So me and my boyfriend live together for about a year now. We were dating for almost 3 years. He broke up with me few days ago. I’m still at his house. We haven’t talked at all but when he gets home and lays down with me in bed. He hugs me so hard and doesn’t let go until he falls asleep. That’s all we been doing after we broke up. What does it mean?
When you get a taste of something great, you will always want another taste. Men want what they can’t have. If you give him all he wants right away instead of making him fight for you, he will know he has it made on easy street. Where is the fun in getting something without a fight? Be a little bit flirtatious but don’t give him everything. For example, definitely don’t give him a kiss on the first date. Make him earn each bit of affection he gets from you. Men like to earn things and your affections shouldn’t be any different. He’ll appreciate you more if you make it a little challenging for him to be in your good graces.
Use social media to highlight the fun you’re having independently. Start to post pictures and status updates about how much fun you’re having doing things on your own. This works very well when trying to get an ex to miss you. Show how much you’re enjoying life on your own, and your guy will be begging to hang out with you because he misses you so much.

Great article (as usual!). What are some ways women can inspire a guy to realize his ultimate potential as a man? My go to was to go to the deep, dark secrets, but from reading your articles that is a no-no and I should leave his issues alone. Asking questions seems to put guys on guard and make him and me feel like I am an investigator. You have previously said to let guys open up to you, does that go for sharing their hopes/dreams as well? Or how can I reach him on a deeper level?
He may have made an excellent point. If he works seven days a week, the only time that he can spend on fun things is at night. Since he has spent every night with you, he is probably losing time to spend with his friends and family as well. The only thing you can do is give him his space and hope that everything works out. A few days away each week could be just the balance that you need to have in your relationship.
One of the reasons you seek new boyfriend advice from your loved ones—and ahem, the internet—is because you’re stuck reading between every line and over each text message. Here’s the hard truth about overthinking the details: The more you over analyze a man and your relationship with him, the more anxious you will feel. When you’re researching ‘how does a man act when he’s falling in love’ and and ‘how to stop a man from withdrawing’, you lose your sense of self.
Now I just want to add, the best way to do this is to actually be busy with your life so much so that you’re not glued to your phone waiting for him to text, as opposed to pretending to have a full life when really you’re just sitting at home waiting for him to text and then not responding for a certain amount of time to make it seem like you’re busy with other things.
I have a 4yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy. My kids dad and i was together for 12yrs i kno all to well that this happens. My best advice is to start putting the kids in childcare and you get a lil job you like or at a daycare being you you are use to caring for kids for like 4 hrs a day and stop focusing on him. And he’ll come bac around. Like that you’ll start building your own friendships and your always busy. Pay him less attention and he is gonna be like damn what happen and what he’s expecting. Have fun a mothers life is stressful to you need a outlet.

Now, we hope that he stops the relationship before he decides to cheat. I mean, after all, whether he is bored with you or simply doesn’t think the two of you get along so great, it would still be better to have him break up with you than play games and tricks with another lady on the side. If he is suddenly too busy for you and spends a lot of time on his phone texting or talking with someone new, this may be a sign that he’s seeing someone else.


