from her party missing and that she can’t have me going 100% and her giving 50% i get it we got to together when she was 16 and i was 18 so we are all we e known, she also is very stressed with school and said she wants to handle her time better and she wants to work on herself and me being in Love I’m hurt i mean i understand but I’m hurt, I’ll admit i haven’t been the best bf but the last couple of yrs I’ve been the absolute best I’m so considerate I’m so nice I’m so focused on her needs but i guess that’s not enough for her to want some space becuase she says she needs to work on herself. I’m trying to do the no contact thing i try i go 2 days and bam i call her i don’t cry but i do tell her that i miss her and she’s says she misses me too but that she stands by the break up and that she wants space. I know i should just give her space maybe to finish out her school and graduate and maybe if she still has love for me after maybe try it again? It just sucks becuase she is my Bestfriend and i do everything with her but i know that she wants to do stuff without me and maybe is just tired of having to answer to somebody which i get and i know i have to work on myself i get it becuase woman want a strong men a guy who doesn’t break when things get down and wants a confident guy which i know i can be better at.
Even though this one may be hard to swallow because we value ourselves so highly as women and no one likes a blow to the ego or rejection, it’s important to talk about. Often times a man will show you signals of commitment but not want to commit to getting to know you. There are two principal reasons for this. Either they just don’t have interest in you and don’t want to hurt your feelings, or you fell in love too easily and they lost interest in the chase of getting their “prize”. I will go deeper into the meaning of the chase and the “prize” as we move along this article.
My ex and I met 7 months ago one night out dancing. We had an amazing connection instantly. He told me on our second date not to fall in love with him as he was moving back home across the country. Regardless to say I never reached out to him he contacted me every day and we spent every day together for 1.5 months before he moved. In that time we got pregnant, he was the one that said ok let’s try this, after telling me before knowing this he was not ready for a relationship as they don’t work distance wise. So we were committed and then I unfortunately lost the baby which I flew to see him and he was amazing! I met his entire family and we fell in love. We were apart for 4 months and then went away on a trip which was great. When he moved back to my city he struggled with reality having to work and get up and guilt of leaving his dad who is terminally ill. He then started to get get distant stopped being intimate and short with me. When we finally talked he said he was not emotionally physically or mentally ready for a relationship. Where honestly he is depressed and not dealing with life situations of job security, financial security and family illness. He bawled his eyes out to me when ending it saying he was sorry that he loves me but he needs to remove himself from the stress of a relationship. He said I could still see his family and he still wants to be apart of my life, going for dinners, movies ect. I stopped talking to him and he texted me every day for three days. Then he gave me 4 days space before messaging me again saying he misses me but it’s only been a week and thanked me for sending his mom’s mother’s day cards. He has liked a post on my FB. He sent so many confusing mixed messages when we were braking up, kissing me telling me he loves me asking me over for sleep overs.
Men do enjoy being in relationships (when it’s with the right woman, that is), but at the same time, most men have a huge fear of losing their freedom and getting trapped in a situation with a woman who sucks them dry and leaves them feeling drained and uninspired. A man will feel “free” in a relationship when he’s with a woman who is whole and fulfilled in her life and doesn’t rely on the relationship to meet her every need.
When you’re anxious for a guy to make you his girlfriend, he will be able to smell your desperation from a mile away. This desperation will turn him off, and he will be thinking of a bunch of different ways to get rid of you once and for all. So instead of being needy and clingy, you have to become aloof. If you become less interested in him, he will fight harder to regain your attention, and it will make him want to take things to the next level.

In my own research, I find that women are a slightly more faithful group, as confirmed by talks with sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. He says that just 14 percent of ever-married women report having had an extramarital affair over their lifetime, as compared with 22 percent of men.


This is by far the best article I’ve ever read in my entire life about relationships and how to understand a man. This article would definitely help my BFF understand this as she is the clingiest, neediest & most insecure person ever & fails relationship after relationship. The only thing she says is: “I’m a good person why I can’t get a good man for myself?”. She praises herself endlessly but, when She finally lands a guy, she’s suffocated them so much that they end up leaving her. And believe it or not, as a friend, that’s really hard to watch when u see your BFF being dumped especially when she asks why… That’s when this article comes in. This article should have her name on it.


