Is there another possible explanation for what seems like hot and cold behavior? Yes! If it’s not something new going on in his life that’s changed his routine, it could be about your relationship. It’s possible his feelings are dwindling, but it’s also possible he’s just settling into a more natural routine now that he feels the relationship is more settled.

Hi, my ex boyfriend and i work together, he is younger than me and we were friend for 2 years, I have been supporting him during his bad marriage. I have been liking him for a while and I confessed to him and told him that I can’t be his friend any more as I need to deal with my felling to him as this is wrong feelings because he is married. Latter he got separated from his wife and contacted me 2 weeks after the separation and we became together very quickly and very intense, he initiate every thing and we were very happy he told me how much he loves me and that he wanted to have a future with me. I gave him all the attention and care he needed to help with his separation. Then after that he start to change he started to disrespect me and became secretive than he dumped me because he is not ready for a relationship but he wanted us to remain friends. Our relationship lasted 2 and half months I was upset and tearful but I didn’t react he tried to say hurtful things to me to have a reaction still I didn’t react and I didn’t get hurtful to him with any words or actions and told him that I understand what he is going through and I am willing to go back to be friends, he was grateful for this and astonished that I didn’t react crazy of hurtful to him. Afterwards he contact me via text in almost weekly basis for the following 3 weeks after the breakup checking on me and try to open conversation, also appreciating me at the office to check that i am ok. I kept it short and simple as i need my time to heel as well as i felt he is playing games to keep me hooked in case he can’t find some one alse so he would have me as a short tearm back up. I stoped all contact a week ago and started to ignore him in the office as well and tried not to run into him but in a cool way so I only smile and say hi if we are in the same place briefly. He didn’t text me at all this week, I do want him back because i do love him but not sure that i have a chance or that he even really care. I am very cool, calm and smily in the office as allways which he can see which made him a bit uneasy and he tried to get my attention. I continued taking care of myself and having fun which he can see as well. Can you please advise if you can? Many thanks, Angie.
Erika, thank you for that. After a 13 year horrible marriage and another 2 year relationship, I felt broken. I am seeing a guy who has been through something similar. He has told me he has a hard time expressing feelings. Now, he is pulling a way a little. I feel depressed, as if I am not good enough. But your response, helps me to realize: Slow is good and he and I both need time. When we are together, things are fantastic. I will give it time and see what happens.

