When men pull back, goddesses don't chase them; they don't try to figure men out; they don't play chess with men. They refuse to expend their precious energy in that way! Goddesses do feel their feelings; they do take care of themselves. They do communicate how they feel. And they do enforce personal boundaries by telling men what they want and don't want to feel in a relationship.
My ex and I were together for 8 months in a very happy and healthy relationship. We had honest and open communication, we barely argued, great sex, we had trust and supported each other and overall just adored each other. He treated me extremely well and we were grateful for each other, his family and friends loved me and vice versa. After spending the last 5 weeks straight of our relationship together, making many memories and going on dates etc, literally overnight he told me he didn’t want a relationship anymore. To this day I can’t understand why, I gave him everything and he kept telling me I did make him happy and I was perfect and this had nothing to do with me, he just didn’t want it anymore and he needed to “be selfish and work on himself”. There’s been no contact whatsoever now for almost 2 months, but I still think about him every single day and get upset no matter how hard I’m working on myself. He had all the space and time and respect from me in the world to work on himself while in a relationship I don’t understand why I wasn’t wanted all of a sudden. Does he think about me at all? I don’t think he’ll ever regret it but the thoughts are driving me literally insane …
Sometimes the man you’re missing is yours, and you want to stay in his mind. There are many things you can do to ensure he’ll think of you. Have you ever cleaned your room and found an old movie stub or small item and had memories rush back? It’s amazing what a tiny item can do. Make a point of leaving a small memento behind in your man’s car or house. When he sees that earring or hair clip, you’ll come to mind, and he’ll want to see you that much more. DO NOT leave behind a toothbrush or other items that are of an intimate nature because this will surely cause him to panic. Think cute when it comes leaving a little piece of you at his place and he won’t be able to take his mind off of you.

I am a guy who was recently dumped after a 7 year relationship. I deal with heavy anxiety as it is and this just took it to another level, it lead to me having severe panic attacks as well as constant nausea and vomiting. I know this article is intended for women because of the constant use of male pronouns when referring to the ‘ex’ I’m going to try these steps never the less and do my best. Thank you for taking the time to create such a well thought out article!


I might feel a bit regret for loving him that i feel heartbroken now..But whatever it is, the days we spent together was really one of the happiest moment in my life so i never regretted every moment of it. Bad news is, i find it hard to move on.. like seriously am i obsessed with him now? it feels like hopes are there you know, and its not giving up. i just wanted to talk to him. A single hey from him would make my year, but it seems like impossible. *sigh* life…
If you know the actual reason why your boyfriend or husband is acting distant and not giving you the attention and time that you deserve you will be able to correct the situation and get his attention back. The key is to try to understand the reason behind your man’s cold and distant behavior. Here are the possible reasons why men withdraw in a relationship.
Knew this guy in middle school he was in love with me.. lost touch and about 2 months we started talking. But I always have to call him.think he called me twice so far including returned phone calls. And he always dose the talking always when i talk its interruptred are non responcive. ButTalked daily and decided to meet briefly about two weeks ago. We talked for a about 15 20 min.then it went real fast real quick. I said no a few times before I just gave in. Now its we talk every other day to maybe once a week. He’s said a few times about going out before sex and once after but includes that we should end that date with sex. I have asked him where he stands after we had sex the next day made it clear that was not like me and that it was to soon. He said it was built up and he agrees it was soon. Says he is content with his life but then says if he didn’t want to talk to me he’d say so……..I feel like I f***ed up by haven sex to soon and all he wants is ass now. What do u think
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My boyfriend and I see each other, if we're lucky, maybe two to three times in a month. We've been together for six months and have known each other for eight. It does get really difficult; even though it can be a lot worse. I try to remember that other couples do have it a lot worse than we do, and I am grateful every time we get to be together but it still doesn't make it any easier when I think about the fact that I don't know when I'll get to see him next or be near him. He's leaving for a week, so we won't even get to speak to each other, which is the longest we've gone without talking. Being able to write it out does make it a lot easier since I don't want to make him feel bad about leaving or having a life outside of our relationship.
Why don’t you advise sending the man a brief text that recognizes he needs space and give him the time and space he needs? The guy I’ve been seeing for almost a year got fairly emotional one night and finally made a commitment to me. I think did, anyway. Lol But the very next day he became a bit cold and distant. I’d get brief replies to my texts, but that was it. I also know he’s dealing with some personal things as well. I texted him, told him I felt he was going through a few things and needed space. He replied with a Thanks! which confirmed my thoughts. A few days later, I texted him again, told him I missed him, (shows I’m not upset) but I understood he needed space and told him to take all the time and space he needs. (Shows understanding and willingness to allow him to do his thing) I also told him that if he ever wanted to know how was feeling or how I felt about him to listen to a specific song and ended the text with some sweet words. (To reassure him and to hopefully give him an earworm to keep him thinking about me and make him miss me.) Then nothing more. No texts. No calls. Nothing. My plan is to keep busy and let him contact me.
Men who are emotionally unavailable can end up pulling away from their partner and growing distant because they are unwilling or unable to be totally forthright and honest. If your man never lets his guard down around you and never wants to divulge anything personal, he's going to shut you out because that's how he handles personal relationships.  

