I read your article and found it useful as this was my first serious relationship and he has decided to ended by ghosting (he did however tried to end it before and pleaded to give us a chance) after texting him concerned about why he is not answering and that was a week after me not contacting him he calls me ending it anws I pleaded for him to come by tmrw so we can talk I wasn’t sure he was going thru it and I ended up going through binge drinking to the extent he came by and saw me all drunk and vunrable he left shortly (I do not remember that much) and ended calling him once and texting him a huge message about admitting what we had was real
It sure is a beautiful feeling to finally find a man you think is perfect for you – loving, caring, sensitive, having a sense of humor and most importantly, respecting and accepting you for who you are. But unfortunately, he is not committing himself to an exclusive relationship with you, despite that there are very obvious signs he likes you. Or worse, he hasn’t given a clear response to your proposal to him, asking him to be your BF. Don’t fret. Asking a guy to commit takes time, and these tried and tested techniques will work wonders.
I garnered that a lot of guys mature late. But he’s 62 perhaps now 63. How late can he get to realize what he wants. And if he still acts unclearly about how he wants to take things with you, then I bet that’s how he wants it to be with you. I’m not a 62 year old guy so I can’t clearly shed light on what your man is really thinking but considering the fact that he has not been married nor had any serious relationship before, then i am 75 percent sure he wouldn’t have one anytime soon. Perhaps what he’s looking for is companionship with benefits and he found that with you. But if you two did finally hit it off, then may your bonds grow stronger.

I reconnected with my ex after four years had gone by we been together now for 6 months the relationship has its ups and downs mostly downs we fight a lot but I love him very much and I want it to work between us he has been pulling back to the point were I’m afraid I’m losing him at first he was with me everyday now I barely see him he doesn’t call when he says he will he doesn’t keep his word it hurts so much so at first I poured my heart out to him over n over again trying to get him to see how much I cared and needed him that made it worse the past few days I’m trying to give him his space keep my mouth shut but it’s so hard I feel so neglected !!!!!!! How long should I give him his space before I confront him ???? This is not ok you can’t be so close to someone then suddenly pull away from them leaving them feelings horrible and rejected!!!!


After an exciting night, don’t get up early and plan bunch of activities. Have a cup of coffee, talk, be lazy, and while having breakfast watch a movie. If you stayed up late, a lazy morning is perfect. Make the couch or a bed your little sanctuary, enjoy each other’s company, and be lazy together. It is important he sleeps over, because it is your territory and you won’t constantly ask yourself whether he’s too nice to tell you to go away.
It sounds like he only wants this to be a friends with benefits relationship. While it seems like he has developed some feelings over the years, he does not want it to be anything more. He has had plenty of time to officially date you if he wanted to, and he hasn’t. As long as you are okay with a friends with benefits relationship, continue seeing him. If you want something more out of a relationship, then you should probably end things with him and move on.
Out of all other advice out there that I was reading, your information is the most that made perfect sense to me, you, at your young age, you have a lot of experience that you were able to collect, organize perfectly and,…help people! It’s an incredible collection that is easy to read, relate and understand, material, which is fun, no BS:), freely given, not always trying to sell another product, deep, personal, open, detailed, incredibly valuable, abundant and helpful not only in relationships between man and woman, but in life in general. When you write about having a particular mindset, you talk about things that was a missing ingredient for me when it came to decide that you really are above a lot of other so called relationship gurus!
Commitment is a funny thing. We allow our desire for it and other people’s promises of it, to blind and paralyze us from seeing and acting upon red/pink flags that are often, right in front of our face from the get-go. “How to get him to commit to a serious relationship,” is something I’ve Googled too many times to count. I ended up finding the answer through life-living, mistake-making, time-wasting decisions that sabotaged the chances of anyone ever wanting to commit to me in any regard.

Have you ever noticed that when you put all of your focus on someone it seems to push them away? That's why removing your focus from your ex will actually draw him closer to you! This is when meeting new friends will come in handy. If you really want your ex to miss you, you need to step outside of your comfort zone a bit. Of course it is important to keep a strong support system and keep the friends that you have made throughout the years, but expanding your social circle and making a few new friends can’t hurt either. By expanding your circle, it will fill up your social calendar with various events and outings to keep you busy and to keep your mind off of your ex.
Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.
They tell us they aren't capable of being in a long-term, exclusive relationship. They tell us they think women are controlling and selfish and don't know how to stop feeling that way. And yet we bypass these statements. The words go in one ear and out the other. Or we remember them but refuse to believe them. We tell ourselves, "He's just wounded!" or "He's lying to protect himself."
Three weeks ago I had birthday and he said he would celebrate with me. Last minute he cancelled due to work so I was very upset:( After that I asked him to not communicate with me because I am angry at him. We went quite for a weeks and later started being in touch but since that time he’s contact me is much less frequent and he never calls me – just text. But he still writes that he loves me so much and he misses me!! I do not understand his behavior… Please tell me what you think…

