I miss my boyfriend too. We where so close, we met at church 3 years ago and honestly my life has been a bundle of happiness. Right now he went to a refugee camp because he's not from my country and back in his country there is war at the moment. I cry every night because I know how harsh they are treated there. He has been gone for a week now and it feels like a whole decade already. What is more hurtful is that he might take even longer because of the lengthy procedures. I really miss him
Great article . Men deal with emotions differently , they also truly want to be in charge and for this they need to withdraw in order to think . For women its an opportunity to cool down and figure what they truly need from their men . And when he comes back be busy , be sweet ,understanding . Men dont change their mind that easily , the live they have for their women dont fade . Keep calm
Plan some sort of trip or vacation so you’re not at home being sad. Ten years ago, I went through a pretty rough breakup of a 2-year relationship. Rather than staying home and feeling sorry for myself, the first thing I did was book a trip to visit my brother in Washington DC. It was great because, while sure, he and I talked a little about the breakup, I was distracted just enjoying my bro time.

So it was never an official relationship. But we had been dating regularly for about a month. Quite a lot of phone/ text contact. The vibe was easy, flirty, and really quite open and emotional too. He was so comfortable with me. He shared so much of himself and his thoughts and his feelings. We both agreed that we would just take it slow and easy and see how things develop. Then one night I stayed over, and we had sex, but it was really awkward. Just before he got really upset with me and told me that he thought I was a tease and making him feel desperate and needy. I was just being playful and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to sleep with him that night. Actually I didnt really. But he got mad and told me that he thought I was playing games and somehow I panicked and slept with him. But it was not good. Anyway, I felt depressed the next day, and told him about it. (MISTAKE) which i redeemed later and after a few days things were ok again. But he wouldn’t call me as frquently and he stopped being warm when he did contact me. He used to call me princess and sweetheart. All that stopped. So I got nervous. He would call me once a week to say he was super busy and didn’t have time to meet (this is true because of his job) but I thought he was making excuses not to see me. And I kept asking him. And then I asked him one night and it turned into an argument that went on till 2am and the next day he sent me a text to say that it was his last text to me for a while and that we shoudl just be friends and get a peaceful closure on things. So I called and agreed and said yes, but I also reminded him that it wasn’t like we were a couple anyway, and that we were just friends anyway. And I mentioned that I might be moving away really soon ( i had a job interview which required me to relocate, incidentally I didnt get it,but at the time I hadnt told anyone) so he said that he didn’t know and he asked me twice to let him know how it went. That was three weeks ago and I havent’ been in touch. I didnt call him on his birthday, and i havent told him about my interview. But I miss him everyday. Im working on becoming my best self. BUt I really want to be close to him. I miss him. Do I have a chance, or has he lost the attraction for me?
Commitment problems can come from a wide range of places. Perhaps they had a relationship that was horrible and their ex cheated on them. This would obviously make them hesitant to commit to someone else. They may also have parent issues that explain their commitment issues. First, you need to figure out why they are that way so you can tailor your behavior to make them want to commit. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but has commitment issues]
I know “no contact” can be hard, especially if you have the instinct to call or text your ex. I understand how hard it can be to control yourself when you are in an emotional state and you miss him a lot and just want to reach out. But trust me, following “no contact” is worth the benefits you will get in the long run (making it possible to get back together with him). It is absolutely essential to stop contacting him and never, ever plead with him to get back together.

Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman. But if you and your partner feel like you're starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day -- i.e. the same lousy situations keep repeating day after day -- it's time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.


Men like to take lead and solve problems. They like to keep their personal problems with themselves and try to find a solution. If your boyfriend is acting distant, he may be having a personal problem and trying to find a solution on his own. Once he solves the problem, he will come back to you. There is nothing to worry about because he is not running away from you. It would be wise to give him some space and let him figure out what to do next. It is strongly advised to avoid putting pressure on him for spending time with you. This can make things worse and push him away from you because if you keep putting pressure on him, he might feel like you are self-involved and don’t realize that he may be having some personal issues. When the time is right and everything gets back to normal, he might tell you the reason why he was acting distant.

