I love your articles. Appreciate to help and advice my situation. I’m in relation with my boyfriends for 3 months. He’s start to talk about the future and marriage since our 3rd date. He was send me fill text everyday it’s made my heart fell full and in love with him so much and we start to have sex after 4th date. But since last months I few something changed after I asked him about the series relation between us, he’s send me a less of text, didn’t keep the date schedule. When I talked about get marriage he said we just know each other a few months. Now I’m move to other country and so worry about the long distance relation with him. He’s promised me will waiting to me and will come to visit me on Jan. But right now I got only one message from him a day someday it’s no text from him. I love him so much. How should I get him back.
My bf and I dated for about 4 months when we first met I actually didn’t want to be with him and he wouldn’t leave me alone eventually he got me and I became dependent on him for my happiness I was also depressed so I kept throwing myself on him to make him want me more so naturally he lost feelings for me and 2 days ago finally told me how he likes me but only enough to be friends and worse he felt we weren’t going anywhere and felt he will never fall in love with me and of course I was sobbing on the phone asking all these questions he said we can be friends he’s a guy who’s like a brick wall trying to get him to feel a certain way for you on purpose is impossible even tho he is like this and feel this way is it possible to get him back??

Let’s face it: some guys are simply just not interested in long term relationships, and would much rather have flings. They love to enter into relationships, have fun with a woman for a few weeks, and then move onto the next thing. It’s nothing to take personal- he’s probably just young or immature and isn’t ready to have anything “real”. If this is the case, you’re better off without him anyways and you should be glad he pulled away rather than cheating.
Had a break up of after about 6 years. Nothing horrible just was because of stress and no communication. He was amazing though. He broke up with me and the whole time it seemed I was the one trying to fix things. Suggest options to help us. Basically it didn’t work I was even more sad trying and him not . We kept trying a few things here and there but it didn’t work. It’s just he never suggested anything so idk maybe he really didn’t know. But we eventually ended it all 100%. I’d been trying to have fun not worry or stress and be a better me than I was. Fix things and be happy worry about me. I have met some new friends too buts it’s just friends. If I had a picture of a guys friend on social media with me is that bad? I was not trying to do anything wrong or cause any upset I was just having fun is all, it was just a goofy picture that has an inside story of how I’m ditzy. Hahaa that is all. I’m just making friends and having fun. But is that something I shouldn’t have done? If it was vice versa I’d be upset and wonder but I’d try to not assume something I don’t know unless there are more pictures of that person or it looked like they were together.
Commitment problems can come from a wide range of places. Perhaps they had a relationship that was horrible and their ex cheated on them. This would obviously make them hesitant to commit to someone else. They may also have parent issues that explain their commitment issues. First, you need to figure out why they are that way so you can tailor your behavior to make them want to commit. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but has commitment issues]
There’s a huge difference between being interested in the person you’re with and being obsessive/clingy. If you’re sending him 100 text messages a day asking where he’s at or why he’s not answering you, trying to see him every minute of every day, or going overboard to show him how much you care about when the relationship is fairly new, you might be pushing him away from you. Men don’t want a clingy lady. They want a woman who is secure and independent but still shows that she cares in a subtle and sensual way.
#1 Be fun and easy going. Guys are much less complicated than women, that much is for certain. They like things to be easy going and relaxed. Which means they don’t really want to commit to someone who’s going to add stress to their life. So be easy going and keep things light and fun. He’ll be much more willing to commit. [Read: 10 ways to prove that you’re girlfriend material]
So I m a gay guy who is in love with of course another guy. we were doing so good and things happened and then he broke up with me. no, he never did ask for space. he told me that he had fallen for someone else and he was happy. ofcouse I chased him around begging to take me back and reminded him of how much I love him. oh and he lived in a different country, we met on social media. I flew over to see him. since then I have flown multiple times to see him because he asked me to go see him. he says he doesn’t want to loose me but does not seem to want to talk to me. when I call him. he does not pick up. sometime he talks to me. but most of the time. I believe he just ignores me. I don’t know what to do….. the sad part is I am madly in love with him… do I just not contact him at all? why does ppl that actually love gets hurt all the time. I don’t think I have ever been treated special by any of my partner except for him. he was so sweet to me. I guess the distance got the best of us. but is it really over? I don’t understand it. and I am sorry, if I am offending other readers. I have no where to go or talk to but to ask for help here. thank you for reading.
So many women come to me and say “Apollonia, he was so into me in the beginning.” This could be a sign of a man getting the thrill from the chase and simply getting bored easily. This type of man I call “the snake”. This man will call you daily, text you hourly, and talk about how beautiful you are and how happy he is to have met you. He might even go that extra mile and mention that he’s looking for a relationship. But the difference with this relationship is that he is all in, right away, and it seems to good to be true. What I mean by “all in” is that it’s hot and heavy early on, and sometimes you feel like you can’t even catch a breath. You might get excited and think oh my, he is so amazing, but let’s examine his actions. In the end, it fizzles out as quickly as it began. As we are talking about why men pull away and what to do, let’s analyze these common things:

Getting him to commit to your relationship will be much more difficult if you keep nagging him about the same old things, over and over again. This is one of the major things you want to avoid if you are asking yourself the question how to get him to commit to you. There is nothing more annoying for a man than a whiny, spoiled woman who doesn’t stop nagging him about every single thing. If you are doing it all the time, stop it. The only thing you will achieve ios driving him up the wall or away from you. Making him run away from you will make your job twice as hard. Instead, embrace the new tactic. Let him loose a bit, and that doesn’t have to mean he can cheat or do what he wants. No. Just find another way to word out what you are bothered with, and sometimes being silent is golden as he will be wondering what is on your mind. If you still don’t know how to get him to commit, we got one more trick up our sleeve.
If you must, flip through a couple of pictures quickly. Don't keep gazing at them, or else you could be lost in the heartbreaking sadness of not having your guy by your side. Take this same approach with the rest of your life, it is not healthy to constantly think about your man, you have to go out and live your life. If you find yourself daydreaming too much about your boyfriend, find something else to occupy your mind.

If your guy is taking his time with asking you to be his girlfriend, a simple way you can speed things along is to already play the part of the woman in his life. Now, you don’t want to go overboard with this trick, because if done incorrectly, you can definitely scare the guy off. Instead of coming on strong and being in his face 24/7, subtly integrate yourself into his life so that he can’t imagine his life without you.
There's a fine line between playing a little hard to get and acting totally indifferent. When you're out to dinner, make sure not to constantly check your phone or dart your eyes around the room. It's dating 101, but show you're interested in what they have to say and ask about their life. "People appreciate and want to be with someone who makes them feel amazing," Trespicio says. "If you rock their world and they love being with you, why would they ever want to be with anyone else?"
For this next step, you’ll definitely need to tread lightly. When done incorrectly, this trick can backfire and kill any chance of you reuniting with your ex (if that’s your end goal, of course.) If you want your ex to really miss you, one of the easiest way to get him to take notice of you is to show up with a new date on your arm. Your new guy doesn’t even have to be hot, and as a matter of fact, you don’t even have to like him. He’s there to serve a purpose and one purpose only: to make your ex insanely jealous. Don’t stick your tongue down the poor guy’s throat or grope him right in front of your ex though. Keep things platonic, and let your ex’s mind wander. It’s true, we always want what we can’t have, and if your ex thinks you’re spending your nights wrapped up in the arms of someone new, he will do whatever it takes to bring you back into his life!
i miss my boyfriend , we are in highschool and usually we txt throughout the day , its just rlly nice . rn it is winter break and not only that he broke his phone , sooo rn i have to deal with missing him . there are times that i miss him incredibly much but in a way i also am "thankful" that we cant talk bc that teaches me to be more independent ( which i am use to losing when i am in a relationship ) . its a bitter sweet kinda thing .
So I met this guy about 3 weeks ago online and if was very much like the scenario you showed in your video. At least for the first week. I was then out of town for a week preparing to move my stuff to another state. He flew out to hel0 me drive the truck. However, since returning, it feels like he’s pulling away. I’m giving him the space, but I fear he won’t come back. Any suggestion?
This is a helpful article. I was the dumpee and it’s been 3 months now and I gone through a relapse phase but now decided that I’m going off social media completely. A week ago my ex logged into my social media accounts, does this have any meaning? I’m not wanting to rekindle this relationship I just want to know he’s suffering as much as me by doing that?

