This one is tough, but assuming you have mastered listening skills you can certainly do this. We need support, friendly advice and someone who will understand us. When he has a problem, don’t start telling him what he should have done or telling him he is the one to be blamed. Listen, cheer him up a bit and just be there for him. Next time when he has a problem or is sad, he will look for you to help him go through that.

Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to have to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing. Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.

This worked for me. I started dating a fella who was fresh out of a committed, live-in relationship and said he was unlikely to call anyone his girlfriend anytime soon. I didn’t say, “Oh yeah, buster, well you better decide now or I’m out!” I didn’t force him into having The Talk (read why to avoid this). I liked the guy. So I made sure I blew his mind and made him earn it. I did my thing, kept my life going and made it clear if he wanted to see me, he had to let me know. When we were together, I made him feel like a million bucks.


My bf and I dated for about 4 months when we first met I actually didn’t want to be with him and he wouldn’t leave me alone eventually he got me and I became dependent on him for my happiness I was also depressed so I kept throwing myself on him to make him want me more so naturally he lost feelings for me and 2 days ago finally told me how he likes me but only enough to be friends and worse he felt we weren’t going anywhere and felt he will never fall in love with me and of course I was sobbing on the phone asking all these questions he said we can be friends he’s a guy who’s like a brick wall trying to get him to feel a certain way for you on purpose is impossible even tho he is like this and feel this way is it possible to get him back??
You need a bit of mystery to get him to miss you, this is something not to forget. If you’re an avid social media user, don’t update your status too frequently, limit the number of pictures you share, and pause on the Facebook quizzes for the time being. Or if you want to take a Facebook quiz go ahead but just don't share the results, as that can be very annoying for anyone on your newsfeed. Additionally, don’t interact with your special guy on social media. If he posts a status or picture, don’t comment or even like the post. Did he share a story on Snapchat? Resist viewing it. Maintain the image that you’re too busy to obsess about his social media activity. It could be hard to do because he looks so cute in his latest Insta photo but you’ll have to be strong. Resist him now and he’ll be yours later!

Long story short, if I had taken the advice of this article, he may have never cone back to me. When he was weak and kicking himself for messing up, he pulled back. Pulled back so far that he couldn’t see the potential that I did for us. I was able to be strong and fight for what I wanted, and show him that there are other kinds of women out there who won’t “hate him” for accidentally falling asleep and missing our date. I’ve shown him what true love is, and now that he sees he can be loved, he has given his full heart to me.
One of the most important pieces of relationship advice for women is to have fun with your partner. Being able to joke around, go on adventures, and laugh together as a couple will help you be better able to weather any future storms that may arise. You and your partner should make an effort to go out, bring back date night, travel to exotic places, and try new things as a couple in order to keep the spark alive between the two of you. So instead of sitting on the couch each night binge-watching Netflix, take your relationship out of the house and find new and exciting activities to try.
It seems counterintuitive, but experts' No. 1 piece of advice is to never to bring up the DTR (a.k.a. define the relationship, or "what are we?") conversation. "It's like going to a party, turning off the music, turning on the lights, and asking, 'Are we all having a good time here?'" Trespicio says. "A good relationship is built on momentum, and putting a stop to the fun to 'check in' is a surefire way to kill the romance." (Related: Why Your Anxiety Disorder Makes Online Dating So Damn Hard)

Women have an innate desire to be heard and understood. They want a partner who will listen to them without judgment and who will create an environment where they feel comfortable expressing vulnerability. Some of the best relationship advice for men is learning to master the skill of empathy. There are many ways to be empathetic, which include active listening, suspending any judgment or preconceived notions you may have about a given situation and putting yourself in her shoes, and showing positive body language to let her know that you’re engaged in the conversation.

Long story short, this article helped put things in perspective again. I’m going to try my Damndest to give him space when he seems to pull away, play the cool understanding girl a little while longer, & endure. I do love him with every ounce of my heart & soul. I have always been a very confident person & have NEVER let anyone “treat me” this way. But, I’ve also never loved someone so deeply nor with this personality type before.


