Let things progress naturally and look at the evidence: Do they try to see you whenever they're free? Do they seem genuinely interested in what you have to say? Does they have as much fun on dates as you do? These are likely signs they're in it for real, so enjoy being with them and relax about making things "official." "People who are wary of commitment want to feel like they're the one choosing to be with you—they don't want to feel like they're being coaxed into a cage," Trespicio adds.
my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me and he said his tired of all the fighting and his reached his breaking point. yes his years we’ve been fighting a lot and it was also wearing me out but I always told myself that I would fight for the relationship and thought all the fighting were probably tests to see how strong our relationship is. I begged him and told him I’ll do anything to make him happy and try to minimize the fighting, he wasn’t interested. its been a month since we broke up and o last spoke to him two weeks back and he said I should move on then said he needs time with no communication, he even removed all our pictures from his social media. I love him and he genuinely loved me. he told me that he has never had a gal that loved him like I did and he doubt he’ll ever find her but his not sure if he still wants to be with me, his heart wants me but his mind doesn’t. please advise
My ex and I had been seeing each for a year and half, we are both people who never thought we would end up together but eventually it all happened. He dumped me yesterday using the excuse that he is not 100% in. Before this for the past month he has been on and off with the way he feels, sayin he wants me then testing himself to try not and see me for a week but then rocks up at my house when his drunk and with no invite. The next night he invited me over I brought up a question that’s had been bothering me for ages and from there it all went south and he ended it but then said he doesn’t want me to leave sad, we woke the next morning and said he made a mistake and doesn’t want to break up, and then And then as I left he through a 180 and changed his mind but sat there’s crying as he ended it but said he still loved me but it’s for the best. I love the boy dearly and want him back more than anything the way he has ended it has confused me beyound no doubt with his constant change in thought. He says he loves me then dumps me the next day. My worry with your steps is that he is a stubborn and when he makes a decision that usually how it’ll stay but then again he over thinks everything to a point that he hurts his head. My other worry Is that he has deleted me from most social media saying he can’t handling seeing me, so the only time he would see me is maybe out in town. How is meant to miss me if I’m not there to remind him of what his missing. I love this boy and I’m sure you can understand that it feels like I’m having a heart attack over here everytime I breath.

So, what’s the resolution for you if calling him your boyfriend and yourself his girlfriend means a lot to you? The first option is simply to wait until you’re absolutely sure he feels the same way about making it official. Often we give subtle signs to indicate we’re ready. If we start talking about dating you exclusively, you can take that as a sign. If we introduce you to our close friends on several occasions, that’s a solid sign. If we let you stay in our apartment when we’re not there, that’s a really good sign. The number-one sign that we’re ready to go formal — we invite you to dinner with our mother. (Yes, it’s our mother that counts for this one, not our dad.)
The energy you put into the relationship is the only thing that matters. Putting in energy doesn’t come from a self-absorbed place, it isn’t attached to feelings of anxiety, fear, worry, anger, rage, resentment. You are outside of yourself and putting energy into giving him that “extra something” that makes you valuable, rare, and inspirational to the guy.
The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

