Love your blog!! My boyfriend and I recently broke up after our vegas trip which we took for new years everything was so amazing up until the day before we left… then all hell broke loose he told me once we get home to go grab all my stuff from his house never contact him ever again to just leave him alone because he wants to start the new year single and just focus on him self…we’ve had many break ups before but I know deep down he has a very soft heart and has a super soft spot for me only knowing this because I was the only women who ever took so much care of him and gave him so much attention and love and spoiled him…first!! When we landed he was happy the same day we landed was my birthday…and I had got and huge cold within the 2 day time frame so once we landed I drove him home and no everything was fine laughing talking normal when I dropped him off he came to my window and kissed my hand and said feel better and walked away….so I drove off went home….the next day I was super sick with a cold still he came over with a bag of my stuff…an box of tissues….and a birthday cake which made me cry then sang me happy birthday by my bed and let me blow out the candles…we shared a peice and then he went home but just before he left i said i have the body wash and conditioner you can take it home and he replied but your never coming over again you keep it…couple days later I wasn’t feeling the greatest almost fainted in the shower so i called him and asked him to take me to emergency he did….everything was okay at the hospital in was told when in got my room to remove everything but panties and wear the gown….so I did and asked him to tie the back of the gown for me when he stood up I was turned so he stood behind me and I felt that he had a hard on so if started to laugh….after the whole hospital situation I thought we were okay….so I started asking him on the way home why can’t we be together after skinny focus together and things escalated and when I left the car we were in a huge fight he told me don’t call me text me leave me alone for good I don’t need drama or stress that’s afterskingndll you are….so I’d left it’s been a week almost since we talked and yesterday he sent me a msg asking how I was feeling and if i had been eating…so i replied felling much better and I eat when I remember because of my job…. he said I still love you I said love you to and then at night he had called me so is picked up he said is miss you do you miss me? I said yeah kept it very neutral today he called me but is didn’t answer so is sent him a text saying call u in 45 getting a facial done he replied it’s ok I just had a question…so I replied what’s up he never answered so when I was done I tried calling back twice he never answered so I sent a msg and said can’t answer now? ? So later on I had fell asleep and woke up around 8 with a horrible bad dream so ih sent him a text because that’s what I always used to do or call him….and said had a bad dream thought id text you don’t mind this msg….he replied maybe 10 minutes after saying it’s ok I love you….so I replied love you to…then he replied 10 minutes later saying miss me? And that’s when I stopped msging him…is did want to give him the satisfaction of saying yes I do….so he sent another msg saying ok….then another after saying….want to come over tonight chill and watch a movie? As bad as I wanted to say yes I didn’t. …and now I need help in want him back but he’s so rude and mean sometimes…. when he gets into his moods….but I love him when he’s not in any bad moods and he can be the most amazing person ever!!! What do I do!!! Please help!!

High levels of stress can do many things including destroy relationships.  If the stress of commitment is getting to him you may find him pulling away until it clears.  If you chase after him in you could find the result is that you have pushed him clear out of your life.  Give him space and time to think.  Be available but create that mystique that found him seeking you out in the first place. i.e Just be You
Switch to straightforward communication when you're ready for more. Making him miss you might turn his head initially, but eventually he'll get bored if you wait forever to answer his texts or avoid him for too long between dates. He might also catch on to your plot to make him miss you if you spend too much time bragging about the fun you have without him. Instead of figuring out new ways to make him miss you, try telling him how you really feel.

Men are rules by their egos. It is somethng that they cannot seem to help as it is just a part of their makeup. If he thinks that you really want him to be committed, he might do the opposite. Why? Men do not like to be led to think that they have been coerced or led somewhere that they had no intention of going. To get him to commit dont even think about forcing him to. If you have been trying hard to get him to see only you, the best thing is to pause your campaign and just enjoy where you are in the relationship. You have already expressed the desire to commit and if he wants to, no amount of force will get him there. Jut relax and allow him to see the real you and you wont need to bend his arm to be committed to you. The more you make it seem unimportant the more he will want you to want commitment from him.