WOW! WOW! WOW! Guys, seriously this article should be preached (especially the fourteenth one haha). My boyfriend and I are together for two years now and he’s taking me to prom this year. So excited I’m gonna pass out!!! He’s a pretty tough guy and you gotta have patience with him, but he sure knows how to pull some romance tricks on me like flowers before school or my biggest addiction – chocolate. And now I can pay him back.
#4 He is attracted to someone else. If nothing happened and he is suddenly pulling away, then it may be that he is attracted to someone else. If he is thinking about being with another woman, he may be trying to find a way out of the relationship. If you notice that his habits are changing, he is no longer interested in sex, or if he becomes more secretive and rarely spends time with you, then he may have found someone else.
I get that regardless of the genre, we all go through difficult times and some of of Us need some time alone or space to clear our minds and regroup. However, i find really diaconsidered and selfish to vanish with no explanation. If you really care about the other person, you value their presence and the energy they put into you. Many paople take other for granted ans think they deserve understanding for this erratic behavior. I can assure you that a real grown up man or woman will take the time and effort to let you at least know that they are going through challenging times and they need to take some time off the normal rhythm of the relationship so you dont go through unnecessary pain and anxiety. Yes! Life is too short to waste it near unkind selfish people. There is no need for drama, that is why there will never be ok with people who dissapear and expect you to act real cool at anytime they want to come back! And yes! I can wait for someone who takes the time to tell me with honesty what is going !!!! The rest is total BS
Im in the current situation right now… He wants space for me being paranoid for past few weeks.. I really dont know wat to do, he is so busy and stressed from work.. He asked for space, i ask him if he is breaking up with me he said no he just need time and space for the meantime… Need your advice please… I dont want us to be apart i really love him..
My boyfriend and me are in a long distance relationship. We just spent a week together after 6 months and I cant stop crying now that hes gone. We cried together before he left back for america too. Love is hard but hes worth all of this. Going to throw myself into a part time job over the summer so I dont spend my time missing him. And at the same time, earn money to go and see him too. People should do it
It seems counterintuitive, but experts' No. 1 piece of advice is to never to bring up the DTR (a.k.a. define the relationship, or "what are we?") conversation. "It's like going to a party, turning off the music, turning on the lights, and asking, 'Are we all having a good time here?'" Trespicio says. "A good relationship is built on momentum, and putting a stop to the fun to 'check in' is a surefire way to kill the romance." (Related: Why Your Anxiety Disorder Makes Online Dating So Damn Hard)

Answer: Stop being so aggressive. The more you push, the more he is going to pull away. Give him some space to figure stuff out without all the questions and accusations. If you push him too far, you are going to lose him. If you take some of the pressure off, he may just find his way back to you. [Read: 20 glaring signs you have a control freak in you]
Consider all points 1-9.  No relationship is exactly the same as another.  There could be varying elements of any of the 9 points listed above involved as well as other equally important aspects not yet discovered.  Your relationship is uniquely yours and requires love and commitment to last.  Therefore, instead of wondering why do men pull away after getting close step back and take a look at your relationship and review where the relationship started, what pulled you both together, and what ( if anything) has changed.

