If you cannot control your feelings, then I would suggest for you not to maintain a relationship with this person. Furthermore, I always think it’s vital to any starting point in dating or a relationship to be clear about each other’s expectations. If you are looking for a relationship, then let the other person know early on! If not, then say so. There have been too many times that I’ve seen a woman dating a man for months on end, only to end up getting hurt because it became a purely physical “modern relationship” in which the man never truly committed. The two never set the expectations for a relationship, or the woman sat in silence out of fear of being pushed away, hoping he would come around.
In my personal life, I meet all sorts of people.  Some people are easy and fun to be around … I can spend hours with them, talking about things, laughing about things, and just genuinely enjoying their company. Being around them doesn’t require effort and I don’t want anything from them. I would have just as much fun driving in the car with them and chatting as I would doing something “exciting.”

We bought my fave food nd we stayed in his condo and watched movies. We were like friends. No malice. And we were not sweet like how we were on text. But he’s sorrt that our first date is as simple as that only. And he even said that next time, he will do better. Then we slept on diffrent bed. But he came to me and slept beside me. I dont know what came to my mind and i hugged him. He hugged me back. All night, we just cuddled. We didnt kiss or had sex (well i wont allow him if he forced me) . the next morning, we didnt talk about it like it never happened. He walked me to the bus station.


2. Freedom. Many men desire to feel free not to be boxed in by questions like "What are we doing this weekend?" or "Why didn't you call?" If they do not answer phone messages, texts, or emails right away, it may be that they feel they should be exempt. Women facing this response may need to decide whether they will accept it or decide that a partner is no longer worth the effort.
Hey there. I was in the same situation. By ‘was’ meaning, we had broken up. I had been dating this guy for 2 years just like Bee. It was unofficial. He made it known to me a couple of times that he didn’t want a relationship. But we did everything people in a serious relationship did and I felt like he was leading me on. He was hot and cold and that led me to be unnecessarily clingy and aggressive and most of the time depressed. So he finally told me to shove off in the worst way possible, clearly expressing that he didn’t see a future with me. But you know what? He told me that instead of texting him everyday and showing him I love him, I should love myself. And that was the best advice I ever heard. So I did what he wanted. I left and didn’t talk to him for two months. After sometime he came back, but now I am treading lightly so I won’t hurt myself again.

You may want to have a unique scent for your date nights and one for your holidays, or you may want to have a unique scent for when you get busy in the bedroom. That scent can be lightly sprayed on something when you are gone, and if he catches a whiff of it, you will be the first thing to enter his mind. The more he associates that scent with good times, the more he will miss you.


I received a Facebook message from his ex girlfriend last Sunday asking if I was his girlfriend then told me she had been sleeping with him. I confronted him and he begged me for a second chance and I gave it to him. Three days later he tells me he loves everything about our relationship and me but isn’t sure if he’s in love with me because he doesn’t know what that feels like and ended our relationship because he says he knows he’s going to hurt me again and isn’t happy with himself enough to give to a relationship. Devasted I haven’t contacted him since and yesterday after less than a three days of being broken up he unfollowed me on Instagram but he watched my story. We had an amazing connection and he said he meant everything he said to me including wanting me to be his wife and my face being the last he sees before he dies, but he’s feels like he’s not able to fully commit to me. I don’t know what is going on in his head, he’s so gentle with me but he broke my heart and I was willing to forgive him and I almost think that was the wrong move.., help


As far as sex is concerned, my concise comment on the matter has always been that a woman knows best when to sleep with a guy — it’s her choice and nobody has a place to judge or shame that. At the same time, she would do best to make sure that she’s doing it because she wants to and never, ever from a place of fear (fear that he won’t stick around if she doesn’t, fear of him losing interest if she doesn’t, fear that’s she’s not enough without having sex with him, etc.)
This technique works so much better than the old “Date someone else to make him jealous.” Because I’ll tell you right now, as a man, if I see you dating someone else instead of me, my first reaction is to be sad…and to wish you well in your new relationship. Sure, dating someone else and making him jealous may work…or it may explode in your face and cost you dearly.
Wow, I really liked some of your advice. I know most of that, but I really needed to hear it again. I'm not doing a great job at being unattached and being independent. lol. I put drinking glasses around the house over our bugs to let him kill them when he gets home. lol. I guess I should suck it up and pick them up and not be such a needy baby about that. Heck, I've done it before. Just not my favorite chore. Thanks for the encouragement!