The best new boyfriend advice is to drop any effort on your part to close that space. Resist the temptation to ask him what’s wrong or to step up your efforts in order to get a response from him. Don’t call him or email him or drop by his place. Let him make the choice to come to you. When he does, it also makes you feel better. It makes you feel desired by him.
When you miss someone, it is hard not to reach out to that person. You want to be in daily communication, sometimes hourly. But if you want a man to really miss you, you must pull away. Do not call him or text him. If you continually reach out, he will never have anyone to miss. You must give this special person a reason to miss you. When you do stop contacting him, Mr. Right will wonder just why it is you’ve suddenly gone silent on him. Rule one is to cut off contact. This is a super hard task for us girls because we like to be in constant communication with the people we care about. Guys are so much better at not reaching out because they’re not that great at communicating but for us girls this isn’t the case. However, if you want to make him miss you you’ll have to master this art!
#9 Give them plenty of space and freedom. One reason guys don’t want to commit is because they often feel like it’ll trap them. They want their freedom and space so if they don’t even become official with someone, they’ll keep it. That’s how they think, anyways. Show him that you’re more than happy to give him that space and he’ll be more willing to commit. [Read: 10 obvious hints guys give when they need more space]
I hope everything works for you, MissPeru. I spent a year in a long distance relationship (Taiwan and the United States), and it was not an easy thing to do. The only thing that helped in my case was the knowledge that we would eventually live near each other again. By the way, what is it that he does for work that takes so much focus? Did he ever plan on moving to be closer to you?

If you cannot control your feelings, then I would suggest for you not to maintain a relationship with this person. Furthermore, I always think it’s vital to any starting point in dating or a relationship to be clear about each other’s expectations. If you are looking for a relationship, then let the other person know early on! If not, then say so. There have been too many times that I’ve seen a woman dating a man for months on end, only to end up getting hurt because it became a purely physical “modern relationship” in which the man never truly committed. The two never set the expectations for a relationship, or the woman sat in silence out of fear of being pushed away, hoping he would come around.
See, if he has already introduced you to his friends and family, that’s a good sign. It means he likes you and trusts you enough to open up about the people in his life. So use that to your advantage. Hang out with his friends and family as often as you can. Make plans to watch movies, hang out at the mall or just go shopping. And then make them have a great time. If these people end up liking you, he too will end up liking you more, thus accelerating his chances of committing to you.
Remember that oh so fabulous life you’re living following the end of your relationship? Well, it just got even better because your friends just invited you on a girls trip to a tropical island! It’s the perfect opportunity for you to get away, get some sun, sip a few cocktails, and forget all of your worries. And since your ex no longer gets the privilege of stalking you on social media (you did unfriend him, right?) you have to find a way to let him know just how much fun you’re having on your trip. That’s where the postcard comes into play. To really make your ex miss you, have the best time of your life on your vacation, and mail him a postcard from your exotic locale. It’s the easiest way to show him that your life hasn’t stopped since the demise of your relationship, and don’t be surprised if he calls you as soon as you return home to get all the deets on your amazing trip.
I’ve been “hanging out” with this guy off and on for two years. Before meeting him I read books on this exact subject. I’ve been married and divorced twice so I wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing if I got involved with a man again. I’m very opened about my feels I always have been. I like that about myself but in the past I’ve also been pushy wanting things to happen right away. Now with this guy I’m “hanging out” with has pulled away a lot in the 2 yrs I’ve been seeing him, but he had always come back. I think it’s because I always gave him his space. Since being married and divorced twice taking things slow was fine with me. Just recently though, I couldn’t help myself and I told him that I loved him. I thought for sure he was going to pull away, but he didn’t not right away anyways. In fact, we talked about making it exclusive. I was so happy because it’s what I had been waiting patiently for two years for. Recently, we had a two year anniversary of when we met so being the person I am I gave him a card. I said a paragraph of very heartfelt things. I knew this would definitely make him pull away from me and I was right. Even though I know when it’s going to happen it still doesn’t make it easy to deal with. I love him and I want him to know this. I want him to know that I accept him for who he is. I feel the only way I’m going to get him to trust me is by letting him have his time away from me. When he comes back he’s different, for instance, he more loving sweeter. I believe him when he says he’s happy with me. He too has been in difficult relationships in the past that broke his heart. Love isn’t meant to go fast. Love takes time. I’m glad it’s going this way even though it’s hard because I came from abusive background and it’s why my marriages ended. This guy inspires me to grow and find myself. I’ve started back to school at 43 yrs old because of his encouragement. I don’t feel I have to be someone I’m not when I’m with him. I feel safe when I’m with him. I want him to feel the same when he’s with me. I feel that’s what true love is all about. I may love him but he’s not my whole world, he’s only part of it.
I felt like the guy I was seeing was pulling away from me because we worked different shifts, but in the beginning we would find time to chill or I would find a way to see him, even though some times I wasn’t lucky because he has kids too or needed sleep from his hectic schedule. I recently texted him that I was stepping back to give him some space, but I haven’t heard from him. We went out on one date and even Netflix and chilled on several occasions, but when I brought that we haven’t done much he claimed he had to get adjusted to his new schedule and sleep pattern, but sometimes slip up and tell me he had gone out, went to hang out at a party, etc… I feel like I should hit him up and explain why I texted him that but part of me feels like I should leave it alone and see if he comes back naturally…..how do I get over this feeling