#1 You are too pushy. If you are coming on too strong and he is not in the same place in the relationship, he will likely start to withdraw. Guys don’t like feeling pressured into being with someone. Wanting to maintain control, if they feel as if you are moving too fast, trying to persuade them to take the relationship to a point they aren’t ready for, they will begin to pull back and try to create distance.
Hey there my ex broke up with me a 2 days ago and he said that he still wanted me in his life because he loved me but didn’t feel like there was anything there anymore. Now we had a little fight and he didn’t text me for two days and only texted me because I texted him. His response was that he wanted to break up and we talked about it in person and came to a conclusion together even though it was obvious I didn’t want to break up inket him go because that’s what he needed. We texted a bit before I went to hangout with some friends after we got done breaking up and I changed my relationship status to single but he hasn’t. He hasn’t even changed his profile pic of us? And I know he’s online all the time I can see it so what’s up does he just not care all that much about what it says am I over thinking it a little too much?
#7 He has low self-esteem. If you’ve been together for a while and things have not gone financially the way that he thought they would, he may be feeling inadequate. When a man feels like he can’t provide the way that he wants to, the pressure of being with someone he loves can become overwhelming. Transferring his feelings of inadequacy to you, he may unwittingly be pulling away due to his own feelings of inadequacy, blaming you for his failures.
The two of you share a strong emotional and social connection with each other. It is possible that he is unable to nourish a relationship with you at this time. It is clear that he is busy, so he may have a tight schedule. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and perhaps attempt to spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Julie!
Now you might be wondering, how can I fix this and undo the damage? The answer is the same as above, just pull back, give him space, and focus on yourself. Working overtime trying to undo the damage caused by acting needy is still you acting needy. It’s you being desperate for his approval and for his love and affection. Guys hate feeling that sort of pressure from a woman, the feeling that they need to be a certain way or she will get upset.
The truth is that if you want your membership in this club to be temporary, it requires that you don’t just “wait it out,” hope it changes, or avoid the topic. To get started, make sure you feel pretty darn certain that he feels the same way about being in a relationship with you. If you feel like you can’t wait for him to bring it up first, here are some Dating with Dignity moves you can make right now into the land of committed relationships. Read on to learn how to get him to commit!
    "...in examining women's marital quality and men's emotional investments in marriage, we find that dyadic commitment to institutional ideals about marriage and women's contentment with the division of household tasks are more critical. We also show that men's marital emotion work is a very important determinant of women's marital quality. We conclude by noting that "her" marriage is happiest when it combines elements of the new and old: that is, gender equity and normative commitment to the institution of marriage."1
If you know the actual reason why your boyfriend or husband is acting distant and not giving you the attention and time that you deserve you will be able to correct the situation and get his attention back. The key is to try to understand the reason behind your man’s cold and distant behavior. Here are the possible reasons why men withdraw in a relationship.
My live in boyfriend of 5 in a half years has pulled away after I became preganant and it was a planned pregnancy. He says he wants space to reflect on our relationship but still wants to work things out and is going to make an appointment with a therapist. Should I give him this space and back off? I find this situation difficult because I feel alone during my pregnancy. He also started seeing someone else just a few days of me moving out. Should I just give up on him? I still love him.
As an example, if he brings up his favorite band, ask him to show you what he thinks their best tracks are. Even if you’re a country-loving bumpkin, keep an open mind about his heavy-metal. If your relationship grows, you can show your devotion by surprising him with tickets to that excessively loud, long-hair-whipping band. Though you may be hiding earplugs, he’ll appreciate you tolerating the base pulsing through your chest.
When I was younger I always used to real men in and then cast them back out. So when I was with them I was fun, talked about them more than me and didn’t ever nag them but as soon as the day/night ended I wouldn’t call or text (or even really think about them) til they got back in touch. Men love women like that. Since having kids and now being single again it’s not quite so easy due to lack of spare time and me worrying that each person isn’t going to be good enough for the rest of my life, but after reading this I need to get back on track with my old ways. When I was in a relationship I was exactly the same and would never expect them to do boring things like shopping or visiting my mums house for dinner and I wouldn’t gatecrash their family events. I’d encourage them to go and see friends but they end up wanting to be with you more then .
In a relationship, we get into a routine. We leave the house at a certain time in the morning and come back together at a certain time. Rarely do we go off our schedules, so we expect our partner to come back at the time they said they would. While you don’t want to not show up when you are supposed to all the time, doing it once in a while can help remind him of how much he likes being around you and it is a great tip on how to make him miss you.