You are aware that this relationship will be long distance for a minimum of two years. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Decide if this relationship is viable. It is important for him to focus on his work, as Cyprus is currently an unsafe environment. Share your thoughts and feelings with him. Give him a chance to do the same. Have a great day, Jane!
"Not all guys are outright about their interest, but there are certain signs you can definitely look for. If you've developed an inside joke, that's for sure a good thing. How polite is he being? Is he buying drinks? Offering his seat? Walking you home/to the train? Is he staying out way later than he should? Generally trying to make sure you're enjoying yourself? Is it super easy to convince him to get one more round when he has to wake up for work at seven? He might be miserable the next day...but he probably won't mind." Brady O.
They want a woman who answers questions honestly, and perhaps even volunteers information. They want a woman who confidently asks for her wants and needs to be met. They want a woman who can see the truth and tell it like it is while communicating with kindness. Men want a woman who can communicate without being too critical, and who cares about preserving his and her dignity. Women think men want them to be superficial, to keep quiet about their needs or wants, and never to ask for anything. Women think men believe them to be too needy and too sensitive, and that men simply want women to get over it. Some women believe they do not have the permission to tell it like it is, that they will be rejected for speaking up.
If you feel confident at this point that you want things to be serious, go ahead and tell them, Trespicio says. "Explain what kind of relationship you want and why, defining what commitment means for you without giving an ultimatum." If they aren't open to a discussion, let them mull it over for a couple weeks. But if they still don't respond when you bring it up again, it may be time to rethink the relationship. "You have to decide which you want more: someone who's committed or this person, even if he won't ever be," Trespicio says.
He broke u with me in july . He ignored me after I did alot lf begging etc. i started to feel better do my own thing and little by little he contacted me. But They are short answers from him. No saying he misses me. No inclination that he wants to work on us again. I stay nuetral in texts bc I don’t want to seem needy but am I giving the right impression ?
He may have feelings for you. He probably has very strong feelings for you. He likely is concerned that if the two of you develop a relationship at this time, that he will not act in a mature enough manner and may damage your friendship. If you want to move into a relationship with him, then explain that you know that the both of you care about each other and you are not going to hurt him. Let him know that you trust him not to hurt you. Best of luck, Vicki!
Knew this guy in middle school he was in love with me.. lost touch and about 2 months we started talking. But I always have to call him.think he called me twice so far including returned phone calls. And he always dose the talking always when i talk its interruptred are non responcive. ButTalked daily and decided to meet briefly about two weeks ago. We talked for a about 15 20 min.then it went real fast real quick. I said no a few times before I just gave in. Now its we talk every other day to maybe once a week. He’s said a few times about going out before sex and once after but includes that we should end that date with sex. I have asked him where he stands after we had sex the next day made it clear that was not like me and that it was to soon. He said it was built up and he agrees it was soon. Says he is content with his life but then says if he didn’t want to talk to me he’d say so……..I feel like I f***ed up by haven sex to soon and all he wants is ass now. What do u think
He got mad over something stupid and he broke the car window. And blamed me and ever since it’s been messed up he says he never wNts to be w me and he told someone that he feels like he wants to shoot himself aNd that I am controlling I don’t mean to come off like that he has sat and sun off thats a ll the time for my kid and I to spend time w him. What do I do he tells my kid their is nothing to do about it plz I can’t loose him

I didn’t realize it then, but I don’t think I should’ve jumped back into the relationship so quickly. Because very soon afterwards, I started to fall into another slump after I lost two jobs within two months. I was stressed again, and started to feel depressed without realizing how much I put on his shoulders. He never complained. He was there for me. I feel like I took it for granted a little bit.

If someone cheats on you, speaks poorly of you, disrespects you, or makes you feel crazy, inadequate, or unloved, they do not deserve to have your love or attention. There are so many other people and opportunities for you to find joy and happiness in this world. You portray madness when trying to put a square peg in to a circular hole and similarly you don’t need to keep hammering away at a broken relationship. Seek positive relationships instead. Good luck…
Step 2) Post a picture of you having a good time. Instead of him getting the comfort of knowing you are depressed without him in your life, show him you are still out and enjoying life without him needing to be in it. As I have mentioned many times in many articles, men are attracted to happy women. Not only that, he will want you more because he is going to be slightly upset at how un-upset you are. This is human instinct. He is going to want you to miss him, which will in turn make him start to miss you. Remember how having fun is part of this phase? Post a good picture of it!
It’s been 2 weeks since he broke up with me.and he made very clear that he don’t have any feelings left for me.and even if it does it’s all negativity about me in his mind and he don’t want me in any case.he never tried contacting me.we were together since 2 and half years.its a shocking for me.i love him even after his harsh words.his reason of break up is that we argue a lot and that’s true but I asked him to give me a chance but he isn’t ready .i am not in contact with him but nothing is changing.he seems really over me.its not the 1st time that he broke up with me but whenever he did ..he always initiated contacting me and asking for a chance and when this time I asked for a chance ..he is just not ready to give me. Please tell me what to do to make him come back to me?
I am dating a guy in a distance relationship for about three months, at the beggining we felt unbelievable connection soulmate like, he said he wants to marry and have children, he was caring and sweet (flowers, gifts, lots of time together). However I know he cheated on me at the very beginning of dating (I forgived him because that was very fresh relation).
A couple days later he’s still acting distant and he’s being short with me over text and I’ve tried asking him to come over but he’d say he has to clean his house or that he can’t then after goes to hang out with his friends knowing I asked him earlier if he could come over. And usually he would come hang out with me since we haven’t been hanging out instead of going out with his friends. I just feel after that that this is a sign that I need to let him have his space even though we haven’t hanged out in almost a week, I really hope this works because one of my girl friends said that he’s obsessed with me and that he said that I’m the ONE. He’s even thought of wedding ideas I mean c’mon he sounds like he’s head over heals for me right? and I just don’t see him going from loving me so much to distancing himself from me and not even wanting to see each other it seems. Maybe it was something I said to him over text to make him upset? I just don’t know but I will do anything to go back to the status of what our relationship was once before this all happened.

