They tell us they aren't capable of being in a long-term, exclusive relationship. They tell us they think women are controlling and selfish and don't know how to stop feeling that way. And yet we bypass these statements. The words go in one ear and out the other. Or we remember them but refuse to believe them. We tell ourselves, "He's just wounded!" or "He's lying to protect himself."
While it's nice to consult your girl friends or bros about relationship issues, keep in mind that every relationship is different and what works for one couple may not work for you. This also means that not everyone is going to understand why you do what you do; it may not make sense to your best friend why you chose to give up something you once loved for your significant other — and that's OK.
“Women are open. They believe, they subscribe, and they go all in. They will do what it takes to meet the man of their dreams and put themselves out there,” says professional matchmaker, Susan Trombetti. “They are more social, they are happy a lot of the times, and in this generation of women, they are the best version of themselves: educated, great friends, independent, great careers, and great family. They have a lot to offer someone.”
One of the most important pieces of relationship advice for women is to have fun with your partner. Being able to joke around, go on adventures, and laugh together as a couple will help you be better able to weather any future storms that may arise. You and your partner should make an effort to go out, bring back date night, travel to exotic places, and try new things as a couple in order to keep the spark alive between the two of you. So instead of sitting on the couch each night binge-watching Netflix, take your relationship out of the house and find new and exciting activities to try.
Remember that oh so fabulous life you’re living following the end of your relationship? Well, it just got even better because your friends just invited you on a girls trip to a tropical island! It’s the perfect opportunity for you to get away, get some sun, sip a few cocktails, and forget all of your worries. And since your ex no longer gets the privilege of stalking you on social media (you did unfriend him, right?) you have to find a way to let him know just how much fun you’re having on your trip. That’s where the postcard comes into play. To really make your ex miss you, have the best time of your life on your vacation, and mail him a postcard from your exotic locale. It’s the easiest way to show him that your life hasn’t stopped since the demise of your relationship, and don’t be surprised if he calls you as soon as you return home to get all the deets on your amazing trip.
whenever I ask him what’s wrong with him it takes a while before I get just one sentence out of him, this has affected our relationship as communication is being lacked. Ik he’s a guy and doesn’t want to seem vulnerable I understand that but we had a over the text argument more like me yelling at him even though for days I have asked him if we can talk in person so we can settle this in person so no communication is being misinterpreted but all he did was bring up lil excuses not to talk to me or I’d ask him when we would be able to and he’d be like “Idk” and because of that I would overthink everything and then just hold everything in until finally I exploded. I usually hold my tounge with being sweet and patient and I was like that for about 3 days but I was done with him not talking about what is going on with him and us and it all started when I gave him the impression that I didn’t want to be in this relationship anymore. We were in the car and I was jumbling all my feelings and not even knowing what I was saying, I said to him that I wanted some space to get myself together so that I could love myself more for this relationship. And I think all he got from me talking was that I wanted space and that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him because that’s usually something somebody would say if they wanted to end it slowly without saying “I wanna break up with you”. I shouldn’t of worded it like that but keep in mind I was PMSing to the max and I even told him that was why I freaked out on him and to try to understand not to take anything I say personal or even seriously.
Answer: Remind him what he was chasing you for. Show him that just because he’s won over you doesn’t mean he gets to keep you. Instead of groveling and chasing him, turn the tables and make him work to get you back. If you remind him that you can be just fine without him, he’s likely to begin the hunt and chase all over again. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in 30 super sexy ways]
I was with my boyfriend for 6months I found out the whole time he was talking to other woman and he had social media accounts behind my back to do so, we had very good and bad times as well normal stuff and he made me meet his family and him and his family told me I was changing him into a better man and was giving him inspiration to make his life better I’m just so confused I showed him all of the proof I found and we had an incident like that before but this time I had all my proof I sent it in a text message because I was t with him in person and he blocked me from everything it’s been a month now and he hasn’t even contacted me to say sorry or nothing I’m just here left in the dark and so confused
I have this guy I’ve been dating off & on for the past 2years but we’ve been back seriously together for 8months now but suddenly few days back he just decide that he can’t go on with the relationship anymore that he feels the relationship lack trust meanwhile I’ve been 100% honest & loyal to him and he’s not get in touch with me since the which I did not aswell buh he watched my whatsapp status evrytime Wich I don’t do to his…..I’m really hurt please what should I do I need your advice??
