He may be interested in developing a relationship with you. He may also realize that he is not ready to enter into a committed relationship with someone that he cares for. Continue to remain his friend, but realize that he may be at a different point in his life that you are. When people are drunk, they are much more likely to act in a flirtatious or intimate manner. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Best of luck, Vicki!
Lets Chat Love is striving to become the best relationship forum available, and we’re on a mission to provide teenagers, youngsters, adults and seniors a platform to help improve their love lives. The community is full of users from every ethnicity, gender and religion, from qualified relationship experts to your everyday person. Sign up today to talk about your issues and to seek guidance from other members, free of charge.
Thank you, Ray. I needed a male’s perspective, I’m hurt & all my girl friends are angry, so I can relate to almost all of these posts. I have been with a man that “needs his space” & needs a woman to be understanding about it. It’s hard for me because although we have been in a relationship for just a week over a year, I’ve been in love with him for 20. We had a 2 year off & on thing back then & I was very young & I did not understand him back then. Although I understand him now, it still hurts, & the fear is always there, nagging at me, bringing up thoughts like, is he wanting to see someone else? Am I the one pushing him away with my feelings? Why does he not love me the way I love him? Always wondering if there is someone else, but never really believing it. He told me from day one (a year ago) how he was, & I guess I decided back then I loved him enough I could handle his occasional distance & that I had enough love to push through it.
Exactly Why Guys Start Acting Distant All Of A Sudden (And What To Do About It) Why Men Pull Away: 3 Easy Ways To Stop A Man From Withdrawing: Infographic The Real Reasons Men Pull Away When They Are Falling In Love How To Tell If He’s Testing You By Pulling Away From You The Real Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close Why Men Pull Away In The Early Stages: How To Get Your New Guy Back
My ex and I had been seeing each for a year and half, we are both people who never thought we would end up together but eventually it all happened. He dumped me yesterday using the excuse that he is not 100% in. Before this for the past month he has been on and off with the way he feels, sayin he wants me then testing himself to try not and see me for a week but then rocks up at my house when his drunk and with no invite. The next night he invited me over I brought up a question that’s had been bothering me for ages and from there it all went south and he ended it but then said he doesn’t want me to leave sad, we woke the next morning and said he made a mistake and doesn’t want to break up, and then And then as I left he through a 180 and changed his mind but sat there’s crying as he ended it but said he still loved me but it’s for the best. I love the boy dearly and want him back more than anything the way he has ended it has confused me beyound no doubt with his constant change in thought. He says he loves me then dumps me the next day. My worry with your steps is that he is a stubborn and when he makes a decision that usually how it’ll stay but then again he over thinks everything to a point that he hurts his head. My other worry Is that he has deleted me from most social media saying he can’t handling seeing me, so the only time he would see me is maybe out in town. How is meant to miss me if I’m not there to remind him of what his missing. I love this boy and I’m sure you can understand that it feels like I’m having a heart attack over here everytime I breath.
You deserve better.. don’t contact him, it’s desperate… I know it’s hard, but respect and love yourself. Take it from a girl who took 13 years to get out. He doesn’t respect you nor your relationship .. he has control, knows you’ll be there should he want to return. Please, take time to really determine if you want to spend life with someone who breaks up with you every few months? Hits on other girls? Hangs up on you? He isn’t invested in the dynamic.. don’t give more than you receive.
Me and my ex boyfriend have been broken up for months I think maybe years yesterday he told me that he doesn’t need me or want me it’s because of a heated conversation we had and he said that the reason why he is keeping his distance from me is because of the stupid things that I do like not being honest or talking to my ex-boyfriend from the last relationship but I’m not doing that anymore now all the sudden now he says that I don’t mess with him anymore I couldn’t even go fishing with his family today and I want to know what I can do to not be in a bad mood while keeping distance from him as well and not contacting him I need help I can’t sit here day after day crying about him texting him or calling him he said he’s keeping his distance from me he completely shut me off he said he doesn’t need me or want me so I try to find things to occupy me like watch movies or play games on my phone but it still doesn’t help what should I do to make it seem like I don’t miss him but I want him to miss me but deep down inside I do miss him what do you think I should do?
I hope this article helped you learn what it takes to make a man miss you and want you even more. But that’s not all it takes to have an amazing relationship. Do you know what really inspires a man to commit? Do you know what it takes for him to see you as girlfriend material, as a woman who is a cut above all the rest? If not, you need to read this next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Your man may be withdrawing because he feels like you’re pressuring him to move the relationship along more quickly than he’s comfortable with. If this is the case, there’s a clear and obvious new boyfriend advice you need to take: back off. To stop a man from withdrawing because he’s feeling rushed, you have to let things calm down and create the opportunity for the relationship to develop at a pace that feels good for both of you.