The best new boyfriend advice is to drop any effort on your part to close that space. Resist the temptation to ask him what’s wrong or to step up your efforts in order to get a response from him. Don’t call him or email him or drop by his place. Let him make the choice to come to you. When he does, it also makes you feel better. It makes you feel desired by him.
Like the advice but now I feel the connection I thought I may have had has gone from me towards the 2 year boyfriend ( we live apart & I have 1 child still at home with me). Its fine he can have his past times of long fishing trips & he likes to control the pace of the relationship. My problem is that now I do not care enough about a relationship with him anymore, so does any one else have this problem?
I always end up missing my boyfriend, we see each other at school but when we depart, especially on the weekends, I always end up missing him, I always would end up spam messaging him unintentionally and constantly messaging him since he's always busy and we rarely text often. I'll learn not to do that anymore, I also taught myself to stop thinking of him constantly to where it would stop me from doing my work. All I know is that I will see him again and he will text me back soon... I do love him, but I have to try keeping it healthy for us.
Wow!! All I can say is thank you for writing. You have an awesome way of saying things, straight to the point no BS. This is what people need I tell all my friends about anew mode, lol I even quote some things you say on Facebook. I’ve been married for twelve years and I love reading your articles because it makes me a better person, wife lover!! Thanks again!
While it is a good idea to talk things through if you want to define what your relationship is, you should go easy on placing labels. Putting pressure early on to what you have, even if it is something special could lead to its premature death. Instead look out for signs that you are going steady like seeing each other exclusively, being updated with each other’s activities, and getting to know someone’s friends and family.

Love is not a game and unless you don’t want to be in a relationship anymore, don’t play games with him. He hasn’t done anything specifically wrong and you shouldn’t punish him for not saying he misses you. Being in love with someone and missing them doesn’t mean you should play with their mind. If he sees you’re living your life and having fun, he will soon want to express his feelings a little more. Remember it’s not easy for guys to understand what us women are thinking. If you go about something in the wrong way it can often be perceived differently to how you want it too.
Being supportive is a great way to remind him of why he is in a relationship with you and enjoys being around you. Therefore, when he rants about his jerk boss or complains about where he is at, be supportive. Respond in a supportive way. Be on his side. Make him feel like he’s not alone in the world when he feels alone in the world. Doing that will make him wish that you – the one person who always gets him and supports him – was by his side. And, when he does get home to you, he will feel relieved that he’s back around his number one fan and companion.
I’ve been separated for 2 years now and was always trying to read about relationships, and understand what went wrong in my situation. So one after another, and onother so so book purchase lead me finally to your book! I pushed myself and finally started dating again. I’m dating this guy for one month now and your articles are absolutely priceless and of a high value to me! I would even really like to have a session of your advice in person, if it’s possible:), maybe you visit Boston any time soon?:)
I meet a guy couple months ago,he live in new york ,i live in Georgia.when we first meet we talk on the phone and text every day.now its like every other week if any,also his not calling me when his home.he’ll call me on his way to work or home.what should I do on his birthday I asked him for his address so I can mail him a card,and he said no cause,he doesn’t like woman to send him gifts on his birthday?

It sure is a beautiful feeling to finally find a man you think is perfect for you – loving, caring, sensitive, having a sense of humor and most importantly, respecting and accepting you for who you are. But unfortunately, he is not committing himself to an exclusive relationship with you, despite that there are very obvious signs he likes you. Or worse, he hasn’t given a clear response to your proposal to him, asking him to be your BF. Don’t fret. Asking a guy to commit takes time, and these tried and tested techniques will work wonders.

"It's a turnoff for me when a girl pretends to like something just because I like it. 'You like the Knicks? Weird, I love the Knicks! Who's that tall one again? Who are you and what are your interests? If we disagree about stuff, let's have fun disagreeing about it and if any of it winds up being too important, then, well, it won't work out and that's fine." Miles P.
Hi, this is great and motivating article! Thank you! I just got a question as my ex said he don’t feel the same anymore as I do. He says love faded? Our life was difficult for starters and I was there for him always and now I feel that he stand on his feet and gained confidence back so he don’t need me. Although we decided I will move out which is hard. We lived out of know where which is isolating so I think that didn’t help. I strongly want to believe all these tips I’ll help. But it’s hard to know I must move out and just leave him there. I am having holiday now and after moving out. How long will it take to get him back? Will this really work?
Typically, men love to see their woman as a prize that they need to work for. They see the woman that they choose to be with as an accomplishment and as someone that took work to earn. It might sound a little silly but it’s true. Men love to know a woman has a mind of her own, is confident, and isn’t easy to get. So, men pull away when women get too clingy. Do not start canceling all your plans to be available to him every day all day.
I have been in love with the same guy for about three years,in the beginning he told me he did not want anything serious …so I did distance my self for a little while, however now we spend all are time together…going to the gym, going to his friends place cooking together …he keeps contact with me through out the day…it seems very much like a relationship with out a title…
I was in a relationship with I guy where I pulled away because I fell in love with him and I needed time to process it. I didnt tell him how I felt. I still texted a little, maybe every second/third day just a bit over two weeks, but by the time I came back, he was moody, and started drifting a little from me. He then wanted time apart because he couldn’t deal with my emotional boundary I put up before. So I told him the issues I had and that I fell in love with him. So while we gave each other space, we missed each other. I was happy to see him when I cane back but he begged me to fall right back into the relationship too fast and it was all a very confusing mix of blaming and missing me and I found myself backing away again. Thats when I decided to stopped seeing him, even though I loved him.
I experienced this just recently with my man as he was really stressed out with work and started being distant. I backed off and did not call or text him. I started letting him do all the work and it only took about a week for him to miss me like crazy. He even said he didn’t know what had come over him but he couldn’t stop thinking about me all day. In that time, I started a new workout and got busy. He loved that and now he’s giving me all this attention again. Don’t be scared to give your man space ladies and do you. It’s healthy and helps you to take better care of you too.