Hey there. If I may, I’d like to say that we are currently in a similar situation with the ‘ex-guy-comes-back-and-the-two-of-us-starts-dating-again.’ And I can understand the emotional roller coaster you are going through and the feeling of tiredness is not new to me most particularly since I am in my last year of getting my law degree. The stress arising from thinking about his slow reaction time to my texts, and the fact that we seldom go out together are driving me up against the wall. And so I finally but gently told him that I was seriously exhausted, not just because of him, and that I needed to focus on myself first so I was implying that I would be leaving him out there for awhile while I do my own thing.
I hope this 'relationship guide for women' has been helpful for you to sort out your love life. Another point that I suggest here is to know and understand that to have a strong and healthy relationship, both the man and woman has to put in equal efforts. However, if you think that you are taking extra efforts to make your relationship work, without getting any help from your boyfriend or partner, it may be a red signal to end the relationship. All the best!
In this article, I am going to walk you through a step by step process on why these issues may happen. I ask for you to not only read but take the time to see if any of these situations sit with you. Once you notice a situation that has occurred for you previously or currently I want you to ask yourself where this is coming from? I work with many clients and this is the most common thing woman face these days. I invite you to share your comments below and I will personally answer questions you may have and try to give you my advice tailored to the question you’ve asked. I love hearing from you so please feel free to post a comment.
Hi Eric, I have situation that you’ve probably dealt with. I was seriously dating /living with the love of my life and we were so inove that we wouldn’t even consider anyone else. We were together for a yr and 5 months when an ex-friend ( homewrecker) began conversing with him in posts on social media. I trusted him, so nenever thought there would be risk. He ended up leaving me for her, moved in with her, and has been playing “step-dad” to her rotten kids. We’ve tried several times to work it out because he says he knows he hurt me, he screwed up and now he loves 2 women and he’s confused and has not been able to choose. He knows she wrecked us but can’t seem to get completely back to me. He even calls her stupid, and says he’s miserable with her. Now, I’m not so stupid as to not know that actions speak louder than words, but I love him and want to put us back together. She will never be the woman that I am and I think part of him feels sorry for her while I do not!! She has always been extremely jealous of me, but I’m in NO way jealous of her. Can you offer any advice? I know this is the condensed version of too many details to list…I wish I could talk to you. I believe there is hope as I know men at 46 go through mid life crises. At 45 myself though, I know what I want…hope to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks…
I have known this guy, we will call him Steven for the sake of this article. So Steven and I have known each other for 4 years, we met in a small town in Alberta, and hit it off, he was 19 and I was 21. He said he had never met another girl that was so like him and he really liked me, but at the same time he partied and did things he shouldn’t have been doing so I never got into anything serious with him. Things ended up happening (He moved out of the staff house, I met someone else who was more down to earth and settled – no serious relationship became of this), we grew apart from each other (about 75% my fault and I regret this and I think this may be why he is so standoffish today) and then he got this possessive girlfriend and completely cut me out. I moved away and then a year later we started talking again. We then talked on and off for a couple years. He had finally gotten away from his crazy girlfriend and then got in to another relationship where he was cheated on, and then into another relationship where he was cheated on again, and on Christmas day too. So here we are, 4 years later and we still talk on and off and I am realizing that he is the first guy I have ever loved. I literally can’t stop dreaming about him and thinking about him and it’s driving me nuts. I know most would say to move on because he obviously doesn’t like me enough to try but he is also going through a really stressful time in his life right now and he lives across the country. I really just wish I could go up to him and tell him that I want to be together but he lives too far away. What should I text him without scaring him off. We were texting the other night but he stopped texting and then I haven’t heard from him since. Forgive me guys, my last legit date was June of 2014 (and before that was November 2012) so my experience in dealing with men is so bad haha I am also sorry if all of this is all jumbled and makes no sense.