I was dating this guy I was working with for slightly over a month. It went extremely fast and was very intense- lots of butterflies and passion and warm fuzzies all around. Not all of that time was completely awesome- there were times he’d commit to something and back out after the last minute with an excuse like he had no gas or money to come see me. He would also text me that he felt I didn’t really want what he wanted- a future, white picket fence, etc. I tried to explain (in person) that until we had time to develop to that level that I could say I wanted that (white picket fence) in my life in the future, but I didn’t want to say or commit immediately to something that might turn out to be a lie. We got into a fight a few days after one of those conversations and what was also after a period of time where we didn’t see much of each other aside from work- five days, actually. He couldn’t make it to my house over the weekend for the aforementioned gas/money issue when I tried to make plans, and it turned out I had plans with my best friend (and roommate- no, not a guy) and an out of town guest staying at our place for most of the rest of the week. Anyway, the argument ended when I told him that if he couldn’t respect my autonomy when it came to decisions about my health and body then he could get the f*** out. He took my word for it and told me fine, he was gone. I called and texted him throughout the next day to try and talk things out, but he ignored every attempt to contact him. I was devastated, and also a bit pissed. He texted me after I had already gone to bed later that night. I went out of town the day and didn’t respond to anything he sent me throughout the day until I got home and we proceeded to get into another argument via text. It wasn’t resolved in any kind of manner. He came into work the next day and proceeded to completely ignore that I existed, and close to the end of my shift he went to his (not mine) supervisor and proceeded to accuse a co-worker and I of sabotaging his work. I can honestly say we did no such thing- I didn’t even mention that we had been dating to anyone, let alone that we had broken up. People still knew, mostly cause he couldn’t quit talking about it. Anyway, he walked out of his shift that night. The next night he did acknowledge I existed, and I tried to respond minimally and civilly. He ended up walking out of that shift too, claiming that he was being made fun of every time he entered mine and my-co-workers primary work area. That wasn’t true either- we were joking around and laughing, but not about him at all. They fired him after that. He texted me a day or after basically deriding my character and maintaining his accusations, no matter how much I tried to claim innocence. During this whole “bad” period I had intended to attempt to talk and possibly reconcile with him, but never got a chance while defending my integrity. Another period of time passed- about a week or so, and then he called me asking for some of things back, and I agreed to return them and again attempted to try to talk things out, but he was still convinced I had more or less caused his losing his job. Another week went by, and I texted him merry christmas- responded saying he missed me and knew the breakup was his fault, but made no mention of getting back together, just said he hoped I was doing well and he didn’t want ruin my day by saying anything else. I texted back and tried to express that I wasn’t angry at him and just wanted to know what had happened. That ended with a long text by me that went unanswered until a little over a week later when he texted me asking if I wanted my things. I said yes, and my roommate and I went up to get my things, which he suddenly couldn’t find. He admitted the whole dang thing was his fault and thought I could do better than him- I told him I didn’t want to do that and that I really had just wanted to talk things out if possible. He kissed me a couple different times and the night ended on a hopeful note, though I still didn’t have my things. He texted me on my way back home that he had found my things. I called the next night after I got off work and asked if I could pick them up- he sighed and said it was last time he was gonna see me. I told him that depended, but he hung up at that point. I got my things, and he told me to have a goodnight. I left, and circled back around and asked him if he really thought I gave a s*** about the ‘stuff’- I had made no attempt to get it back and wrote it off as lost. He said he had just taken a job nearer to where I lived so he could see me more easily, and at that point I thought it prudent to mention my roommate had banned him from the house- she owns it and I pay rent, so really, it was up to her. At everything kinda dissolved after that, he said that in that case nothing could go anywhere with us, and accused me of putting myself on ‘the victims side’ of the situation bringing up the whole ordeal from work again. When I asked for clarification about what exactly he meant he said, I quote, “this is bulls***, you can’t even admit it! Goodnight.” And literally left me outside in the cold. I left after that and later texted him asking if he still wanted to be with me despite all the stuff that’s happened up to that point. No answer for a few days now- honestly, I just want to know if I should expect us to be able to work things out or not. I feel heartbroken and like I’m being played at the same time, but I’d take the chance if it were presented all the same. We had what I feel was a highly passionate connection while we were together and I was beginning to fall in love with him. What do you think the chances of getting back together are?