#1 Be fun and easy going. Guys are much less complicated than women, that much is for certain. They like things to be easy going and relaxed. Which means they don’t really want to commit to someone who’s going to add stress to their life. So be easy going and keep things light and fun. He’ll be much more willing to commit. [Read: 10 ways to prove that you’re girlfriend material]
I would stick to the break up message. He is obviously having issues about something–a past girlfriend, the age difference, the wealth difference, reservations about being committed or worries about dating a co-worker. Whatever his reasons are, he did not try to stop the break up from happening. It seems from his messages since then that he is more interested in just being a good friend to you. If he ever wants to be more, it is up to him to make a move. From his behavior right now, it seems like he is fine with things just as they are. It is just too bad that he never decided to share his complex reasons for wanting the break up and for being so unreachable. Hopefully, your next boyfriend will be a bit more open about how he thinks and feels. Good luck, Harrie!
Leave him alone. I’ve been there believe me. It hurts and sometimes you can’t help yourself but you need to let go. You deserve a man that wants to be with you. Don’t force it. Do things that make you happy. Something new. Run a marathon, take a self defence course or do something you always wanted to do. You will find a perfectly good man that loves and wants to be with you when you least expect it.
i miss my boyfriend , we are in highschool and usually we txt throughout the day , its just rlly nice . rn it is winter break and not only that he broke his phone , sooo rn i have to deal with missing him . there are times that i miss him incredibly much but in a way i also am "thankful" that we cant talk bc that teaches me to be more independent ( which i am use to losing when i am in a relationship ) . its a bitter sweet kinda thing .
"Regardless of what you've heard, realize that guys can indeed be 'just friends' with other girls. Some women can get really jealous for no reason. Some think there's no such thing as a platonic relationship with another girleither one or the other of you wants to hook up. It's important for them to know that those relationships can and do exist with the opposite sex. Don't drive yourself crazy over them." KC I.
Guy, yeah it might be easier if you just avoid the situation. Everything’s easier if you just run away from it. It’s not right though and a very childish way of ending things. There’s something to be said for a bit of honesty. If you ignore the person rather than saying “I’m no longer interested” it shows that you’re not honest. It says more about you than it does about the girl who you’ve just left out of the blue. Been out with a few guys who for some reason or another have realised that it’s not what they want and they were honest about it. Didn’t like it because I really liked them so was a bit hurt but I got over it eventually.
It sounds like it is the only reason. He started to have feelings for you, was unwilling to have a serious relationship again and he probably wanted to avoid leading you on any more than he had. While you had a lot in common and he was a wonderful partner, he is not in a place right now in his life to be serious about anyone. It looks like it was just bad luck that you started dating him so soon after his last relationship. All you can do right now is hope that he ends up missing you and deciding that he can have a committed relationship after all. Since that type of healing takes time, you should probably focus on moving on for now and getting over the relationship–it could be months or even years before he really feels ready for another committed relationship. Good luck!
If your guy is taking his time with asking you to be his girlfriend, a simple way you can speed things along is to already play the part of the woman in his life. Now, you don’t want to go overboard with this trick, because if done incorrectly, you can definitely scare the guy off. Instead of coming on strong and being in his face 24/7, subtly integrate yourself into his life so that he can’t imagine his life without you.
Rather than get yourself upset because your boyfriend or potential love interest hasn’t told you he misses you, take some time to think. If we take ourselves out of situations and think about what really matters, you’ll soon realize that he does miss you. Guys often don’t speak their feelings but show them through actions, perhaps he hasn’t told you he misses you lately but in fact, he does. Knowing how strong your relationship and bond is will make you realize you two are good together and that it was stupid to ever think he wouldn’t miss you.
One of the best ways to make a guy miss you is to have fun without him. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but your guy wants to be the only thing that makes you happy. If you’re having fun without him (a girls’ night out, some really cool skydiving lessons, etc.), then he’s going to want to be part of the fun. Men like to be the ones to make you smile, and if you’re smiling without him he’ll notice and he’ll pay more attention.
There may be something missing from your relationship that means you two aren’t communicating properly and feelings aren’t getting exchanged as they used too. Taking some time to refocus your energy back on the relationship and remember why you two got together in the first place is a huge way you can make him miss you. Send old photos of the best memories you two have together or just organize something that you both can do. Spend some time rekindling and being together when you can. Then when you both go and separate again he will miss you and the time he’s spent with you. It’s not always possible to be together but if it is then you should try.