So true! You can’t coerce someone to be with you. When a guy wants to be with you they just will. That is what happened with my current boyrfriend. We dated before and he didn’t want a commitment. We broke up and dated other people. We started talking again after many months of being apart, became friends for some time and began spending more time together. It naturally came together well and after time we verbally agreed that we were together and just wanted to be with each other. End of story. It’s very simple.
“Can you tell me why men pull away?” This is one of the most common questions I hear in my coaching sessions. So why do they pull away? In this article, I am going to walk you through different scenarios that can shed light on why this may be happening to you and give you a different perspective to reflect on and make this stop once and for all. This is a common trend in today’s society, and if you have landed on this article, I know that you have probably been directly affected by it or are afraid of experiencing this with someone you’re interested in.
This is absolutely no excuse for you to be cheated on. Your independence is important and if he wanted the attention he should have spoken to you about this before he cheated instead of cheating and then placing blame on you. This is narcissistic behavior and I encourage you to stay strong. If you need further help you can reach out to me for a private coaching session here so I can guide you towards working through this. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/
Long story short, this article helped put things in perspective again. I’m going to try my Damndest to give him space when he seems to pull away, play the cool understanding girl a little while longer, & endure. I do love him with every ounce of my heart & soul. I have always been a very confident person & have NEVER let anyone “treat me” this way. But, I’ve also never loved someone so deeply nor with this personality type before.

Dear Adam, We broke up with my ex last March and he wanted it, he suddenly cut everything after a nice day we spent together and it was a new kinda relationship for 2.5 months (I know you think I am crazy but it was intense 2.5 months 🙂 and he called me as girlfriend after 2 weeks and after 1.5months he said that I don’t remember lmfabo ) )He is also divorced man 6 years ago. I used no contact rule and it kinda worked. As you said, that distance helped me to understand what was wrong by my side and his side. I read a lot of book and watched a lot podcast. After almost 7 months we saw each other but you know things happened in same day. He thought I tried to get commitment from him but he open the conversation actually. After that day, we texted each other and he said that “I just want to take our time. I cut to talk again around 5 days .Probably he sees someone else too and I should say he is acting very professional like how you call may be playballll lol .
Being friends with benefits makes it easy for him to get what he wants and often results in men pulling away. Maintaining a real friendship without an attachment of the desired outcome can give him the opportunity to see you in a different light when he is ready. It’s important to keep your options open and not focus all of your energy on one person if you know what I mean. 😉
The energy you put into the relationship is the only thing that matters. Putting in energy doesn’t come from a self-absorbed place, it isn’t attached to feelings of anxiety, fear, worry, anger, rage, resentment. You are outside of yourself and putting energy into giving him that “extra something” that makes you valuable, rare, and inspirational to the guy.
2. Thoughtful, honest behavior. Women like men who are honest about their thoughts—and their whereabouts. And women demand truthfulness, according to psychologist Nicole M. Else-Quest of the University of Maryland who analyzed 300 studies to compare women's and men's self-conscious emotions. If a guy slips up he should say so, without crafting a carefully-worded email.2
Hi, I have been talking with a man that is older then me. He is very private and he needed space so I gave it to him. Out of respect cause I once was in his shoes. And found myself again when i had my own time. We haven’t had sex in the months we been together. Just talking and enjoying one another company. There are times he asks me to stay with him more now days and I do. Still no Sex, alot of kissing and holding. Then we both stop one another before it goes further. Why? Idk but we respect one another more. But I have noticed we have recently stopped talking like we use to. The convos shorten. Our conversations are about our days, and some sexting or just straight talk n tease about being romantic. We just have fun. I do know he dont to hurt me, n he is afraid of his own actions. He’s the touchy feely type with women. And it surprises him I don’t get mad or jealous. He tells me he ain’t use to the way I act towards stuff like that. I’ve asked him if he’s trying to push me away he says no then he says maybe… I don’t feel he is cheating, I just think we are both scared to take the next step. Cause we both hurt and was hurt in our last relationships. Getting confused need some advice.
First 3 months he didnt loved me that i realized.but i gave so much love to him.i made use to him…i gave lots of gift…i surprised him a lot…He sudenly started to say me Why u r an amazing girl???He fall deeply in love that he started give me Gold Locket…Gold Ring….Gold earpin…he started spent lot of money….we started meet everyday.His mom asked him about he has any gf or not.He told his mom everything.I am a good student(3.9 in undergrad),i am from a rich educated family,i am a good chef…etc.he was in love me so much…he bought a Closet for me in his room.His mom bought jewelry for me for wedding.i choose the design of that closet nd jewelry.That is how much serious he was.we were physically involved also.
Sometimes in relationships, you can become so close that the spark starts to fade. The best way to rekindle the spark is to make him miss you and remember what it was that made him fall for you. Relationships also mutually end before they need to sometimes. You can make your ex-boyfriend miss you and remember what it was like when the relationship was great. To make him miss you regardless of the specifics, create some space, control the communication, and use subtle hints like scents, spontaneity, and intentionally "forgotten" possessions to make him think of you when you're not around. Soon enough, your guy should be longing for you and craving that passion again.
Rachel, I’m a lot older than you. I’ve been through serious relationships, local and long distance. Bottom line, long distance doesn’t work. It’s not a relationship. I would say the only exception to this is if you’re already truly married, nothing else is wrong, and one of you has to travel for work. Still, that can only be temporary – the two of you have to reunite, want to reunite, and it happens.
When you show a guy that you are a giver and self-less person, he’s going to love you more. Taking the time to help others, says a lot about you. When you volunteer your time at the local hospital, to help collect donations for cancer, or to feed the homeless at Christmas time, you’re showing your guy what a great catch you are. He can’t help but love you more for this.
If you know the actual reason why your boyfriend or husband is acting distant and not giving you the attention and time that you deserve you will be able to correct the situation and get his attention back. The key is to try to understand the reason behind your man’s cold and distant behavior. Here are the possible reasons why men withdraw in a relationship.
How to make a man commit to you is a universal question that women across the globe have asked from the time of Adam and Eve. How to get a man to marry you after age 40 is the mystery that drives the female mind crazy. It doesn’t matter if you are 20 something looking for your perfect mate or 40 plus, getting into a committed relationship can be challenging.
Finding an incredible guy and sticking around with him is wished by every woman. And her wish seems to get fulfilled once she starts imagining of marrying her dream guy. But that’s not how things go afterwards. The guy simply gets horrified due to his fear of commitment phobia. So, read here to find out some top signals which notify your man has got a fear of commitment.