"Throw us a bone. We all know that men often think they know more about something than they really may. It's in our chemical makeup. Sometimes you just have to let us set the tent up wrong when camping or take three hours to change your oilfor a lot of us, it's how we both try to impress you and show you we care. Sometimes you've got to let a guy be a guyeven if we're goofing up." Blake S.
@ Sam after reading your post I really don’t understand your question because you did say you refuse to be with someone who showed you he doesn’t care about your health if only we women really Focus on men ACTIONS not his words ACTIONS tells us the Truth… I think you really know he doesn’t really care about you and you should treat him the same with the I Don’t Care Attitude and move on.

“You know, I have thought that by this age I would have been in good job and a steady relationship. I have neither so I’m considering moving to X city. I got a job offer from there and I’ve been considering taking it or not for a while. I mean, one out of two isn’t bad. It’s not like either a job or a relationship is holding me back in this city.....”

3. Forgiveness. The majority of young and middle-age men I have interviewed say that forgiveness is "huge" to them, and that grudges are wedges in their relationships. When these issues arise, they're ready to have the "relationship talk." Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside has written of the importance of the forgiveness factor in relationships.
Treat yourself to a new make up look, dress up for him, or get a new haircut. It will leave you attractive and unforgettable in your boyfriend’s eyes and mind even after you leave. He’ll start thinking of you and wanting to be closer to you. This will work especially if you’re getting attention from other guys around you. So, invest in yourself and make yourself feel good to make your guy miss you.
Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”
My ex and I had been seeing each for a year and half, we are both people who never thought we would end up together but eventually it all happened. He dumped me yesterday using the excuse that he is not 100% in. Before this for the past month he has been on and off with the way he feels, sayin he wants me then testing himself to try not and see me for a week but then rocks up at my house when his drunk and with no invite. The next night he invited me over I brought up a question that’s had been bothering me for ages and from there it all went south and he ended it but then said he doesn’t want me to leave sad, we woke the next morning and said he made a mistake and doesn’t want to break up, and then And then as I left he through a 180 and changed his mind but sat there’s crying as he ended it but said he still loved me but it’s for the best. I love the boy dearly and want him back more than anything the way he has ended it has confused me beyound no doubt with his constant change in thought. He says he loves me then dumps me the next day. My worry with your steps is that he is a stubborn and when he makes a decision that usually how it’ll stay but then again he over thinks everything to a point that he hurts his head. My other worry Is that he has deleted me from most social media saying he can’t handling seeing me, so the only time he would see me is maybe out in town. How is meant to miss me if I’m not there to remind him of what his missing. I love this boy and I’m sure you can understand that it feels like I’m having a heart attack over here everytime I breath.
Great article . Men deal with emotions differently , they also truly want to be in charge and for this they need to withdraw in order to think . For women its an opportunity to cool down and figure what they truly need from their men . And when he comes back be busy , be sweet ,understanding . Men dont change their mind that easily , the live they have for their women dont fade . Keep calm
If you can’t get along with his friends, the chances of him making you his girlfriend are slim. To most guys, getting approval from their buddies is very important, and they want to make sure the people who are closest to them approve of their new romance. If his friends think you’re annoying and rude, it may make your guy back off and run from you for good.
You already have your revamped wardrobe, and that balayage hair treatment has your entire appearance on fleek. Now, all you need to do is whip your body into shape. After being in a relationship with your ex, it’s possible that you packed on a few love pounds, and now’s the time to shed them! Reactivate that gym membership, throw on your favorite pair of sneakers, and dust off your Lululemon pants. It’s time to sculpt your “revenge body” that will make your ex regret the day the two of you parted ways. By looking and feeling amazing from the inside out, your ex will know that you’ve moved on, and you’re life is headed in a positive direction. It will definitely crush his ego a bit, and he will start to reminisce about all the good days the two of you shared. Prepare to receive a phone call or a text message from him spilling his guts about how much he misses you!
I know that what this article writes it’s true. At the same time, do I really want a person with which I have to lie about my true feelings? I am very intense, passionate, and so talk a lot about what so feel and what ai think. I feel hurt of I am not in his priorities, if he never calls me or if he says he is not sure of what he wants. Of course it would be better for the lenght of the relationship stay quiet and wait. But would I feel really fullfilled and loved just tolerating?
There’s a huge difference between being interested in the person you’re with and being obsessive/clingy. If you’re sending him 100 text messages a day asking where he’s at or why he’s not answering you, trying to see him every minute of every day, or going overboard to show him how much you care about when the relationship is fairly new, you might be pushing him away from you. Men don’t want a clingy lady. They want a woman who is secure and independent but still shows that she cares in a subtle and sensual way.
Speaking of phones, take a look at your message history with your crush. Do all of the chats begin with you sending the first message? If so, hold off contacting him. It’s OK to give him the space to take initiative. If he doesn’t, don’t be too bummed. It could be that he loves talking to you but has grown accustomed to you being the one to start things off.
Right now I am dealing with this myself. My boyfriend has, admittedly, got a lot going on right now. He said he’s not going to be able to get together for several days. I was irritated and unfortunately I let myself get angry with him. But now I’ve cooled down and I am sticking to my guns and NOT contacting him. I did send him a good morning text because I always do that, and he responded, but that’s it. I plan to be unavailable tonight if he calls me. I made plans to get together with a friend tomorrow night. I am going to give him MORE space than he wants…