OMG…I think we’re in the same exact place. And after reading this article, I think I know exactly what to do. I’ve been so consumed with getting hurt again, that I’ve totally missed the fact that the guy I was previously dating kept wanting to hold on to me, even though he keeps saying he doesn’t want a relatinship. THAT’S A CLEAR TED FLAG FOR ME. I recently broke it off with him because he refused to commit, but the next time, I’ll get it right….THIS ARTICLE IS SO PROFOUND!
As seductive as that sounds, we’re not talking strictly about the bedroom. (Although, don’t be shy about showing off your best moves in that area, either.) Our bodies communicate for us whether we’re aware of it or not. Sometimes we subconsciously pick up on the vibe someone is giving us without even realizing it. In most conversations, what we remember is not necessarily what the person said but how they made us feel.
"It's a turnoff for me when a girl pretends to like something just because I like it. 'You like the Knicks? Weird, I love the Knicks! Who's that tall one again? Who are you and what are your interests? If we disagree about stuff, let's have fun disagreeing about it and if any of it winds up being too important, then, well, it won't work out and that's fine." Miles P.
So, let’s start with why this has become such a common trend in our 21st century of dating. Now more than ever, men are finding it hard to commit to a woman. This is especially true when there are so many outside sources that hinder commitment and so many women who are not being authentic and true to who they are and what they want. It’s like this saying I heard a while back. “Once sex got easier to get, love got harder to find.” This may be true to an extent and we can discuss further why.

Immediately pump the brakes on everything you’ve currently been doing, and completely go MIA for a bit. The key is to pull back just a little bit, and give your guy the opportunity to really miss you. This pull back technique will not only make him crave you, but it will make him wonder if there’s another guy in your life who has your attention. He will soon realize that he misses having you in his life, and he doesn’t want to run the risk of another guy swooping in to steal you away! It won’t be long before he’s finally making things official with you.