There’s a fine line between being your most charming self and getting lost in mind-games. One way to help distinguish which side of that line you’re on is whether or not you feel like you’re being yourself. If you find yourself resorting to methods that don’t feel true to you, that’s a red flag. Even if you do manage to snag the object of your affection, are you really going to want to keep up these tricks during the relationship?
Sexting can be a risky move, and sending explicit picture of yourself via text message is a risk best left unexplored in many cases. If you want to be romantic and sexy at the same time, you could try sending a message that lets him know how much you miss him and hints at how much you want him. For instance, try something like, “Just thinking about our last night together...” or “Looking forward to our next night together...”
Don’t worry about him enjoying the free time with his friends. Of course, giving him space to enjoy is going to make you look confident and less clingy. He may seem to enjoy it, but eventually, your boyfriend will crave more time with you. So, the next time he tries to come up with excuses to hang out with his friends, let him go. If he wants to go on a boys’ trip, allow him. The more time he is away from you, the more he will realize what he’s missing. He might think his friends are important and deserves his time but he will soon learn that he can’t spend his lifetime with only them, he needs you.
However, stringing a guy along for months on end, just to “make him wait,” will inevitably pull him away from you. Many people say that if you’re dumped for having sex soon enough, then he wasn’t worth the hassle in the first place. Whilst this is true to a certain extent, attaching a timeframe before making love with someone you care about could do the same.
Create space between you and him. A guy can’t miss you if you’re always right there for him. A great way to get him to miss you is to create space between the two of you. If you spend every minute of the weekend with him, start carving out time to spend away from him. Spend a Friday night at home alone or with friends instead of hanging out with your man. At first he will probably like the time alone, but if you begin to do this regularly, he’ll start missing you in his arms.
Women’s requirements and feelings can differ to those of men, both physically and emotionally when it comes to relationship advice, therefore, our the team behind our relationship forum have decided that it would be best to create a separate relationship advice for women forum for all of the girls to participate in when asking relationship advice for girls questions. Women may have hormonal issues that are affecting their relationships and physiologically they’re completely different to men, they have separate reproductive systems, women normally have wider hips than men, men have denser bones, on average men weigh 15% more than woman, men have a Y chromosome, women have a second X chromosome, the point is, they’re both completely different, especially when it comes to love and relationships.

You don't have to stay in the dark forever, though. If it's been about six months and they hasn't dropped one hint about where they see this going, casually speak up, says Jennifer Kelman, a licensed social worker and relationship expert at Pearl.com. For example, if you'd like them to meet your parents, ask if they'd be up for going out to dinner, but let them know there's no harm if they're not quite ready for that yet. Above all, keep the tone light and maintain open lines of communication. (Related: How Soon Is Too Soon to Get Engaged?)

This is a helpful article. I was the dumpee and it’s been 3 months now and I gone through a relapse phase but now decided that I’m going off social media completely. A week ago my ex logged into my social media accounts, does this have any meaning? I’m not wanting to rekindle this relationship I just want to know he’s suffering as much as me by doing that?
Don’t be confused by the earlier advice to not be overly available. By resisting the urge to jump for your phone the second he texts, you let a guy know not to take you for granted. That’s not the same as trying to make him view you as some magical being impossible to keep track of. When you value the rest of your life instead of constantly obsessing over your crush, you automatically become more desirable. This is genuine instead of manipulative, and eventually, a guy will pick up on which one you’re doing.
You need a bit of mystery to get him to miss you, this is something not to forget. If you’re an avid social media user, don’t update your status too frequently, limit the number of pictures you share, and pause on the Facebook quizzes for the time being. Or if you want to take a Facebook quiz go ahead but just don't share the results, as that can be very annoying for anyone on your newsfeed. Additionally, don’t interact with your special guy on social media. If he posts a status or picture, don’t comment or even like the post. Did he share a story on Snapchat? Resist viewing it. Maintain the image that you’re too busy to obsess about his social media activity. It could be hard to do because he looks so cute in his latest Insta photo but you’ll have to be strong. Resist him now and he’ll be yours later!