As an overview, I was in relationship for 2 years and I broke up few weeks ago. The reason of the break up was because of our jealousy. I was jealous of a particular girl and he was also keep being jealous of some friends of mine that I’m not even close with. Neither of us was cheating, but apparently he was sick of always getting into argument when it comes to our jealousy. The last thing I knew before I’m losing contact with him is that he is approaching the girl I was being jealous with. This sounds quite silly, since we actually survived bigger quarrel but this got us broken up. I really need an advise of what to do. Thank you
Keeping him guessing could be as simple as suggesting a new restaurant that the two of you have never tried, completely switching up your style by trying a new hairdo, wearing a sexy outfit to catch his attention, or just falling off the face of the Earth one day and never providing him with an explanation about your whereabouts. Sure, these tactics may seem a little bit rude, but you want the guy, right? So you have to keep him guessing!
My ex and I had been seeing each for a year and half, we are both people who never thought we would end up together but eventually it all happened. He dumped me yesterday using the excuse that he is not 100% in. Before this for the past month he has been on and off with the way he feels, sayin he wants me then testing himself to try not and see me for a week but then rocks up at my house when his drunk and with no invite. The next night he invited me over I brought up a question that’s had been bothering me for ages and from there it all went south and he ended it but then said he doesn’t want me to leave sad, we woke the next morning and said he made a mistake and doesn’t want to break up, and then And then as I left he through a 180 and changed his mind but sat there’s crying as he ended it but said he still loved me but it’s for the best. I love the boy dearly and want him back more than anything the way he has ended it has confused me beyound no doubt with his constant change in thought. He says he loves me then dumps me the next day. My worry with your steps is that he is a stubborn and when he makes a decision that usually how it’ll stay but then again he over thinks everything to a point that he hurts his head. My other worry Is that he has deleted me from most social media saying he can’t handling seeing me, so the only time he would see me is maybe out in town. How is meant to miss me if I’m not there to remind him of what his missing. I love this boy and I’m sure you can understand that it feels like I’m having a heart attack over here everytime I breath.

Too often women try to change men into something that they really are not. Before you embark on your commitment campaign ask yourself if he is the committment type. This will make your job much easier and save you a lot of embarassment and trouble down the line. If the guy wants to settle down with you, he will and sometimes the only thing that changes his mind is you telling him that he needs to. If he is not the type that wants to settle down do not put yourself on a high pedestal like so many women and get yourself believing that he played aaround with adozen women before you but you are the special one that he needs. Again twisting his arm is not necessary if you nand he are on the same page. If he really wants to settle down, he will withoung the convincing. Just dont allow him to settle when he seems out of options.
Like I said he texts me everyday. I’ve wanted to talk in person but that has yet to happen. He has 2 jobs and his dad has been in and out of the hospital so out meet keeps getting pushed off. I have reached out to him, offered my help in any way. I don’t know what I should do. Last week he told me he needs patience, time and understanding. So I have totally backed away and I don’t initiate the texting I let him and he continues to text me, starting with good morning, and a random hey. But there are also days we text ALL day long. I also have not pushed nor suggested meeting. Do you think there is hope to get back together? What should I do?
I met in 2007 in the United States, I’m in Canada we met at a concert and for me, as soon as I saw him I knew I loved him. We hit it off and within a few weeks I was going to the states to visit him, we started dating and I was so happy, but because of the distance and him not being able to cross the boarder to come up and see me( he tried once) due to felonies in the states, I wasn’t able to go every weekend. He started to go down a bad path and got into drugs, I was always there for him even tho I didn’t know the extent of what he was doing. I told him I loved him, and he freaked out, we drifted apart and I was hurt.