I recently broke up with my partner of 5 years. We have our ups and downs, sometimes we are fine but most of the time we argue about the smallest things. We were very comfortable with each other, i wouldn’t say our relationship was the most exciting, however he was very good to me. He would put me first and every time we argued, he would come back to me first. This time however, we argued again and I tried to resolve the issue however, I think he had reached his limit with me. I initiated the breakup the day because I was so angry, so we ignored each other for a week. I pretty much got over it and wanted things to go back to normal, so I asked him if he wanted to break up for real and he said yes. Being the stubborn and prideful person that I am, I just stayed silent and let it happened. He then moved out of my place and since then we haven’t spoken to each other. Although I was the one who initiated the breakup, it feels like he was the one who broke up with me because deep down, I did not want to break up. I guess I was just too stubborn to say otherwise. I thought that he would come back to me like he usually does but this time he did not. I ended up blocking him on everything, something I wished I didn’t do because now I want to talk to him, but can’t because my pride won’t allow me to unblock him. I did unblock him one time to contact him to tell him to pick up the rest of his things at my place. He then asked to see me one more time for ‘old time sakes’ which was heart wrenching for me because the whole time I thought maybe he would come back to me, but from that one sentence, it finally made me realise that it really was the end and he did not want to get back with me. Instead of saying how I really felt during that time (that I was no longer angry and I missed him and wanted him back) I ended up cutting all ties with him by saying that I never wanted to see him again and what’s done is done. Now I fully regret what I said because I really do want him back. Since then, he has not spoken to me and I really want to message him. My mind wants to do it but my body won’t let me. Personally, I can see why the no contact rule would work. It normally works for me, but I guess everyone has a limit and if you are going to ignore someone for so long then there is a higher chance they will take that as you not caring and will move on with their life. Although I am not going to contact him despite missing him and regretting breaking up with him, I just want to say that if you really like someone and you want them back, throw away your pride and stubbornness and just message them. Tell them how you feel. If they still love you, they will come back to you, if they don’t then they will say so. Only then will you get closure and move on with your life. After reading everyone’s experience, I would say the easiest thing for your mind and heart is just to communicate with your ex and see where you stand. Don’t be like me and hold back what you want to say because at the end of the day, it will only make you feel more regretful. Basically how I feel right now because I can’t seem to take my own advice lol.
This is essentially the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic relationship. A healthy relationship is one where two people feel fulfilled by their individual lives and let that joy and sense of fullness spill into their relationship. They each bring something to the table and can comfortably give and receive. A dysfunctional relationship is when one or both people believes the other person can “give them” something or that there’s something to “get” from the other person.
Talk to your boyfriend about anything that has been going on in his life. Listen to what he has to say. Show him that you are interested to know all about it. By being a good listener, you will make him miss your presence all the time. Remember not to ask too many intruding questions as that could be a turn off. Don’t be so suspicious of him as he might think that you don’t trust him as well.
So my ex girlfriend broke up with me and she was in a new relationship about a week after she wanted to meet for vacation. She posted on Facebook the new relationship they exchanged I love yous on there so they must of had some friendship before. I was last out to visit long distance relationship in May and then June. June started out I love you first few days then ended up giving ring back after we were both a distant from each other. She grabbed my leg rubbed back of neck on drive to airport so she Was struggling with it or testing me. She contacted me a few times after saying she missed me was a mistake to let me go or she did it so I didn’t have to leave my family. Then 3 days after she wanted to vacation together, she said forget it, was emotional pms and little hung over. Then 7 days later new post on new bf.
It is going to be a year that we broke up. We are both on our early 50’s. He would hardly ever contact me for the first 8 months but for the last 3 months he has been emailing me and/or texting, he doesn’t have social media. After our break up (which he tells me it was because he couldn’t give me what I wanted) he became involved with someone totally the opposite of me, but cheated on her. He did introduce her to his family as a friend. Our text messages were at first him telling me that he would never see or talk to me again. But will continue to text me some times during the day and mostly during the evening, especially after 11 PM. Our messages have become very intimate. He asked me to come over 3 weeks ago for the first time since we broke up(he had said he would not invite me over again) with the excuse that his back hurt and that I was the only person that could help him. I stopped by (it was after 11 PM) and gave him his back massage for about an hour. I realize he was extremely turned on but we did not get intimate that night. I went home after and he asked me to please text him to let him know I was home safely, which was our routine when we were together before. I texted him the next morning to ask him how was his back feeling but he did not reply, in fact he did not text me again for 7 days. His brother passed away and I sent him my condolences and had a sympathy card for him and his family. I finally saw him again at a car wash before his brother’s funeral and he hugged me tightly when I gave him a hug with my sympathy. Last Friday he asked me to come over again after 11 PM because of his back. I did it again, I went over his place and fixed his back, only this time we were very intimate, but he refused to have intercourse, only other things. We helped each other to a release, but when I tried to go all the way he said NO, we are not doing that. Again he has not texted me back and it has been 4 days. I am so confused. I am not sure if he was using me or if he really did miss me. I have no idea if he still with the other person since I have not asked him. We were together for 2 years before breaking up, we were the best of friends and talked every day and night. He called me and texted me every day when he went away on a cruise with his friends. We enjoyed each other’s company and loved watching football games, which this girl hates any sports. I am not sure what to think. My best friends tells me he is using me, his son tells me he is confused. Please help me understand this man. I love him and I really believed he cared for me. I just don’t know what to think or if it is worth waiting a little bit longer to see if he just gets his mind straight. Thank you!
Hi, I am a 61 year old widow and dating a 62 year old man for going on 2 years now, he has never been married or in a serious relationship for any length of time before. He tells me randomly that he loves me and we spend almost all our time together. He is hesitant to move in with me because he says he wants to be 100% sure of his feelings. He says that sometimes he doesn’t feel love or attraction and then other times he does. He hasn’t been with anyone else since we met and we are neighbors and friends and enjoy doing multiple things together. I am trying not to push too hard because I have the feeling he does love me and maybe this will go somewhere. Other times, I doubt his love for me because he doesn’t just come out and make a commitment to me. Am I being too needy in wanting a commitment and him to move in with me after almost 2 years of dating? What advice would you give me in regards to this relationship? I have met his entire family and we spend holidays together with them and I get along great with them. He asks my advice on things and shares details of his past life and relationships and mistakes he has made in life. He also shares all his goals and dreams with me and asks me to help him make decisions on things because he has a hard time making decisions on things. I don’t want to hang on if there will never be love but at the same time I don’t want to let go of something good because he does treat me with respect and will randomly say I love you and is always hugging me and kissing me and doesn’t only demand sex out of the relationship.
I havent talked to him since then and this happened saturday im so hurt and I cant stop crying. He told me give him a week before we start talking again. (How do I deal with this???)I dont know what to do I can’t stop thinking about him and I keep checking my phone for him to text me. Does he miss me? He told me hes there for me but how can I talk to him if its about us he knows how I feel and he still left in hurt so much its killing me I havent been able to eat or sleep properly…. I don’t wanna wait but I know I have to I cant get him out of my mind. His close friend told me we were around each other to much and said we just need time apart. Everyone I talk to tells me give him space he misses me and thinks we will get back together. Its so hard from one point seeing him every day talking every day to nothing at all. I want him back so bad. It hurts so much and I don’t know what to do all I can do is give him time and wait for him to talk to me again…. Please any advise or what you think will help me.