I’ve been dating my ex for last 2 years he was a married man and I’m a single mom …we worked together and he asked me out we share each other’s feelings he told me how his marriage that is not working with his wife he has no feelings for her she does not want family she does not want kids she does not want to be intimate with him at all he asked me out and I said yes why not give it a try since then our relationship been good but yet he was living with her he tried his best to communicate with me as much as possible after 1 and 1/2 years I always try to make him move out of the house if he does not want to be with her make a decision if he is happy with her he can be with her and break up with me. every time I tell him to break up with me he cries and he says he does not want to break up with me because he is only happy with me want to be with me he needs me he promised he’s not intimate with her he’s only intimate with me. We work together we lost our job because we were in a relationship he did not care he Risked his job I risked my job to stay together even after losing the job we stayed together we still love each other the same I thought he will break up with me after losing the job but we knew the consequences when we first started dating we still did not care. Being a single mama has so much responsibility he helped me in many ways co-signing to my apartment co-signing to get me a credit card with his credit. Taking care of my child loving my child giving my child the love of a father everything he did was so perfect. We always talk about future having babies having a house we plan to meet my family we go on vacation thanks so much we seen so much as speech for future. He. agree to move out but when time came he had excuse he could not move out to which i said okay let’s be patience and he will move out. I know he cares about her he did tell me he cares about her a lot and he wants to make sure that she is okay before he moves out. Last Friday he plan to move out but when the date came he says he does not want to move out now he wants to make sure she’s okay before he moves out I was very upset I wanted to break up with him but he cried and he said he needs me he does not want to break up he just needs a little more time which I said I did cannot give no more time I have been patient for last 2 years that’s it today either he choose me or choose her. After 3 hours of arguing and crying he moved out with me. Because I wanted to break. Well on my way home he promised to always stay by my side and he loves me a lot now I don’t have to worry about anything he’s there for us . then the same night she’s been calling he text her and told her he moved out and he will file for divorce to which she said she would like to meet him once and sit down and talk like adults. He said okay he will mert the next day . He told me he will go see her I said okay could go see her. now I regret I shouldn’t have let him go. I don’t know what happened when he went to meet her in 2 hours he came back pick me up from work came home and told me he needs to talk to me and he said he’s moving back in with her he think he should give her another chance. , after begging him to stay not to do this think about it again he still did not stay he left. Next day his wife message me telling me to stay away from him and her and that she will never come back to me and my child. So I told her everything and I asked her if she was intimate with him for last 3 years cuz he told me he was never and she laughs and says that’s what he told you oh my God and then she says how could he think of having a future with you and your child if I don’t sign off the divorce paper. And he has to give me money half of his income every month. That tells me clearly that she blackmailed him emotionally whichever way to money which made him make that decision. She took his phone away from him and changed his number I called him at his work and I asked him what’s going on he needs to talk to me and give me a proper explanation to this break up and walk away he just told me not to call him it’s done between us he does not want to see me or talk to me.


I hope this article helped you learn what it takes to make a man miss you and want you even more. But that’s not all it takes to have an amazing relationship. Do you know what really inspires a man to commit? Do you know what it takes for him to see you as girlfriend material, as a woman who is a cut above all the rest? If not, you need to read this next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
I enjoy reading your articles. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year. We dated before 6 years ago and the reason we stopped dating is because he said I was pushing for something he wasn’t ready for. I didn’t realize I was pushing. He’s saying now like he said before, he doesn’t want a girlfriend right now, he’s too busy. But yet he’s still interested. He has said things to me like, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot and there’s nothing I can do about”, “We are more than just friends”, and then he pulls away again. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ride with him. He lives an hour away, we only text once a week or so, and only see each other every 2 or 3 months. We get frustrated with each and have arguments but still want to see each other so there’s something there. We are both Scorpios so I’ve been reading articles about 2 Scorpios being in a relationship and reading your articles. I’ve tried very hard not to seem “pushy” and realize the relationship is what it currently is. But how long do I have to wait for him to want to see me more? What should I say to him?
So many red flags! He seems abusive. For starters, he shouldn’t be calling you names and putting you down. And the fact that he dislikes your being independent and ought to be cleaning or cooking for him is so sexist, I can’t even… All this leads me to believe he will be physically and more emotionally abusive as time goes by. Run as far away as possible. I know it’s hard, but I don’t see your situation getting better. Stay safe.
If your man is pulling away after you two have gotten close, chances are that he’s not actually pulling away from you specifically. It’s more likely that he’s dealing with something in his life that’s dragging his attention and focus away from you – so to you it feels like he’s emotionally withdrawing, and to him it feels like he’s focusing on solving a problem. The best thing to do in this situation is always to play it cool and give him the chance to come back to you once he’s solved what’s bothering him.
After 4 years my boyfriend broke up with me via text. We were friends before dating and he is my best friend. I asked if we could talk and he agreed. He texted he loved me and said we would find a time to talk the following week. I haven’t heard from him since he was checking texts (I did text as I thought we were going to talk) but has blocked me now. He still has some personal items of mine that I can’t imagine he is keeping if he doesn’t want to contact me. I am heartbroken. This happened approximately 2 months ago and I am on 19 days of no contact which is killing me. I honestly think he might be seeing someone else but I don’t know that for sure. I miss my best friend above anything else. I have never been in a state of despair as I am over this.
This technique works so much better than the old “Date someone else to make him jealous.” Because I’ll tell you right now, as a man, if I see you dating someone else instead of me, my first reaction is to be sad…and to wish you well in your new relationship. Sure, dating someone else and making him jealous may work…or it may explode in your face and cost you dearly.
You only just met this guy, and he made it clear he wasn’t leaving. You were still in the honeymoon/ infatuation phase when you left. He sounds like he really liked you, but he was right o keep it light when that’s where you two were when you left. Had you stayed and got to know each other better, you would have found out whether you two were really compatible/ on the same level, etc.

