i have brocken the number 1 rule of no contact so many times and i have ruined things by keeping on pursuing him. Our relationship ended because he started cheating and i admit i am the cause of that..What do i do now after all the wrong things i have done to push him away..do i still have a chance? I also want to know how i should go about the no contacting phase..Do i totally block him out of the blue after we have been talking?
My ex and I had been seeing each for a year and half, we are both people who never thought we would end up together but eventually it all happened. He dumped me yesterday using the excuse that he is not 100% in. Before this for the past month he has been on and off with the way he feels, sayin he wants me then testing himself to try not and see me for a week but then rocks up at my house when his drunk and with no invite. The next night he invited me over I brought up a question that’s had been bothering me for ages and from there it all went south and he ended it but then said he doesn’t want me to leave sad, we woke the next morning and said he made a mistake and doesn’t want to break up, and then And then as I left he through a 180 and changed his mind but sat there’s crying as he ended it but said he still loved me but it’s for the best. I love the boy dearly and want him back more than anything the way he has ended it has confused me beyound no doubt with his constant change in thought. He says he loves me then dumps me the next day. My worry with your steps is that he is a stubborn and when he makes a decision that usually how it’ll stay but then again he over thinks everything to a point that he hurts his head. My other worry Is that he has deleted me from most social media saying he can’t handling seeing me, so the only time he would see me is maybe out in town. How is meant to miss me if I’m not there to remind him of what his missing. I love this boy and I’m sure you can understand that it feels like I’m having a heart attack over here everytime I breath.

As an overview, I was in relationship for 2 years and I broke up few weeks ago. The reason of the break up was because of our jealousy. I was jealous of a particular girl and he was also keep being jealous of some friends of mine that I’m not even close with. Neither of us was cheating, but apparently he was sick of always getting into argument when it comes to our jealousy. The last thing I knew before I’m losing contact with him is that he is approaching the girl I was being jealous with. This sounds quite silly, since we actually survived bigger quarrel but this got us broken up. I really need an advise of what to do. Thank you
This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.
well, i agreed (how could i not, he’s cute ;) ). i wasn’t sure if he’d show up. but he did. he did cook n it was awesome. during the party he asked me not to leave the city. when i told him i had no reason to stay back. he said there may be now. so we saw each other everyday after that. went out . he really took care of me, shared about his family. we really like each other. he even said lotta times he really liked me and that he was sad i was leaving. asked me to stay, coupla times. but i really needed to leave. he even came to see me off. things changed totally after i left. he did not call. when i did, he spoke normally and said he had been caught up. later after a week or two, he did nt show any interest to call. so i stopped calling too. once i called him n asked what was goin on. to my surprise he said we enjoyed together. but he cant do long distance. I’m flabbergasted how can anyone just shut off things just like that. was he pretending all the while?
I meet a guy couple months ago,he live in new york ,i live in Georgia.when we first meet we talk on the phone and text every day.now its like every other week if any,also his not calling me when his home.he’ll call me on his way to work or home.what should I do on his birthday I asked him for his address so I can mail him a card,and he said no cause,he doesn’t like woman to send him gifts on his birthday?
Hi, I agree, I’m in a simular situation.we started out friends with benfits and he’s my boss. He’s 47 im 50 I didn’t present myself as high value for him to want to go to the next leve my question is it to late? We didn’t sleep together for 8 months. He started chasing me than stopped the week of easter my cell went silent no calls or texts . I became clingy desperate and needy please help I don’t want to loose him.
But I guess I still like my ex, and I MISS him, while honestly I am more peaceful than when I WAS being with him, I do wanna be with him and marry him , he is a handsome, sweet, smart and successfully man. we already talked about marriage stuffs, we agreed we were both looking for life partner before we dated. And am also worried that he is actually annoyed by me saying breaking up so much and doesn’t wanna with him, and or he just wants the advantages of having a girlfriends, while we haven’t slept with each other…

My boyfriend and I had an on and off relationship for three years. He says he s over me and he told me to get it in my head that we are never getting back together because we don’t work out. But I love him and think we could make it work. Is there a chance we could get back together? Even before when we broke up he always called or texted , this is the first time he has acted so cold towards me.