We spent that summer together inseperable after that. At the end of the summer he told me he loves me. In that moment I truly forgave him and saw that he had made the mistake out of fear, and open wounds from his last (and only) real relationship… I realized the poor guy had never even experienced true partnership and love… I was excited to show him how a real partnership can be, and how lovable he is.
You don't have to stay in the dark forever, though. If it's been about six months and they hasn't dropped one hint about where they see this going, casually speak up, says Jennifer Kelman, a licensed social worker and relationship expert at Pearl.com. For example, if you'd like them to meet your parents, ask if they'd be up for going out to dinner, but let them know there's no harm if they're not quite ready for that yet. Above all, keep the tone light and maintain open lines of communication. (Related: How Soon Is Too Soon to Get Engaged?)
I was dating a married man off and on for 5 years. The last 2 years were very deep. He gave me a ring and made moves to divorce his wife. I pushed him away by causing a lot of fights because I didn’t trust he would divorce. He finally told her he wanted to separate but I was still afraid he wasn’t going to go through with it and I would be devastated. We had a big fight and it got ugly. I of course chased him and did all the wrong things trying to salvage it. He went back to his wife. I gave up 4 months after the fight and worked on me and understanding relationships. We haven’t spoken even though he tried calling me back in January once. After getting myself in a better place and taking care of me. I feel I really want to show him I grew and would like to reconnect. So I planned a little run in after these 5 more months since no contact. He talked but he doesn’t seem to have grown and is still very hurt. He is talking to my friends about me but everything is negative or he is trying to check my motives. He tells them I haven’t changed and I am crazy even though he talked nice to me, wished me a happy birthday and he admitted he has been watching me. I paged him cause I was upset he was talking to my friends and not me. I praised him about changing me and my relationships and told him all good things but I also told him that I felt hurt and hate it when he spoke to my friends and not me. I asked him to respect me and not talk to them about us. I asked him to talk to me when he was ready since he told me he wasn’t ready to talk yet. We haven’t spoken in a week and I find out he went to 2 of my friends to tell them I am crazy and haven’t changed. That I blew up his pager that week. I said all good stuff other then asking to not talk to my friends. It wasn’t a lot but it did take several pages since the pager doesn’t allow you to text much. What is he doing? I figure I leave him alone…if I see him just smile and love him so he can see the changes. But it is very hurtful that he didn’t respect my wishes. Is he testing me?
#9 Give them plenty of space and freedom. One reason guys don’t want to commit is because they often feel like it’ll trap them. They want their freedom and space so if they don’t even become official with someone, they’ll keep it. That’s how they think, anyways. Show him that you’re more than happy to give him that space and he’ll be more willing to commit. [Read: 10 obvious hints guys give when they need more space]
Thanks, and I am happy you enjoy the articles. It seems as though you gave him too much early on. I know right now it hurts but what I would suggest you do is focus on you and what makes you happy. Push away a little bit because he has to feel as though he is losing you too. Slow the pace of things when he reaches back out and don’t come off too eager for a relationship. The one thing I have to mention here is if he is not ready for a relationship with you then you cannot force this. The best thing you can do is take a step back and let him pursue you.
For instance, tell him that you need some time to work on your individual goals, and that requires you to be alone and have some quiet time to think. Or, you can do what my friend does. She credits going out of town once a month to a weekend yoga retreat as very important to her spiritual health. Since her husband is not into yoga or spirituality, he has no desire to come along and doesn’t get offended because he knows that she finds it important to rebalance and be a better person and wife in general. But, he is reminded of how important she is in his life when she goes, and he misses her presence every time she has to go away.
Obviously, when you’re in love with someone, you want to spend much time with that person. But to create a feeling to miss you, you need to sometimes not be with him. You don’t always have to give up all your time for him. Your boyfriend is not going to miss you if you’re always available. Find things that you can put into yourself. Create your own space and time away from him. While it is important to spend time together to win his heart, it is equally important to give some space so that he’ll realize how special you are and how much he really misses you.
My ex (5 month relationship) broke up with me two months ago and a week later went straight to a rebound relationship. He text me out of the blue and asked me how I was and then said we should go get food. He also said that he wants to just be friends. So my question is, why the heck is he texting me to go get food when he is still dating his “rebound”?! I still have feelings for him and he knows that. Hence the reason he told me he just wants to be friends. Everybody knows you can’t be “just friends” with a guy you still have feelings for. I feel like he is playing games with me and going to get food is only going to hurt me more….knowing he doesn’t want to date me. What should I do? Not go? Or TRY to be “Just Friends”??
You don't have to stay in the dark forever, though. If it's been about six months and they hasn't dropped one hint about where they see this going, casually speak up, says Jennifer Kelman, a licensed social worker and relationship expert at Pearl.com. For example, if you'd like them to meet your parents, ask if they'd be up for going out to dinner, but let them know there's no harm if they're not quite ready for that yet. Above all, keep the tone light and maintain open lines of communication. (Related: How Soon Is Too Soon to Get Engaged?)
You’re in a relationship and everything seems to be going swell. You hang out all the time, he sends you goodnight texts every night, and he even surprises you with cute little gifts at your office. But lately it seems like the relationship is lacking. He’s not doing those cute things he used to do and it almost seems like he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. What gives? Here’s 10 common reasons why men pull away from women.