I know right now can be difficult but it’s important you pull back and give him space to see if he will show up for you. Sometimes in relationships, you can be taken for granted and if he is not moving towards you to find comfort when he isn’t making you a priority. I would not reach out to him and keep yourself busy. Do something that makes you happy and do something you have been wanting to do for a while. Watch this video as I believe this will help you as well. All the best and hope this helps! https://youtu.be/IHxpL_E4Ihg
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#7 Withdraw if they seem too hesitant. Not much will make a guy commit faster than the fear of losing you if they don’t. However, you can’t give them an ultimatum. Just simply stop talking as much if he starts showing you he’s not ready to commit. This might scare him into realizing how much you really mean to him. [Read: 15 ways to get a man to chase you and fall hard] 

Ok firstly all the hormone talk is true and your man goes through a 30 day cycle just like our 28 day cycle but opposite hormones. If your man is constantly pulling away not answering messages etc he is not finding himself he is rude, inconsiderate and needs to get his act together cause these ones head for divorce number 4 before the end of their lives. A man wanting time to himself is fine, go to the man cave but you have responsibilities here at home, don’t forget those or you’re in the doghouse. You pull away expect your woman to pull away right back, were not your Mummas be a man, a man never makes his woman Chase him. A man loves the Chase. Raise your son’s to have respect for women. Because going into their mancaves for days or weeks says these things: 1. You’re a control freak narcissist, 2. You have no love or respect or hmbleness in your heart, 3. Your woman is now available! ye! That’s right ladies say bye! You deserve better. Good luck.

well, i agreed (how could i not, he’s cute ;) ). i wasn’t sure if he’d show up. but he did. he did cook n it was awesome. during the party he asked me not to leave the city. when i told him i had no reason to stay back. he said there may be now. so we saw each other everyday after that. went out . he really took care of me, shared about his family. we really like each other. he even said lotta times he really liked me and that he was sad i was leaving. asked me to stay, coupla times. but i really needed to leave. he even came to see me off. things changed totally after i left. he did not call. when i did, he spoke normally and said he had been caught up. later after a week or two, he did nt show any interest to call. so i stopped calling too. once i called him n asked what was goin on. to my surprise he said we enjoyed together. but he cant do long distance. I’m flabbergasted how can anyone just shut off things just like that. was he pretending all the while?
Getting a man to miss you can be tiring, so make sure you have the patience for it. Also, remember, men love to chase you, so give him something to work for. And if that's not enough to get a guy to miss you, we recommend you read James Bauer's Respect Principle, his best-selling relationship guide basically hypnotizes men to fall and stay in love with you with 1, dead-simple tip.
Over-thinking the situation will manifest itself into clingy and needy behavior that your guy will sense, and it will definitely turn him off on being in a relationship with you. So try to keep your thoughts to yourself. Don’t be so quick to share every little story with everyone, and remain cool, calm and collected. He’ll probably be so impressed with how laid back you are, that he won’t be able to stop himself from asking you to be his girlfriend.
It's like with dogs or children — you stick to your guns and you politely, patiently repeat the boundaries until they respect them. He gets it or he gets lost. Period. If you truly start to follow this theory, he'll feel how serious you are about being respected, and if he's at all serious about you, he'll get aboard the good boy train very fast. He'll know that if he doesn't, he'll be left at the station!
Plan some sort of trip or vacation so you’re not at home being sad. Ten years ago, I went through a pretty rough breakup of a 2-year relationship. Rather than staying home and feeling sorry for myself, the first thing I did was book a trip to visit my brother in Washington DC. It was great because, while sure, he and I talked a little about the breakup, I was distracted just enjoying my bro time.
We’ve been together for 7 months but I broke up with him 5 days ago, I did it before but I begged him to take me back instantly, this time I’m not gonna beg or talk to him because I know he took me for granted and I don’t want that. He didn’t even read my break up message yet.. how will I know if he misses me when he naturally doesn’t text very fast (which is the reason for our break up) and not on social media much + there is no contact between us??
In this article, I am going to walk you through a step by step process on why these issues may happen. I ask for you to not only read but take the time to see if any of these situations sit with you. Once you notice a situation that has occurred for you previously or currently I want you to ask yourself where this is coming from? I work with many clients and this is the most common thing woman face these days. I invite you to share your comments below and I will personally answer questions you may have and try to give you my advice tailored to the question you’ve asked. I love hearing from you so please feel free to post a comment.