I was with my boyfriend for 6months I found out the whole time he was talking to other woman and he had social media accounts behind my back to do so, we had very good and bad times as well normal stuff and he made me meet his family and him and his family told me I was changing him into a better man and was giving him inspiration to make his life better I’m just so confused I showed him all of the proof I found and we had an incident like that before but this time I had all my proof I sent it in a text message because I was t with him in person and he blocked me from everything it’s been a month now and he hasn’t even contacted me to say sorry or nothing I’m just here left in the dark and so confused
If you’re still stuck in feeling needy and out of control, you’re not going to see the necessity of bringing that value to the relationship because you’ll still be fixated on your own worries, your fears, your insecurities. And with that fixation, you won’t be able to put energy into the relationship, you’ll have wasted all your energy needlessly worrying about stuff.
I reconnected with my ex after four years had gone by we been together now for 6 months the relationship has its ups and downs mostly downs we fight a lot but I love him very much and I want it to work between us he has been pulling back to the point were I’m afraid I’m losing him at first he was with me everyday now I barely see him he doesn’t call when he says he will he doesn’t keep his word it hurts so much so at first I poured my heart out to him over n over again trying to get him to see how much I cared and needed him that made it worse the past few days I’m trying to give him his space keep my mouth shut but it’s so hard I feel so neglected !!!!!!! How long should I give him his space before I confront him ???? This is not ok you can’t be so close to someone then suddenly pull away from them leaving them feelings horrible and rejected!!!!

For this next step, you’ll definitely need to tread lightly. When done incorrectly, this trick can backfire and kill any chance of you reuniting with your ex (if that’s your end goal, of course.) If you want your ex to really miss you, one of the easiest way to get him to take notice of you is to show up with a new date on your arm. Your new guy doesn’t even have to be hot, and as a matter of fact, you don’t even have to like him. He’s there to serve a purpose and one purpose only: to make your ex insanely jealous. Don’t stick your tongue down the poor guy’s throat or grope him right in front of your ex though. Keep things platonic, and let your ex’s mind wander. It’s true, we always want what we can’t have, and if your ex thinks you’re spending your nights wrapped up in the arms of someone new, he will do whatever it takes to bring you back into his life!

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Thank you, Ray. I needed a male’s perspective, I’m hurt & all my girl friends are angry, so I can relate to almost all of these posts. I have been with a man that “needs his space” & needs a woman to be understanding about it. It’s hard for me because although we have been in a relationship for just a week over a year, I’ve been in love with him for 20. We had a 2 year off & on thing back then & I was very young & I did not understand him back then. Although I understand him now, it still hurts, & the fear is always there, nagging at me, bringing up thoughts like, is he wanting to see someone else? Am I the one pushing him away with my feelings? Why does he not love me the way I love him? Always wondering if there is someone else, but never really believing it. He told me from day one (a year ago) how he was, & I guess I decided back then I loved him enough I could handle his occasional distance & that I had enough love to push through it.