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As humans, we value things we need to work for, and if something we work for suddenly gets pulled away, it drives us crazy. So while he might have thought he could coast along, texting you to get together whenever it was convenient for him, you’ve made it clear that you value yourself more than that. He will need to work hard to be in your world…and your cool and collected response makes him want to.
I hope this article helped you understand what to do if a guy is pulling away. It’s a question I get asked a lot – so I wrote this article as a ‘band-aid’ to get rid of the worst of the symptoms right away. It’s important to note that if you really want him to stop pulling away forever, you need more powerful advice. If you’re ready for that, you need to read this right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
In this article, I am going to walk you through a step by step process on why these issues may happen. I ask for you to not only read but take the time to see if any of these situations sit with you. Once you notice a situation that has occurred for you previously or currently I want you to ask yourself where this is coming from? I work with many clients and this is the most common thing woman face these days. I invite you to share your comments below and I will personally answer questions you may have and try to give you my advice tailored to the question you’ve asked. I love hearing from you so please feel free to post a comment.
If you still communicate with your ex-boyfriend, you have many opportunities to make him miss you! Whether the two of you chat on the phone or exchange text messages every few days, in order to make him miss you, you need to tell him just how fabulous your day has been! After a break up, guys expect you to crawl into a hole and cry your eyes out for the next few months. But even if you’re feeling like your world is falling apart, you have to give the impression that everything is going awesome in your world. You should be happy and always telling him about the positive things that are going on in your life. Since you’re not acting the way a typical girl would act after the end of a relationship, it will draw him closer to you. Your spunky and upbeat attitude will remind him just how much fun you are, and he will be dying to be a part of your life once again.
Getting him to commit to your relationship will be much more difficult if you keep nagging him about the same old things, over and over again. This is one of the major things you want to avoid if you are asking yourself the question how to get him to commit to you. There is nothing more annoying for a man than a whiny, spoiled woman who doesn’t stop nagging him about every single thing. If you are doing it all the time, stop it. The only thing you will achieve ios driving him up the wall or away from you. Making him run away from you will make your job twice as hard. Instead, embrace the new tactic. Let him loose a bit, and that doesn’t have to mean he can cheat or do what he wants. No. Just find another way to word out what you are bothered with, and sometimes being silent is golden as he will be wondering what is on your mind. If you still don’t know how to get him to commit, we got one more trick up our sleeve.