Now, I want to make this very clear: I am not saying you must be a certain weight or go out of your way to be a certain way to fit some societal idea of what is right. I am not saying this. I am simply being honest about how men are going to be the most attracted to you when you are in the best shape for you. I am talking about doing the best with your unique body shape that you can. healthy is hot. Again, healthy not emaciated or unhealthy. Try to invest time in what you eat and add some light working out to your routine. You will feel and look your best.


We all know that distance makes the heart grow fonder. When we are together all the time with someone, it can become quite boring and even annoying after a while, depending on the relationship. Being together constantly can take a huge toll on how you feel about each other, which is why experts recommend that giving each other reasons to miss each other may just be the best thing that you can do for your relationship.
OMG…I think we’re in the same exact place. And after reading this article, I think I know exactly what to do. I’ve been so consumed with getting hurt again, that I’ve totally missed the fact that the guy I was previously dating kept wanting to hold on to me, even though he keeps saying he doesn’t want a relatinship. THAT’S A CLEAR TED FLAG FOR ME. I recently broke it off with him because he refused to commit, but the next time, I’ll get it right….THIS ARTICLE IS SO PROFOUND!
It has NOTHING to do with lying about your feelings, but about not chasing the other person when they need time and space, and TRUSTING the other person. When you chase, it basically signals him that you don’t trust him. Believe it, I know it’s counter-intuitive and for women, it’s a mystery, but it is TRUE. You want to date a guy, right? Then PLEASE understand it is natural for guys to want to find the balance between intimacy and independence, vulnerability and strength, relationship and freedom. If he need space, GIVE HIM SPACE. It says NOTHING about lying — it’s just it’s not the right time to discuss your feelings. Pick another time, like when you two are ready to have a talk — when he is feeling closer to you. Choose the right time and the right words. That’s all. No one says you should be lying about how you feel; and trust me, if you really are not happy to hear from him, then maybe you should just call it quits because that “love” is not real. I mean, if a child runs away and then comes back, would you ever feel and say “I don’t want to see you?” That’s just selfish, and love. Trust me, and this from a guy who has been on that side of the fence.
My advice to you is: if you are not contented with your status quo, then leave, and learn to genuinely love yourself first. Do you honestly want a man who would continue to get the benefits of a committed relationship but does not want a committed relationship with you? If so then carry on but trust me that leads to despair. Leaving him and loving yourself first will benefit the both of you in the long run.
They’re overbearing, nagging, and completely disconnected from their man by refusing to acknowledge he has feelings of his own. Women tend to forget that women are generally emotional trains waiting to derail any second. What a self-centered attitude to tell a man to “get over it” whenever they feel mad, hurt, or sad. You are literally commanding him to.. *drum roll*… WITHDRAW!
Im in the current situation right now… He wants space for me being paranoid for past few weeks.. I really dont know wat to do, he is so busy and stressed from work.. He asked for space, i ask him if he is breaking up with me he said no he just need time and space for the meantime… Need your advice please… I dont want us to be apart i really love him..

All these women saying “thank you for the tips” and tolerating being turned on and off at guy’s whims just because “they are like that”, “they need space” “they need to deal with one thing at a time”. Come on!! We deserve better than that. We deserve a mature person next to us, not a whimsical child-man that from his enormous ego (like many kids have) can’t see how their actions impact on those who love him and care about him.