I’m thinking of pulling away for that reason. The words of affirmation just aren’t there at all. And what’s more upsetting is he told me a story about how he expressed his feelings to his ex girlfriend almost instantly, really quickly into them meeting each other. They ended up breaking up because she was not as into him. So now I feel like I have to disappear just to see if he actually likes me.
What women are really looking for during the first several dates is if she feels an emotional connection with you. Having meaningful conversations show that you’re truly interested in who she is as a person rather than just wanting to get her into bed. Show her right off the bat that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know her by sharing something about yourself. You will signal to her that you’re willing to be open with her, which allows her the opportunity to let her guard down and reciprocate. Find out if you have any shared interests and values and don’t forget to be a gentlemen on your date by treating her with respect.
Me (34y) and my boyfriend (37y) went on a break after a 2y relationship , the first year was almost long distance ( 4-5h drive). We have been through arguments for the last months and I was expecting him a marriage proposal since I had mentioned my goal of dating and he has told he has been looking for the same thing. within these 2 years I have visited his relatives and hanging out with our friends and my family ( his parents are not in the same country). in our last conversation about a month ago and before the break, he said our intimacy and closeness has become less than it used to be and this makes him worried about the future life. after we agreed to go on a break over a text, we did not argue about the time and any rules. after a week I asked him to talk over the phone and suggesting that we can work on our relationship and ask help from couple therapists. He agreed somehow but also told he needs to think more. after 2 weeks and not hearing from him, I texted him and suggesting an end date. he told he would call me within a week but he did not. He texted me back and apologized and asked that he needed more days. I am confused and do not know what to do. I am surprised that he does not miss me? if we were in an argument or not a happy condition, he would have never stopped texting me before. it has been now a month of break and I just had texted him a couple of times within the first 2 weeks. I understand that he needs the space and need to work on his decisions. his birthday would be in a couple of days and I do not know what to do and I can not predict our future and if it is really a break our a breakup!
This article is mostly targeted to woman. So I ask a question on man side. I have lot of difficulties to start a new relation, because this give me anxiety. My ex that I was with for 7months decided to stop the relation. I totally understand her and I’m working on myself (therapy) to try to understand why I get these anxieties. Since we broke 4 weeks ago, we regularly see at beginning because we kept some feeling. She from time to time text me that she missed me. But since couple of day she is much colder in her message and when we cross each other. Would it make sense to start “Radio Silent” now ?
Some times I want to take this manly-man, guys-guy & shake him & say what the hell is wrong with you?!! (Many people want to do that for me right now.) but instead, I rush to tell him I love him & smother him with kind words & gushy love stuff. And he pulls away even further. Now, I am reminded of how in the beginning I gave this man his space & his time whenever I sensed he needed it, I had no control over it or him anyway, why fight it & push him farther away? I remember a day when he grabbed, pulled me close, kissed me, & thanked me for understanding & giving him his time. I would give anything for that moment to happen again, because it was real, & genuine. He was really happy at that moment & wanted me to know it.
Once you’re in a relationship, this part is especially crucial. Part of the learning curve of a new relationship is figuring out how much alone time each person needs. In most cases, there’s always going to be one person who needs more alone time than the other. Don’t take it personally if he’s the one that needs more introverted unwind time than you do.
Actions do speak louder than words and when it comes to communication with your man, up to 85% comes from your body language. It’s normally the physical draw that gets the conversation going. When it comes to the chemistry, it’s the pheromones that certain people are drawn to. Researchers believe this is what makes people want more after the first signs of physical attraction.
Now, I’m bit bummed because I can’t seem to find any advice about the opposite situation: what if the guy is showing you more commitment than you can handle? Not in a creepy first-date-“let’s marry and have babies”, but in a solid 3-months-“I care about you and want to see where this is going, and I’d like to move in together and five it a try”. I want that too, just… not for another year or so (it’s actually a LD relationship, I put the details in a recent forum post called “Anxious about playing house”). Any advice? :)
Last thing he remembers was that he was talking to a good friend which happens to be you.  Suddenly there are feelings arising that moving beyond simple friendship.  These may be feelings that he was not anticipating exploring and not ready for.  In this case the answer to “why do men pull away after getting close” would be in-order to take an assessment of the entire relationship and decide what to do about these new found feelings.

Maybe he’s super attentive and into you one minute and the next he can’t be bothered. This can feel jarring. Consistency is comforting, but people aren’t always consistent, and routines can change with circumstances. Those circumstances could be work-related or he could be having family issues, and these aren’t necessarily things he’ll want to talk about.

my story: met a lousy guy on tinder who promised to pick the stars from the sky for me, we had a few dates and i have to advise all the women out there to be careful especially with guys who get affectionate,caring, and future-planning too soon because it’s a cheap hoax to get the woman into having sex and then dumping her cold-turkey.if they realise the woman won’t have sex with them(like me)they run off and find other ‘candidates’ to lie to.my guy ‘friend-zoned’me to keep me hanging on because he thought that maybe he could one day drag me into the sheets but i ended the whole thing on that creepy liar.additionally i caught him with a few other girls so please ladies:pay attention
It’s tough for someone to nail down to source of feeling not OK, but they unconsciously latch onto things that will get rid of this feeling, usually through reassurance or trying to make situations come about that they feel will make them happy and finally grant them relief. This inevitably impacts your vibe, you become a parasite of sorts and everyone you come into contact with is simply a means to an end.
Getting him to commit to your relationship will be much more difficult if you keep nagging him about the same old things, over and over again. This is one of the major things you want to avoid if you are asking yourself the question how to get him to commit to you. There is nothing more annoying for a man than a whiny, spoiled woman who doesn’t stop nagging him about every single thing. If you are doing it all the time, stop it. The only thing you will achieve ios driving him up the wall or away from you. Making him run away from you will make your job twice as hard. Instead, embrace the new tactic. Let him loose a bit, and that doesn’t have to mean he can cheat or do what he wants. No. Just find another way to word out what you are bothered with, and sometimes being silent is golden as he will be wondering what is on your mind. If you still don’t know how to get him to commit, we got one more trick up our sleeve.

