As far as sex is concerned, my concise comment on the matter has always been that a woman knows best when to sleep with a guy — it’s her choice and nobody has a place to judge or shame that. At the same time, she would do best to make sure that she’s doing it because she wants to and never, ever from a place of fear (fear that he won’t stick around if she doesn’t, fear of him losing interest if she doesn’t, fear that’s she’s not enough without having sex with him, etc.)
One of the reasons he liked the initial date was because he thought you were mysterious. You didn’t talk as much back then. He had to entertain you, he had to work hard to get you to open up to him. The fact remains that men love mystery! They love it when women give them a little and make them work for more. When you volunteer information constantly, men don’t place as much value in that information. When you avoid giving details and keep things as vague as possible it challenges him.
Some statements in this article are right some are not really applicable in my situation. I have two potential lover in the future trying to get me but I haven’t decided which one because thet need to show me something first and of course I don’t give those things they want. Suddenly both of them were pulling away and not gave much attention as before, that time I waited and even no clue at all what have had happened. I tried not to put any assumption and put blame on myself, tried to relax and had fun with friends. Two months, then I just shoot the questions to both. I don’t care, if they’re not interested please don’t block my door. “You okay? Are you not interested in me anymore? You mad at me or something?”.. One got angry and said that I am the one who becomes distant and not talking to him, in fact I was just giving him space. We had argument and he left. The other guy said sorry, he didn’t give any reason, he just said sorry and but coming back more to me, giving more attention bigger and sweeter than before. He said he feels wanted by me, and now I know which one to choose. So the point is just speak up and see his reaction. Let it naturally, if you mad and become uncomfortable just say it. Plenty fishes in the sea, with patients you will know that he’s the one. A feeling without pressure or hideous love game. Goodluck!
I enjoy reading your articles. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year. We dated before 6 years ago and the reason we stopped dating is because he said I was pushing for something he wasn’t ready for. I didn’t realize I was pushing. He’s saying now like he said before, he doesn’t want a girlfriend right now, he’s too busy. But yet he’s still interested. He has said things to me like, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot and there’s nothing I can do about”, “We are more than just friends”, and then he pulls away again. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ride with him. He lives an hour away, we only text once a week or so, and only see each other every 2 or 3 months. We get frustrated with each and have arguments but still want to see each other so there’s something there. We are both Scorpios so I’ve been reading articles about 2 Scorpios being in a relationship and reading your articles. I’ve tried very hard not to seem “pushy” and realize the relationship is what it currently is. But how long do I have to wait for him to want to see me more? What should I say to him?
So me and my boyfriend live together for about a year now. We were dating for almost 3 years. He broke up with me few days ago. I’m still at his house. We haven’t talked at all but when he gets home and lays down with me in bed. He hugs me so hard and doesn’t let go until he falls asleep. That’s all we been doing after we broke up. What does it mean? Reason we broke up is because he claims he isn’t happy and that he doesn’t know who he is anymore
Eric, although I think you might be “spot on” on your theories, I can tell you for a fact that at age 67 I’ve had a lot more experience. Here really is the very bottom line in finding a good relationship, “it has to be cultivated and tended to”. After 40 yrs of marriage, loss due to death, we had to grow up together, we changed as we grew, we had to adjust, we became grown ups, our ideas, needs and desires changed. No matter how hard times are, no matter how much you share in common, or laugh or cry together, the one thing—“the only thing that keeps you together through thick and thin, till death do you part” Is a high regard for the other persons “person”, and a hell of magnetic physical attraction. Easy as that. It takes YEARS for the former to develop—and you can only hope that the latter remains. There is no magic wand. It is hard work that can pay you back with a lifetime of wonderful memories.
Another ways to make my boyfriend miss me and want to see me is to do what he likes. Every guy has a thing that he really likes from his girlfriend. For instance, maybe he likes a certain way you dress or tie your hair. When you meet or see him, do those things that he really likes from you. When he remembers these little moments, he will miss you.
