#5 He is stressed out at work. Men are not like women. They are not multi-taskers. If he is preoccupied with something like work, he probably isn’t capable of keeping his focus on two things at once. If you notice that he’s no longer as interested as he used to be, it’s important for you to start looking not only at his behavior but at what is going on with his family and work life as well. It may have absolutely nothing to do with you at all.
Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now he used to be like the best thing ever made be feel loved like never before. But of recent he got in to medical school and it started stressing him out and he started giving me less attention and I was actually going through a lot during this period and he was so busy that he wasn’t giving me attention so I started complaining and fighting with him a lot and asking for more attention but eventually he started avoiding me and every time I am with him and his not doing what I want I would start crying and I could feel him drifting away more and more then I spoke to him one night and he said he was indifferent about the relationship and wants us to be friends I cried so much and begged him for a second chance he actually really cares for me this Part I know out of pity he gave me a second chance then a few days ago he sent a random text saying his sorry he ever hurt me and he loves me so much but he still doesn’t call or text me much it hurts cause I really love him and I don’t want to loose i just need advice on what to do because all I want to do is talk to him every time but I don’t want to chock him and if his online and doesn’t text me I start to feel like he doesn’t want to talk to me the thing is how do i give him space and still make him love me as much as he used to
My ex and I had been seeing each for a year and half, we are both people who never thought we would end up together but eventually it all happened. He dumped me yesterday using the excuse that he is not 100% in. Before this for the past month he has been on and off with the way he feels, sayin he wants me then testing himself to try not and see me for a week but then rocks up at my house when his drunk and with no invite. The next night he invited me over I brought up a question that’s had been bothering me for ages and from there it all went south and he ended it but then said he doesn’t want me to leave sad, we woke the next morning and said he made a mistake and doesn’t want to break up, and then And then as I left he through a 180 and changed his mind but sat there’s crying as he ended it but said he still loved me but it’s for the best. I love the boy dearly and want him back more than anything the way he has ended it has confused me beyound no doubt with his constant change in thought. He says he loves me then dumps me the next day. My worry with your steps is that he is a stubborn and when he makes a decision that usually how it’ll stay but then again he over thinks everything to a point that he hurts his head. My other worry Is that he has deleted me from most social media saying he can’t handling seeing me, so the only time he would see me is maybe out in town. How is meant to miss me if I’m not there to remind him of what his missing. I love this boy and I’m sure you can understand that it feels like I’m having a heart attack over here everytime I breath.
When you show a guy that you are a giver and self-less person, he’s going to love you more. Taking the time to help others, says a lot about you. When you volunteer your time at the local hospital, to help collect donations for cancer, or to feed the homeless at Christmas time, you’re showing your guy what a great catch you are. He can’t help but love you more for this.
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So we have been together for two years and then my boyfriend left me and after some time he came back and he confessed he cheated on m when together and after leaving me at that time he was still with her. But then he begged for another chance so we started talking again and I was trying to make it work until I found out about something else he had done during that time. And all the anger and hurt came rushing back and I told him we were done. And he got really emotional and he told me not to leave him and that he will change and he begged me. But I still rejected him. And he hasn’t spoken to me since then but it’s only been a day. Either way I still do love him so I don’t know if I did the right thing by pushing him away when he begged so much. Will he ever come back now ? Would he stop trying to win me back? Have i lost him?
I used to use this formula all the time with my ex… but he was a narccisist and used devalue discard almost monthly for 18 years to keep me in love with him. I used to think wow this stuff works, until I realized he only came back because I was what they call narccisistic supply. Make sure you are not in a situation like this before using these methods that absolutely work, but sometimes we should let them go and get past the pain of missing them.
Is there another possible explanation for what seems like hot and cold behavior? Yes! If it’s not something new going on in his life that’s changed his routine, it could be about your relationship. It’s possible his feelings are dwindling, but it’s also possible he’s just settling into a more natural routine now that he feels the relationship is more settled.