Thanks for your comment. The only thing I would “call out” about this is when you say if they want you no matter the circumstances, you know it. The reason being is because he has proven it to you over time. He is not in a vulnerable state and also going through a lot. Typically a man under financial stress and job stress takes a significant toll on his ego and self-dignity. It’s a different stress. Losing someone you welcome support because he had no control over it. Now, the other stuff he possibly did and is having a significant amount of guilt. What I would suggest is that you step back a bit and let him reach out when he is ready. I do believe checking in with him from time to time is good and not let your ego get the best of you. Be positive in your time and conversations with him right now. Do not input any additional stress and let things progress naturally. Show him that you will support him even if that’s giving him some time to breathe. You will find out the answer. I would encourage you to also book a session with me here so I can give you exact tailored advice for your situation. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/
I met this guy 6 weeks ago via tinder and we hit it off after 3 weeks. He said he wanted to be exclusive with me and we text and talk everyday even when he’s travelling. The thing is, he is always travelling for work and when I met him back after his 2 weeks of travel (1 week ago) , I was excited to see him but I was facing with a lot of family problems (family member has cancer) that time. He was telling me how much stress he was facing during the last biz trip and I listened and comforted him. Before we parted, I said I needed a break from this relationship as is moving too fast, instead of telling him my family issues. He looked disappointed and said OK and left. He did not initiate any contact with me for the past 1 week except when he just text me arrived safely at the airport that time. The next day I text him saying I am stressed out and feel bad abt what I said to him, he didn’t reply. I text him 2 days later asking is everything OK, he said all good and he’s tired. Then 4 days later I text him that I wanted to rekindle the relationship again, no reply. I’m thinking is he pulling away as I demanded space? But I already said I want to start again. He is coming back in 5 days time. I don’t know what should I do then? Shall I wait for him to contact me or if he doesn’t, means he wants to end with me?
Long story.. before meeting my ex he said he wasn’t looking for anything serious. Once we met we clicked and after a few months we were both Grtting attached. We wound up pregnant and he totally stepped up! Wanted to be together fully and it reflected in his actions. We lost the baby but still stayed together. He even suggested trying again. Two months later he was working a lot and we were drifting. He stopped trying. We always got along wonderfully when we were together.grest chemistry, best friends. We just clicked. We slowly broke up without it even being clear to me why. He had no valid explanation other than he wasn’t ready to settle down . We were broken up a month and he would still send me random texts frequently. Last week he called me wanting to hang out but I had plans. He decided to go out in the same area I was and blew up my phone asking me where I was so he could meet up with me. I finally gave in. He sat me down and cried to me about how much he loved me, missed me.. he had a nightmare I was on a date and woke up in a complete panic. He told me how bad he wanted the baby with me and how much it screwed him up. After an emotional catch up , I went home with him. The next morning he said he wanted to get back together, that he didn’t realize what he had until he lost it.. that he has always loved me.,( he only told me this twice the entire time we dated) he probably told me 15 times though this time. He cuddled, talked and made love most the day. He asked me to come back that night ( he had to go to work) and that he wanted to make me dinner. I can’t back later.. he told me he ended things with this girl he was hanging out with, for me. He deleted his dating apps in front of me. All of this was completely his decision. We spent the night together again. Everthing was wonderful and natural. The following night he stated he didn’t wabt to rush back into it so fast…which led to him not being ready.. freaking out and completely changing his mind. Obviously im blindsided and completely heartbroken. What in the world happened?!
I was with my bf for 4 months. A long distance relationship. He told me Xmas weekend that he had fallen in love with me. We have a huge communication barrier though. So recently it was getting to me and I went home upset.he knew that I was upset he said he’s sorry he is not capable of making me happy and he still is in love with me and is bummed but he doesn’t think we may be a match. I believe he is genuinely upset. Maybe the distance was taking its toll. I didn’t want it to end but now it has and I spoke to him on phone and wanted him to change his mind. I still have some things at his house. It now has been 2 days since I spoke with him. I intend to not contact him..in hopes that he will miss me. I mean, if you are in love as he claimed 3 weeks ago I would think not talking to me for more then 3 days will get to him. I also told him I would come get my things tomorrow but I have now chosen to skip that and make him wonder what I’m doing. I will go get my things in a week or 2. I’m sad cuz I love him too. Any suggestions/opinions would be appreciated!!
Being apart from someone you care about can be tough, especially if you two share a deep bond and you do many activities together. Not having your boyfriend around for a substantial period can seem like torture at times. However, instead of letting yourself be consumed by sadness, find a more positive mindset. It is important for you to accept that being apart from your boyfriend is healthy, you both need some time on your own. Wanting to have some time to yourself is not a bad thing and it is part of any healthy, long-term relationship.
Trust me, your friends, your co-workers, your lab partner, your neighbor, and your barista at Starbucks are all sick and tired of hearing about this guy. And deep down inside, you’re probably a little bit tired of talking about him, too. When you focus so much of your attention on one person, you can slowly drive yourself insane. You’ll be constantly thinking about him, replaying your last conversation over and over again in your mind, wondering what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with, and wondering if he’s thinking about you at that exact moment. It’s not healthy, and it definitely won’t get you any closer to being in a relationship.
Recently I was asked by a friend what relationship advice for women was actually essential. Honestly, dating and relationship advice is super easy to come by on the internet. I mean, I’ve personally written hundreds of articles about it, adding up to hundreds of thousands of words. And that’s just a drop in the ocean of other relationship advice out there.