Two weeks after he left, we were both miserable and he started being overwhelmed with how hard work was. He was working a lot and he felt he couldn’t be there for me and he had to focus on himself. I felt like we were not in the same place in our lives and we decided to break up (over the phone). We kept texting each other and updating one another about our lives and we missed each other terribly. We’ve been through some serious stuff together and we were both unhappy about where we were in our lives while we were together.

While it is a good idea to talk things through if you want to define what your relationship is, you should go easy on placing labels. Putting pressure early on to what you have, even if it is something special could lead to its premature death. Instead look out for signs that you are going steady like seeing each other exclusively, being updated with each other’s activities, and getting to know someone’s friends and family.
It's easy to let parts of yourself go when you meet someone you think is the partner of your dreams. But don't. "Trying to be someone you're not is so transparent," Kelman says. If you'd rather go to the gynecologist than watch football or hit an art museum, don't pretend to love the Steelers or understand abstract art just because the person you're seeing is a fan.
To a degree I understand the the above. I now how I deserve to be treated, I now what my worth is and I’ve told my guy I deserve better if it makes him run for the hill so be it. It’s ok to retreat to man gave but get a little bit of communication in any relationship I called respect. Even if it’s I need time out. I’m sick off of hanging in the side line while he tries to figure wither I mean enough or not. I beleive I myself and respect myself enough to know when enough is enough. Xx
Hi Eric, I have situation that you’ve probably dealt with. I was seriously dating /living with the love of my life and we were so inove that we wouldn’t even consider anyone else. We were together for a yr and 5 months when an ex-friend ( homewrecker) began conversing with him in posts on social media. I trusted him, so nenever thought there would be risk. He ended up leaving me for her, moved in with her, and has been playing “step-dad” to her rotten kids. We’ve tried several times to work it out because he says he knows he hurt me, he screwed up and now he loves 2 women and he’s confused and has not been able to choose. He knows she wrecked us but can’t seem to get completely back to me. He even calls her stupid, and says he’s miserable with her. Now, I’m not so stupid as to not know that actions speak louder than words, but I love him and want to put us back together. She will never be the woman that I am and I think part of him feels sorry for her while I do not!! She has always been extremely jealous of me, but I’m in NO way jealous of her. Can you offer any advice? I know this is the condensed version of too many details to list…I wish I could talk to you. I believe there is hope as I know men at 46 go through mid life crises. At 45 myself though, I know what I want…hope to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks…
If your guy forms a crush on someone else, is involved in an emotional affair, or is cheating on you, it's not uncommon to notice him growing distant and cold. A man who is vague about his whereabouts, is suddenly demanding his privacy, and seems to be texting or messaging another person can often be devoting his attention elsewhere while simultaneously putting up a barrier between the two of you.
So im a guy, and my gf of 2 years broke up with me. Im so in love with her that i would marry her if i could. Im 23, ahe is 21. The whole problem is that she is young and curious and i was her first everything…. now the hard part is that she wants to see how other people treat her, she met a giy at her job and they kissed and im broken up over it but i still love her all the same. We ended on really good terms and im happy she is just so honest with me. She has always been like that, she didnt want to hurt me in the relationship so she thought this was the best course. She loves me to death and she always tells me that she wishes she lived her life before she met me so we can be happy now. I believe her bc she has always told me this. Now its summer, school ended and she is going to mexico with her family for a whole month. I would love nothing more than to just be with her. Idk why but i have a this strong feeling we will get back together in the future. Ohhh and btw she said that i should live my life and not just wait around. She is so perfect and caring its hard to just let that go. Should i go the summer without talking with her? Everyone tells me to just leave her, but my heart and my mind knows what it wants. I wouldnt want another relationship or anything serious with anyone else unless it was with her. If you need any more info just ask. Thank you