Knowing he can coexist with his girlfriend is the key to answering how to make him want to commit. The weekend will also show that spending time with you alone isn’t something he should be afraid of. At the end of the weekend he’ll be happy as he had great time, and when he comes back to the hustle and bustle of the city, he will definitely miss that weekend.
Do you have a source or study for this statistic? Anecdoctal evidence or observations shouldn't be cited as evidence by a psychology publication. I'm a nursing student and I've visited a nursing home. I found the proportion of male to female residents roughly equal. Perhaps, there are more women, because women live on average six to eight years longer than men. In addition, older men have a higher suicide rate. These factors could explain the higher numbers of women in some nursing homes. I find this statement sexist, and offensive to MEN. I believe that men have emotions and are capable of love and attachment, just like women. I also believe that most men have integrity, and strength of character. This is the exact sort of thing that encourages stereotype, hostiity between the genders, and anti-male discrimination. The professor you quoted is obviously unscientific and a misogynist. You should be ashamed of yourself for quoting him. I will be writing a complaint to psychology today, and starting a petition about this. Thanks.
I’m also in a relationship that i believe i committed myself too soon and i let him know of this. His response was that he wasn’t sure if he would even be available because his job might transfer him. I think he just used this reason as a way out. But, yet I’ve tried to put such boudary by letting him know that since we don’t want the same things we could just be friends. And although, I was hoping he wouldn’t take me up on it he did. So we stopped seeing eachother for a couple of weeks, but it’s been awful and I’m dying to see him again. So, when he playfully suggested to meet him again I totally went for it. But I’m afraid, this will put us right back to where we started. Do you think there is any way to put this relationship back in the right track? or there’s no way to save it now? I would appreciate any help you can give me.. Thanks
It sounds like he only wants this to be a friends with benefits relationship. While it seems like he has developed some feelings over the years, he does not want it to be anything more. He has had plenty of time to officially date you if he wanted to, and he hasn’t. As long as you are okay with a friends with benefits relationship, continue seeing him. If you want something more out of a relationship, then you should probably end things with him and move on.

If you feel confident at this point that you want things to be serious, go ahead and tell them, Trespicio says. "Explain what kind of relationship you want and why, defining what commitment means for you without giving an ultimatum." If they aren't open to a discussion, let them mull it over for a couple weeks. But if they still don't respond when you bring it up again, it may be time to rethink the relationship. "You have to decide which you want more: someone who's committed or this person, even if he won't ever be," Trespicio says.

Without even realizing it, he’ll see how great being in a committed relationship is. It’s even better if you talk about it but you need to be careful. Instead of saying things like, “anything for my boyfriend.” Say something along the lines of, “I’ll do anything for someone I care so much about.” It’s less scary and proves to him that you really do care. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples go through]


If you really want your guy to finally commit to being in a relationship, you have to make commitment look like something that will be fun, light and carefree. No guy will agree to being in a relationship with a woman who is always sad, depressed and starting petty arguments with him. So every time the two of you hang out, make sure you’re doing something fun! A friendly bowling match, a round of miniature golf or checking out the latest movie are all fun date ideas that will keep your guy happy and with a smile on his face. Once he associates you with all things fun and easygoing, committing will no longer be something he dreads.

If you can’t get along with his friends, the chances of him making you his girlfriend are slim. To most guys, getting approval from their buddies is very important, and they want to make sure the people who are closest to them approve of their new romance. If his friends think you’re annoying and rude, it may make your guy back off and run from you for good.