Hi I’m a gay female and I had a one year relationship with a girl at work but she had a bf she was only working as an internship and left 6 weeks ago since leaving she has said that she only wants to be friends and if we can’t be friends we shouldn’t speak but I don’t think ndearstand why she changed her mind so quickly she’s gone from saying I love you everyday to not wanting to talk to me at all really and when I try to talk to her she just gets angry and rude with me, I miss her everyday and gutted that she’s choosing to stay with her bf that’s she’s cheated on for a year then even try and sort things out with me I don’t know what to think or do anbout the situation I try not to txt her but it’s hard coz I miss her so much we doesn’t nearly everyday together for a year and now no contact at all she she replies if I txt but will never txt me first she says she donsnt think about me or love me anymore and only misses me as a friend after 2 weeks of being apart she said that to me I said then her feelings couldn’t of been there in the first place and she says think what you want?! I dunno what to think!

This is essentially the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic relationship. A healthy relationship is one where two people feel fulfilled by their individual lives and let that joy and sense of fullness spill into their relationship. They each bring something to the table and can comfortably give and receive. A dysfunctional relationship is when one or both people believes the other person can “give them” something or that there’s something to “get” from the other person.
Another ways to make my boyfriend miss me and want to see me is to do what he likes. Every guy has a thing that he really likes from his girlfriend. For instance, maybe he likes a certain way you dress or tie your hair. When you meet or see him, do those things that he really likes from you. When he remembers these little moments, he will miss you.
It is possible that he is busy, especially if his business is very important to him. If you want to spend more time with him, then share your feelings with him directly and honestly. It is certain that he will attempt to spend more time with you if he is able. If he is not able, but you need to be around him more, then be sure to let him know that you are having concerns about the lack of time that you spend together. Whatever you do, continue to remain positive and mindful as you move forward. Best of luck, Tarryn!
As much flack as classic romantic comedies receive for being unrealistic, some of their messages ring loud and true when explaining why men pull away. More often than not, experts explain most men withdraw for one of three reasons: they’re lost interest because he doesn’t see a future for your twosome, he’s afraid of becoming too vulnerable with you, or he feels rushed to commit to a more serious union.
In other words: he becomes the center of your world and ultimately, that makes him even more distant. When a man senses that you’re so invested in him and how he feels about you, he becomes turned off. He was attracted to you in the first place because you had a life outside of him. He loved the fact that you made yourself responsible for your own happiness.
Answer: You can’t make someone be at the same place as you. The only thing you can do is give him the space he needs to figure out if he wants to join you or move on. Let him go and figure things out, and if he is ready to move forward with you, he’ll let you know. Pushing him is only going to drive him farther away and will make him think you aren’t the one. [Read: The 10 best kept secrets to making a man commit to you]
Let him go. If he’s not ready you can’t make him be with you. I know its hard to let go but you’ll be happier in the long run. Go out more, take a dance class or start jogging it really helps. Do sonething new that you always wanted to do. Life isn’t always about being in a relationship. Live your life! Don’t worry about him I’m sure you’ll find someone without even thinking.
This does not necessarily mean you are a boring person. It may just be that the two of you don’t have much in common and he’s noticed it sooner than you. There’s really not much you can do about that. If the two of you don’t have similar interests or you simply don’t jive, it’s probably best to stop the relationship before it gets any further. He could also become bored with you if the two of you tend to do the same things all the time, for instance: dinner date at the same restaurant every Wednesday, same conversations being repeated over and over again. If that is the case, try switching up your date ideas and finding new things to do and talk about with each other.

You only just met this guy, and he made it clear he wasn’t leaving. You were still in the honeymoon/ infatuation phase when you left. He sounds like he really liked you, but he was right o keep it light when that’s where you two were when you left. Had you stayed and got to know each other better, you would have found out whether you two were really compatible/ on the same level, etc.