#9 Give them plenty of space and freedom. One reason guys don’t want to commit is because they often feel like it’ll trap them. They want their freedom and space so if they don’t even become official with someone, they’ll keep it. That’s how they think, anyways. Show him that you’re more than happy to give him that space and he’ll be more willing to commit. [Read: 10 obvious hints guys give when they need more space]
Biologically and traditionally males chase females and females choose which male they want as a mate. So to be masculine you are supposed to chase, and to be feminine you are supposed to receive the chase (if you are interested in the male). If you personally do not like to chase women, that is your personal preference. But that is not the norm for males. Having said that, I don’t think it’s wrong if you prefer the female to chase you. But I do think it’s counter productive for you to pull away from a female for any of the reasons you have listed and then expect her to chase after you because of it, and if she doesn’t you lose interest. It sounds like you’re testing her when you put it that way, and no one likes those kind of games.
Relationships are a lot of hard work- there’s no doubt about that. And if your man lacks the basic skills necessary to hold and flourish a meaning relationship, he will more than likely pull away at a moments notice. This might be out of fear of not knowing what to do or doing the wrong thing, immaturity, or simply not knowing what to do from lack of experience with relationships. Whatever the cause, the relationship is bound for failure unless he has basic relationship skills.
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That's right. Sex is an integral part of healthy and happy relationships, hence the stress on keeping lines of communication open in the bedroom. You know that thing you've always wanted to try, but keep to yourself? We say, let your freak flag fly. Keeping your sex life new and interesting will make you and your partner happier in and out of the bedroom.
After a breakup, there always comes a time when you are forced to make a decision on whether to acknowledge your ex or not. This decision usually pops up on his birthday or a major holiday. Should you send that happy birthday text? Should you really hit send on that "Merry Christmas" message? The answer is no! Whatever you do, do not acknowledge your ex’s birthday, don’t wish him a happy Memorial Day, and just slap yourself for even justifying the need to send him a “Happy President’s Day” tweet. If you really want your ex to miss you, you have to hit him where it hurts. By refusing to acknowledge him on days that are important to him, it sends out the message that you have moved on, and he will instinctively want to draw you right back into his arms. He will definitely be missing all the attention he once received from you.
Long story.. before meeting my ex he said he wasn’t looking for anything serious. Once we met we clicked and after a few months we were both Grtting attached. We wound up pregnant and he totally stepped up! Wanted to be together fully and it reflected in his actions. We lost the baby but still stayed together. He even suggested trying again. Two months later he was working a lot and we were drifting. He stopped trying. We always got along wonderfully when we were together.grest chemistry, best friends. We just clicked. We slowly broke up without it even being clear to me why. He had no valid explanation other than he wasn’t ready to settle down . We were broken up a month and he would still send me random texts frequently. Last week he called me wanting to hang out but I had plans. He decided to go out in the same area I was and blew up my phone asking me where I was so he could meet up with me. I finally gave in. He sat me down and cried to me about how much he loved me, missed me.. he had a nightmare I was on a date and woke up in a complete panic. He told me how bad he wanted the baby with me and how much it screwed him up. After an emotional catch up , I went home with him. The next morning he said he wanted to get back together, that he didn’t realize what he had until he lost it.. that he has always loved me.,( he only told me this twice the entire time we dated) he probably told me 15 times though this time. He cuddled, talked and made love most the day. He asked me to come back that night ( he had to go to work) and that he wanted to make me dinner. I can’t back later.. he told me he ended things with this girl he was hanging out with, for me. He deleted his dating apps in front of me. All of this was completely his decision. We spent the night together again. Everthing was wonderful and natural. The following night he stated he didn’t wabt to rush back into it so fast…which led to him not being ready.. freaking out and completely changing his mind. Obviously im blindsided and completely heartbroken. What in the world happened?!
#1 Be fun and easy going. Guys are much less complicated than women, that much is for certain. They like things to be easy going and relaxed. Which means they don’t really want to commit to someone who’s going to add stress to their life. So be easy going and keep things light and fun. He’ll be much more willing to commit. [Read: 10 ways to prove that you’re girlfriend material]
I havent talked to him since then and this happened saturday im so hurt and I cant stop crying. He told me give him a week before we start talking again. (How do I deal with this???)I dont know what to do I can’t stop thinking about him and I keep checking my phone for him to text me. Does he miss me? He told me hes there for me but how can I talk to him if its about us he knows how I feel and he still left in hurt so much its killing me I havent been able to eat or sleep properly…. I don’t wanna wait but I know I have to I cant get him out of my mind. His close friend told me we were around each other to much and said we just need time apart. Everyone I talk to tells me give him space he misses me and thinks we will get back together. Its so hard from one point seeing him every day talking every day to nothing at all. I want him back so bad. It hurts so much and I don’t know what to do all I can do is give him time and wait for him to talk to me again…. Please any advise or what you think will help me.