I'm not saying that men are right in pulling away, they also need to acknowledge the part they play in bringing out the worst side of a woman's fears. But just for your sake, for the sake of your mental and emotional health, just let go… anyway this is not the time to be having "talks" about the relationship because he'll most likely be unable (or unwilling) to have such deep convos during such a time.
Answer: If he’s feeling low about himself, then the last thing you want to do is make him feel even worse by being upset all the time. The only thing you can do is to hang on, try to boost his confidence, and encourage him to follow this dreams. Being supportive will help him to feel accomplished and will let him know that you are happy with him and have all that you could need. [Read: 12 common male insecurities that women don’t realize]

3. Don’t give him all the “girlfriend privileges” before he’s calling you his girlfriend. This includes sleepovers (whether you have sex or not) and having sex. The reason you have to be careful not to give a guy you’re dating “girlfriend privileges” before you’re in a committed relationship is because he’s going to think to himself, “Why should I be in a committed relationship if I can get all the things I want while still being single?!” There’s nothing worse than a man who gets girlfriend privileges without having to take boyfriend responsibility. Chew on that one for a while and make a conscious choice about how you want to proceed. If you need to reference the old school phrase “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” well then, reference away. When it comes to committing to women, men report that it absolutely has to be the right woman at the right time. But if you can help him realize why he would want to commit to you by associating the utmost pleasure and positive feelings with a relationship, you’ll be headed in the right direction.
So my ex girlfriend broke up with me and she was in a new relationship about a week after she wanted to meet for vacation. She posted on Facebook the new relationship they exchanged I love yous on there so they must of had some friendship before. I was last out to visit long distance relationship in May and then June. June started out I love you first few days then ended up giving ring back after we were both a distant from each other. She grabbed my leg rubbed back of neck on drive to airport so she Was struggling with it or testing me. She contacted me a few times after saying she missed me was a mistake to let me go or she did it so I didn’t have to leave my family. Then 3 days after she wanted to vacation together, she said forget it, was emotional pms and little hung over. Then 7 days later new post on new bf.
Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.
I broke up the day before valantine day he wasn’t affectionate and he pushed me away he was with his ex four years she cheated on him twice he met me six month into his break up we talked about me not beinga rebound got into a relationship then he was seeing his step daughters who wanted him to get back with his ex we were having problems because he was pulling away and he said he was still raw over his ex s of I said let’s have some space I was really raw I have gave him chances for him to go back I’d she who he wants inmin love with him and tempted to msg him as I haven’t heard from him it’s nearly a month we were together 6 months
You were the kind who used to put the entire world on hold to attend his call. Not anymore. Pick up his calls, but not every time. Give him an excuse that you were busy, and that you didn't notice he called. Don't be too rude or blatant, but tell him you have been occupied. Let him ring you. Talk to him sometimes, but in brief. For once, he'll wonder what the heck is up with you all of a sudden, but once he realizes that you aren't that available now, he'll be left with no other choice but to miss you, and wait till you get back.

Hi, I met this guy by chance in December and we fell deeply for each other all was going well, we were talking every day and seeing each other at least once a month. Then out of the blue he says it hurts too much when I leave and we should no longer see each other and be friends and see what happens when I move near him. I am out of the country at the moment but move back in 3 months time. I am devastated and as I’m now only away for a short period don’t understand it. He keep liking my Facebook as I’ve started to do th pimp up Facebook every one says to do, at first I did the emotional texts but even though it’s hard I don’t do that now. I keep getting texts from him saying sorry and also please do hate me…. I did respond to that saying I would never hate him as due to the distance I didn’t want him to think that. I just need some advice here as I feel we were the right people at the wrong time and will the no contact rule work in this situation. Thanks for your help

This particular relationship advice is for women exclusively. Big mistake women make is thinking that their man can read their thoughts and should “just know” when they are angry, hungry, tired or upset about something that happened at work.  Even the most intuitive man cannot know what’s inside your head.  Use your communication skills to express your feelings.  It will make everything easier and you won’t end up harboring resentment because your man had no idea you wanted him to pick up pasta for dinner instead of pizza.  


Answer: Sometimes all he needs is a little coaxing to figure out what’s going on. That involves being patient and giving him space and time to figure things out for himself and to discover what it is that he’s feeling. If you keep questioning him, things are going to get more jumbled, which will only lead to more confusion and will keep you two at odds. [Read: 9 ways to get your man to start communicating with you] 
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