my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me and he said his tired of all the fighting and his reached his breaking point. yes his years we’ve been fighting a lot and it was also wearing me out but I always told myself that I would fight for the relationship and thought all the fighting were probably tests to see how strong our relationship is. I begged him and told him I’ll do anything to make him happy and try to minimize the fighting, he wasn’t interested. its been a month since we broke up and o last spoke to him two weeks back and he said I should move on then said he needs time with no communication, he even removed all our pictures from his social media. I love him and he genuinely loved me. he told me that he has never had a gal that loved him like I did and he doubt he’ll ever find her but his not sure if he still wants to be with me, his heart wants me but his mind doesn’t. please advise
If you’re going through this situation right now, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Getting a guy to commit seems like one of the hardest things in the world. We’ve all heard stories about men being commitment-phobes who are deathly afraid of having their independence ripped away for them, so you can’t really blame the guy for dragging his feet when it comes to locking you down, can you?

Maybe he saw something in the both of you at the start.  Maybe that something isn’t fully what he is looking for.  Remember, both of you are seeking the right match.  Allow him the space he needs to decide what level of importance you are to play in his life.  If he is pulling away perhaps you should too.  After all, once he sees you leaving his interest just might be reignited.
Build yourself up emotionally; accept how he has come to “view himself”; but, whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to succumb to his self serving subtle bigotry. Cry, if you must, but please don’t try to hold on to him. And, by the grace of God get out sooner than later while your children don’t really know the difference. He isn’t going to get better… . He knows what he is doing; so, you must learn what you must do for you and your children. Put a plan in place…contact a domestic violence shelter. Here is a good book to read. It’s entitled, “I Closed My Eyes.”
You have given the best advice that I have ever read from any article or book out there and trust I have read MANY. I see where I have been going wrong with my relationships and I see that I am putting too much of what I want them to be for me in it. I see where my negative thoughts have failed me and how I can go about changing me to be a better me for a relationship. Your views are so on point and I completely understand exactly where you are coming from. I will continue to read and reread your advice until I get myself where I need to be physically and emotionally. I definitely dont live in the moment with the man I have been with and I have gotten the I dont want a relationship thing from him but I definitely see where I went wrong because this man was interested in me from the beginning and he is still here. So I see where I went wrong. I see where I need to change just from reading your articles. I am seeing clearly. Now just to adjust my behavior and actions. I believe I will see a change in him. You cant expect people to change if you dont change yourself first… Thanks for all the great advice :)
Practice your enthusiasm, take it up a notch, start getting excited about things! And wear happy colors too. Or you can take a look at this amazing book that literally changed my sex life upside down. Mind is man's most erogenous zone and if you learn how to make your boyfriend want you more, without even touching him, you will blow his mind and make him yours forever. This book will teach you just that even if you're shy, conservative and reserved. Believe me, you will turn into a wild seductress and you will know every secret fantasy that has ever crossed your man's mind.
well, i agreed (how could i not, he’s cute ;) ). i wasn’t sure if he’d show up. but he did. he did cook n it was awesome. during the party he asked me not to leave the city. when i told him i had no reason to stay back. he said there may be now. so we saw each other everyday after that. went out . he really took care of me, shared about his family. we really like each other. he even said lotta times he really liked me and that he was sad i was leaving. asked me to stay, coupla times. but i really needed to leave. he even came to see me off. things changed totally after i left. he did not call. when i did, he spoke normally and said he had been caught up. later after a week or two, he did nt show any interest to call. so i stopped calling too. once i called him n asked what was goin on. to my surprise he said we enjoyed together. but he cant do long distance. I’m flabbergasted how can anyone just shut off things just like that. was he pretending all the while?
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