Hard to tell what’s the difference between giving him space and receiving cold violence from him. But my opinion is if his not talking to you makes you feel very painful, then there’s no difference between giving him weeks or months of space. Relationships should be more about trying to make both sides happier rather than sad. Try to stay away from toxic people and relationships. Take care of yourself and people who you love and who love you. Go make friends and have fun! Relationship is a necessary for humans, romantic relationships may not. Good luck beautiful babes!
My fiance broke up/moved out in April. We had been having some problems for awhile and I was crushed by him leaving. I was angry, and sad. I was and had been very resentful about finding out he was married a 4th time that he never told me about. (I found out from a friend 1.5 years b4 he left). When I found out the issue was never discussed. Now I do take a lot of blame for many of our problems in our relationship. I asked him not to leave but he did, After he left he then was crying and very upset. He begged for me to take him back, yet none of our problems were really talked about. Things just kept spiraling. We have continued to text daily, some days all day long.
This is actually the way dating used to work in the old days. Take my aunt, who has been happily married for several decades. She once told me how, when she got engaged to my uncle, she had to write three “Dear John” letters to men she was seeing! And, by the way, she said this to me as my uncle was sitting right beside her with a glint in his eye. My aunt was a smart lady: She was taking care of herself first by making sure she was committing to the right man – someone who completely adored her and wanted to give her his heart forever.
Over-thinking the situation will manifest itself into clingy and needy behavior that your guy will sense, and it will definitely turn him off on being in a relationship with you. So try to keep your thoughts to yourself. Don’t be so quick to share every little story with everyone, and remain cool, calm and collected. He’ll probably be so impressed with how laid back you are, that he won’t be able to stop himself from asking you to be his girlfriend.
"Throw us a bone. We all know that men often think they know more about something than they really may. It's in our chemical makeup. Sometimes you just have to let us set the tent up wrong when camping or take three hours to change your oilfor a lot of us, it's how we both try to impress you and show you we care. Sometimes you've got to let a guy be a guyeven if we're goofing up." Blake S.
Do these strategies/tips apply for non-formal exes? What I mean by this is, for a guy whom you never officially dated but had a really amazing connection with? My personal situation was that I had “met” a guy online on a non-dating website. We got into a conversation and it quickly escalated into daily, almost constant communication. He lived in another country and doesn’t have social media – the way we met was really a fluke as it wasn’t a typical social media setting. Anyways, we connected pretty deeply really quickly. He would say things like he had never been able to have a conversation with another girl like me before, and how he could talk to me all day. His lifestyle was one where he works CONSTANTLY, and as such he never really had a real girlfriend or relationship, but despite that he was very sweet and would write me very long emails. We would talk about everything – it was mostly an intellectual/emotional connection. I have been in a long term deteriorating relationship for years now, and he knew this and still expressed that if I made the decision to leave he wanted to date me and we even talked about marriage. It was all very fast, we probably moved too fast in the things we talked about but I really think we had a real connection. Anyways I ended up making the moves to split with my current relationship, and when I told this guy he seemed happy about it. But because my situation is complicated and my partner was making things very difficult for me, and simultaneously, this other guy was having problems with work and was busier and busier, I started to get needy and anxious and would tell him too much about my problems with my partner. This guy was always very sweet and listened to me, but over the course of a few weeks I could feel him pulling back and instead of giving him space I got more needy. We had had plans to meet, but I told him I wanted him to see me when I was strong and not vulnerable. He expressed happiness that I felt this way and he was confident in my ability to be strong, but then I got more anxious again and kept pressing about meeting (he lives in another country). He said yes he wanted to meet still,but I sensed that he was saying this to make me feel better and he was feeling a little hesitant about it at the time because of how anxious I had been acting. Over the course of the following two weeks, we communicated less but he would still check in with me every few days and had mentioned it would be hard for him to meet me because there was only one day which I could do so, but he said he was doing his best. He also informed me at the time that he had had a major financial loss at work and I knew he was very stressed. The next day he told me he had