There’s a fine line between being your most charming self and getting lost in mind-games. One way to help distinguish which side of that line you’re on is whether or not you feel like you’re being yourself. If you find yourself resorting to methods that don’t feel true to you, that’s a red flag. Even if you do manage to snag the object of your affection, are you really going to want to keep up these tricks during the relationship?


If you want him to miss you, you can use social media as your advantage. Update your social media feed so he can see all the fun you’re having. Guys are definitely more visual creatures so give him something good to look it and he’ll be hooked, which brings you to the next step. But make sure you do not fabricate fake posts, just be you, be fun, and be authentic.
Yes!!! I made this mistake with my boyfriend when he said he wanted some space and instead i just kept pushing and pushing to fix things. Everything just got worse. It’s absolutely torture to try to not interact with the person you love but if he is having doubts, bugging him will prob make him pull away more and if he is having doubts in the first place maybe things aren’t meant to be. My whole philosophy is that if someone doesn’t enjoy being with me then I don’t want to be with them either.
Ok so my relationship with my ex was amazing! eveverything was good! I’m 28 and he’s 41! we met at work and we just connected immediately! my mom died 8 months ago and ever since then we have had a strain and it’s been a little hard but he knows what I’m going through because his mom also passed 10 years ago! my ex has never been the commitment type but he was with me for 3 years! even he said I am the only girl he’s ever loved and actually cared about! But then he wanted this break with me but was still contacting me and seeing me 3 times a week atleast! But then he cheated! he strayed and he always said he would! but it was just out of no where! he still says he loves me and maybe one day we can be together but we just need space! but I don’t get it cuz he still wants to talk to me and make sure I’m doing good! this break up had been really hard on me especially since my mom just died and he was the only one there for me! please help me I don’t know how to take control of this break up! He’s holding all the cards right now and I hate it!
Thanks, and I am happy you enjoy the articles. It seems as though you gave him too much early on. I know right now it hurts but what I would suggest you do is focus on you and what makes you happy. Push away a little bit because he has to feel as though he is losing you too. Slow the pace of things when he reaches back out and don’t come off too eager for a relationship. The one thing I have to mention here is if he is not ready for a relationship with you then you cannot force this. The best thing you can do is take a step back and let him pursue you.
So you’ve mastered the ways to stop a man from withdrawing, and everything seemed to be headed in a rosier direction, it’s time to implement some positive communication skills. Once you’ve calmed down from analyzing and you’ve created some much-needed space, it’s time to figure out how to express how you’re feeling without causing more ripples in your relationship.
I hope this article helped you better understand why guys pull away. But there is more you need to be aware of. Most guys will start to pull away at some point. They may even lose interest. You may notice he’s acting colder and he’s less responsive and attentive to you. Do you know how to handle it when this happens? If not, you run the risk of making a common, and major, mistake that might push him further away so be sure to read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
    "...in examining women's marital quality and men's emotional investments in marriage, we find that dyadic commitment to institutional ideals about marriage and women's contentment with the division of household tasks are more critical. We also show that men's marital emotion work is a very important determinant of women's marital quality. We conclude by noting that "her" marriage is happiest when it combines elements of the new and old: that is, gender equity and normative commitment to the institution of marriage."1
When you spend time apart, share your fun times with your man. It’s important he knows you’re able to have fun without him. After you spend a few nights away from your man, he may be happy you’re having a good time, but he’ll also become jealous. You want him to wish he’s the one helping you have fun. This is a great strategy if you want to reunite with an old flame. Make him see all of the fun he’s missing without you. If he sees how much fun you’re having his going to want to come along on your next adventure. This is also a good time to start updating your social media feed so he can see all the fun you’re having. Guys are definitely more visual creatures so give him something good to look it and he’ll be hooked, which brings us to our next step.
Yes!!! I made this mistake with my boyfriend when he said he wanted some space and instead i just kept pushing and pushing to fix things. Everything just got worse. It’s absolutely torture to try to not interact with the person you love but if he is having doubts, bugging him will prob make him pull away more and if he is having doubts in the first place maybe things aren’t meant to be. My whole philosophy is that if someone doesn’t enjoy being with me then I don’t want to be with them either.
We broke up so sudden. I said one thing he didn’t like and it was like a switch. He had flipped just like that. Then all of a sudden all these problems he’s been thinking about has came up. I’m still trying to understand them. I’m still trying to understand which reasonings he said are actually true and which aren’t. It’s been 4 days, ive texted him once. No reply. I havent tried again, and I refuse to. I would hate to push him away further.

In my previous article about the ugly truths of online dating, I shared a story about how my current partner would get rebuffed time and again, simply for stating that she was a feminist. She would have built rapport with multiple men. They would ask her what she studied and what she’s interested or into. The second she mentioned she was a feminist (in passing, mind you)—guys stopped responding and sending her messages.
He was supposed to buy his ticket to visit, and he had not. When I got home he called me. When I asked if he was still visiting, he said he wanted more, he did not know me as well as he would like, the calls were not building the relationship for him and seeing each other once a month would not be enough. That day and that day only during our calls, I said I knew the two months would be hard, that we still should get to know each other, that it thought we were falling, and that I while not there, I could have seen him as my husband (not yet, but could see it). I felt confused as he had been leading, initiating most calls, was the one saying love you, and asking to talk. He said that I was great emotionally and verbally and he did value me. I finally said, I want you to have what you want and wish you the best.
My ex (5 month relationship) broke up with me two months ago and a week later went straight to a rebound relationship. He text me out of the blue and asked me how I was and then said we should go get food. He also said that he wants to just be friends. So my question is, why the heck is he texting me to go get food when he is still dating his “rebound”?! I still have feelings for him and he knows that. Hence the reason he told me he just wants to be friends. Everybody knows you can’t be “just friends” with a guy you still have feelings for. I feel like he is playing games with me and going to get food is only going to hurt me more….knowing he doesn’t want to date me. What should I do? Not go? Or TRY to be “Just Friends”??