if you only tell him you miss him, that will not complicate things at all. in a relationship, you gotta be open and transparent. if you love him, tell him. if you miss him, tell him. don’t wait for him to say it first just because you’re too afraid he won’t say it back. you are telling him because you feel that way and not because you want to feel good about yourself.
While it is a good idea to talk things through if you want to define what your relationship is, you should go easy on placing labels. Putting pressure early on to what you have, even if it is something special could lead to its premature death. Instead look out for signs that you are going steady like seeing each other exclusively, being updated with each other’s activities, and getting to know someone’s friends and family.

My boyfriend of almost four years broke up with me and I’m so sad. He’s been reaching out to check on me for the first four days and then just dropped off. How would this article apply to my situation? I’m not clinging to the hope of him coming back, but there’s always a chance he’ll miss me and realize what he lost. I’ve been initiating no contact with him.
I’ve been dating this guy for about 6 weeks or so. Yes, early days I know, but we have passed a lot of these things. I’ve met his brother, his casual friends and a lot of his close friends. Natural since we’ve known each other for 8 years really. Anyway I feel like I’ve ruined something great. We try and have a date a week, very casual ones though, we feel good around each other, talk is easy, we support each other, have some similar interests and hobbies, and the sex is great. It was only how one date night he was sick and I organised an easy night at his where I would bring over dinner, watch a movie and just hang out. He told me he wasn’t up to it and wanted some alone time. I get that. I have those days too. I also get that plans come up and that if there is a friend you can only see once in a blue moon then you take it. But, does it have to be the same night? Do I have to find out through a third person that he went to a party while sick on the night he wanted to be alone? Now in past relationships I’ve done the bad thing, let these things slide, hurt me and reward them for it; but I didn’t want to do that. I messaged him today – not trusting my voice – with something along the lines of ‘since you believe in honesty is the best policy, next time tell me alone time just means time with anyone but me.’ I told him I’ve been in that type of relationship before and I was really hurt by it. He said he understood and it was inconsiderate before slipping in the whole thing of ‘personally, i’m not looking for a serious relationship right now.’. Ok, I get that. Just shy of two months dating (even though we’ve known each other for 8 years) and we are young! We are only 22. I agreed with him but he also knows that down the line those feelings on my end might change. I also said that if they change for him to let me know since I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want him to be either. I’ve been in the whole one sided relationship before and the guy really hurt me in that situation. I feel like I’ve ruined it by telling him how I feel since he just slipped in that line and it just felt like another blow. I like this guy, I could see a potential relationship in the future but I’m just scared that even though I said I don’t want a label that he thinks that since i added that months down the line that could change. When that time comes I’m just wondering how to reach him to move from just casual dating to a proper relationship.
One of the most important pieces of relationship advice for women is to have fun with your partner. Being able to joke around, go on adventures, and laugh together as a couple will help you be better able to weather any future storms that may arise. You and your partner should make an effort to go out, bring back date night, travel to exotic places, and try new things as a couple in order to keep the spark alive between the two of you. So instead of sitting on the couch each night binge-watching Netflix, take your relationship out of the house and find new and exciting activities to try.
Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”