we are in a long distance relationship and i am a school student where as he goes to office for work . i miss him very much . i just called him and he was irritated so i had to leave him alone. the next time we'll meet will be in summers and its very hard but i feel better keeping myself busy as to know our importance in each other's lives...i have my exam on my head but he is occupied in my heart :(
Treat yourself to a new make up look, dress up for him, or get a new haircut. It will leave you attractive and unforgettable in your boyfriend’s eyes and mind even after you leave. He’ll start thinking of you and wanting to be closer to you. This will work especially if you’re getting attention from other guys around you. So, invest in yourself and make yourself feel good to make your guy miss you.
Me and my ex boyfriend were very happy together he used to treat me like a princess our relation was very passionate and intimate we were together for 10 months but we literally lived a forever in this few months we planned so much together but suddenly he said that he doesn’t like relationships he doesn’t feel for me anymore he needs space I am dependent on him and that’s toxic
Fast forward. In November after I wrote him a long note about my feelings and what I went thru when we split we talked in person. He finally opened up about why he didn’t tell me the truth about his 4th marriage. We continue to text and talk on the phone sometimes. We are both still angry about the past, he more than I. I am willing to let go and and forgive him but it seems now he is in that anger stage.
Adding on from below he said I was pushing him away so I’ve now stopped contact. He says it’s to late and I will never change. He still watches my instagram stories when I post them. I’m just baffled as we both feel so strongly for one another and have been besotted with one another since day 1. Possibly he does have problems he needs to deal with also. I don’t want to lose him and he knows this. He also knows I’m not giving up on our relationship and what we had
Look at any of the popular and top women's magazine and you will find airbrushed picture perfect poses of dazzling divas on one page after another. Such flawless looks may not be possible in real life but you will make your boyfriend want you more if you manage to pull it off once in a while. Don't confuse this with being asked to put on kilos of makeup and displaying model like behavior all the time. Just give him a glimpse of what you too can transform into if you desired. Your sexy look will be engraved into his mind for a long, long time.
Ok so my relationship with my ex was amazing! eveverything was good! I’m 28 and he’s 41! we met at work and we just connected immediately! my mom died 8 months ago and ever since then we have had a strain and it’s been a little hard but he knows what I’m going through because his mom also passed 10 years ago! my ex has never been the commitment type but he was with me for 3 years! even he said I am the only girl he’s ever loved and actually cared about! But then he wanted this break with me but was still contacting me and seeing me 3 times a week atleast! But then he cheated! he strayed and he always said he would! but it was just out of no where! he still says he loves me and maybe one day we can be together but we just need space! but I don’t get it cuz he still wants to talk to me and make sure I’m doing good! this break up had been really hard on me especially since my mom just died and he was the only one there for me! please help me I don’t know how to take control of this break up! He’s holding all the cards right now and I hate it!
Wow, the anger. No wonder you may be having relationship issues. It has nothing to do with lying or hiding true feelings. It’s about letting a guy have his space. If you come after me saying how horrible I am etc. etc. I will NEVER want to see you again. Nobody likes that kind of women, and no man wants to date his mother. Also pulling away is not “bad behavior.” Would you rather he spend time with you but verbally and physically abuse you? Bad behavior is if the guy is rude and abusive and mean, etc. Pulling away is a man’s way of saying “Look, I like you a lot, but I really need some time and space to sort things out.” If you can’t accept that not everything is rosy and happy all the time, and that if the man you “love” needs to pull away and you just bark and say “you’re behaving badly,” then you have no reason to be in a relationship.