So over the long weekend my boyfriend comes down to visit me. He lives 2 hours away. he came down the saturday afternoon and everything was going great. On Monday morning, i could hear zippers zipping up downstairs at 9am. I woke up and saw him packing his clothes. he told me he wanted to get home to workout and go for a run. I asked him if he wanted anything to eat and he just said “no i want to get going.” Before he left he said goodbye to me and stared at me for the longest time. I asked him if anything was wrong, and he replied back saying “no everything is fine dont worry”. I knew something was up with the way he just looked me. He hugged me goodbye and left. When he got back home i got a phone call. He called and said he was not good and we needed to talk. He stated that “I am a beautiful girl, and the best girlfriend he has had, but he doesnt see us getting married, he doesnt see me in his future.” He has been depressed lately because of his job, but I had no clue this was going to happen. There was no signs showing a breakup since we never really had problems. We had a great weekend, and then he goes home and calls me to break up with me. It does not make sense? Anyone have any suggestions or reasons why he all of a sudden did this to me?

Does he seem like he has one foot out the door? Like he’s not fully invested? When you bring up the topic of where things are going, does he avoid the question or say he’s not ready to talk about it? This can feel like he’s pulling away, but think about it: maybe he’s not pulling away. Maybe he’s standing still and you’re pushing. It might feel the same to you, but there’s a difference.


None of this is to excuse men pulling away, and this covers only some men. But it does explain why many, many men feel more comfortable with their “hanging buddies” — who are in all the same predicaments they are — more than they feel comfortable with they women in their lives. I think many men both desire and feel profoundly uncomfortable with women, and terrified of being judged. Because they’ve already judged themselves.

I garnered that a lot of guys mature late. But he’s 62 perhaps now 63. How late can he get to realize what he wants. And if he still acts unclearly about how he wants to take things with you, then I bet that’s how he wants it to be with you. I’m not a 62 year old guy so I can’t clearly shed light on what your man is really thinking but considering the fact that he has not been married nor had any serious relationship before, then i am 75 percent sure he wouldn’t have one anytime soon. Perhaps what he’s looking for is companionship with benefits and he found that with you. But if you two did finally hit it off, then may your bonds grow stronger.

If you are fond of flea markets, you would be familiar of the technique where you have to walk away to get a better price for what you want to buy. This same concept can be applied to commitment. The more you pursue something relentlessly, the higher the likelihood that the other party would succumb. Sometimes, the best strategy is to keep your cool and act like it’s not a big deal whether you get what you want or not.
I stayed up late last night to read your words. I was searching for some consolation to a negative thought in my head, and I found it. And here you are again today. You nailed it. Only through extreme heartache, researching yourself, and learning the lessons can you truly appreciate your eloquently written words. You are so highly skilled. What a gift. You found your calling. Ox
For an advanced relationship where you feel safe to do so, you can add some sultry tones. You could acknowledge a new move he tried in the bedroom last night and tell him you’re still thinking about it. Maybe you send him a snap of some lingerie you bought and say you’re looking forward to him coming over later. These kinds of messages are a sure-fire way to have him thinking about you all day long.
2. Freedom. Many men desire to feel free not to be boxed in by questions like "What are we doing this weekend?" or "Why didn't you call?" If they do not answer phone messages, texts, or emails right away, it may be that they feel they should be exempt. Women facing this response may need to decide whether they will accept it or decide that a partner is no longer worth the effort.
How to make him commit to a relationship, you might be wondering? You have decided that it is time to stop playing games and get serious with the man in your life but he might be putting up a resistance. Stack up some tips up your sleeves, and he’ll be ready for a long-term relationship in no time. Stop wondering how to get him to commit to a relationship and read these awesome tips, but primarily, guidelines on how to get a guy to commit is really not that hard, that is if HE really wants to.