This whole post really does make me think. Perhaps we have been conditioned to think that giving our partner space is the appropriate way to act? And, in a lot of cases it does cause the relationship to become somewhat stable again. But, I honestly think that if someone asks for space, or “changes”by contacting you less, it is a sign that they are an emotionally unstable person, who will only break you by making you feel paranoid.
I love your articles. Appreciate to help and advice my situation. I’m in relation with my boyfriends for 3 months. He’s start to talk about the future and marriage since our 3rd date. He was send me fill text everyday it’s made my heart fell full and in love with him so much and we start to have sex after 4th date. But since last months I few something changed after I asked him about the series relation between us, he’s send me a less of text, didn’t keep the date schedule. When I talked about get marriage he said we just know each other a few months. Now I’m move to other country and so worry about the long distance relation with him. He’s promised me will waiting to me and will come to visit me on Jan. But right now I got only one message from him a day someday it’s no text from him. I love him so much. How should I get him back.
Kevin, a lawyer from Florida, once told me, “Everything was going great with this girl Tiffany whom I asked out to dinner. But then she started talking about her exes. I nearly choked on my steak when she told me about…the things she used to do with them. I don’t know what her deal was, and the only reason I didn’t sneak out the bathroom window was because they didn’t have one!”
You have given the best advice that I have ever read from any article or book out there and trust I have read MANY. I see where I have been going wrong with my relationships and I see that I am putting too much of what I want them to be for me in it. I see where my negative thoughts have failed me and how I can go about changing me to be a better me for a relationship. Your views are so on point and I completely understand exactly where you are coming from. I will continue to read and reread your advice until I get myself where I need to be physically and emotionally. I definitely dont live in the moment with the man I have been with and I have gotten the I dont want a relationship thing from him but I definitely see where I went wrong because this man was interested in me from the beginning and he is still here. So I see where I went wrong. I see where I need to change just from reading your articles. I am seeing clearly. Now just to adjust my behavior and actions. I believe I will see a change in him. You cant expect people to change if you dont change yourself first… Thanks for all the great advice :)
In my previous article about the ugly truths of online dating, I shared a story about how my current partner would get rebuffed time and again, simply for stating that she was a feminist. She would have built rapport with multiple men. They would ask her what she studied and what she’s interested or into. The second she mentioned she was a feminist (in passing, mind you)—guys stopped responding and sending her messages.
You may want to have a unique scent for your date nights and one for your holidays, or you may want to have a unique scent for when you get busy in the bedroom. That scent can be lightly sprayed on something when you are gone, and if he catches a whiff of it, you will be the first thing to enter his mind. The more he associates that scent with good times, the more he will miss you.
The problem with making yourself too "available" when he's playing hot and pretending not to notice when he's playing cold is, you've made it clear you're going to be sticking around no matter what. Unfortunately, this means he feels confident continuing this behavior because he knows there won't be any consequences. You will be there when he wants, and he can ignore you when he doesn't.
My boyfriend broke up with me because he thinks I love to start drama.When reality I just only told him what happened but he went to confront the girl. He blames me for her back lashing abt the situation when he didn’t have to contact her in the first place. He also wanted to be done because I usually vent to my friends and try to get guidance. My friend became angry because he mentions her everytime we argue. So she confronted him but he blames me for wt she did when all I did was tell what happened. Everybody says I’m not in the wrong and that he is I know this. We are not talking, he took me off Snapchat but still has me on Twitter, instagram, and Facebook, what could that mean? Just him wanting to see what I’m doing or not losing all of his feelings for me? He has cheated on me more than once by talking to multiple girls and received oral from 2 girls while we were together, but I forgave him and was willing to work on it with him. But he dumps me for something little? He acts like he can’t stand me now and is not talking to me or doesn’t want to see me either. Plz help!
Im seeing this guy on and off for almost two years now. Its just a casual hookup and we dont even talk and see each other much but were friends. I guess that occur to us as normal FWB relationship. Lately, his been pretty persistent to get my attention. Missed calls, txt messages just saying he missed me and whatsoevers. Just recently asked him a “what if question” what will he feel with me having a boyfriend and what he’ll do? He then answered He will be hurt…(long pause) he still txt me anyway and hope ill still txt him back.
Think about it: you became so used to having your partner around, especially if you lived together or just spent a lot of time together. Now that he’s gone, everything feels out of sync. You can’t sleep without him next to you. Your body temperature might even be going wonky. All of this is normal, but you need to really take care of your health right now.
OMG…I think we’re in the same exact place. And after reading this article, I think I know exactly what to do. I’ve been so consumed with getting hurt again, that I’ve totally missed the fact that the guy I was previously dating kept wanting to hold on to me, even though he keeps saying he doesn’t want a relatinship. THAT’S A CLEAR TED FLAG FOR ME. I recently broke it off with him because he refused to commit, but the next time, I’ll get it right….THIS ARTICLE IS SO PROFOUND!
I have known this guy, we will call him Steven for the sake of this article. So Steven and I have known each other for 4 years, we met in a small town in Alberta, and hit it off, he was 19 and I was 21. He said he had never met another girl that was so like him and he really liked me, but at the same time he partied and did things he shouldn’t have been doing so I never got into anything serious with him. Things ended up happening (He moved out of the staff house, I met someone else who was more down to earth and settled – no serious relationship became of this), we grew apart from each other (about 75% my fault and I regret this and I think this may be why he is so standoffish today) and then he got this possessive girlfriend and completely cut me out. I moved away and then a year later we started talking again. We then talked on and off for a couple years. He had finally gotten away from his crazy girlfriend and then got in to another relationship where he was cheated on, and then into another relationship where he was cheated on again, and on Christmas day too. So here we are, 4 years later and we still talk on and off and I am realizing that he is the first guy I have ever loved. I literally can’t stop dreaming about him and thinking about him and it’s driving me nuts. I know most would say to move on because he obviously doesn’t like me enough to try but he is also going through a really stressful time in his life right now and he lives across the country. I really just wish I could go up to him and tell him that I want to be together but he lives too far away. What should I text him without scaring him off. We were texting the other night but he stopped texting and then I haven’t heard from him since. Forgive me guys, my last legit date was June of 2014 (and before that was November 2012) so my experience in dealing with men is so bad haha I am also sorry if all of this is all jumbled and makes no sense.
How to Give Someone Space Without Losing Them (Or Losing Your Mind) Here’s Why When He Pulls Away You Should Give Him Space The Real Reasons Men Don’t Text Back: The Ultimate “Do’s and Don’ts” Guide To Texting Here’s Exactly What To Do When He Says He Needs Space How to Make Him Miss You: 5 Ways to Have a Man Missing You Like Crazy He Says He Misses Me: What Does It Mean When He Says He Misses You?
Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a short book with a large amount of insight about making relationships thrive called “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” and it boils down to the importance of learning your partner’s love languages. “My conclusion after many years of marriage counseling,” Dr. Chapman says, “is that there are five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.” Those include words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. He’s 53 and divorced, I’m 57 and a widow. We were introduced by a mutual friend. On our first date the time just flew by, we got on so well. We were together for 3 months and had an amazing time together, great dates, went away for the weekend together. There were no arguments, we seemed to be a perfect match, liked doing the same things and happy together. He talked about the future, we were planning to book a holiday, he even talked about the possibility of moving in together in a couple of years. I met his children, parents, friends and he told me they thought I was a lovely. We spent a lot of time together, all weekend and 1 or 2 nights during the week and it was him doing the asking, I didn’t pressure him. I fell in love with him, he told me he loved me, I was his gorgeous girl, his soulmate, as near perfect as anyone could be. Then suddenly a week ago, he said he wanted to end it. I was completely shocked and stunned. When I asked him why he said it didn’t feel right, I was 99%, that I had brought calm and order to his life (previous girlfriend was, in his words, “a nightmare “) and he hoped he didn’t regret it. He said he’d be in touch to see how I was, that if I ever needed his help he’d be there for me. It’s only a week, he hasn’t been in touch yet. I honestly thought he was “the one” . Our mutual friend has seen him and said he was sad but not heartbroken and got no more out of him than I did. What went wrong, it seemed to be going so well? Do you think he’ll change his mind?
Then, switch things up by missing a phone call or two back-to-back. Your guy will be wondering where you are and what happened to your daily contact. He will start to realize that getting those daily text messages and phone calls are a part of his day that he doesn’t want to live without, and he’ll be dying to be in a committed relationship with you!

