We're fully aware that both men and women can be problematic in a relationship, however, some may consider men to be more of a nuisance than women, if that's the case for you, and you're a woman seeking advice on your current dating situation, this relationship advice for women forum is a good place to start. Whether your man isn't pleasing you enough, he's causing problems or you think he's cheating, this is the best place to get some tips and guidance. If you're a male that's looking for advice, then we would suggest posting in our relationship advice for men board instead.
Do you think that you need to get into bed with a man just to keep him in your life? Typically speaking, nothing could be further from the truth. Having sex is not the solution to winning your man. In fact, it can actually cause the exact opposite if he thinks you are loose with your morals. Giving yourself fully to who you believe your man is can remove the challenge and find him rushing off to accomplish another quest. Go with your gut instincts.
i miss him so much that i dont want to cry so i always keep it in were both in high school but he lives in spain while i live in england i just came back from my holiday there for a month and it felt only a week time goes by so fast whenever im happy it hurts so much especially when others say "your both young so dont be stressed about that do your studies first" i get that kind of point but love is an incredible feeling if you are inlove theres no stopping it
But now, he is pulling away. Slowly but surely. I’m so lost. I’m trying to give him space but I’m scared he will go away forever. I don’t want that so I’m keeping my shut but I’m just so confused. I don’t know what to do. I love him dearly so much still (I have not expressed that as I’m conscious of the consequences of these things especially with an ex and what we went through).
Recently I was asked by a friend what relationship advice for women was actually essential. Honestly, dating and relationship advice is super easy to come by on the internet. I mean, I’ve personally written hundreds of articles about it, adding up to hundreds of thousands of words. And that’s just a drop in the ocean of other relationship advice out there.
In other words: he becomes the center of your world and ultimately, that makes him even more distant. When a man senses that you’re so invested in him and how he feels about you, he becomes turned off. He was attracted to you in the first place because you had a life outside of him. He loved the fact that you made yourself responsible for your own happiness.
Hello I can imagine your going through a hard time trying to understand this guy. He’s confusing you because he’s confused himself. He has distanced himself because this is what guys do when they are thinking if they want to be with you or not. This also shows how he doesn’t care much about you and more about himself. He says these things like I miss you and all that stuff to make sure your still around for him as an option but does his words match his actions? If he missed you he woukd see you. Does he see you? No ? Then he’s not telling the truth he’s using words to keep you about for his own ego and loneliness. There’s a way u can find out if he wants to be with you or not and that’s by ignoring him he sends u a msg like I miss you can I talk to u or just hello no mater what his msg says u say nothing. A woman’s silence shows and expresses your hurt more than your anger and words do. This also gives him time to properly miss you and it also stops you looking easy in his eyes men want a challenge they want to chase so give him what he wants and don’t feel bad about it either he hurt you did he care ? Sounds like he didn’t.
I was dating a married man off and on for 5 years. The last 2 years were very deep. He gave me a ring and made moves to divorce his wife. I pushed him away by causing a lot of fights because I didn’t trust he would divorce. He finally told her he wanted to separate but I was still afraid he wasn’t going to go through with it and I would be devastated. We had a big fight and it got ugly. I of course chased him and did all the wrong things trying to salvage it. He went back to his wife. I gave up 4 months after the fight and worked on me and understanding relationships. We haven’t spoken even though he tried calling me back in January once. After getting myself in a better place and taking care of me. I feel I really want to show him I grew and would like to reconnect. So I planned a little run in after these 5 more months since no contact. He talked but he doesn’t seem to have grown and is still very hurt. He is talking to my friends about me but everything is negative or he is trying to check my motives. He tells them I haven’t changed and I am crazy even though he talked nice to me, wished me a happy birthday and he admitted he has been watching me. I paged him cause I was upset he was talking to my friends and not me. I praised him about changing me and my relationships and told him all good things but I also told him that I felt hurt and hate it when he spoke to my friends and not me. I asked him to respect me and not talk to them about us. I asked him to talk to me when he was ready since he told me he wasn’t ready to talk yet. We haven’t spoken in a week and I find out he went to 2 of my friends to tell them I am crazy and haven’t changed. That I blew up his pager that week. I said all good stuff other then asking to not talk to my friends. It wasn’t a lot but it did take several pages since the pager doesn’t allow you to text much. What is he doing? I figure I leave him alone…if I see him just smile and love him so he can see the changes. But it is very hurtful that he didn’t respect my wishes. Is he testing me?