Who doesn’t like to receive nice compliments? Your boyfriend deserves it from you. Compliment him when you happen to see him. You don’t have to give too much and it doesn’t have to be so exaggerated. It’s enough to compliment on his clothes or his haircut. Even better, you can just say that meeting him has helped you forget all the tiredness you’ve been feeling for this week.
If you want him to miss you, you can use social media as your advantage. Update your social media feed so he can see all the fun you’re having. Guys are definitely more visual creatures so give him something good to look it and he’ll be hooked, which brings you to the next step. But make sure you do not fabricate fake posts, just be you, be fun, and be authentic.

It has been almost a month since we broke up. He broke up with me saying that he had enough of the small fight we had every month. Since our breakup , he show no emotions. He didnt try to reach out to me too. However he does constantly post on his facebook page. And it does seem to me he has already move on. Is there even chance for us to be back together again?
Last message I told him that I’ll let him having time there to get things done after he told me that he’s not struggling with everything. (he has lots of extra expenses for this move too) He said he has anxiety about kids moving away (where we are now and new location is about 13 hours fly) but anyway he will prepare everything for them to move smoothly.
As soon as your ex starts to miss you, he will start throwing out hints about the two of you meeting up. But if you really want a chance of getting him back into your life for good, you have to decline his invitations initially. Simply let him know you’re not yet ready for a face-to-face meeting, but you will contact him when the time is right. He’ll be on pins and needles waiting for you to finally ring him up and accept his invitation. This will make him miss you even more as he patiently waits for the day he can finally see you again. It’s up to you how long you plan on keeping your distance from him, but generally a month or two is more than enough time to drive him wild and reignite the spark between the two of you. Now the specifics depend on your situation but all you need to do for sure is give it time.
Hi, we have been living together for 10months and we both live in Australia, we had such good moments but also we had a lot of fight over stupid things. Then another case that his dad asking him to take over his company in Netherlands. He has been thinking to take it over because he saying that our relationship wasnt going that well. He cant make any decision whether he wants to fully commit in our relationship or let his dad’s company away. So eventually we have been not living together anymore for around 3weeks now. I asked him couple times to try to fix this(last time was 2 days ago) but he keep sayinn that he cant fully commit to me at the moment because he still cant make any decision,otherwise it will just make you even more hurt. Then i stop asking or send him any message. Then now he text some random message like “today i was working with him”, he sent me a pic. I dont know what should i respond? I want to make him misses me and of course i want him back. Should i respond his random message or just ignore it..?
I'm not saying that men are right in pulling away, they also need to acknowledge the part they play in bringing out the worst side of a woman's fears. But just for your sake, for the sake of your mental and emotional health, just let go… anyway this is not the time to be having "talks" about the relationship because he'll most likely be unable (or unwilling) to have such deep convos during such a time.
When he talks about something that’s important to him, follow up with additional questions. Remember what he says. Even if it’s not an interest that you share, be willing to learn about it. Who knows, maybe it’ll end up becoming something you’re passionate about as well. If not, being receptive to it regardless will show him you care more about him than doing exactly what you want with every second of your day.
All thanks goes to Dr kobi who help in bring back my husband who left me and my kids to suffer for a year for no reason all my effort to try and reach him to no avail is then a friend gave me the contact of Great Dr kobi so I mail him my problem and he assure me that in Three days my husband who left me and my kids will come begging just has he said three days later my husband came back asking me to forgive him that he can’t explain why he left us to suffer am happy he is back with more love for me and our kids. If u are suffering from depression or any kind of problem you can contact him on. Email drkobi666solution@gmail. 

Instead of staying cooped up inside all day pining for your man, pick a spot that you want to travel to that is nearby. Getting lost in nature or in the sights and sounds of a big city is a great way to calm your mind and stop thinking about how much you miss your boyfriend. While going solo may seem frightening at first, it actually feels quite relaxing to be out by yourself exploring.