“Men are so used to being pursued when they’re trying to gain perspective that he’s going to be shocked you’re giving him the space he wants. He’ll realize that you’re different from most other women he’s dated, in a good way” – Good doesn’t begin to cover it. I would be ecstatic and incredulous that my partner is actually willing to let me do what I need to do to be myself, with no ulterior motive.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 11 years and we’ve been engaged but nothing happened. We have a daughter and I feel he does not feel the same about me. We’ve had major issues but always end back together. We having problems now and I said I want a open honest loyal relationship but ye says I’m mad and I spy on him because I want him to invite me on his face book which I haven’t been on ever. I feel if he can’t allow hes full commitment it will never work. He’s friends with everyone we know on fb but me. It hurts and I’m really sad about this because he does not want to be open with me. He the LD me today he won’t give my way until I prove myself. I’m confused and don’t know what to do we live together with our daughter but feels like a nothing and I mean nothing to him…. Cf
It is scientifically proven that low testosterone can make men pull away, act distant and have mood swings. Irritable Male Syndrome (a.k.a male PMS) can occur anytime and can affect their relationship. If your man is avoiding you or trying to avoid you, he may be having IMS and it will get back to normal as soon as his testosterone get back to normal. If you have an intimate relationship with him and he is avoiding having sexual intercourse with you, it maybe because of his IMS that can also cause a lower sex drive or even erectile dysfunction. If you notice of these symptoms in your man, you should try to find out what exactly is happening, so you will know for sure why he is pulling away from you. Click here to read more about men having hormonal differences.
Has your man ever been described as a player? While you may think that your relationship with one another is progressing at a good a pace, a man may pull away when he senses that things between the two of you are getting too serious. If he's interested in more of a fling than a committed, long-term relationship, he may put up a wall in order to stall or stop whatever's progressing between the two of you. At the same time, if he's feeling a lot of pressure from you to commit or your relationship is moving at a rapid pace, he may also choose to act in a distant manner in order to slow things down and take the time he needs to figure out what he really wants going forward.
We’re all about empowered woman, but when you don’t let your man do even as much as change a lightbulb for you, it will make him feel inferior and not needed. Remember, his self-worth is directly connected to his ability to provide for you and protect you. Let him open doors for you, fix what needs to be fixed, pick you up late from the train station, etc. And if you make more money than him, still, let him pay for things. Being strong and independent is wonderful, but it doesn’t mean you can’t accept help or courtesies from other people.
So true! You can’t coerce someone to be with you. When a guy wants to be with you they just will. That is what happened with my current boyrfriend. We dated before and he didn’t want a commitment. We broke up and dated other people. We started talking again after many months of being apart, became friends for some time and began spending more time together. It naturally came together well and after time we verbally agreed that we were together and just wanted to be with each other. End of story. It’s very simple.
Natalie, I have just seen your text, I am not sure how it went since December but the best to do in this case (always), I know that it`s really hard, because you can`t focus on something else but him. You have to disappear, so he will release you are not taken for granted to him. Men can say anything but they get crazy about when the women is doing the same thing or even worst :). He has too feel that he missing you, and beside that focus on your own life and on yourself, the happiness should come from yourself and not from him or any other person. Just step back and see what happens, he will be eager to be the same as before believe me ;) and success!
It's great to call your partner mushy and cute names but you could be risking falling in the trap of the comfort zone if you are overdoing it. No matter how sensitive your guy is, deep down inside he is still a guy and could possibly be turned off if you keep using cute names all the time. Think of how he would want to hear his name from a girl and say it out loud when you call him.
Though most women know about abusive relationship, there are many who live with it for the entire life. There are plenty of women who have to endure physical, emotional or sexual abuse from their partners, but are not able to break away from their relationship. Hence, it is necessary that women look out for abusive relationship signs in the initial stages of relationship itself. If your boyfriend or husband insults you in front of his friends or loses his temper for little issues, it is better that you break up with him. Moreover, if your friends and family are warning you against going out with your boyfriend, give it a serious thought before taking any decision. Most women are not able to break away from abusive relationships because their partner apologizes after hurting them and promises never to repeat it again. However, you must understand that such people never change and you should not waste your time waiting for him to change his ways.