Thank you for your comment. So this is very common and it seems to me he is keeping you around but not a priority. You will not get a true commitment from a man if he does not see you as a priority. There could be a way of changing this and you should not give him your time when he asks for it moving forward. I encourage you to reach out to me here and book a 30 or 1HR coaching session so we can discuss how to change this moving forward. Hope to hear from you soon. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/
Im in the current situation right now… He wants space for me being paranoid for past few weeks.. I really dont know wat to do, he is so busy and stressed from work.. He asked for space, i ask him if he is breaking up with me he said no he just need time and space for the meantime… Need your advice please… I dont want us to be apart i really love him..
Maybe, what you need is to stop thinking about how long you’d have to wait for him to want to see you more and focus on yourself first. I know its difficult to stop. But I think what you need is to gently nudge him and tell him that you want to see him more often, but that you won’t wait around for him forever if he keeps up his slow reaction time to your needs. Men don’t understand what we women want from them sometimes unless they’re relationship experts so I suggest you give your guy a little unobtrusive push. :)
I’m also in a relationship that i believe i committed myself too soon and i let him know of this. His response was that he wasn’t sure if he would even be available because his job might transfer him. I think he just used this reason as a way out. But, yet I’ve tried to put such boudary by letting him know that since we don’t want the same things we could just be friends. And although, I was hoping he wouldn’t take me up on it he did. So we stopped seeing eachother for a couple of weeks, but it’s been awful and I’m dying to see him again. So, when he playfully suggested to meet him again I totally went for it. But I’m afraid, this will put us right back to where we started. Do you think there is any way to put this relationship back in the right track? or there’s no way to save it now? I would appreciate any help you can give me.. Thanks
On the other hand, you’re wild and out of control in areas where it counts: like sex! A man wants to feel like he’s losing control sexually, like you’re even more insatiable than he is. You want sex more than he does, if that’s even possible, and there are no taboos you’re unwilling to discuss. You’re not a prude. You just haven’t decided yet, whether he’s worthy of you and knowing your fantasies.
Hey! Me and my boyfriend have been togheter for 2years now and the last month i was feeling that he stopped talking, drinking and working more. So i tried to talk to him for a week but he didnt really want to talk. So we talked about our realitionship and how i feel about him not calling me or texting me enough, compared to what i do to him. And he said that he knows that i deserve better and that he dont want to own anyone anyrhing. he said that he doesnt see a future with me, not with himself either, and the only thing he wants to do now is to work and be alone. Then we talked about our realitionship status, to remove it or not. We didnt agree on anything so the realitionship status is still there and i dont know how talk to him. I really want to try the no contact rule! But i could use some advice anyways
We’re all about empowered woman, but when you don’t let your man do even as much as change a lightbulb for you, it will make him feel inferior and not needed. Remember, his self-worth is directly connected to his ability to provide for you and protect you. Let him open doors for you, fix what needs to be fixed, pick you up late from the train station, etc. And if you make more money than him, still, let him pay for things. Being strong and independent is wonderful, but it doesn’t mean you can’t accept help or courtesies from other people.
My boy friend broke up with me I was needy and upset but calmed down he went out of state to work. It when he came back in town he stayed with me and we had sex it was rumored that he may be trying to date other women but when I asked him and said no problem be truthful he denies having any involvement with any one else . In 2 weeks I’m flying up to stay with him for a long weekend he seems excited but made I made a comment that I would not have sex with him if he was dating other women and that I had feelings for him and was not his friend . He in return said that he didn’t want to date anybody I’m assuming that includes me but then acted jealous when I made a comment about an actor on tv and expressed how i didn’t let him covey his feelings in our relationship. I love him and would like to rekindle things what do you think
If he hasn’t already texted you since your post, I would highly suggest you message him. Ask him why he broke up with you and tell him how you feel. If he really did care for you, he will explain and tell you how he also feels. If he ignores you, then there’s your answer. Don’t hope for him to text you back out of the blue because some people are so prideful and stubborn. He may just not know what he really wants, but as long as you know what you want (which is that he still cares for you and will come back to you) then just message him and ask him straight up. Don’t waste your time thinking or hoping he will make the first move. If his response is not what you was hoping for then at least that can provide you with some sort of closure and can hopefully help you to move on with your life. Don’t waste your time over thinking and hoping without doing anything about it.
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Earlier this year. I had gone to Europe to visit my friend. On my way back I stopped in Dubai while in transit to catch flight back home. I went into my Tinder app. Matched with a guy who later began chatting with me. Long story short. He and chatted in for a month. It was cool but hadnt expected to go anywhere as I’m live in South Africa and he an American lived amd worked in the middle east. In that month of our chats I lost my job which was such a big blow to me. He had taken a liking to me so much that he wanted me to visit him in the US all expenses paid. Very hesitant initially but decided to take the plunge. Didn’t get the US visa in time so we decided to meet in Dubai for a few days as thier visa process was faster. Flights booked and paid for. Visa ready. Just has to travel. By this stage he was so into me. He even said hesees me innocent his future and wants a life with me. Promised to look after me financially in my time of unemployment. I had no expectations of this statement. So is great. He sent me money regularly to for support which was very kind. So I went to Dubai he had booked us into a great hotel. Day 1 was lovely. Day 2 was ok started becoming very distant. Day 3. Left me entire day in hotel alone came back 2am. Day 4 ignored me all day until I had to catch flight home late that day. When asked. Just says im dealing with unexpected stuff. That’s it. So im like what must i do or can I help you through it. Just said he needs time. Distant and dismissive. Felt like an irritation to me for those days. I’m heartbroken. I was so accommodating. I got back home amd he didn’t bother to ask If I got home ok. So my question is whether or not what must i do
I was in a situation that still confuses me. Maybe you can help. I know long distance is hard, but I was in one for 4 months. I showed up great – warm, joyous, playful. We had seen each other 3 times and were planning on a visit at the holidays. Due to previous things that were planned for both of us – international travel and grad school exams, we knew it would be 8 weeks to see each other. He travelled and we spoke 4 times over 12 days for 2-3 hours, just having fun. When he got back, he called 10 times in 6 days, emailed, texted, and wrote me a letter about what an amazing influence I was and how we had this great chemistry. He started saying “love you” at the end of a few calls, and I said “love you too”, but never initiated it as I knew we were falling and needed to see each other. I went on an international vacation for 2 weeks and common times to talk were difficult (and I was having fun). We spoke twice by Skype with him asking when we could speak again. We scheduled a third and I emailed him once or twice telling him what fun stuff was happening and wishing him well on his studying. The last call he was late for, which it felt dispointed as I had asked if he just wanted to talk when I was home and he insisted we set up a time. I only said it once, he apologized and we let it go.