The energy you put into the relationship is the only thing that matters. Putting in energy doesn’t come from a self-absorbed place, it isn’t attached to feelings of anxiety, fear, worry, anger, rage, resentment. You are outside of yourself and putting energy into giving him that “extra something” that makes you valuable, rare, and inspirational to the guy.
You don't have to stay in the dark forever, though. If it's been about six months and they hasn't dropped one hint about where they see this going, casually speak up, says Jennifer Kelman, a licensed social worker and relationship expert at Pearl.com. For example, if you'd like them to meet your parents, ask if they'd be up for going out to dinner, but let them know there's no harm if they're not quite ready for that yet. Above all, keep the tone light and maintain open lines of communication. (Related: How Soon Is Too Soon to Get Engaged?)

It’s especially important you avoid sex in the beginning months because players WILL take a hike. For those guys, there is easier “prey” out there and they will avoid you if they sense you’re going to make them wait. Force him to learn who you are. Then after the first sexual encounter, make him work doubly hard for the second. It only escalates until he commits.

What women think men want from them often causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them often causes them much of the same feelings and frustration. The sad part is that it does not have to be this way, if only we would realize that both men and women are human beings first and pretty much want the same thing. But, you don’t have to take my word for this. I asked a number of men and women who are actively involved in personal growth and development what they want from a partner in order to build a great relationship. You will find their answers unexpected.
All these women saying “thank you for the tips” and tolerating being turned on and off at guy’s whims just because “they are like that”, “they need space” “they need to deal with one thing at a time”. Come on!! We deserve better than that. We deserve a mature person next to us, not a whimsical child-man that from his enormous ego (like many kids have) can’t see how their actions impact on those who love him and care about him.

I hear a lot from women about how the men they meet on dating apps seem to be allergic to commitment of any kind. I’m not sure why this is. Maybe it’s got something to do with feeling like they have unlimited choices when it comes to women to date. Research shows that the more choice we have, the harder it is to commit to making a decision, and that certainly applies to online dating.
@ Jackie if a guy ever tell you to STOP calling/texting him give him just what he asking you for which is no contact It seems to me he got what he wanted sex from you and was No longer interested in anything other that. I know as a woman it hurts to be treated like that it happens but learn from it, next time take more time to get a real feeling of what a guy true intentions are in my opinion 1 month is too soon to give a guy your precious body too he obviously has moved on and so should you. Keep in mind he may reappear but you have to be a Strong woman and not go back to his way of treating you distancing himself from you be more available for the right guy to come into your life. Forgive him and dont look back go on with your life.

Out of all other advice out there that I was reading, your information is the most that made perfect sense to me, you, at your young age, you have a lot of experience that you were able to collect, organize perfectly and,…help people! It’s an incredible collection that is easy to read, relate and understand, material, which is fun, no BS:), freely given, not always trying to sell another product, deep, personal, open, detailed, incredibly valuable, abundant and helpful not only in relationships between man and woman, but in life in general. When you write about having a particular mindset, you talk about things that was a missing ingredient for me when it came to decide that you really are above a lot of other so called relationship gurus!
Big mistake! How can he possibly miss you if you’re giving him the same amount of time you always give him? The “gift of missing you” means that you keep all communications BRIEF. You have obligations to hang out with your girlfriends, not divide your time between them and him. Frankly, it’s disrespectful to your friends…and all it really shows him is that you’re a pushover. Men take advantage of weak women.