Hi! I was dating this guy for nearly a year. We go to the same small college and he is in the grade above me as the same major. We are each other’s first loves. Towards the end of our relationship he treated me like a “yo-yo”. He would push me away, then show interest, have sex, show interest then push me away again. It was a vicious cycle. I put him through a lot in the beginning of our relationship so he uses that as an excuse for the poor way he began to treat me. I was so vulnerable for this guy. I told him I would to anything for him, and I would change the things about myself that he did not like. It became unhealthy. We broke up and I finally started to just focus on myself again. My happiness is no longer relying on him. It has been a week since we have officially broke up (he broke up with me three times… i felt incapable of ending it… i didn’t want to leave things until i felt wanted… we were on and off… and this third time was our “final” time). He texted me, out of the blue, this morning and said “I can’t get you off of my mind”. I normally respond, but this time I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to fall into another trap, but it is so hard to simply just ignore. What do you think is best? We love each other, but right now we are just toxic for each other. I can’t deal with being pushed away and he can’t deal with my needy response. I’m so confused on what he wants with me. He never knew when he was with me and it killed me… I know I want him but his indecisiveness has caused this relationship to crumble. It just all seems like a chase! When I give him attention, he pushes me away, but when I don’t give him attention he begs for it back. I don’t want to play a game I just want to figure things out for my own peace of mind. Please help!
Women have an innate desire to be heard and understood. They want a partner who will listen to them without judgment and who will create an environment where they feel comfortable expressing vulnerability. Some of the best relationship advice for men is learning to master the skill of empathy. There are many ways to be empathetic, which include active listening, suspending any judgment or preconceived notions you may have about a given situation and putting yourself in her shoes, and showing positive body language to let her know that you’re engaged in the conversation.
So I’m doing the no contact rule. I’ve made every mistake in the book of trying to get my ex back. He does not want me back. That’s what he said, he left me for the girl he cheated with me on. He finds it hard to deal with issues and prefers the easy way out. This new girl is stroking his ego and I suppose he thinks a relationship with her will be more emotionally fulfilling to him. However, he’s my best friend and while my love is fading, I still want him to come back. I’ve deleted his number from my phone but my whatsapp profile pic and about me section is open to the public so that he can see what I’ve been up to. However, should I make it private again for the sake of making myself less accessible? Do I also delete him from Facebook? What should I do with regards to being accessible but not too accessible?
Typically, men love to see their woman as a prize that they need to work for. They see the woman that they choose to be with as an accomplishment and as someone that took work to earn. It might sound a little silly but it’s true. Men love to know a woman has a mind of her own, is confident, and isn’t easy to get. So, men pull away when women get too clingy. Do not start canceling all your plans to be available to him every day all day.
One of the reasons he liked the initial date was because he thought you were mysterious. You didn’t talk as much back then. He had to entertain you, he had to work hard to get you to open up to him. The fact remains that men love mystery! They love it when women give them a little and make them work for more. When you volunteer information constantly, men don’t place as much value in that information. When you avoid giving details and keep things as vague as possible it challenges him.
Eric, although I think you might be “spot on” on your theories, I can tell you for a fact that at age 67 I’ve had a lot more experience. Here really is the very bottom line in finding a good relationship, “it has to be cultivated and tended to”. After 40 yrs of marriage, loss due to death, we had to grow up together, we changed as we grew, we had to adjust, we became grown ups, our ideas, needs and desires changed. No matter how hard times are, no matter how much you share in common, or laugh or cry together, the one thing—“the only thing that keeps you together through thick and thin, till death do you part” Is a high regard for the other persons “person”, and a hell of magnetic physical attraction. Easy as that. It takes YEARS for the former to develop—and you can only hope that the latter remains. There is no magic wand. It is hard work that can pay you back with a lifetime of wonderful memories.