Thank you for reading this article and I am glad you found it interesting. There are several reasons why a man pulls away and stops contact suddenly without giving you any explanation. The important thing now, is for you to take time and reflect on this relationship. This time is for your personal growth and to rebuild your confidence. You are on the right path by working on your self and learning that you deserve so much more. I know that you truly care for him, because as you stated you have allowed him into your life several times. Keep busy and focus on what you need and try something new. I am not sure if you will ever understand why he became all talk and no action. Take this experience and grow from it so that you can have the healthy relationship you so deserve.
A goddess "lives confidence." She may not feel authentically confident but she is smart enough to witness her emotions as they are pop up, recognizing when her insecurities are causing her to take a man's behavior personally. She knows when to feel whatever painful stuff comes up inside her and then does exactly what a confident woman would do — not let his behavior define her self-worth!
Forget all those relationship expert columns that tell you it’s most important to your man that he first see what’s in your heart. Bull****. It’s most important to see what’s inside your clothes. Now, before you scream, “Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig!” listen carefully. I’m not saying that we need to get into your pants right away in order to enjoy your company. But I am saying that men definitely need to know that you have the goods and that you take care of yourself. To put it bluntly, a guy’s first interest in a woman has nothing to do with the handbag she’s carrying or that she graduated from an Ivy League school. What your (potential) man wants you to know but won’t tell you is that his initial attraction is all about your appearance and physical being, which sends a flood of highly charged testosterone racing through his veins. Yes, the physical is first, and we’re not saying we won’t eventually fall in love with your intelligence, kindness, and humor. These extremely important attributes are the ones that will ultimately be critical in helping you hook us. But in the beginning the number-one attribute is what you look like and how well you take care of yourself.
You only just met this guy, and he made it clear he wasn’t leaving. You were still in the honeymoon/ infatuation phase when you left. He sounds like he really liked you, but he was right o keep it light when that’s where you two were when you left. Had you stayed and got to know each other better, you would have found out whether you two were really compatible/ on the same level, etc.
Try making him miss you to help him see how special you are. Flirting with a guy you like by dressing up, using a sweet-smelling perfume, showing him that you've got a big social life, and so on can help him see that you're interested - and interesting. There's no harm in playing a little hard to get, as long as you don't get too consumed by trying to attract his attention.
Sometimes, when distress takes effect over me, and I'm stuck in a never-ending groove, the bizarreness of relationships reverberates in my mind, and I'm forced to question the existence of perfect relationships. It's bewildering to think that because you have been with him for three long years now, lived-in for a year and a half, your parents know him in-and-out, you're tempted to believe that your relationship is a perfect example of the Romeo-n-Juliet fantasy, little knowing that time span does not boil down to a healthy relationship. It's astonishing to realize that when your friends talk about the crests and troughs in your relationship, you seem to brag the years you've been together for, more than your love for each other. Well, that doesn't come as a surprise. No, truly. During the course of time, the starry-eyed you seems to lose the grip over your significant other when adventure becomes a thing of the past, public displays of affection lose edge, romantic dates turn into we-split-bills dinners, and surprises fly out of the window like they just don't make sense anymore. Flabbergasting? True that.
It’s as simple as that. If you feel like something’s not right, in all probability, something is definitely wrong. Communicate and make the effort. At times, the relationship may be a failed cause because your man’s a bad guy. But almost always, the relationship stagnates because you and your lover have started to take the relationship for granted. [Read: 25 relationship rules for a successful long term relationship]

This whole post really does make me think. Perhaps we have been conditioned to think that giving our partner space is the appropriate way to act? And, in a lot of cases it does cause the relationship to become somewhat stable again. But, I honestly think that if someone asks for space, or “changes”by contacting you less, it is a sign that they are an emotionally unstable person, who will only break you by making you feel paranoid.