booked a flight, but it was refundable and he wasn’t positive he could be on it because of work issues but he’d let me know by Friday. Well on Thursday night, I f**d everything up. I sent him a message saying I had been thinking and now probably wasn’t the best time to meet considering how much of a mess I was and all he had going on with work. I told him I was glad his tickets were refundable and that I was sure we could meet another time. Well on Friday I didn’t get a response all day, so I sent a message that night saying I hoped he didn’t take what I had said wrong, and that I was happy he had made an effort by buying tickets but that I just felt bad when he was dealing with so much. No response that day, Saturday, or Sunday. By the time Sunday rolled around I had no clue what was going on and I sent about four messages throughout the day asking if he was still coming and that I was stressed not knowing. No response. Then the day before we were supposed to meet, I sent him a long message basically flipping out – asking how could he do this, I thought he was a gentleman, and that I simply didn’t have the emotional capacity to wait for his messages anymore, but I hoped he would be happy. Then I sent another message a few hours later, admitting that I knew I had bombarded him with too many messages and mixed messages and that I knew I was all over the place, and how I wished we could have met after I was independent and after he had dated and they everything would have been magical. I also said I wished the best for him and wanted him to be happy and that I would no longer anticipate hearing from him.
Sometimes men pull away for the same reasons we do . Ex: they have a huge stress related pimple and because most men don’t wear makeup, they can’t hide it, and they are embarrassed. Just because men exhibit different behavior than we do ( all that “manly” conditioning) doesn’t mean they are so different than we are. Let’s stop talking about men and women like we are different species and we need to study each other. Neither men nor women have a collective mind. Let’s just treat each other as individuals and take every case into account. I met the nicest, sweetest guy a year ago. Doesn’t mean it’s all been perfect, but he’s an individual just like I am and this b.s. “guys do this” and “women do that” is just not helpful to anyone. I love my short, stocky, loudmouth best friend/ sometimes bf dearly. First, and foremost, hes my best friend, the best friend I have ever had, when he’s not being a pain in the ass. But he’s still my best friend, and I love him, I hope we will always be friends.
My boyfriend and me are in a long distance relationship. We just spent a week together after 6 months and I cant stop crying now that hes gone. We cried together before he left back for america too. Love is hard but hes worth all of this. Going to throw myself into a part time job over the summer so I dont spend my time missing him. And at the same time, earn money to go and see him too. People should do it
#2 He lacks the skills to effectively communicate. If there is something on his mind or something that is bothering him and he doesn’t know how to express it to you, then he might start to push you away. The biggest problem in this situation is that he’s often unaware himself of what is going on, how to explain it, or how to fix it. Lacking in the capacity to express his feelings or needs, a man often decides that the whole thing is too much trouble and will retreat instead of dealing with it.
I met this guy 6 weeks ago via tinder and we hit it off after 3 weeks. He said he wanted to be exclusive with me and we text and talk everyday even when he’s travelling. The thing is, he is always travelling for work and when I met him back after his 2 weeks of travel (1 week ago) , I was excited to see him but I was facing with a lot of family problems (family member has cancer) that time. He was telling me how much stress he was facing during the last biz trip and I listened and comforted him. Before we parted, I said I needed a break from this relationship as is moving too fast, instead of telling him my family issues. He looked disappointed and said OK and left. He did not initiate any contact with me for the past 1 week except when he just text me arrived safely at the airport that time. The next day I text him saying I am stressed out and feel bad abt what I said to him, he didn’t reply. I text him 2 days later asking is everything OK, he said all good and he’s tired. Then 4 days later I text him that I wanted to rekindle the relationship again, no reply. I’m thinking is he pulling away as I demanded space? But I already said I want to start again. He is coming back in 5 days time. I don’t know what should I do then? Shall I wait for him to contact me or if he doesn’t, means he wants to end with me?
If you’re a woman and have any questions to ask, unsure in regards to your partner, insecure, upset or worried about something, please, share it in this relationship advice for women board and the community can advise and provide caring advice to help you combat your relationship issues. If you aren’t a woman, and you’re a bloke, then we would recommend that you post in our relationship advice for men forum board, you’ll receive better answers there.
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