My boyfriend and me are in a long distance relationship. We just spent a week together after 6 months and I cant stop crying now that hes gone. We cried together before he left back for america too. Love is hard but hes worth all of this. Going to throw myself into a part time job over the summer so I dont spend my time missing him. And at the same time, earn money to go and see him too. People should do it
#1 Be fun and easy going. Guys are much less complicated than women, that much is for certain. They like things to be easy going and relaxed. Which means they don’t really want to commit to someone who’s going to add stress to their life. So be easy going and keep things light and fun. He’ll be much more willing to commit. [Read: 10 ways to prove that you’re girlfriend material]
Then, for every ten black women, there are only nine black men in society. Many die young. (Which means that many more have seen their friends die young). Many — but not most — are in prison. Many more are tagged with often scurrilous criminal records they don’t deserve — “resisting arrest” or “suspicious behavior” or “fleeing police in a high-crime area” — which prevents them from being considered for jobs, voting, or feeling like equals to their fellow male citizens.
I was with my boyfriend for 6months I found out the whole time he was talking to other woman and he had social media accounts behind my back to do so, we had very good and bad times as well normal stuff and he made me meet his family and him and his family told me I was changing him into a better man and was giving him inspiration to make his life better I’m just so confused I showed him all of the proof I found and we had an incident like that before but this time I had all my proof I sent it in a text message because I was t with him in person and he blocked me from everything it’s been a month now and he hasn’t even contacted me to say sorry or nothing I’m just here left in the dark and so confused
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