Im also experiencing this right now. I’ve been talking to this guy for a month. He texts and calls me everyday and after two weeks he said that he is falling in love with me. I told him that if I want to commit it should be with someone who is serious and for long term. He said he’s looking for the same too. And so we decided to meet and spend the day together. We were so happy and compatible. I felt safe and comfortable with him so I decided to get steady with him. Even it was time for me to go he’s still the same. Sweet and caring he even said that he wants to come and visit my home. Few more days and texting and nothing is changed he’s still the same guy I met so I was really worried when suddenly he stopped communicating with me. I let the 4 days passed without asking him what’s the problem. As I was so worried and confused I texted him like this ” I’m afraid my bf has been abducted by Pokemons. Do you know anything about this?” Just to make the convo light. Then he replied ” who are you?”. That moment I felt like my heart was torn into pieces. Here I was, so worried but then he just don’t care. I’ve waited a few days more and I asked him what’s the problem? He said that he’s been thinking if he’s the right guy for me cuz he has no direction. He doesn’t know what he wants in life and asked me if he is someone that I would like to spend my life with. He said that he love me but he’s too scared. I told him that love is a gamble. And I gambled for him and that I was really hurt by his actions. I even said that I thought we could achieve what we want together, but he didn’t say anything. I ended up the convo by saying that I will always pray for him and I wish that someday he would find what he wants in life and I hope he could find someone who would make him happy. He did not reply . So I guess that’s it. He pulled back and im not sure if I did the right thing. I think that he doesn’t want me anymore but I still love him and would be willing to figure out things together but it was him who gave up. I asked myself if I want someone like that I think I don’t. So yeah we broke up.
One of the reasons he liked the initial date was because he thought you were mysterious. You didn’t talk as much back then. He had to entertain you, he had to work hard to get you to open up to him. The fact remains that men love mystery! They love it when women give them a little and make them work for more. When you volunteer information constantly, men don’t place as much value in that information. When you avoid giving details and keep things as vague as possible it challenges him.
If you feel confident at this point that you want things to be serious, go ahead and tell them, Trespicio says. "Explain what kind of relationship you want and why, defining what commitment means for you without giving an ultimatum." If they aren't open to a discussion, let them mull it over for a couple weeks. But if they still don't respond when you bring it up again, it may be time to rethink the relationship. "You have to decide which you want more: someone who's committed or this person, even if he won't ever be," Trespicio says.
    "...in examining women's marital quality and men's emotional investments in marriage, we find that dyadic commitment to institutional ideals about marriage and women's contentment with the division of household tasks are more critical. We also show that men's marital emotion work is a very important determinant of women's marital quality. We conclude by noting that "her" marriage is happiest when it combines elements of the new and old: that is, gender equity and normative commitment to the institution of marriage."1
Now, we hope that he stops the relationship before he decides to cheat. I mean, after all, whether he is bored with you or simply doesn’t think the two of you get along so great, it would still be better to have him break up with you than play games and tricks with another lady on the side. If he is suddenly too busy for you and spends a lot of time on his phone texting or talking with someone new, this may be a sign that he’s seeing someone else.