I felt like the guy I was seeing was pulling away from me because we worked different shifts, but in the beginning we would find time to chill or I would find a way to see him, even though some times I wasn’t lucky because he has kids too or needed sleep from his hectic schedule. I recently texted him that I was stepping back to give him some space, but I haven’t heard from him. We went out on one date and even Netflix and chilled on several occasions, but when I brought that we haven’t done much he claimed he had to get adjusted to his new schedule and sleep pattern, but sometimes slip up and tell me he had gone out, went to hang out at a party, etc… I feel like I should hit him up and explain why I texted him that but part of me feels like I should leave it alone and see if he comes back naturally…..how do I get over this feeling
And it was a big catastroph. X was so angry he left me, he insulted and shouted. He came back to do the things he didnt do when he was with me. I cried a lot and begged him not to leave. I did all that i can do. One day he called me to talk together. When he saw me, he hugged me he was calm and lovely he sad we can fix everything together. I was sooo happyy but the next day he woke up angry again and said he cant forgive me and he is not forgetting what i did i begged him again and again but it didnt work
i met my boyfriend about 2 years ago from youth group at my church and we go to a place called lakeside where we worship God and we were there last year worshipping and i had a bad feeling that something was gonna happen between us so i went to go sit down and he joined me and i couldn't talk to him without crying so i typed it out and he did as well on my phone and it just went downhill from there and thats where we broke up and i was so sad the rest of the week. i could not stop crying the last 2 days we were there and i am still sometimes crying myself to sleep because i miss him so much and ive been trying to not text him so i can focus on myself and its kinda worked out for a couple days but then i end up texting him saying like i miss you so much and cuddling with you and kissing and making out and hes not been thinking of that stuff since we've broken up cause hes been trying to focus on himself which i totally understand but like part of me just wishes he would say he's ready to be with me again so i can see my old happy self again