Do you think that you need to get into bed with a man just to keep him in your life?  Typically speaking, nothing could be further from the truth.  Having sex is not the solution to winning your man.  In fact, it can actually cause the exact opposite if he thinks you are loose with your morals. Giving yourself fully to who you believe your man is can remove the challenge and find him rushing off to accomplish another quest. Go with your gut instincts.
Many articles on how to get a man to commit tell you to make him laugh, and do fun stuff with him. If you think your man is funny, laugh. If he has achievements, great or small, congratulate him. The phrase that says encouragement sweetens labor can be edequately applied to relationships. Show him that you appreciate his sense of humor, and he will not only feel as the center of attention, but the center of your world; ensure that he always know that you appreciate him. That is one of the ways how to make a man commit and create an unbreakable bond with you. You will become his number one girl, and you showing appreciation and genuine interest in him is what makes him want to commit.
This is actually the way dating used to work in the old days. Take my aunt, who has been happily married for several decades. She once told me how, when she got engaged to my uncle, she had to write three “Dear John” letters to men she was seeing! And, by the way, she said this to me as my uncle was sitting right beside her with a glint in his eye. My aunt was a smart lady: She was taking care of herself first by making sure she was committing to the right man – someone who completely adored her and wanted to give her his heart forever.
This whole post really does make me think. Perhaps we have been conditioned to think that giving our partner space is the appropriate way to act? And, in a lot of cases it does cause the relationship to become somewhat stable again. But, I honestly think that if someone asks for space, or “changes”by contacting you less, it is a sign that they are an emotionally unstable person, who will only break you by making you feel paranoid.
You were the kind who used to put the entire world on hold to attend his call. Not anymore. Pick up his calls, but not every time. Give him an excuse that you were busy, and that you didn't notice he called. Don't be too rude or blatant, but tell him you have been occupied. Let him ring you. Talk to him sometimes, but in brief. For once, he'll wonder what the heck is up with you all of a sudden, but once he realizes that you aren't that available now, he'll be left with no other choice but to miss you, and wait till you get back.
hello! well i ve read this article and i want to share my story also. I met this guy online and we “clicked” immediately. we ‘ve been texting-videocalling all the time and he told me from the beginning he was looking for sth serious etc. He called all the time and texted A LOT. we werent in a relationship since we haven’t met yet but we promised to meet in 4 months from now. the thing is he became a lot more distant this week. he doesn’t call or text as often. dont get me wrong he still does but if he sent 20 messages a day now he sends 5 . maybe he got scared because i am kind of clingy sometimes but at the beginning he seemed to not bother at all. i like him so much and i am afraid he might bail on me . what should i do? as far as i know asking him is not a good idea right?
I tried to ask him why and fix things but it got worse everytime I tried and when we were on the ph he ignored me the calls were silent and when I did say something he ignored me :( we used to be close we were friends on snapchat he chose to ignore me but still watched my mystory and it went on like that 4 weeks till I got upset and blocked him on my snapchat but still have him on Skype and his # we even would mail each other presents for holidays I fear he may have moved on and doesn’t like me anymore

Hi I met dis guy Oct 1st 2015 tru my best friend I didn’t actually liked him at first but into it I began to fall in love with him. We discussed abt it n e promised to love me and b a beta man for me. We loved each other xo much we couldn’t stay without seeing each other. A year after d relationship I noticed e stopped calling n neva replied my messages. If we had any misunderstanding he won’t want to talk about it n e started changing from den. Early January this year I asked him if we were still in a relationship n e broke up with me saying e needed space that I was too possessive. From January till nw have called to beg him or do things like pray n fast but he doesn’t even wants to hear my name he hates me xo much n despite d hate I still love him Ave promised to b beta if e just accepts me back but e calls me desperate n obsessive. I really miss him n I always feel as if my hrt is going to explode. Please I need advice on how to get him back or on how to forget him and move on. Tanks
I feel like a guy is into me if he calls or texts something immediately after the first date. If we say goodbye and I don’t hear anything then I figure he had liked me but he didn’t like me that much! I almost always have good dates but one of us doesn’t feel a spark. So when we both agree to a second date, I feel more excited if the guy texts or calls me the next day. Nothing major just something to show me he’s thinking of me. I never ask a guy to be exclusive with me. I keep dating until he asks to be exclusive and I try to hold back from seeing him everyday until he starts showing me I matter. For me, I like a “good morning” text or a call on the drive to work. It feels warmer and connected, especially it we aren’t going to see each other that day or the next. Otherwise it constantly feels like we are starting over and the engine is cold 🙂 Ex: I just ended it with a guy I was really attracted to, he had a great job, told me I was beautiful a few times, was affectionate in public, made the effort to plan dates but then the day after the date ….nothing. Then a call the following day”Hi, just checking in”. I was so turned off I didn’t want to call back. I called and his phone dimeanor was so matter of fact. So we had a long conversation and at the end he asked if I wanted to see him again but he didn’t commit to a day! The next day -zip, nada, no call or text. Then he called again “Hi, just checking in”…What am I ? His boss? So I texted “Do you want to see me circle “yes” or ” no ” and please let me know a few days you are free before I commit to some weekend plans. He sends a cute graphic and circles “yes” but doesnt answer the question of days he is available then I don’t hear from him for another day. He calls late evening and leaves another lame message. So I figure that the reason he is “hot” and affectionate when we are together but then cold and dismissive when we are not together is that he “is not that into me” and probably juggling other women. So I text “that I dont feel a warm connection, so we should not continue” If I am wrong (which I doubt) he just needed to text or call me with the same enthusiasm and warmth he had in person. If he did, I would be excited to see him and continue.
This may come as a shock, but that tough, rugged man you’re dating gets scared of things, too. And like most other men in the world, he’s probably scared of love and long term relationships. You see, for the most part, men don’t want to be lovey dovey. They don’t want to feel mushy feelings or fall head over heels for a beautiful woman. It’ in their nature to be the tough guy who doesn’t have sensitive feelings. If he’s starting to fall in love with you, he might pull away for the simple fact that he is afraid of love and doesn’t want to fall too deep. The good thing about this reason is that most of the time, these scared men come crawling back to their lovers with flowers and a long speech about how much they love you and need you, but were afraid of slipping into the black hole of love.