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Is there another possible explanation for what seems like hot and cold behavior? Yes! If it’s not something new going on in his life that’s changed his routine, it could be about your relationship. It’s possible his feelings are dwindling, but it’s also possible he’s just settling into a more natural routine now that he feels the relationship is more settled.
I’ve been dating my ex for last 2 years he was a married man and I’m a single mom …we worked together and he asked me out we share each other’s feelings he told me how his marriage that is not working with his wife he has no feelings for her she does not want family she does not want kids she does not want to be intimate with him at all he asked me out and I said yes why not give it a try since then our relationship been good but yet he was living with her he tried his best to communicate with me as much as possible after 1 and 1/2 years I always try to make him move out of the house if he does not want to be with her make a decision if he is happy with her he can be with her and break up with me. every time I tell him to break up with me he cries and he says he does not want to break up with me because he is only happy with me want to be with me he needs me he promised he’s not intimate with her he’s only intimate with me. We work together we lost our job because we were in a relationship he did not care he Risked his job I risked my job to stay together even after losing the job we stayed together we still love each other the same I thought he will break up with me after losing the job but we knew the consequences when we first started dating we still did not care. Being a single mama has so much responsibility he helped me in many ways co-signing to my apartment co-signing to get me a credit card with his credit. Taking care of my child loving my child giving my child the love of a father everything he did was so perfect. We always talk about future having babies having a house we plan to meet my family we go on vacation thanks so much we seen so much as speech for future. He. agree to move out but when time came he had excuse he could not move out to which i said okay let’s be patience and he will move out. I know he cares about her he did tell me he cares about her a lot and he wants to make sure that she is okay before he moves out. Last Friday he plan to move out but when the date came he says he does not want to move out now he wants to make sure she’s okay before he moves out I was very upset I wanted to break up with him but he cried and he said he needs me he does not want to break up he just needs a little more time which I said I did cannot give no more time I have been patient for last 2 years that’s it today either he choose me or choose her. After 3 hours of arguing and crying he moved out with me. Because I wanted to break. Well on my way home he promised to always stay by my side and he loves me a lot now I don’t have to worry about anything he’s there for us . then the same night she’s been calling he text her and told her he moved out and he will file for divorce to which she said she would like to meet him once and sit down and talk like adults. He said okay he will mert the next day . He told me he will go see her I said okay could go see her. now I regret I shouldn’t have let him go. I don’t know what happened when he went to meet her in 2 hours he came back pick me up from work came home and told me he needs to talk to me and he said he’s moving back in with her he think he should give her another chance. , after begging him to stay not to do this think about it again he still did not stay he left. Next day his wife message me telling me to stay away from him and her and that she will never come back to me and my child. So I told her everything and I asked her if she was intimate with him for last 3 years cuz he told me he was never and she laughs and says that’s what he told you oh my God and then she says how could he think of having a future with you and your child if I don’t sign off the divorce paper. And he has to give me money half of his income every month. That tells me clearly that she blackmailed him emotionally whichever way to money which made him make that decision. She took his phone away from him and changed his number I called him at his work and I asked him what’s going on he needs to talk to me and give me a proper explanation to this break up and walk away he just told me not to call him it’s done between us he does not want to see me or talk to me.
Let the royals care about titles. One of the biggest mistakes you can make during the early hook is to suggest or even hint that things have started to formalize by assigning the labels “girlfriend” and “boyfriend.” Even if you feel like things are going in the right direction and that your relationship is getting more serious, there’s an extremely wide gulf between just being someone you’re dating and someone who has been officially proclaimed a boyfriend. What your man wants you to know but won’t tell you is that affixing titles to the relationship too early is like holding up a cross to a vampire. We will often run fast and hard when we feel like we’re being boxed into something we don’t want or is too premature.
I stayed up late last night to read your words. I was searching for some consolation to a negative thought in my head, and I found it. And here you are again today. You nailed it. Only through extreme heartache, researching yourself, and learning the lessons can you truly appreciate your eloquently written words. You are so highly skilled. What a gift. You found your calling. Ox
So Eric I’ve been talking to this guy almost 2 years. He says he likes me a lot but does not know what he wants we not in a relationship he enjoys my company a lot I like him too but need more.I think he’s confused some times it feels like he wants to and then next time he pulls away say he been hurt so much he’s not ready .Do u think it’s an excuse or what .I know he seeing other people but denies it .Please give me your opinion
Long story.. before meeting my ex he said he wasn’t looking for anything serious. Once we met we clicked and after a few months we were both Grtting attached. We wound up pregnant and he totally stepped up! Wanted to be together fully and it reflected in his actions. We lost the baby but still stayed together. He even suggested trying again. Two months later he was working a lot and we were drifting. He stopped trying. We always got along wonderfully when we were together.grest chemistry, best friends. We just clicked. We slowly broke up without it even being clear to me why. He had no valid explanation other than he wasn’t ready to settle down . We were broken up a month and he would still send me random texts frequently. Last week he called me wanting to hang out but I had plans. He decided to go out in the same area I was and blew up my phone asking me where I was so he could meet up with me. I finally gave in. He sat me down and cried to me about how much he loved me, missed me.. he had a nightmare I was on a date and woke up in a complete panic. He told me how bad he wanted the baby with me and how much it screwed him up. After an emotional catch up , I went home with him. The next morning he said he wanted to get back together, that he didn’t realize what he had until he lost it.. that he has always loved me.,( he only told me this twice the entire time we dated) he probably told me 15 times though this time. He cuddled, talked and made love most the day. He asked me to come back that night ( he had to go to work) and that he wanted to make me dinner. I can’t back later.. he told me he ended things with this girl he was hanging out with, for me. He deleted his dating apps in front of me. All of this was completely his decision. We spent the night together again. Everthing was wonderful and natural. The following night he stated he didn’t wabt to rush back into it so fast…which led to him not being ready.. freaking out and completely changing his mind. Obviously im blindsided and completely heartbroken. What in the world happened?!
I was reading your article and I just had to write to you and ask for your guidance. I have been seeing a married man for almost two years. Everything was great and it seemed as we were going to be together then I am not sure what happened about 2-3 months ago that he just started to pull away and makes the excuse that he’s doing what he’s doing to protect us. Not sure what that means…. Confused, and heart broken
You've been seeing this guy or girl at least once a week for a few months now. You're both sushi aficionados, his or her big brown eyes make you melt, or they even laugh out loud at The Mindy Project with you. It's great—except that you have no idea where things stand. They have yet to introduce you as their girlfriend or bring up being exclusive, and you're craving that "couple" title and the security that comes with it. Talk about blurred lines.
In order to have this guy tripping over himself to make you his girlfriend, you need to take the attention away from him and focus on yourself. Stop going out of your way to make him happy, don’t cancel plans just to spend time with him, and don’t always be so available to him. Catering to all of his needs will make you look like a pushover and a doormat, and no guy is attracted to that!