Let's start with a simple truth. Men don’t want to feel like they’re being hooked, especially in the beginning of a relationship. This has something to do with our innate desire for freedom and our need to feel like we’re in control. Not to say that we’re not open to the idea of settling down and being satisfied in a monogamous relationship with you, but the second we detect that these are your intentions, we either stop returning your phone calls or start figuring out ways to escape without hurting your feelings. Understanding the basics of how we think in this situation will go a long way toward producing the results that you desire. So don’t judge what follows as being politically incorrect or rude. Be warned that this is not about what’s right or wrong, respectful or disrespectful. This book is about one thing — the raw truth.
My guts tells me his friends made him see things negative about our future and distance. i said to step back just to say something but what i meant is to go back to positive and same as we were… i am not planning on contacting him. you are right about not bothering him and make him miss me and if he does he will contact me. but i know he will contact me eventually but i want us to be as before. btw he is an entrepreneur sort of has his own business too in Sweden.
Anyway, while at the birthday party, he was asking me what I was doing later, even though I wasn’t doing anything. He left once it ended saying he was going over to his friend’s house. I had sent him a picture of a dog I was watching that he made a joke about, but he didn’t respond all night until the next morning, which was brief and he stopped texting after the second message. He texted me today asking for his Comcast information, said thank you, then never responded once I said you’re welcome.
So over the long weekend my boyfriend comes down to visit me. He lives 2 hours away. he came down the saturday afternoon and everything was going great. On Monday morning, i could hear zippers zipping up downstairs at 9am. I woke up and saw him packing his clothes. he told me he wanted to get home to workout and go for a run. I asked him if he wanted anything to eat and he just said “no i want to get going.” Before he left he said goodbye to me and stared at me for the longest time. I asked him if anything was wrong, and he replied back saying “no everything is fine dont worry”. I knew something was up with the way he just looked me. He hugged me goodbye and left. When he got back home i got a phone call. He called and said he was not good and we needed to talk. He stated that “I am a beautiful girl, and the best girlfriend he has had, but he doesnt see us getting married, he doesnt see me in his future.” He has been depressed lately because of his job, but I had no clue this was going to happen. There was no signs showing a breakup since we never really had problems. We had a great weekend, and then he goes home and calls me to break up with me. It does not make sense? Anyone have any suggestions or reasons why he all of a sudden did this to me?
If you know the actual reason why your boyfriend or husband is acting distant and not giving you the attention and time that you deserve you will be able to correct the situation and get his attention back. The key is to try to understand the reason behind your man’s cold and distant behavior. Here are the possible reasons why men withdraw in a relationship.
Long story.. before meeting my ex he said he wasn’t looking for anything serious. Once we met we clicked and after a few months we were both Grtting attached. We wound up pregnant and he totally stepped up! Wanted to be together fully and it reflected in his actions. We lost the baby but still stayed together. He even suggested trying again. Two months later he was working a lot and we were drifting. He stopped trying. We always got along wonderfully when we were together.grest chemistry, best friends. We just clicked. We slowly broke up without it even being clear to me why. He had no valid explanation other than he wasn’t ready to settle down . We were broken up a month and he would still send me random texts frequently. Last week he called me wanting to hang out but I had plans. He decided to go out in the same area I was and blew up my phone asking me where I was so he could meet up with me. I finally gave in. He sat me down and cried to me about how much he loved me, missed me.. he had a nightmare I was on a date and woke up in a complete panic. He told me how bad he wanted the baby with me and how much it screwed him up. After an emotional catch up , I went home with him. The next morning he said he wanted to get back together, that he didn’t realize what he had until he lost it.. that he has always loved me.,( he only told me this twice the entire time we dated) he probably told me 15 times though this time. He cuddled, talked and made love most the day. He asked me to come back that night ( he had to go to work) and that he wanted to make me dinner. I can’t back later.. he told me he ended things with this girl he was hanging out with, for me. He deleted his dating apps in front of me. All of this was completely his decision. We spent the night together again. Everthing was wonderful and natural. The following night he stated he didn’t wabt to rush back into it so fast…which led to him not being ready.. freaking out and completely changing his mind. Obviously im blindsided and completely heartbroken. What in the world happened?!