Hey there. If I may, I’d like to say that we are currently in a similar situation with the ‘ex-guy-comes-back-and-the-two-of-us-starts-dating-again.’ And I can understand the emotional roller coaster you are going through and the feeling of tiredness is not new to me most particularly since I am in my last year of getting my law degree. The stress arising from thinking about his slow reaction time to my texts, and the fact that we seldom go out together are driving me up against the wall. And so I finally but gently told him that I was seriously exhausted, not just because of him, and that I needed to focus on myself first so I was implying that I would be leaving him out there for awhile while I do my own thing.


For instance, tell him that you need some time to work on your individual goals, and that requires you to be alone and have some quiet time to think. Or, you can do what my friend does. She credits going out of town once a month to a weekend yoga retreat as very important to her spiritual health. Since her husband is not into yoga or spirituality, he has no desire to come along and doesn’t get offended because he knows that she finds it important to rebalance and be a better person and wife in general. But, he is reminded of how important she is in his life when she goes, and he misses her presence every time she has to go away.
Rather than get yourself upset because your boyfriend or potential love interest hasn’t told you he misses you, take some time to think. If we take ourselves out of situations and think about what really matters, you’ll soon realize that he does miss you. Guys often don’t speak their feelings but show them through actions, perhaps he hasn’t told you he misses you lately but in fact, he does. Knowing how strong your relationship and bond is will make you realize you two are good together and that it was stupid to ever think he wouldn’t miss you.
My bf and I broke up like almost two weeks now, we’ve been dating for 2 years and half, he kept saying he doesn’t know what he wants, but he knows he still love and care for me, but recently was just really hard for both of us, we constantly fight over something, but then I found out after he broke up with me he’s talking to this girl who works in a same company as we do, he loved me so much I know that, we have lots of memories we shared, wonderful memories, he told me he loves me more than anyone else in his life, like he do really love me but he doesn’t know what he wants anymore, so we decided to break up. Now I have the feeling he is already dating this girl it’s so sad , I’m super hurt. At work I still see him kept looking at me but I dunno why I cannot see any emotions from him that he still wants me back? Is he in a rebound relationship? Do you think he’ll come back to me after I do the NCR? He said he wanted his feelings back , that feelings when we were still new , like feelings that he craves for me everyday. After I told him I’m not gonna contact him anymore he didn’t even try to contact me, so I am left confused. Does he still loves me? I unfriended him in every social media I have , it hurts to think he suddenly move on and talk to someone super quick while I’m here stressing myself out for over thinking
I’ve been seeing a guy who lives in same area, since last summer, we bump into each other at shop and been out with each other few times, all good and sparks fly when we see each other, I saw him other day in shop, we chatted for a while then he asked if I wanted a cup of tea at his as my daughter was out with friends, got to his and once again he had an errection , he says it only happens when I’m around and never happened before, I start kissing him and we ended up in bed, after I left , he text the next day hoping I had a good weekend, I replied, then all the next week he didn’t return my text but he had read it, I left it 4 days then text again, by the end of week he replied that he had a lot on funeral mediation with ex and long hours at work, which I know all this to be true, but he would still love us to stay friends, now he stopped texting and calling but only replies when I text, so I rung him, he answered my call like nothing was wrong , I also apologised for being insensitive to his feelings, meaning I may of rushed things on the day I met up with him, he said I have nothing to apologise for ? What’s happening here?
Very,very similar happened to me.so I texted him saying I missed seeing him,but since it goes days to hear back from him if I text,that I will take it as a hint he isn’t into me,and I hope he has a good life.(not bitchy or nutty,just honest)always had fun together when together.well.he gets kinda chapped at me,says via text.”don’t do that”well,he had also mentioned that he” wasn’t good with phone”wow,6 days in between texts.I am a single mom and live an hour and a half away,so trying to make “some sort of plan” is important.so why if he doesn’t text,call,does he insistI don’t move on??