Many relationship experts swear by the No Contact rule when it comes to making an ex miss you, so it’s definitely worth giving it a shot! The rule is plain and simple: you cut off your ex for a certain amount of time, one to two months is the minimum. You send him a text message or an email letting him know you have a lot on your mind, and you’ll be reaching out to him when you’re ready. As soon as you fire off that message, all communication with your ex must cease. Even if he calls you back-to-back ten times in a row, and blows up your inbox with messages, you have to refrain from giving in and replying to him. The No Contact rule has a double purpose: it can either help you move on from the relationship, or it will make your ex miss you so much, he’ll be dying to get back together as soon as the no contact timeframe is over.
@ Sam after reading your post I really don’t understand your question because you did say you refuse to be with someone who showed you he doesn’t care about your health if only we women really Focus on men ACTIONS not his words ACTIONS tells us the Truth… I think you really know he doesn’t really care about you and you should treat him the same with the I Don’t Care Attitude and move on.
Hey! So my ex boyfriend broke up with me about just over 2 weeks ago. Leading up to the breakup we had previously had a big arguement in front of friends (caused by him) for no reason. After this he had told me how sorry he was and how much he loved me and never wanted to lose me. 3 weeks later he breaks up with me. He told me he thinks he’d be happier without me. I have heard rumours of him spending time with another girl through mutual friends. This is not the first time we have broken up. We did about a year ago for two months and I did no contact and he came back within 3 months saying he missed me everyday and didn’t know what to do about it. I believe him and I are soulmates. we are best friends. We have been together for 4 years in total. Since the day he broke up with me I have not contacted him, and he has not tried to contact me. He would not give me any closure or let me talk to him about it or anything. What should I be doing now? Is there a chance he’ll want me back again?