Answer: Just because dopamine is not being produced naturally, that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to create it. You have to turn on the heat sometimes to bring the magic back. A relationship takes work, especially in the sex department. Find ways to turn him on and he will be running back into your arms. [Read: 13 spicy sex positions to heat up your bedroom romps]
My guy is actually not in town and we hardly talk then there’s this other guy I met through a friend he’s so friendly and nice we talk like every single day and we talk like more than an hour but we’re not in a relationship and my guy and I haven’t spoken this long.please I need some help here because I don’t know what to do and I really love my bf alot…… words can’t explain what I feel for him
Hi.. My ex-boyfriend and I were in a LDR since end of 2014 and I cut off with him mid last year. The relationship was pretty turbulent but our feelings were passionate and intense. The reason for the ultimate disconnection was something he did. Since, I have not contacted him nor has he reached out to me – it’s almost going to be 10 months. I have been living my life – the past 6 months had me pretty preoccupied abroad even though he has been in my heart and mind. I still care about him deeply. I haven’t been productive these past few weeks as I was in the 6 months and that has me thinking even more about us. I miss him a lot. I have found myself doing what I can to know his current state via social media – his recent posts reflect sadness. What I would like to know is – is it possible for him to reach out to me after not having done so all these months, or is it unlikely? I feel like our story isn’t over and that he too still has me in his heart. I just find myself hoping that I will hear from him. He was blocked most of this time and I recently unblocked him. Answers and suggestions will be appreciated. I feel life is short, but I don’t wish to initiate any contact because rightfully he ought to reach out to me.
I hope this article helped you better understand the signs a guy is pulling away. Now that you know what to look for, do you know how to deal with it? The fact is, men inevitably pull away and different points in a relationship for various reasons. The way you respond will determine if the relationship succeeds or ends. Do you know what to do to re-ignite his interest when he pulls away? If not, read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
Big mistake! How can he possibly miss you if you’re giving him the same amount of time you always give him? The “gift of missing you” means that you keep all communications BRIEF. You have obligations to hang out with your girlfriends, not divide your time between them and him. Frankly, it’s disrespectful to your friends…and all it really shows him is that you’re a pushover. Men take advantage of weak women.

I have been in love with a guy for over ten years now and we both love each other, all of a sudden he started seeing another girl and when I confronted him about that he told me it’s true that he’s seeking another girl but he didn’t mean to and he’s madly in love with her. So I told him that we should quit but he said no that he still want to marry me. I don’t know but I think he want to marry me out of petty. I’m confused cos I love him, please l need ur help.


Ladies…all I can say is if you feel insecure about your looks then make yourself more attractive for YOU! Not for a man. There’s nothing that increases a woman’s feelings of insecurity more than doing something to herself FOR a man, or for the purpose of attracting men. It may make you feel confident and powerful in the short term, but that feeling doesn’t last if your focus is on doing it for him. Your purpose should be feeling better about yourself and increasing your own confidence regardless of men. What men seem to forget is that women are not on this earth solely for their pleasure. How you feel about yourself should be totally independent of what men think.


I reconnected with my ex after four years had gone by we been together now for 6 months the relationship has its ups and downs mostly downs we fight a lot but I love him very much and I want it to work between us he has been pulling back to the point were I’m afraid I’m losing him at first he was with me everyday now I barely see him he doesn’t call when he says he will he doesn’t keep his word it hurts so much so at first I poured my heart out to him over n over again trying to get him to see how much I cared and needed him that made it worse the past few days I’m trying to give him his space keep my mouth shut but it’s so hard I feel so neglected !!!!!!! How long should I give him his space before I confront him ???? This is not ok you can’t be so close to someone then suddenly pull away from them leaving them feelings horrible and rejected!!!!

We broke up so sudden. I said one thing he didn’t like and it was like a switch. He had flipped just like that. Then all of a sudden all these problems he’s been thinking about has came up. I’m still trying to understand them. I’m still trying to understand which reasonings he said are actually true and which aren’t. It’s been 4 days, ive texted him once. No reply. I havent tried again, and I refuse to. I would hate to push him away further.
I know that what this article writes it’s true. At the same time, do I really want a person with which I have to lie about my true feelings? I am very intense, passionate, and so talk a lot about what so feel and what ai think. I feel hurt of I am not in his priorities, if he never calls me or if he says he is not sure of what he wants. Of course it would be better for the lenght of the relationship stay quiet and wait. But would I feel really fullfilled and loved just tolerating?
Commitment problems can come from a wide range of places. Perhaps they had a relationship that was horrible and their ex cheated on them. This would obviously make them hesitant to commit to someone else. They may also have parent issues that explain their commitment issues. First, you need to figure out why they are that way so you can tailor your behavior to make them want to commit. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but has commitment issues]
On the flip side, some men will pull away just as much if their date strongly insists that they must pay their own share. As callous as this may sound, most of us have egos bigger than Mt. Kilimanjaro, yet are as fragile as a fly. Trying to assert dominance in this situation may make your date run away. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, I confess… we can be just as confusing to you, as women are to us.
well, i agreed (how could i not, he’s cute ;) ). i wasn’t sure if he’d show up. but he did. he did cook n it was awesome. during the party he asked me not to leave the city. when i told him i had no reason to stay back. he said there may be now. so we saw each other everyday after that. went out . he really took care of me, shared about his family. we really like each other. he even said lotta times he really liked me and that he was sad i was leaving. asked me to stay, coupla times. but i really needed to leave. he even came to see me off. things changed totally after i left. he did not call. when i did, he spoke normally and said he had been caught up. later after a week or two, he did nt show any interest to call. so i stopped calling too. once i called him n asked what was goin on. to my surprise he said we enjoyed together. but he cant do long distance. I’m flabbergasted how can anyone just shut off things just like that. was he pretending all the while?
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