So my ex girlfriend broke up with me and she was in a new relationship about a week after she wanted to meet for vacation. She posted on Facebook the new relationship they exchanged I love yous on there so they must of had some friendship before. I was last out to visit long distance relationship in May and then June. June started out I love you first few days then ended up giving ring back after we were both a distant from each other. She grabbed my leg rubbed back of neck on drive to airport so she Was struggling with it or testing me. She contacted me a few times after saying she missed me was a mistake to let me go or she did it so I didn’t have to leave my family. Then 3 days after she wanted to vacation together, she said forget it, was emotional pms and little hung over. Then 7 days later new post on new bf.

Hi.. My ex-boyfriend and I were in a LDR since end of 2014 and I cut off with him mid last year. The relationship was pretty turbulent but our feelings were passionate and intense. The reason for the ultimate disconnection was something he did. Since, I have not contacted him nor has he reached out to me – it’s almost going to be 10 months. I have been living my life – the past 6 months had me pretty preoccupied abroad even though he has been in my heart and mind. I still care about him deeply. I haven’t been productive these past few weeks as I was in the 6 months and that has me thinking even more about us. I miss him a lot. I have found myself doing what I can to know his current state via social media – his recent posts reflect sadness. What I would like to know is – is it possible for him to reach out to me after not having done so all these months, or is it unlikely? I feel like our story isn’t over and that he too still has me in his heart. I just find myself hoping that I will hear from him. He was blocked most of this time and I recently unblocked him. Answers and suggestions will be appreciated. I feel life is short, but I don’t wish to initiate any contact because rightfully he ought to reach out to me.


Knowing he can coexist with his girlfriend is the key to answering how to make him want to commit. The weekend will also show that spending time with you alone isn’t something he should be afraid of. At the end of the weekend he’ll be happy as he had great time, and when he comes back to the hustle and bustle of the city, he will definitely miss that weekend.
This whole post really does make me think. Perhaps we have been conditioned to think that giving our partner space is the appropriate way to act? And, in a lot of cases it does cause the relationship to become somewhat stable again. But, I honestly think that if someone asks for space, or “changes”by contacting you less, it is a sign that they are an emotionally unstable person, who will only break you by making you feel paranoid.
When you’re in a relationship and things are going well, you want to know whether it has a future. You’ve probably been dating a while, but you’ve found yourself in a sticky conundrum. You want to push things forward, but you’re unsure if your guy wants the same. Some men aren’t ready for that level of commitment, and some men will never be ready. I’ve known women who have dated men for eight, even ten years, waiting and waiting for him to propose. Much to their disappointment, they find out that he enjoyed the current setup they have and doesn’t want things to change.
Well, Eric Charles is the guy and he promotes the masculine behavior. For God sake, women, our message is clear what we want in a relationship. I am tired that we are always trying to please those guys and etc. The reality is that guys behave as they want and we need to adjust to their particular needs. All those articles say that we need to understand their mindset and how they function so that we could finally find a happy relationship. We basically have to play games. Men are really complicated. Women are very simple. If they want something they say. shhh!!! watch out!! If you say this, the poor guy will be frightened. He does not want to commit. Do not make love with him because he will get what he wants and again he will not want to commit. Jesus! Then, why they do not try to understand how women function and to adjust. Most men are absolutely idiots when it comes to the relationship. We women can give some classes to our sons so that at least new men generation would be more aware of the subject which is “women”.