It has NOTHING to do with lying about your feelings, but about not chasing the other person when they need time and space, and TRUSTING the other person. When you chase, it basically signals him that you don’t trust him. Believe it, I know it’s counter-intuitive and for women, it’s a mystery, but it is TRUE. You want to date a guy, right? Then PLEASE understand it is natural for guys to want to find the balance between intimacy and independence, vulnerability and strength, relationship and freedom. If he need space, GIVE HIM SPACE. It says NOTHING about lying — it’s just it’s not the right time to discuss your feelings. Pick another time, like when you two are ready to have a talk — when he is feeling closer to you. Choose the right time and the right words. That’s all. No one says you should be lying about how you feel; and trust me, if you really are not happy to hear from him, then maybe you should just call it quits because that “love” is not real. I mean, if a child runs away and then comes back, would you ever feel and say “I don’t want to see you?” That’s just selfish, and love. Trust me, and this from a guy who has been on that side of the fence.
I was going through a really rough patch with my job. It turned me into a completely different person that I didnt like. My boyfriend and I got into an argument. I tried to give him space and he now broke up with me. I chased after him begging. Now that we’ve got everything in the open. He asked me to move out and give him more space and he’ll talk to me when he’s ready. And we’ll figure things out. Am I doing the right thing? Will he come back to me?
Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.
Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”
Commitment problems can come from a wide range of places. Perhaps they had a relationship that was horrible and their ex cheated on them. This would obviously make them hesitant to commit to someone else. They may also have parent issues that explain their commitment issues. First, you need to figure out why they are that way so you can tailor your behavior to make them want to commit. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but has commitment issues]
To be honest I don’t think he is scared to take the next step. I do think he likes you and has feelings for you but it seems to me that you are not setting boundaries and voicing your opinion and standards in this relationship so he will eventually take you for granted. I know this isn’t the answer you want to hear but I am here to give you the truth through years of experience. Right now, he has you when he wants you and he does not have anything pushing him to be with you. Some questions I would ask is why does it not bother you that he is touchy feely with other women? Becuase you don’t want to push him away? Or Don’t want to come off bossy, controlling, or needy? If so, then this will push a man away because he will take you for granted. Now, if you are open to open relationships then that’s ok too. Just trying to touch all bases here. But moving forward you need to know your good enough and not an option to this man. Go radio silent for 30 days! Also, challenge yourself to do some new activities to keep your mind busy. I know this will be hard but do this. 🙂 I invite you to reach out to me for a coaching session too if you would like so we can get some actions into play.
My bf an I have been dating for the past year an a half we don’t live together nor live in the same city, we only really see each other on weekends, it was amazing at first for the first part of the year of being together then all of a sudden he started accusing me of cheating on him with others guys let alone my daughter’s dad that I haven’t been with for 6 plus years, that im using drugs.. so tired of being accused of stupid things I’m ready to start doing them.. do you have any advice?
You guys fell in love for a reason, and while there are multiple reasons for your love, one of the biggest factors will be your personality. Show him what he’s missing by having fun and being yourself. We don’t mean go out and have fun without him, it’s more about making him realize why he loved you in the first place. By showing him the different sides to your personality you will allow him to come to his senses and tell you how much he misses you and can’t wait to see you.
What women are really looking for during the first several dates is if she feels an emotional connection with you. Having meaningful conversations show that you’re truly interested in who she is as a person rather than just wanting to get her into bed. Show her right off the bat that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know her by sharing something about yourself. You will signal to her that you’re willing to be open with her, which allows her the opportunity to let her guard down and reciprocate. Find out if you have any shared interests and values and don’t forget to be a gentlemen on your date by treating her with respect.
I have been trying to go no contact for quite some time now but I fail every now and then. I have deleted him from Facebook, I have deleted his contact information, I have even deleted Facebook so that I wouldn’t be tempted but somehow I found ways to reach him. I miss him terribly and he told me he needed time and space to focus on himself and we would reassess in a few months. I refuse for this relationship to be over and I feel like I haven’t moved on a tiny bit since we broke up 6 months ago. I have decided to start working out, move apartments, plan a big trip… but somehow the only person I really want to share my stories with is him. I am flying through Vancouver (where he now lives) in August and I thought I would text him for a quick coffee at the airport. I hope he will want to see me, I really do. I need some sort of closure and if not, a way to reconnect.
This particular relationship advice is for women exclusively. Big mistake women make is thinking that their man can read their thoughts and should “just know” when they are angry, hungry, tired or upset about something that happened at work. Even the most intuitive man cannot know what’s inside your head. Use your communication skills to express your feelings. It will make everything easier and you won’t end up harboring resentment because your man had no idea you wanted him to pick up pasta for dinner instead of pizza.