It's great to call your partner mushy and cute names but you could be risking falling in the trap of the comfort zone if you are overdoing it. No matter how sensitive your guy is, deep down inside he is still a guy and could possibly be turned off if you keep using cute names all the time. Think of how he would want to hear his name from a girl and say it out loud when you call him.
So an update, my boyfriend came back. It was a mix of everything that had piled up slowly in the last 6months that he didn’t deal with effectively. This isn’t such a surprise as he spoke about it a week before such as physical and mental long work hours, debts and family issues which he felt affected the quality of our relationship. He retreated to become calm and gain clarity. Mind you, this was a 2 week retreat with only 2 ‘I’ll contact you soon’ texts so I kept my distance. When he came back I was supportive and he opened up to me. So now he just needs some support and a clear path. The last thing I’d ever do is blame him for his absence while he is going through a vulnerable time.
Before reading this article, if a guy pulled away I would have automatically assumed he was no longer interested, had met someone else or I’d done something to upset him. In addition, I most certainly wouldn’t have been happy to welcome him back with open arms. On the other hand, IF the need for space was communicated beforehand-though I’d still be wondering- then I’d have no problem with this at all.

One of the best ways to make a guy miss you is to have fun without him. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but your guy wants to be the only thing that makes you happy. If you’re having fun without him (a girls’ night out, some really cool skydiving lessons, etc.), then he’s going to want to be part of the fun. Men like to be the ones to make you smile, and if you’re smiling without him he’ll notice and he’ll pay more attention.

It’s as simple as that. If you feel like something’s not right, in all probability, something is definitely wrong. Communicate and make the effort. At times, the relationship may be a failed cause because your man’s a bad guy. But almost always, the relationship stagnates because you and your lover have started to take the relationship for granted. [Read: 25 relationship rules for a successful long term relationship]


Being friends with benefits makes it easy for him to get what he wants and often results in men pulling away. Maintaining a real friendship without an attachment of the desired outcome can give him the opportunity to see you in a different light when he is ready. It’s important to keep your options open and not focus all of your energy on one person if you know what I mean. 😉

If you’re missing him, odds are he’s used to you fawning over him. Switch things up when you see him and treat him like a good friend instead of the man who’s keeping your mind occupied all of the time. Hold back the feelings you have for him even thought it may be difficult. Be polite, courteous, and not flirtatious before saying goodbye during your chance encounter. This is more effective if you have another man by your side. When he realizes he doesn’t have a hold on you, then the wheels will start turning and you'll be on his mind. Of course, this may also backfire and get him to think that you’re not interested in him so practice discretion when going this route. If he’s sensitive and this could hurt him emotionally it’s best to keep other guys at a distance, try the other options listed.
I want to start off by saying thank you for adding a guys input Eric! My question is how do know if your inspiring him to be his best self and inspire him in his lifes mission if you dont know what that is? The guy im kind of seeing has only initiated deep conversation once and it was to ask what i thought about us. Am i supposed to ask him out right or am i supposed to try and figure it out all on my own?
So im a guy, and my gf of 2 years broke up with me. Im so in love with her that i would marry her if i could. Im 23, ahe is 21. The whole problem is that she is young and curious and i was her first everything…. now the hard part is that she wants to see how other people treat her, she met a giy at her job and they kissed and im broken up over it but i still love her all the same. We ended on really good terms and im happy she is just so honest with me. She has always been like that, she didnt want to hurt me in the relationship so she thought this was the best course. She loves me to death and she always tells me that she wishes she lived her life before she met me so we can be happy now. I believe her bc she has always told me this. Now its summer, school ended and she is going to mexico with her family for a whole month. I would love nothing more than to just be with her. Idk why but i have a this strong feeling we will get back together in the future. Ohhh and btw she said that i should live my life and not just wait around. She is so perfect and caring its hard to just let that go. Should i go the summer without talking with her? Everyone tells me to just leave her, but my heart and my mind knows what it wants. I wouldnt want another relationship or anything serious with anyone else unless it was with her. If you need any more info just ask. Thank you
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