Ok so I don’t know how to start. My boyfriend and I had a 5 year age gap. And I recently just had him end a relationship of 1 year and like 9 months. We met on Facebook through a mutual friend and talked for a couple weeks in the beginning of Dec. 2016 until his birthday in January of 2017. Three days after his birthday party he invited me back over to hangout with him and the female mutual friend (who I met through work, she was like his older sister, she told me. And his neighbor) Anyway it was just me and him hanging out for a few hours and by the end of the night he romantically asked me to be his girlfriend, because we talked for weeks before meeting and he wanted to exclusively see me and date. I said yes. Fast forward maybe a month or a couple months and things were going great. We hungout on weekends, he came into my work to see me right after he got out from work almost every other day. It was very sweet. We went to movies, we went to his friends & his parents and were doing all kinds of stuff. People I knew from work would come to his house and hangout, watch movies, play games etc. Then I finally confessed to my parents that I was staying at his house (basically living there, I stayed 3 or more nights with him.) Everythjng was exciting and fun & sweet. Fast forward a week maybe and he asked me to move in. I said yes and told my parents my decision. I’m a cluttery/messy person.. and he’s OCD. Anyway after we were together over a year he said that maybe we should break up. He said he loved me very much but the house was always a mess (and I was working a ton of late nights as a pharmacy tech & always studying so I was tired. ) He told me the house being dirty was depressing and things with our relationship weren’t as exciting as the beginning. I managed to ask him to give me another try, I promised to keep the house clean & to do more activities with him. For a few months things were great, we went to his friends almost every weekend. We enjoyed activities with his & my parents. And we still hungout with our mutual friend (his neighbor).i ended up quitting my job and we went to Florida for 2weeks. We stayed with his family along the way and I met everyone. That was this past april. Things were great. We even recently went to Wisconsin together for a family wedding. Then tragedy hit over 10 days ago. His parents had moved down south before April, and I knew he missed them a lot. He rarely spoke compared to his every day phone calls with them. They were always busy now. So he invited one of his best friends to stay for a week with us to kinda pick himself back up I guess. It created tensions between us. We went to get him downstate for the weekend and I don’t like doing things outdoors/active.. idk why. Anyway ever since then he stopped holding my hand & kissing me goodbye before work. He even stopped kissing me when he got home from work, he withdrew from me almost completely, and I’ve always been clingy. But I was coming up on 7 months with no work and money was tight so I blamed it on that. Long story short he broke up with me 10 days ago. He said we are two different people and he needs an active and clean/neat partner. And I need someone to motivate and wake me up when repetition happens because I can deal with the same thing everyday. But not him. So for the past 7 months I’ve been trying to sell soaps. And he hasn’t been exactly supportive. He doesn’t talk about it. We would fight because he wouldn’t say anything positive he just would say oh cool. But he wasn’t negative or thought it was stupid either, I got his mom into the hobby. I miss him now. I don’t know if he will ever comeback. I’m desparate.. I was with him for almost 2 years, so many memories, i moved in with him and left my family & friends behind. They lived 30 minutes from where we lived. Nobody ever visited because of distance. I was ready to marry him, and at one point he did too. But the day we broke up he said something was missing in his life and he needed time alone. I have so much I could say, but this is already too long. And I recently made an okcupid account and found he had reactivsted his old one. I am so depressed that he’s moving on already. He didn’t want to give me anymore chances to change and he didn’t want to fix things.. But he swore up and down he’s always supported and loved me. He said he still loves me but we don’t work. Somebody please reply, I’m losing my best friend and the man I love. I know couples can change & grow together in relationships, I just feel because he’s depressed and isolated from everybody hat he’s pushing me away too.. I can do but leave him alone because he doesn’t like to message me anymore. I had a new phone he persuaded me to get with him when he wanted one too, everything was contract & in his name. It was a hassle to get it switched back to me & make payments w/o a job. Same with my car insurance. We were looking at houses and everything. It was like overnight he changed..
So me and my were long distance. Not too far away from each other tho, about 4 hours. I had just accepted a job in the city he lives in and was all set for moving down and four days later he broke up with me. We both had our fair share of emotional baggage, which i didn’t think affected our relationship that much. His ex was mentally abusive towards him and he didn’t seek any counselling after it ended and we got together 4 months later. I was worried about his behaviour that I looked at his phone to see if there was something going on but I found nothing. I admitted it to him though cause I didn’t want their to be any lies in the relationship and he didn’t seem bothered. But obviously he was. He kept it hidden for months instead of shouting at me, which I would have accepted. We both did wrong in some ways, he wasn’t good with communicating before I looked at his phone. But I do feel like this isn’t over in some way.
I have been in love with a guy for over ten years now and we both love each other, all of a sudden he started seeing another girl and when I confronted him about that he told me it’s true that he’s seeking another girl but he didn’t mean to and he’s madly in love with her. So I told him that we should quit but he said no that he still want to marry me. I don’t know but I think he want to marry me out of petty. I’m confused cos I love him, please l need ur help.
Thanks for your comment. The only thing I would “call out” about this is when you say if they want you no matter the circumstances, you know it. The reason being is because he has proven it to you over time. He is not in a vulnerable state and also going through a lot. Typically a man under financial stress and job stress takes a significant toll on his ego and self-dignity. It’s a different stress. Losing someone you welcome support because he had no control over it. Now, the other stuff he possibly did and is having a significant amount of guilt. What I would suggest is that you step back a bit and let him reach out when he is ready. I do believe checking in with him from time to time is good and not let your ego get the best of you. Be positive in your time and conversations with him right now. Do not input any additional stress and let things progress naturally. Show him that you will support him even if that’s giving him some time to breathe. You will find out the answer. I would encourage you to also book a session with me here so I can give you exact tailored advice for your situation. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/
Yes!!! I made this mistake with my boyfriend when he said he wanted some space and instead i just kept pushing and pushing to fix things. Everything just got worse. It’s absolutely torture to try to not interact with the person you love but if he is having doubts, bugging him will prob make him pull away more and if he is having doubts in the first place maybe things aren’t meant to be. My whole philosophy is that if someone doesn’t enjoy being with me then I don’t want to be with them either.