In my situation, I’ve been seeing the same guy off and on for the past 2 years. We didn’t talk all summer. We started talking and seeing each other again the first week of September up until 4 days ago I guess. The last time I saw him, I had spent a night with him, I dressed in lacy lingerie, garters and nylons cause he loves that kind of thing, he kept telling me how gorgeous and beautiful I was. He kissed me passionately, and this is odd because he doesn’t kiss on the mouth ever. He told me he had so much fun, and it was a great night. I left and haven’t heard from him since and it’s been 4 days now. I’ve texted a couple times and haven’t gotten a response which is odd. We always have a lot of fun together, we get along great, the past 7 weeks have been the best in all of the 2 years we’ve known each other. After a very passionate, great night, he drops off the face of the earth. Any ideas what could be going on with him?
I really miss him a lot what hurts is that he broke up with me just before Christmas and we had so much planned to start a fresh new year together have a Christmas dinner together so much plans for future so much planned for New Year everything fell apart just in matter of 2 second. My heart tells me he will come back he’s a man who likes to solve his own problem without involving third party. But I can’t convince myself that he will come back my mind is still on him everything reminds me of him he left his some of his clothes at my house all the pictures all the social media.
This article is surprisingly well written considering that most refer to manipulation of some sort. Yet, I would like to take a middle ground here in the positions taken by Eric Charles and Jennie. I think a fifth point, but moved to the top of the post should be on finding your own self love, and source of fulfillment independent of relationships, which helps you then do the second point say no to those who are not a good fit for you — i.e. know how to choose those compatible to you so that you can be yourself and also add value to his/her life. And yes, such relationships are reciprocal. It is not only the woman adding value, the man reciprocates as well. Both partners benefit. And commitment is a natural result, without having to manipulate the situation in any way. Thanks for offering different points of view.
We almost know each other for 4 month and I was feeling he is opening up to me and he was not ready to fall in love and he was honest with me bout when he was talking to me sometime I was feeling he is into me .he was giving his time his is a doctor and when ever I text to him even 8f he is busy he was replaying me quickly and I day at earlier I told him if he want me to stop talking to him he said no stay with me and for 1 month and half he pull away …we working at same hospital and I want to vacation and when I go back to work he came to me and say Hi …i was so serpraice!!! And I act normal with him and from that day he came to play I work and see me acting like he is not here for me and sometime I can see him looking for me from his eyes and say Hi sometime …im really confuse why he came alot to the arya that I work and look at me hiding his eyes and watching my Snapchat.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for a little over a year. We have been through so much in the time we’ve been together and I can honestly say that I am in love with him. He started to drift away and I kept pushing. Today I asked him did he need a break and he told me he think he did. I immediately felt heartbroken and didn’t know what to do so I panicked. I started to tell him how I didn’t want a break and that I wanted to fix it. I asked him what changed and he told me everything. I then begged him to just try. I realized that I’m forcing the relationship witch will only have a heavier hurt in the end . There’s so much more behind this but here’s the basis. I told him I loved him then I asked him could we please keep trying. He replied I love you too and said okay. Shortly after I regrettably started to nag him to talk to me. He then began to ignore me. I realized that I’m making him feel trapped in this relationship and that’s the last thing I want to do. So I sent him this a couple of hours ago : I realized that I haven’t been being myself at all and I’m sorry for that. I’m forcing you and I don’t want to do that to you. I realized that you were pulling away and I kept trying to push you back in. I’ve always told you that I love you and even if we are not together I want you to be happy. I’ve been thinking about this all night and the dream I had really opened my eyes.i Really do love you and as much as this hurts i never wanted you to feel like you are trapped in a relationship. If you really need a break and need time I’m willing to give you that. I just wish it didn’t have to result to a break because only god knows how much I’ll miss you ‍♀️ but if it’s what you really want than I understand. I am patiently waiting on a response. I honestly just want to know, if I really give him the time will he come back or have I completely blew it already ?
It is scientifically proven that low testosterone can make men pull away, act distant and have mood swings. Irritable Male Syndrome (a.k.a male PMS) can occur anytime and can affect their relationship. If your man is avoiding you or trying to avoid you, he may be having IMS and it will get back to normal as soon as his testosterone get back to normal. If you have an intimate relationship with him and he is avoiding having sexual intercourse with you, it maybe because of his IMS that can also cause a lower sex drive or even erectile dysfunction. If you notice of these symptoms in your man, you should try to find out what exactly is happening, so you will know for sure why he is pulling away from you. Click here to read more about men having hormonal differences.
Remember that communication is key to building healthy relationships, so ensure you figure out what each other wants before taking things further. This isn’t to say that you should turn up in a white dress, as if you’re auditioning for Frozen: The Musical (you know it’s happening), on the first date. However, as you’re getting to know someone and during the course of your relationship, you need to ask questions pertaining to your future and whether you want the same things in life?
If someone cheats on you, speaks poorly of you, disrespects you, or makes you feel crazy, inadequate, or unloved, they do not deserve to have your love or attention. There are so many other people and opportunities for you to find joy and happiness in this world. You portray madness when trying to put a square peg in to a circular hole and similarly you don’t need to keep hammering away at a broken relationship. Seek positive relationships instead. Good luck…
if you only tell him you miss him, that will not complicate things at all. in a relationship, you gotta be open and transparent. if you love him, tell him. if you miss him, tell him. don’t wait for him to say it first just because you’re too afraid he won’t say it back. you are telling him because you feel that way and not because you want to feel good about yourself.
On the flip side, some men will pull away just as much if their date strongly insists that they must pay their own share. As callous as this may sound, most of us have egos bigger than Mt. Kilimanjaro, yet are as fragile as a fly. Trying to assert dominance in this situation may make your date run away. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Yes, I confess… we can be just as confusing to you, as women are to us.