I want to start off by saying thank you for adding a guys input Eric! My question is how do know if your inspiring him to be his best self and inspire him in his lifes mission if you dont know what that is? The guy im kind of seeing has only initiated deep conversation once and it was to ask what i thought about us. Am i supposed to ask him out right or am i supposed to try and figure it out all on my own?

When you’re anxious for a guy to make you his girlfriend, he will be able to smell your desperation from a mile away. This desperation will turn him off, and he will be thinking of a bunch of different ways to get rid of you once and for all. So instead of being needy and clingy, you have to become aloof. If you become less interested in him, he will fight harder to regain your attention, and it will make him want to take things to the next level.
Unfortunately, many women have had pretty bad and extremely memorable first date experiences with men who want to skip over all the get-know-you steps and go straight to bed. Women are on high-alert about this. Not only is it just plain wrong to think that every woman wants to sleep with you on the first date, it also tells a woman that a serious relationship isn’t what you’re after.
I want to start off by saying thank you for adding a guys input Eric! My question is how do know if your inspiring him to be his best self and inspire him in his lifes mission if you dont know what that is? The guy im kind of seeing has only initiated deep conversation once and it was to ask what i thought about us. Am i supposed to ask him out right or am i supposed to try and figure it out all on my own?
Everyone has their own opinions of what should and shouldn't be done in a relationship, but not everyone can afford professional counselling to solve their relationship issues and rely on sorting it out themselves. The only issue here is that everyone is worried about reaching out to their families and friends for support on their issues, and they tend to not get them resolved resulting in the relationship ending.
Kind of like if you are on diet: you feel deprived of something you love and enjoy. If you are staring at a piece of cake and know you can’t have it, you want it more than if you can freely eat all the cake you want. It’s an even stronger force when you’ve broken up with someone who wants to stay together with you… because the lack of cake is a self-imposed restriction, whereas someone breaking up with you when you do not want them to is not self-imposed. So if you broke up with him and he did not want you to… this is an advantage.
I was dating a guy for only a couple months and he knew I was moving for school. It felt like we were in a serious relationship because we got pretty close in those two months we had. I told him I wasn’t planning on moving back since he had three more years of university, and there’s no film industry up north which he understood. He told me a couple times when he graduated he was thinking of moving to Vancouver too. The last day we saw each other was when he came to Vancouver and we hangout around the city together. We both should of have talked about what was going to happen with us, but we never got around to that. I knew it would have been hard to talk about it and I would end up crying on the sky train back home which I didn’t want to do. I texted him we should keep in contact and that for Christmas when I come to visit I wanted to see him. He said that he also wanted to see me too, and we should keep in contact also. After the first month’s I felt like he was too busy to reply to me and we didn’t really have any thing much to say to each other. I got mad and blocked him on everything except for his number which I deleted because it didn’t matter since I didn’t remember it anyways. He never texted me once about me blocking him. So I’m thinking that he doesn’t really care as much as I thought. So I Facebook messaged him and told him I overreacted so that’s why I had him blocked. He said he was surprised about that and also assuming that I wasn’t planning on moving back he thought it wasn’t really a big deal. I said I guess you’re right and he never replied. I blocked him on Facebook again. Now I’m in my town visiting for Christmas and I’m wondering if I should message him to see if he wants to grab a coffee or something and maybe talk about what happened in person. At the same time I feel like I should just let it be. I don’t think I can be just friends because I still have feelings for him. So what should I do?