Adam, amazing video, I am impressed! Please keep up the good work! I am a single woman and I have responded to a handsome man’s flirts after like 2 months of him making it more obvious…I have put the breaks on from the beginning and to my surprise he kept insisting and making it more obvious! Here is the catch: I have rewarded him by teasing him a bit and introducing myself and being bold a little bit, bc I wanted him to get a reward and to know what he’s been doing is what I like…however, once I got to feel a bit “more comfortable” and start making small conversations here and there ( every 2 weeks or so, when we run into each other), he now started to pull away slightly, and I didn’t do ANYTHING about it, literally, just being myself, feminine, relaxed, NOT bothered by his pulling away…NOW, this guy didn’t even ask me out, but his face lightened up, he couldn’t stop smiling, it was in his eyes, face, everywhere, of course I noticed how much he liked me…I am a bit confused now, bc he worked hard ( 2 months) to get my attention and get a reward ( me teasing him, introducing myself, giving him a sign that I like him too) to only create a bit of distance once I feel more comfortable! Given that we never went out ( he didn’t ask for a ph number or anything) what should I do? We run into each other when I get off gym and he is at work! Last night I had seen him squeezing his head after me when I passed by (at his work place) and he seemed to careless about him being at work and have his employees seeing him doing that squeezing head after a woman but care far more FOR ME NOT TO SEE HIM squeezing his head to check me out! What happens? he made it plain obvious BEFORE for 2mo, now he seems to create distance but checks me out secretly ( or so he thinks :)). Should I say something given taht he didn’t even make a move on me, or should I allow his teh space he seems to want? I want to give this man a real chance, I liked his persistence :).
Thank u so much your email and articles I have been reading are great.! That are helping me realize that the relationship I’m in is not healthy. I meet this guy from a really good friend of mine.! He is a retired marine he is very different from the guys I’ve dated. Which is very different me, my parents like him a lot. But we argue alott. He says I have no discipline in my life he blames me for all the arguments we have, and its always my fault. I feel happy at moments but it seems I have to be very careful of what I say and do or how I act when I’m with him. He has left the house like 6 times.He says he really loves me but I don’t think he does. Or maybe I’m just trying to hard for this relationship to work which is not going to go anywere! Any advice will be greatly appreciated thank u very much.:)
well after 8 yrsxon and off many living with him he came back from a trip and changed i suspect he had a new friend.. i hung in there even no sex and he keptclooking at my body weird like… never seen this .. i had mostly to initiate affection but hed return it hold me at night then long weekend he drastically changed for the worse.. no more us just ai I I i had to chase him for help he already said hed do heckeot stsying in other rooms when he said good morning downstairs i had a bad face he screamed at me i have an attitude lroblem then it escalated down more still held at nite something off clutching his phone then i saw a skype overseas girl offline x time ago om his contact which take it back to exactly when he shifter … anyway weekend got worse my mistake LEAVe him alone cause i know hed not answer if i asked u met someone it felt like i was child and he didnt want to be there .. he snapped at me couple xs and i try push him away when he came to bed try hold me crazy!!! i should of just wuietly left made any excuse would been fine if he stsrting with someone else id see it unfold instead got worse i try say i going b4 roads get bad weird!! he said no u can go then he said WAIt he go get beer then he came back Entirely changed haply dislosition said ok u can stay… did he make a call got it out of the way so now i wasnt in the way timing for europe for bedtime there was right… i saidsaid i told job he asked where? which location??? i got suspeciuos why he NEVer asks my job and hes been like im dead and gone all weekend why ask maybe he didnt want me to poo in with my key if he wants to call her again timing right so i asked why honey ? he EXOlodED !!!! said cant i answer simole wuestion??? stormed out of house… said now u probably thing i go bar look younger girls! i never mentioned that… later i i went to bar calm took him back and he disappeared into gsrabe smoke i passed out i awoke 4 am hit him yelling Im leaving i m lesving i cant take it! he woke furious Good go dont ever come back and take ur stuff leave key I upset he got up i chased aroudn 3 stories house he didnt want to tak ran away was most disgusting humiliating thing my g’friend said he was oushjng u away mayne not have her yet conflicted never tell u make u fell its u now he has excuse u said U R Leavkng! exactly what he repeated u want to go ok i finally gave up last words “ u act like u seeing someone “ response “ sure i got 2 or 3” then i walked out into the nite got sick He sent text 2 days let me know when u get ur stuff Hell arrange it! DOORs are locked” i went home i sent 5 days i havnt been able clem he said text ok then iasked him drop me things He made it look like i broke it off it was cry for answers!!!! i ve never heard from him since i sent its raining to start conversation about my patio rain No answer week now HE is perfect about texting no matter in world he is always answers me… he is very sicseessful had power money younger travels skis and this women live where his office is in erope and younger femenist HaHa thatsweird! I thonk he flew away with her maybe had it planned???

My boyfriend moved out 2 days ago and told me he was gioinh to break up with me, er takker a lot and devisen not to break up but he needed space. So noe he is at his mother’s house. I did the wrong thing by getting panicky, calling him and texting him.. he told me that i had to stop in order for him to relax and Get HIS space. I found this so hard and i’ve been crying non-stop for 2 and a half day. I got drunk the other night and cried in the phone to him. I don’t know how to get thru this and i feel like dying.. today i tried to give him a bit more space. He sounds so cold in the txt like we don’t know eachother. And my heart is literally breaking and my eyes are so swollen that it hurts. Anyone else expirenced something like this but still got together? He won’t even sau how long he needs space. And it frels more like he’s trying to forget the relationship.
Yes! Master this, and life becomes easier because you are living life, instead of ‘auditioning’ as Natasha sometimes refers to. When you realise who you are and what you’re worth, you become authentic through self acceptance. Only then will you be truly ‘seen’ by others. And only then will you tell the users and abusers to move on, because you won’t value the shi* they have to offer. Because you will know your own worth.

Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men – so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important. The first problem you’re probably going through: if you’re already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…


Plan outings with friends, even if you don’t feel like it. Go for a walk around your neighborhood. Science backs the fact that exercise gives your brain a boost of dopamine, and after a breakup, you need all the happy hormones you can get. It’ll be hard the first time, but once you realize how much better you feel, I guarantee you can make it a habit to help you through.
What women think men want from them often causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them often causes them much of the same feelings and frustration. The sad part is that it does not have to be this way, if only we would realize that both men and women are human beings first and pretty much want the same thing. But, you don’t have to take my word for this. I asked a number of men and women who are actively involved in personal growth and development what they want from a partner in order to build a great relationship. You will find their answers unexpected.
So, get this. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 3 months now, so not long. We have taken things pretty casually, I don’t know his past & haven’t asked. When it comes to ‘feelings’ I can tell he is not safe talking about it. We are completely compatible, and honestly I feel as if he’s my person. When we first started talking, we discussed about meeting the parents in general, and he expressed how he doesn’t bring just anyone home to his family & he wants to be sure they will be around for a while before doing so. So, I let him make the call as to when that would happen, if it would. A few weeks ago, he told me to reserve a specific date open for going home to meet his family. Which was just a week ago. Of course, it was the perfect weekend. Introduced me to his whole family, classmates, and family friends, and stayed an extra day than planned. 3 days later, I sent him a nice text- did not say the L word, but was pretty strong feeling. He replied with not feeling the same as me, and didn’t want to waste my time. I have tried calling him one time to get an explanation and he has not responded. Haven’t bugged him since the phone call. It’s so frustrating where 48 hrs prior to the text I was with him at his parents and seen absolutely no red flags. What should I do? What does this mean? I have never had a guy ‘pull away’ before.
"Not all guys are outright about their interest, but there are certain signs you can definitely look for. If you've developed an inside joke, that's for sure a good thing. How polite is he being? Is he buying drinks? Offering his seat? Walking you home/to the train? Is he staying out way later than he should? Generally trying to make sure you're enjoying yourself? Is it super easy to convince him to get one more round when he has to wake up for work at seven? He might be miserable the next day...but he probably won't mind." Brady O.
So me and my boyfriend live together for about a year now. We were dating for almost 3 years. He broke up with me few days ago. I’m still at his house. We haven’t talked at all but when he gets home and lays down with me in bed. He hugs me so hard and doesn’t let go until he falls asleep. That’s all we been doing after we broke up. What does it mean? Reason we broke up is because he claims he isn’t happy and that he doesn’t know who he is anymore
Hi, I just need some advice, couple of month ago me and my boyfriend had a big argument and he ended up texting someone else for sex and that, nothing happened but intentions was there and from then on things just got bad. After that we tried to sort things as he said he did but my trust of him had gone and I felt he was saying the right stuff but wasn’t proving anything. It has got to the point now I couldn’t take anymore of how I was feeling and called it a day for good about a week ago, since then I haven’t heard anything from him but I do miss him and all I wanted was him to show me he cared and wanted me back.. just wondered what I should do? I do love him but after everything he’s done it doesn’t make sense to me anyway
This article was exactly what I needed to read. It was straight to the point but very in depth with how simple it is to keep your man into you. Right now I could use the help with my current relationship. Eric Charles, if there was any way to get your insight on my current situation I would greatly appreciate that. Thank you for the great insight above.
Almost every woman has found herself in a situation where her man is acting distant and unfortunately, she does not have a clue why he is acting that way. The million-dollar question – Why men pull away? has been asked by many women. It does not have be an unhappy relationship that causes men to pull away from their partner. It could happen in a happy relationship too.

Once you’ve rocked his world, don’t say, “OK, I rocked you, now pay me back with your lifelong commitment.” That won’t work. Show him that he must earn that privilege. And keep earning it. I’m not talking about berating, withholding or any other mind-f*ck thing we all despise. (Not sure what I mean? Find out why “you go girl” thinking is the worst advice.)
I and my fiance separated after two years because of the many problems between us .. But the last problem was big and did not talk to me and I did not speak to him three months ago, and his father convinces him to return but he refuses to .. I knew that from the people around .. Is there a chance to return? How can I?, I am 16 and he is 26 years old

What do you mean exactly by taking a step back? Seeing each other every few weeks already seems like a fairly large step back. How often do you guys talk during the day? Sometimes, talking on the phone or computer is what actually takes up the most time. Before you can figure out how to keep the relationship going, you need to figure out what you mean by taking a step back. Do you mean just talking on the weekends? Or only talking for a maximum of 30 minutes a day? I think that if you do not bother him too much (Which, let’s be honest, happens to just about everyone after a break up) with texts and calls, I think that he will start to miss you. If he is as perfect for you as he says, then he will end up thinking about you just as much or more after the break up. If I were you, I would just tone down the messages and calls. Wait for him to come around, and if he does not, you know that the relationship is over.