Instead, have your own interests to demonstrate how exciting your life is, with or without them. "You want to be the fast-moving car that they want to jump into, not the one sitting in the parking lot, waiting around," Trespicio says. Keep up your long runs on the weekends even if they want to hang out, and don't expect (or nag) them to skip weekly basketball games in favor of seeing you. "The most appealing thing to a partner is someone who has her own autonomy and strength," Kelman says. The more they see that you have a fantastic life of your own, the more likely they'll want to jump in and be a part of it. (Related: What Happens When You're Dating Your Workout Buddy—and You Break Up)
my ex bf broke up with me last week ,and since then he has contacted me frequently asking how i am and saying we should go swimming and stuff ,Then the other time he asked me what i was doing …then i said i’m listening to music …then he got angry and said i replaced him with music.The problem is we play rugby for the same team and he offers to take me home everytime after training …..i don’t even go to him …he comes to me…I wanna know what to say to him next time we meet to make him admitt he wants me back .Help
Your man may be withdrawing because he feels like you’re pressuring him to move the relationship along more quickly than he’s comfortable with. If this is the case, there’s a clear and obvious new boyfriend advice you need to take: back off. To stop a man from withdrawing because he’s feeling rushed, you have to let things calm down and create the opportunity for the relationship to develop at a pace that feels good for both of you.
We all know that distance makes the heart grow fonder. When we are together all the time with someone, it can become quite boring and even annoying after a while, depending on the relationship. Being together constantly can take a huge toll on how you feel about each other, which is why experts recommend that giving each other reasons to miss each other may just be the best thing that you can do for your relationship.

Guys are typically not the masters of two-minute mushy talks, but listening to his voice even for a short time will surely bring a smile to your face. You can also try face-timing him to make it a little more realistic or use Skype or something similar. Hearing his voice is great but seeing his face is even better. Keep in mind this may be tricky depending on what part of the world your man is in, you certainly don't want to wake him up with a call in the middle of the night. Plan out a time when the two of you can talk and go for it.

And it was a big catastroph. X was so angry he left me, he insulted and shouted. He came back to do the things he didnt do when he was with me. I cried a lot and begged him not to leave. I did all that i can do. One day he called me to talk together. When he saw me, he hugged me he was calm and lovely he sad we can fix everything together. I was sooo happyy but the next day he woke up angry again and said he cant forgive me and he is not forgetting what i did i begged him again and again but it didnt work
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