My ex broke up with me beacuse of silly reasons because she was afraid that I might hurt her in the future(she’s very sensitive). I tried many things to get her back and she always said no which made me frustrated. Therefore I said to her that I don’t want to watch your face anymore. We haven’t talked since then. But sometimes she looks at me when I’m not looking and I can tell she still loves me. Is there any way that we can get back together.
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What do you mean exactly by taking a step back? Seeing each other every few weeks already seems like a fairly large step back. How often do you guys talk during the day? Sometimes, talking on the phone or computer is what actually takes up the most time. Before you can figure out how to keep the relationship going, you need to figure out what you mean by taking a step back. Do you mean just talking on the weekends? Or only talking for a maximum of 30 minutes a day? I think that if you do not bother him too much (Which, let’s be honest, happens to just about everyone after a break up) with texts and calls, I think that he will start to miss you. If he is as perfect for you as he says, then he will end up thinking about you just as much or more after the break up. If I were you, I would just tone down the messages and calls. Wait for him to come around, and if he does not, you know that the relationship is over.
What a stressful article! I mean, “Look sexy, get kinky, be aggressive, give him space, take care of yourself, don’t be a drama queen, don’t try so hard…” Blah blah blah!!! Be you. Be as crazy and assertive and talkative and love yourself the way you are. Don’t break your back trying to look how you think he wants you to look, or force yourself into an uncomfortable sexual encounter because you don’t want him to get bored and wonder off… Men need to be held accountable too! And if you are doing everything to make him stay, you’re only going to resent him for not putting in as much effort. And he won’t. Because he’s a dude. So just be you and find someone you don’t feel the need to CHANGE or CHANGE FOR.

Rather than get yourself upset because your boyfriend or potential love interest hasn’t told you he misses you, take some time to think. If we take ourselves out of situations and think about what really matters, you’ll soon realize that he does miss you. Guys often don’t speak their feelings but show them through actions, perhaps he hasn’t told you he misses you lately but in fact, he does. Knowing how strong your relationship and bond is will make you realize you two are good together and that it was stupid to ever think he wouldn’t miss you.

I really miss him a lot what hurts is that he broke up with me just before Christmas and we had so much planned to start a fresh new year together have a Christmas dinner together so much plans for future so much planned for New Year everything fell apart just in matter of 2 second. My heart tells me he will come back he’s a man who likes to solve his own problem without involving third party. But I can’t convince myself that he will come back my mind is still on him everything reminds me of him he left his some of his clothes at my house all the pictures all the social media.
I’ve just broken up with him and….we still live together! How am I supposed to not stay in touch etc if we share a house? We have issues and we both need time to tackle them separately. We feel there is a chance for us to be together in the future but if we were to stay together right now, things would go very bad… So, in order to salvage the feelings and fondness we had before the problem cropped up, we’ve decided to separate. BUT we live together…!!! How can I make him miss me if we’re flatmates? :/
I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 8 months now. He completely swept me off my feet in the beginning (it was like a love bomb). He started changing a couple months after that — we never really “dated” — it just went from a couple dates where he would take me out and drop me off at my apartment and go back to his. Then, a few weeks later he was practically living in my apartment full time. He blames me for everything wrong in the relationship — shuts down emotionally now and we just had another blowout and he says to me he needs a week of space. I think he was just using me for convenience because my apartment was closer to his for work. I am so confused. He is not texting much anymore, not interested in my goals and things we used to share and that bonded us in the beginning. It just feels so empty and I can’t talk to him because he automatically says that I focus on him too much and I analyze the relationship too much. He calls me crazy and negative, among other things. He basically just comes over and sleeps. No connection, no emotion. I don’t know what to do anymore. I think it’s time to let him go — I also think he has narcissistic traits as i’ve been trying to read and educate myself. Could you offer any advice? Thank you.

Actions do speak louder than words and when it comes to communication with your man, up to 85% comes from your body language. It’s normally the physical draw that gets the conversation going. When it comes to the chemistry, it’s the pheromones that certain people are drawn to. Researchers believe this is what makes people want more after the first signs of physical attraction.
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