Two months ago I met a man. We were so attracted to each other that it all happened so fast, on the first date. He warned me that he didn’t want a relationship… I did my best to listen to his feelings, show understanding and get some intimacy and we eventually got close and started meeting every week. I was sleeping over at his house, we were having good time, having sex, doing normal things like cooking and spending the whole weekend together. I knew he had a very problematic past – a father who never married his mother or took any responsibility, a brother from another mother who caused him problems, personal problems with drugs in the past and two broken relationships with 1) bulimic anorexic girl and 2) a girl who cheated on him 10 months ago. I was so good to listen, give him the peace he needed and be very patient with him.
My ex and I were together for 8 months in a very happy and healthy relationship. We had honest and open communication, we barely argued, great sex, we had trust and supported each other and overall just adored each other. He treated me extremely well and we were grateful for each other, his family and friends loved me and vice versa. After spending the last 5 weeks straight of our relationship together, making many memories and going on dates etc, literally overnight he told me he didn’t want a relationship anymore. To this day I can’t understand why, I gave him everything and he kept telling me I did make him happy and I was perfect and this had nothing to do with me, he just didn’t want it anymore and he needed to “be selfish and work on himself”. There’s been no contact whatsoever now for almost 2 months, but I still think about him every single day and get upset no matter how hard I’m working on myself. He had all the space and time and respect from me in the world to work on himself while in a relationship I don’t understand why I wasn’t wanted all of a sudden. Does he think about me at all? I don’t think he’ll ever regret it but the thoughts are driving me literally insane …
See, here’s the thing. When you’re contemplating on how to get him to commit, know that forcing someone to do something they aren’t ready or willing to do doesn’t really work in real life. All you will get is exactly the opposite of what you wanted – him dumping your ass and running in the other direction. Forcing your opinions can make you seem clingy, dominating or too demanding. And you don’t want him to think you’re like that, do you? You can mention about commitment a few times and then just drop that topic. If he didn’t give you a clear cut response in the past, then he may not give you a clear cut response now.
At some point, he will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to? The answer will determine whether the relationship deepens or ends. Do you know how a man decides a woman is girlfriend or wife material? Do you know what inspires a man to want to commit? If not, you need to read this article next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
In terms of marketing, I was someone who loved helping people with their relationships years before I ever charged a penny for it. So I appreciate that you like that I’m original and authentic in my work because the marketplace is filled with people who just want to sell you stuff (and the stuff they sell is recycled garbage – they don’t care if it helps or not, so long as their buyers don’t refund it en masse.) So thank you for that comment.