How to make a man commit to you is a universal question that women across the globe have asked from the time of Adam and Eve. How to get a man to marry you after age 40 is the mystery that drives the female mind crazy. It doesn’t matter if you are 20 something looking for your perfect mate or 40 plus, getting into a committed relationship can be challenging.
I am from America, but I am currently studying in Europe. During a holiday I went with some friends for a trip in another country here. There I met a guy in a bar. We kissed and he walked me back to my hotel, we said good buy and he got my contact. The next day he text me and invited me for drinks because it was his last night in the city (he was also there in a trip). We went to a bar and had a nice conversation. After that I said that it would be better to be just friends (because we meet during a trip and we both live in different countries in Europe). First he kept saying that I was very special, different from the other girls, and that he didn’t want to just say good bye. But I insisted that it was better like this (given that we had just met). He was clearly very upset and he even unfriended me on Facebook. I was sad about it the next day, so I decided to text him and let him know that I liked him and we could see each other in the future if he felt the same. He said he was upset before because I acted like he didn’t mean when he said I was special and he felt like I thought he was just interested in sleeping with me. He said he already done that in the past, but that this time this wasn’t the case. Then he said he missed me and booked a flight to visit me one month after. We were talking everyday through messages and some days in Skype (he would take the initiative). He came to my city for 3 days and we had a great time. During his last day in my town he seemed a bit distant or sad, but he gave the impression that he would like to visit me again. When I said I could visit him in his town he seemed really happy. But, the problem is that I will return to America in two months. So, my idea was to see him at least one more time before that, but I didn’t have hopes for a relationship. When he returned to his city we were still talking everyday with messages and sometimes Skype (again his initiative), but he wouldn’t let me know if we could see each other again. After two weeks I directly asked him if he would like to see me again or not. He said the needed time to think, because even though we could have a nice weekend together it would make things to be quite worse afterwords. And also he said, he had a bad experience in the past with a distant relationship, and that he promised himself to never do it again before he met me. First, I thought it was strange that he was mentioning a relationship after seeing each other only two times. Second, if he already knew from the past that he didn’t want a distant relationship, why would he buy a flight to visit me in the first place? I though that maybe we was just looking for a casual thing after all. On the other hand, if he is just looking for a casual thing, why wouldn’t he want to meet me just one more time before I go back to America? I still have some time before I leave to America, and it has been 1 month since we discussed this situation about seeing each other again. So, I don’t know if I should send him another message and tell him that we can still meet in case he change his mind. My intention was just to see him one more time and enjoy a nice time together, because I really liked this guy and this is unusual for me. So, even though we couldn’t have a relationship I would like to see him one more time. The problem is that I already made it clear before that I also didn’t want a distant relationship, and still he said that if we met things would be worst afterwords. Should I text him again and leave it open in case he changes his mind? Or do I risk damaging the nice terms in each we are now?

My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. He’s 53 and divorced, I’m 57 and a widow. We were introduced by a mutual friend. On our first date the time just flew by, we got on so well. We were together for 3 months and had an amazing time together, great dates, went away for the weekend together. There were no arguments, we seemed to be a perfect match, liked doing the same things and happy together. He talked about the future, we were planning to book a holiday, he even talked about the possibility of moving in together in a couple of years. I met his children, parents, friends and he told me they thought I was a lovely. We spent a lot of time together, all weekend and 1 or 2 nights during the week and it was him doing the asking, I didn’t pressure him. I fell in love with him, he told me he loved me, I was his gorgeous girl, his soulmate, as near perfect as anyone could be. Then suddenly a week ago, he said he wanted to end it. I was completely shocked and stunned. When I asked him why he said it didn’t feel right, I was 99%, that I had brought calm and order to his life (previous girlfriend was, in his words, “a nightmare “) and he hoped he didn’t regret it. He said he’d be in touch to see how I was, that if I ever needed his help he’d be there for me. It’s only a week, he hasn’t been in touch yet. I honestly thought he was “the one” . Our mutual friend has seen him and said he was sad but not heartbroken and got no more out of him than I did. What went wrong, it seemed to be going so well? Do you think he’ll change his mind?
1. Take care of yourself first. When you meet a guy you feel like you want to spend every waking moment with, it’s an amazing feeling: an amazing feeling that you must counter with putting yourself first! Continue to do the things that make you happy, and make sure you keep dating other guys before you’re in an exclusive relationship. While this can be really difficult, it’s also a great way to remind yourself what it is you’re looking for in a man and that the new amazing guy really isn’t the only fish in the sea. If you’re finding yourself reserving all your free time for one guy, calling him, or breaking plans with friends the second he calls, take a breath. Put yourself first! If you aren’t in a serious, committed relationship with a man, you’re free to do the things you like when you like, for however long you like. That isn’t to say that once you’re in a relationship you stop doing things you like! It’s just that before you get there, be sure not to get too wrapped up in making someone your universe if you aren’t his. Meet his energy. It’s that simple.
Promising to be practical rather than cheesy, this post looks at things you can do in your everyday lives to make your boyfriend want you more and more. Let's forget complicated relationship advice and reverse psychology tips that ask you to ignore him, here is a 21st century, no-nonsense and hard hitting list that is all about getting the job done – Getting his attention, making him want you and making him miss you ever step of the way.