Advice from a male perspective anyone? I am dating a man who is 11 years older, I’m 26 and he is 37. He works out in the ocean and a lot of times we have minimal conversation via text/call. But when we are together everything is great and we get along very well. When he doesn’t have to wake in the wee ours or work out of town, he is with me every single weekend. We have been together six months and I have met all his close friends and friends kids. I have done well so far in respecting his space and he respects mine also. When he’s a weekend away with his guy friends, I am understanding and just ask him to contact me once when he is back in town so he feels he is not missing out on what he loves. However, this past weekend he had a sailboat race on the weekend which he let me know in advance and we made had plans for friday night. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. I was emotionally unstable that weekend due to some work stress and family leaving so I needed him the most that friday. I did not think of my actions and instead of politely rescheduling for Monday, I blew him up – sent him various texts showing how I did not appreciate he canceled although it wasn’t his fault. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. On Sunday I was so desperate that I passed by his house. His roommate was there and told me he hand’t come home yet. Since I blew him up friday, I have had no response to any of my texts nor has he answered any of my calls. I am very afraid that I scared him away and threatened his freedom. I also came out as desperate for going to his place. Today is Wednesday and I hadn’t reached out till Sunday. I sent him a very short/casual text today apologizing for taking out my stress on him and for not letting him have his space, to which I got no response. I am going to wait a few days and hopefully he will come around, as our relationship has matured and he’s told me how much he cares for me. Did I blow this up completely since it has been 4 days with no response?


I have a question, more than a comment. I’ve been dating this guy off and on for 4yrs it’s been really hard for him to find a job. He had asked me for some money to fix his car. I asked him to give me the name of exact part that was needed he asked why. I responded and said so I can look for it on line. He said no. Next day I said well whats the game plan, when will you get your car fixed? I suggested I’ll pick you up you can stay at my house, drop me off at work and you can get the part you need. He said no. Finally the next day he said his grandma will let him borrow the money but she expected it back the next day. Well I had agreed to give him the money to pay back, but after thinking about it I decided not to go along with it. Before letting him know I wasn’t willing to give him the money I had asked will you be staying tonight when you come get the money? He said no, but I will this weekend. That’s what drew the line, and I told him he’s either lying or had something else going on that he didn’t want me to know. After all this I was the bad person and he called me every name in the book. I did apologize for what I had done but that he was being very wishy washy and I didn’t understand was he was up too. I did let him know our relationship was over and it was beyond repair. My question is, how do you see this, was I wrong? Was he just using me?

I’ve been “hanging out” with this guy off and on for two years. Before meeting him I read books on this exact subject. I’ve been married and divorced twice so I wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing if I got involved with a man again. I’m very opened about my feels I always have been. I like that about myself but in the past I’ve also been pushy wanting things to happen right away. Now with this guy I’m “hanging out” with has pulled away a lot in the 2 yrs I’ve been seeing him, but he had always come back. I think it’s because I always gave him his space. Since being married and divorced twice taking things slow was fine with me. Just recently though, I couldn’t help myself and I told him that I loved him. I thought for sure he was going to pull away, but he didn’t not right away anyways. In fact, we talked about making it exclusive. I was so happy because it’s what I had been waiting patiently for two years for. Recently, we had a two year anniversary of when we met so being the person I am I gave him a card. I said a paragraph of very heartfelt things. I knew this would definitely make him pull away from me and I was right. Even though I know when it’s going to happen it still doesn’t make it easy to deal with. I love him and I want him to know this. I want him to know that I accept him for who he is. I feel the only way I’m going to get him to trust me is by letting him have his time away from me. When he comes back he’s different, for instance, he more loving sweeter. I believe him when he says he’s happy with me. He too has been in difficult relationships in the past that broke his heart. Love isn’t meant to go fast. Love takes time. I’m glad it’s going this way even though it’s hard because I came from abusive background and it’s why my marriages ended. This guy inspires me to grow and find myself. I’ve started back to school at 43 yrs old because of his encouragement. I don’t feel I have to be someone I’m not when I’m with him. I feel safe when I’m with him. I want him to feel the same when he’s with me. I feel that’s what true love is all about. I may love him but he’s not my whole world, he’s only part of it.
#7 Withdraw if they seem too hesitant. Not much will make a guy commit faster than the fear of losing you if they don’t. However, you can’t give them an ultimatum. Just simply stop talking as much if he starts showing you he’s not ready to commit. This might scare him into realizing how much you really mean to him. [Read: 15 ways to get a man to chase you and fall hard]
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