You guys fell in love for a reason, and while there are multiple reasons for your love, one of the biggest factors will be your personality. Show him what he’s missing by having fun and being yourself. We don’t mean go out and have fun without him, it’s more about making him realize why he loved you in the first place. By showing him the different sides to your personality you will allow him to come to his senses and tell you how much he misses you and can’t wait to see you.
My boyfriend and I were together for almost three years. We were pretty much a power couple, he was my first boyfriend, and he was 7 years older than me. Everyone who knew him before I met him, constantly told me he is so much better and happier with me and had never seen him treating anyone like a queen like he was treating me. He was good looking and smart and he knew it. We met each other at work, he was trying to move out of his apartment because he did not like his roommates, and he wanted to go back to school. We were on a break after us talking to each other for about 3 months because he wanted to focus on himself and just pick up shifts, make money, and get out of that apartment. We were still speaking to each other, one thing lead to another, with my help, we moved him out and he got his new apartment. Few months later, when I thought we are still just friends he told me he loves me, like 3 times until I stopped pretending like I am not hearing him. We started becoming more public about our relationship. He was so kind and loving and he did every single thing he could to make me feel special. He was so respectful and considerate. He would even come help my mother with some of the manlier things around the house. However recently I quit my job, which lead to us seeing each other less, and during the summer I was out of school, and so I became very clingy and needy and constantly nagging so he would hang out with me, because I was bored when I really should’ve picked up a hobby or something. We did try to take a course together online when I told him I don’t want to do online class, and I went on a vacation with my friend for a week after being gone for a month visiting family abroad. That really upset him, he failed the first exam and ended up dropping the course which cost him a lot of money too. So just being more in debt than before, and having a nagging girlfriend who kept trying to push herself on him and became more and more protective and paid more attention to him so she would get more attention, got annoying. He kept saying that all we do is argue now, and I kept saying it is always over the same thing, I just want to see you more. Anyways, 2 weeks ago he asked for some time and space, I got mad, then resulted in a break then a break up!! All in matter of like 30 minutes because I was livid and confused. I thought everything was great. He said he feels like he is not good enough for me, I made life so easy for him he was letting go of himself and becoming lazy. Which really pissed me off because last time we took a break while he moved out he said that same thing but then 5 months later telling me he loved me he said he didnt mean any of that. I am a very very hardworking woman, type A, I even made a to do list and plan of attack for both of us every day, so I know if he was even being lazy it was because he was just being lazy and had nothing to do with me. 
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