This is by far the best article I’ve ever read in my entire life about relationships and how to understand a man. This article would definitely help my BFF understand this as she is the clingiest, neediest & most insecure person ever & fails relationship after relationship. The only thing she says is: “I’m a good person why I can’t get a good man for myself?”. She praises herself endlessly but, when She finally lands a guy, she’s suffocated them so much that they end up leaving her. And believe it or not, as a friend, that’s really hard to watch when u see your BFF being dumped especially when she asks why… That’s when this article comes in. This article should have her name on it.


Wow, I really liked some of your advice. I know most of that, but I really needed to hear it again. I'm not doing a great job at being unattached and being independent. lol. I put drinking glasses around the house over our bugs to let him kill them when he gets home. lol. I guess I should suck it up and pick them up and not be such a needy baby about that. Heck, I've done it before. Just not my favorite chore. Thanks for the encouragement!
Last thing he remembers was that he was talking to a good friend which happens to be you.  Suddenly there are feelings arising that moving beyond simple friendship.  These may be feelings that he was not anticipating exploring and not ready for.  In this case the answer to “why do men pull away after getting close” would be in-order to take an assessment of the entire relationship and decide what to do about these new found feelings.
If you can't think of anything to write, just send an emoji by itself. He will reply back in kind. Even short and wordless conversations like these will be a soothing balm for your aching heart. The great thing about modern technology is that you can keep in touch with him even if he is halfway across the world. While you do not want to obsessively text him, maintaining contact with him is a great way to stay connected even while he is away. A text is a great way to do this because he can respond to it at a convenient time, even if it's while you're asleep! There is nothing like waking up to a cute text from your boyfriend!

As far as sex is concerned, my concise comment on the matter has always been that a woman knows best when to sleep with a guy — it’s her choice and nobody has a place to judge or shame that. At the same time, she would do best to make sure that she’s doing it because she wants to and never, ever from a place of fear (fear that he won’t stick around if she doesn’t, fear of him losing interest if she doesn’t, fear that’s she’s not enough without having sex with him, etc.)
Eric, although I think you might be “spot on” on your theories, I can tell you for a fact that at age 67 I’ve had a lot more experience. Here really is the very bottom line in finding a good relationship, “it has to be cultivated and tended to”. After 40 yrs of marriage, loss due to death, we had to grow up together, we changed as we grew, we had to adjust, we became grown ups, our ideas, needs and desires changed. No matter how hard times are, no matter how much you share in common, or laugh or cry together, the one thing—“the only thing that keeps you together through thick and thin, till death do you part” Is a high regard for the other persons “person”, and a hell of magnetic physical attraction. Easy as that. It takes YEARS for the former to develop—and you can only hope that the latter remains. There is no magic wand. It is hard work that can pay you back with a lifetime of wonderful memories.
So, let’s start with why this has become such a common trend in our 21st century of dating. Now more than ever, men are finding it hard to commit to a woman. This is especially true when there are so many outside sources that hinder commitment and so many women who are not being authentic and true to who they are and what they want. It’s like this saying I heard a while back. “Once sex got easier to get, love got harder to find.” This may be true to an extent and we can discuss further why.
Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to have to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing. Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.
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