Ok ladies, I get really sick of these articles telling us we need to put up with these men that have ego problems and a lot of other problems that need to be worked out with therapy. Yes a man might withdraw a little bit if there is a problem, but a man who really loves you and is secure with himself is going to want to work things out with you, not ignore you. If a man withdraws, don’t always blame yourself like these articles tell you too. This man you’re dating probably has psychological issues, maybe so deep-seated that he’s unable to have a relationship at all. I mean a real man is going to tell you he has a problem, he’s not just going to ignore you. A man who does not explain himself and chooses to just ignore you when he knows it’s making you feel bad is a mean and sadistic person, plain and simple. This does not mean that you can stalk him though. That’s a different story, gotta be reasonable :)
I would stick to the break up message. He is obviously having issues about something–a past girlfriend, the age difference, the wealth difference, reservations about being committed or worries about dating a co-worker. Whatever his reasons are, he did not try to stop the break up from happening. It seems from his messages since then that he is more interested in just being a good friend to you. If he ever wants to be more, it is up to him to make a move. From his behavior right now, it seems like he is fine with things just as they are. It is just too bad that he never decided to share his complex reasons for wanting the break up and for being so unreachable. Hopefully, your next boyfriend will be a bit more open about how he thinks and feels. Good luck, Harrie!
I maintained my cool during this time, we text a bit and even had a bit of a flirt but I did text a few times with suggestions to meet up that got ignored. I finally decided i would just ask whether he was still interested but in a very casual way, but got my point across, he apologised saying he’d been manic at work and that his mum wasn’t too well, but that wasn’t an excuse for not being in touch and asked me how i was, what id been up to etc. I replied with a lighthearted message saying i understood. A week then passed and nothing, so i sent another one, a bit more pressing and saying if he was ‘still being useless then fine, but can he meet me for a drink this week’ if not the i guess it’s best to leave things, but either way let me know’ He didn’t read this message for a number of days, then by the 4th day i got angry and sent a message saying ‘ or you could completely ignore me’ he then messaged me back saying he was sorry and being useless wasn’t his intention and that he was working way the previous week and would have struggled to meet me for a drink and that he said ‘sorry to have messed me around’ and hoped my broken foot was better. I replied back with a very lighthearted message also apologising for my behavouir and ended it with some fun chit chat, didnt ask any questions and didn’t suggest meeting up.
Guys like girls who have a focus – whether it is studies, sports, career or any other activity. Show him that you are a woman with dreams, passion and ambition. Be focused in your own life and vigorously pursue whatever you are doing at the moment. Men are naturally attracted to successful women and if you manage to become one, there is little more you will need to do to make him want you more and more.
This has nothing to do with money, but instead, it has everything to do with small favors that he can perform for you. If you’re stuck on the side of the road, ask him to pick you up. Or, if you can’t reach the light fixture in your bedroom, ask him to come over and change the bulb for you. These small tasks may not seem like much, but over time, he will subconsciously feel attached to you because of all of the work that he has put in. People tend to like you more if they do favors for you, it’s a theory called the "Ben Franklin Effect.” So continue to ask him to do small things here and there. In no time, he’ll feel so connected to you, he will be anxious to ask you to be his girlfriend!
Maybe, what you need is to stop thinking about how long you’d have to wait for him to want to see you more and focus on yourself first. I know its difficult to stop. But I think what you need is to gently nudge him and tell him that you want to see him more often, but that you won’t wait around for him forever if he keeps up his slow reaction time to your needs. Men don’t understand what we women want from them sometimes unless they’re relationship experts so I suggest you give your guy a little unobtrusive push. :)