Men who pull away are often in situations in which they are playing the field and playing games with women’s emotions. This leads to instability right off the bat. This is where I like to take a moment to tell my coachees that even though they may be single and dating, not every man that they meet is going to have the same intentions. That’s why it’s important for you to love yourself fully, make sure you’re aligned with your goals and stay committed to your values.
I get that regardless of the genre, we all go through difficult times and some of of Us need some time alone or space to clear our minds and regroup. However, i find really diaconsidered and selfish to vanish with no explanation. If you really care about the other person, you value their presence and the energy they put into you. Many paople take other for granted ans think they deserve understanding for this erratic behavior. I can assure you that a real grown up man or woman will take the time and effort to let you at least know that they are going through challenging times and they need to take some time off the normal rhythm of the relationship so you dont go through unnecessary pain and anxiety. Yes! Life is too short to waste it near unkind selfish people. There is no need for drama, that is why there will never be ok with people who dissapear and expect you to act real cool at anytime they want to come back! And yes! I can wait for someone who takes the time to tell me with honesty what is going !!!! The rest is total BS
#9 He knows it isn’t right but doesn’t know how to tell you. He may love you but may not be in love with you. Yes, that sounds like a cliché, but it’s a real thing. He cares a great deal for you, but that romantic love for you just may not be there. That last thing he wants to do is hurt your feelings, so he may become distant while he tries to figure out how to approach you about it.
Remember that oh so fabulous life you’re living following the end of your relationship? Well, it just got even better because your friends just invited you on a girls trip to a tropical island! It’s the perfect opportunity for you to get away, get some sun, sip a few cocktails, and forget all of your worries. And since your ex no longer gets the privilege of stalking you on social media (you did unfriend him, right?) you have to find a way to let him know just how much fun you’re having on your trip. That’s where the postcard comes into play. To really make your ex miss you, have the best time of your life on your vacation, and mail him a postcard from your exotic locale. It’s the easiest way to show him that your life hasn’t stopped since the demise of your relationship, and don’t be surprised if he calls you as soon as you return home to get all the deets on your amazing trip.
When you’re anxious for a guy to make you his girlfriend, he will be able to smell your desperation from a mile away. This desperation will turn him off, and he will be thinking of a bunch of different ways to get rid of you once and for all. So instead of being needy and clingy, you have to become aloof. If you become less interested in him, he will fight harder to regain your attention, and it will make him want to take things to the next level.
A man will be fascinated at seeing a new side of his partner (or crush) and will give her more attention for this pleasant distraction. Even something as minor as a change in hair color can do wonders. The reason why is NOT just because it’s a superficial change in appearance…but rather because you will feel more confident. You will have a sexy new look and can also try sexy new personality traits to go along with it. Want to be feisty for a change? Want to tease him more? Want to gently push his buttons and get him flustered? A change in appearance or in lifestyle will get his attention quickly.
I’m thinking of pulling away for that reason. The words of affirmation just aren’t there at all. And what’s more upsetting is he told me a story about how he expressed his feelings to his ex girlfriend almost instantly, really quickly into them meeting each other. They ended up breaking up because she was not as into him. So now I feel like I have to disappear just to see if he actually likes me.
This is an important point to mention, because men who persist in overtly negative behavior in your presence are antagonizing you. They’re testing you to see whether you will tolerate being taken for granted or if you’re going to call them on it. A woman of class and self-respect WILL walk away, because she’s not interested in any man that gives her less than 100% of his full attention.
My ex broke up with me by phone December 30. Things were good other than minor miscommunications which got annoying but we always talked it out after. December 29 we had sex and he took me out for dinner and things were good. Then the next day after making new years plans with him he said 2018 is approaching and will be busy with work and he felt we didnr communicate great so broke up with me over the phone. I was in shock and didnt know what to say so I asked if I could call him later to talk. He said okay but it wouldnt change his mind about his decision. I never contacted him because I was hurt then he sent me a long message apologizing, wishing me the best and if I ever needed someone to talk too he would be there for me. We have been dating officially since September 2017 but in an ongoing sexual relationship as if we were dating since june 2017. We spent this past christmas together with no problems and things were great.