Hi Ray! Thank you very much for the male perspective. I am dating a man who is 11 years older, I’m 26 and he is 37. He works out in the ocean and a lot of times we have minimal conversation via text/call. But when we are together everything is great and we get along very well. When he doesn’t have to wake in the wee ours or work out of town, he is with me every single weekend. We have been together six months and I have met all his close friends and friends kids. I have done well so far in respecting his space. When he’s a weekend with his guy friends, I am understanding and just ask him to contact me once when he is back in town so he feels he is not missing out on what he loves. However, this past weekend he had a sailboat race on the weekend which he let me know in advance and we had plans for friday night. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. I was emotionally unstable that weekend due to some work stress and family leaving so I needed him the most that friday. I did not think of my actions and instead of politely rescheduling for Monday, I blew him up – sent him various texts showing how I did not appreciate he canceled although it wasn’t his fault. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. On Sunday I was so desperate that I passed by his house. His roomate was there and told me he hand’t come home yet. Since I blew him up friday, I have had no response to any of my texts nor has he answered any of my calls. I am very afraid that I scared him away and threatened his freedom. I also came out as desperate for going to his place. Today is Wednesday and I hadn’t reached out till Sunday. I sent him a very short/casual text apologizing for taking out my stress on him and for not letting him have his space, to which I got no response. I am going to wait a few days and hopefully he will come around, as our relationship has matured and he’s told me how much he cares for me. Did I blow this up completely since it has been 4 days with no response?
If you can’t get along with his friends, the chances of him making you his girlfriend are slim. To most guys, getting approval from their buddies is very important, and they want to make sure the people who are closest to them approve of their new romance. If his friends think you’re annoying and rude, it may make your guy back off and run from you for good.
Schedule a girls night out with your friends. Leave your man home by himself. Give him a hug and kiss, and then say “see you later.” Make him miss you — and show him that you’re not in a codependent relationship with him — that you have a social life, too. If he wants space, then give him space, while have a fun time with your friends outside of your relationship. When a man pulls away after being in a LTR for a while, sometimes it means he feels trapped or suffocated or obligated to you, or that he’s losing his freedom or sense of self because you’re now “all coupling all the time.” Immersing himself in work is a way for him to pull away from this codependence and gain a sense of self and independence. If you’re really worried, do an evaluation of your relationship — are you getting too clingy, needy, or do you want to do things with him 24/7 … are you having a codependent relationship? Is that the reason why your guy is pulling away? Sometimes, the issue may not just be his, but also yours.

You were the kind who used to put the entire world on hold to attend his call. Not anymore. Pick up his calls, but not every time. Give him an excuse that you were busy, and that you didn't notice he called. Don't be too rude or blatant, but tell him you have been occupied. Let him ring you. Talk to him sometimes, but in brief. For once, he'll wonder what the heck is up with you all of a sudden, but once he realizes that you aren't that available now, he'll be left with no other choice but to miss you, and wait till you get back.
He may have made an excellent point. If he works seven days a week, the only time that he can spend on fun things is at night. Since he has spent every night with you, he is probably losing time to spend with his friends and family as well. The only thing you can do is give him his space and hope that everything works out. A few days away each week could be just the balance that you need to have in your relationship.
hi my ex calls me every times she is drunk can i get her back and many times she comment through facebook that she loves me but when i ask her she told me the same thing but she doesnt want to come back to me i remember two days ago we meet in club then i receive a call from my friend i went out to receive that call i didnt know she was behind my back we talk we laght but when am throung she became jelours and even slap me i dont why she slap me and we were not together please i need your help on this
The ironic thing about playing hard to get is that it can work, but it’ll work on the wrong kind of guy. If the only reason he’s into you is that you’re hard to catch, what will you do once he’s caught you? You can’t stay in the limbo phase of the relationship forever. If a guy isn’t interested in the authentic you, playing the enigmatic mystery girl will only work for a brief period of time.
Hi, He sounds as if he has a lot of his own insecurities and is deflecting them onto you. He is constantly trying to change you, and tell you that you aren’t enough. You sound to me as if you are not comfortable in being yourself around him. You can’t petend to be someone else to please jom forever, so picture this you are trying to adapt yourself to who he wanrlts and he is still finding flaws. Aren’t you tired already,? he is damaging your self-esteem. There is someone out there , who you may or may not have met, that will adore you flaws and all, bit you have to love yourself enough to know when you are being tolerated , and ” handled”, not loved. This guy you are with, needs you a lot more than you need him, be careful not to allow him to force you to change into someone nobody wants, so thy he can keep you all to himself, while he used you. By that, I mean an insecure, unhappy person that doesn’t feel worthy of anything.
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