It's like with dogs or children — you stick to your guns and you politely, patiently repeat the boundaries until they respect them. He gets it or he gets lost. Period. If you truly start to follow this theory, he'll feel how serious you are about being respected, and if he's at all serious about you, he'll get aboard the good boy train very fast. He'll know that if he doesn't, he'll be left at the station!
My boyfriend for 4 months started calling and texting less as of the second week of January. It is true that he had some successive things happening one after the other which also prevented us for meeting since the new years eve. But despite that I let him know that I wasn’t happy with his careless behaviour. By the third week of January the date of his thesis submission approached and it just got worse. As I got bady ill for 4 days and he didn’t even get briefed because he did not ask how I was although he kept the conversation, I exploded on him and told him aaaalll I felt and went through and how he was absent when I needed him. My message just stayed unread on purpose till the morning and he tried to start a new normal conversation as usual like nothing happened. I was pissed off so I answered short, late, and tough. He stopped talking and by the time I cooled down he was already shut off. I ended up keeping the conversation somehow as he stopped initiating. By the following weekend I was near his area and we were talking so I asked if he feels like going out having some air. He made an excuse and I just headed home. We talked less and less through the following week, by thursday night we had a light chat and I asked how he was, he said that he was very tired and unhappy. As I asked why, is it going bad at work, my message just stayed unread till the morning. It was Friday 9 Feb. And he was quite responsive through the day, so I asked to meet and as he kept making excuses related to work, I just pushed more. So he just stopped responding to my messages and calls. Yes I know I did aaaall kinds of the things to avoid in these situations but I could not help but to see and understand what was happening to him that he had to express his unhappiness. After this incident I just disappeared too until valentine’s day at around 10 pm. I sent a brief apology message for my harsh words and putting the blame on him (when I exploded on him) while he was already having a hard time by himself. I wished him good luck with his upcoming thesis presentation (16 Feb) and wished him that he would never tell anybody again that he is tired and unhappy as he said to me the week before. I got an answer for this message that I was a wonderful girl and very understanding and I have nothing to apologise for and thanks for the good wishes and that I deserve the best and he hopes I will find what I deserve.
1. Sex. One young man once complained to me, "Sometimes my girlfriend is in the kitchen and she looks so sexy in a cute domestic way. So I go over to her and try to be romantic and she says, 'Not now, I'm cooking.' That's almost as bad as 'Not tonight, dear.'" But women's and men's sexual desires do change somewhat over time. Men's sexual desires may tend to remain at their peak for longer periods of time, whereas many women may experience a diminished sexual drive at menopause.
The last time I saw my boyfriend was 3 weeks ago. I understand that to some, it may not seem like that long, but to me, it feels like forever. Every time I get upset I always tell myself to go to my happy place only to realize my happy place is half an hour away and I have no way of getting there. I've made him happy when he was pissed and he's made me happy when I was sad. People say we're not good for each other, but who cares about what other people think. As long as I have him, I'm happy. Also, taking the time to write this actually made me feel a lot better. I'm still upset but I know things will get better.
I need advice though. During one breakup he slept with someone else and came back saying how he realized he was in love with me etc. Although we were technically broken up we were still seeing and spending time with each other. Also being intimate. I’m really trying to move past this but his most recent pulling away has made me insecure and really psycho. We’re both older 39 and 41 professionals. His job is much more consuming and he has a lot in his life right now but says I add additional stress when really I just need reassurance (I know I have my own issues).
When you miss someone, it is hard not to reach out to that person. You want to be in daily communication, sometimes hourly. But if you want a man to really miss you, you must pull away. Do not call him or text him. If you continually reach out, he will never have anyone to miss. You must give this special person a reason to miss you. When you do stop contacting him, Mr. Right will wonder just why it is you’ve suddenly gone silent on him. Rule one is to cut off contact. This is a super hard task for us girls because we like to be in constant communication with the people we care about. Guys are so much better at not reaching out because they’re not that great at communicating but for us girls this isn’t the case. However, if you want to make him miss you you’ll have to master this art!
Answer: Stop being so aggressive. The more you push, the more he is going to pull away. Give him some space to figure stuff out without all the questions and accusations. If you push him too far, you are going to lose him. If you take some of the pressure off, he may just find his way back to you. [Read: 20 glaring signs you have a control freak in you]
But now, he is pulling away. Slowly but surely. I’m so lost. I’m trying to give him space but I’m scared he will go away forever. I don’t want that so I’m keeping my shut but I’m just so confused. I don’t know what to do. I love him dearly so much still (I have not expressed that as I’m conscious of the consequences of these things especially with an ex and what we went through).
Do you think that you need to get into bed with a man just to keep him in your life?  Typically speaking, nothing could be further from the truth.  Having sex is not the solution to winning your man.  In fact, it can actually cause the exact opposite if he thinks you are loose with your morals. Giving yourself fully to who you believe your man is can remove the challenge and find him rushing off to accomplish another quest. Go with your gut instincts.