I stayed up late last night to read your words. I was searching for some consolation to a negative thought in my head, and I found it. And here you are again today. You nailed it. Only through extreme heartache, researching yourself, and learning the lessons can you truly appreciate your eloquently written words. You are so highly skilled. What a gift. You found your calling. Ox
Hi Heather, I see how common is for men to pull away, even if BEFORE going out for getting to know each other a little better, to basically see if we are/not a good match, as in my OWN CASE (read above). If I allowed Adam’s videos to sink in a bit, my own opinion would be that WE GIVE TO MUCH FUSS about these guys! Seriously! At least in my case, I introduced myself,, I teased him a bit and initiate a flirtatious funny SHORT conversation to give him the hint that I am INTERESTED (after I had seen him working for my attention for about 2 months) that he seemed to enjoy it very much and he already pulls away? I respect his own space as of right now, but he doesn’t get anything more from me but respecting his space, UNTIL MORE /IF ANYTHING happens! Going to another date this weekend, actually! while he has his own space, you gotta keep on circulating for your own sake and you would not have wasted your time whatever the outcome turns out to be! Am I right Adam or am I loving myself a little bit too much? :))
But I guess I still like my ex, and I MISS him, while honestly I am more peaceful than when I WAS being with him, I do wanna be with him and marry him , he is a handsome, sweet, smart and successfully man. we already talked about marriage stuffs, we agreed we were both looking for life partner before we dated. And am also worried that he is actually annoyed by me saying breaking up so much and doesn’t wanna with him, and or he just wants the advantages of having a girlfriends, while we haven’t slept with each other…
I am dating a guy in a distance relationship for about three months, at the beggining we felt unbelievable connection soulmate like, he said he wants to marry and have children, he was caring and sweet (flowers, gifts, lots of time together). However I know he cheated on me at the very beginning of dating (I forgived him because that was very fresh relation).
If you sense that all your efforts to improve your relationship are not bearing fruit, don’t delay the inevitable.  Yes, being single can appear scary at first, but better alone than stuck in a relationship that is draining the joy and spark out of you.  You don’t want to wake up at fifty or sixty years old to discover that you’ve wasted your love on a guy that never appreciated what you had to offer.
The two of you share a strong emotional and social connection with each other. It is possible that he is unable to nourish a relationship with you at this time. It is clear that he is busy, so he may have a tight schedule. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and perhaps attempt to spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Julie!
I have been in love with a guy for over ten years now and we both love each other, all of a sudden he started seeing another girl and when I confronted him about that he told me it’s true that he’s seeking another girl but he didn’t mean to and he’s madly in love with her. So I told him that we should quit but he said no that he still want to marry me. I don’t know but I think he want to marry me out of petty. I’m confused cos I love him, please l need ur help.
I'm not saying that men are right in pulling away, they also need to acknowledge the part they play in bringing out the worst side of a woman's fears. But just for your sake, for the sake of your mental and emotional health, just let go… anyway this is not the time to be having "talks" about the relationship because he'll most likely be unable (or unwilling) to have such deep convos during such a time.
Knew this guy in middle school he was in love with me.. lost touch and about 2 months we started talking. But I always have to call him.think he called me twice so far including returned phone calls. And he always dose the talking always when i talk its interruptred are non responcive. ButTalked daily and decided to meet briefly about two weeks ago. We talked for a about 15 20 min.then it went real fast real quick. I said no a few times before I just gave in. Now its we talk every other day to maybe once a week. He’s said a few times about going out before sex and once after but includes that we should end that date with sex. I have asked him where he stands after we had sex the next day made it clear that was not like me and that it was to soon. He said it was built up and he agrees it was soon. Says he is content with his life but then says if he didn’t want to talk to me he’d say so……..I feel like I f***ed up by haven sex to soon and all he wants is ass now. What do u think
But FACT is that you have 2 choices (regardless of whether he’s a jerk and blowing you off, or if he genuinely cares about you and just needs space), you can chase after him demanding answers, or you can just breathe and get your own space, some me-time, rejuvinate yourself, get happy again outside of him. In time he will either disappear, never to be seen again, or he will come back. The point is that either way you will be fine because you’re happy anyway. This compared to chasing him, hunting him down, where you lose yourself in trying to get him/get answers/get even <– this is not healthy, and you end up sadder than if you just let go. 
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