@ Sam after reading your post I really don’t understand your question because you did say you refuse to be with someone who showed you he doesn’t care about your health if only we women really Focus on men ACTIONS not his words ACTIONS tells us the Truth… I think you really know he doesn’t really care about you and you should treat him the same with the I Don’t Care Attitude and move on.


I’m thinking of pulling away for that reason. The words of affirmation just aren’t there at all. And what’s more upsetting is he told me a story about how he expressed his feelings to his ex girlfriend almost instantly, really quickly into them meeting each other. They ended up breaking up because she was not as into him. So now I feel like I have to disappear just to see if he actually likes me.
Exactly Why Guys Start Acting Distant All Of A Sudden (And What To Do About It) Why Men Pull Away: 3 Easy Ways To Stop A Man From Withdrawing: Infographic The Real Reasons Men Pull Away When They Are Falling In Love How To Tell If He’s Testing You By Pulling Away From You The Real Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close Why Men Pull Away In The Early Stages: How To Get Your New Guy Back

    "'We' is a state of mind and heart. It means that wherever one partner is, the other is present in their thoughts. Partners who consider themselves a 'we' act that way. When you talk to partners who live with and in the heart of their beloved, you experience that commitment in every way they present themselves. They communicate a pride in belonging to their partner. It's a powerful feeling of 'us' over anyone or anything else.

I left my husband in January . I started seeing a guy who I knew in February ( he wasn’t the reason ) we have been casually seeing each other . He in the army and he being posted to Cyprus for 2yrs this August. We text every day but he became distant about seeing each other . He said he couldn’t understand why I would want to do a long distant relationship. His previous relationship broke up because of long distance. I’m trying not to be pushy . He text me to say he misses me . But I haven’t seen him for weeks . I do have feelings for him . I want to continue seeing him while he is in Cyprus. For me a long distant seems easy to me compared to my marriage. Which i told him . I try to talk about my divorce for some reason it feels awkward. I just don’t want to scare him off .
When your boyfriend misses you, it shows that he cares about you and is feeling disconnected from you physically and emotionally. If you are in a long distance relationship or if you are often away from your partner, it can be even harder to maintain a connection. There are several things that you can do to make sure your boyfriend misses you when you are apart, such as improving your communication, surprising him, and finding ways to increase his feelings of attraction for you.

After 4 years my boyfriend broke up with me via text. We were friends before dating and he is my best friend. I asked if we could talk and he agreed. He texted he loved me and said we would find a time to talk the following week. I haven’t heard from him since he was checking texts (I did text as I thought we were going to talk) but has blocked me now. He still has some personal items of mine that I can’t imagine he is keeping if he doesn’t want to contact me. I am heartbroken. This happened approximately 2 months ago and I am on 19 days of no contact which is killing me. I honestly think he might be seeing someone else but I don’t know that for sure. I miss my best friend above anything else. I have never been in a state of despair as I am over this.
They tell us they aren't capable of being in a long-term, exclusive relationship. They tell us they think women are controlling and selfish and don't know how to stop feeling that way. And yet we bypass these statements. The words go in one ear and out the other. Or we remember them but refuse to believe them. We tell ourselves, "He's just wounded!" or "He's lying to protect himself."

This article was exactly what I needed to read. It was straight to the point but very in depth with how simple it is to keep your man into you. Right now I could use the help with my current relationship. Eric Charles, if there was any way to get your insight on my current situation I would greatly appreciate that. Thank you for the great insight above.


All thanks goes to Dr kobi who help in bring back my husband who left me and my kids to suffer for a year for no reason all my effort to try and reach him to no avail is then a friend gave me the contact of Great Dr kobi so I mail him my problem and he assure me that in Three days my husband who left me and my kids will come begging just has he said three days later my husband came back asking me to forgive him that he can’t explain why he left us to suffer am happy he is back with more love for me and our kids. If u are suffering from depression or any kind of problem you can contact him on. Email drkobi666solution@gmail.
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