This man is clearly into you, romantically, emotionally, physically, and intellectually. He’s making that clear with his words and actions. He is making an effort to connect, to spend time with you, and is public with his interest and affection. I think you are getting in your own way. It sounds like you need to re-evaluate your expectations of what love/attraction/romance should look like . You say:
Eric, although I think you might be “spot on” on your theories, I can tell you for a fact that at age 67 I’ve had a lot more experience. Here really is the very bottom line in finding a good relationship, “it has to be cultivated and tended to”. After 40 yrs of marriage, loss due to death, we had to grow up together, we changed as we grew, we had to adjust, we became grown ups, our ideas, needs and desires changed. No matter how hard times are, no matter how much you share in common, or laugh or cry together, the one thing—“the only thing that keeps you together through thick and thin, till death do you part” Is a high regard for the other persons “person”, and a hell of magnetic physical attraction. Easy as that. It takes YEARS for the former to develop—and you can only hope that the latter remains. There is no magic wand. It is hard work that can pay you back with a lifetime of wonderful memories.
Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?
I’ve been dating this guy for about 6 weeks or so. Yes, early days I know, but we have passed a lot of these things. I’ve met his brother, his casual friends and a lot of his close friends. Natural since we’ve known each other for 8 years really. Anyway I feel like I’ve ruined something great. We try and have a date a week, very casual ones though, we feel good around each other, talk is easy, we support each other, have some similar interests and hobbies, and the sex is great. It was only how one date night he was sick and I organised an easy night at his where I would bring over dinner, watch a movie and just hang out. He told me he wasn’t up to it and wanted some alone time. I get that. I have those days too. I also get that plans come up and that if there is a friend you can only see once in a blue moon then you take it. But, does it have to be the same night? Do I have to find out through a third person that he went to a party while sick on the night he wanted to be alone? Now in past relationships I’ve done the bad thing, let these things slide, hurt me and reward them for it; but I didn’t want to do that. I messaged him today – not trusting my voice – with something along the lines of ‘since you believe in honesty is the best policy, next time tell me alone time just means time with anyone but me.’ I told him I’ve been in that type of relationship before and I was really hurt by it. He said he understood and it was inconsiderate before slipping in the whole thing of ‘personally, i’m not looking for a serious relationship right now.’. Ok, I get that. Just shy of two months dating (even though we’ve known each other for 8 years) and we are young! We are only 22. I agreed with him but he also knows that down the line those feelings on my end might change. I also said that if they change for him to let me know since I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want him to be either. I’ve been in the whole one sided relationship before and the guy really hurt me in that situation. I feel like I’ve ruined it by telling him how I feel since he just slipped in that line and it just felt like another blow. I like this guy, I could see a potential relationship in the future but I’m just scared that even though I said I don’t want a label that he thinks that since i added that months down the line that could change. When that time comes I’m just wondering how to reach him to move from just casual dating to a proper relationship.
Great article, so my situation started out last week with him pulling away, first day I was asking him what going on why so distant, and he explained he was stressed and they he didn’t want anything to change between us and regardless we would make it. Unfortunately the distant behavior never changed and I was giving him space, I was going to the doctor about a health issue and that when I let him know about it, his lack of concern for me and my health too me by suprise. I understand you need to handle your life but I would think a moment of empathy could succumb the moment of space needed (just a follow up text that he actually cared I wasn’t asking for the world) welp he just gave me a two answer text then I was I asked about his lack of empathy he apologies saying he did understand the message. So I broke off the realatiobshio bc I refused to be with someone who didn’t care and he had never responded to the message and it’s been five day. Please advise?
Work and school are incredibly demanding, especially when you’re going full time. He may decide he needs to put more effort into his school work to get that degree he’s been going after for several years, or maybe he wants to spend extra hours in the office to earn the promotion. Whatever it is, he may be spending less and less time with you and focusing more on his work. If you can handle his excessive time NECESSARY to complete his goals, you’ll enjoy the benefit in the long run. But you have to remind yourself that this particular reason for pulling away has nothing to do with you- he simply needs to spend more time focusing on certain goals to help him in life.
On the other hand, if your relationship is more like Boris and Natasha’s, all he’s hearing is you nagging for every little thing he does. The two of you might argue often, even though you care deeply for one another. Then all he’s going to feel is pain. This will not lead to him missing you. He may, in fact, choose to get away from you as often as he can!
This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.
Another important relationship tip for women is to show gratitude. In many relationships, certain tasks, chores, and other actions start to be taken for granted. For example, while your partner may have a routine of taking out the trash, putting gas in the car, or doing the laundry, saying "thank you" and showing your appreciation for your partner's actions are key components of a successful relationship. No matter how grand the gesture is that your partner makes, whether it's buying you flowers or flour, you shouldn't hesitate to show your appreciation.  
He was supposed to buy his ticket to visit, and he had not. When I got home he called me. When I asked if he was still visiting, he said he wanted more, he did not know me as well as he would like, the calls were not building the relationship for him and seeing each other once a month would not be enough. That day and that day only during our calls, I said I knew the two months would be hard, that we still should get to know each other, that it thought we were falling, and that I while not there, I could have seen him as my husband (not yet, but could see it). I felt confused as he had been leading, initiating most calls, was the one saying love you, and asking to talk. He said that I was great emotionally and verbally and he did value me. I finally said, I want you to have what you want and wish you the best.

#1 You are too pushy. If you are coming on too strong and he is not in the same place in the relationship, he will likely start to withdraw. Guys don’t like feeling pressured into being with someone. Wanting to maintain control, if they feel as if you are moving too fast, trying to persuade them to take the relationship to a point they aren’t ready for, they will begin to pull back and try to create distance.


Earlier this year. I had gone to Europe to visit my friend. On my way back I stopped in Dubai while in transit to catch flight back home. I went into my Tinder app. Matched with a guy who later began chatting with me. Long story short. He and chatted in for a month. It was cool but hadnt expected to go anywhere as I’m live in South Africa and he an American lived amd worked in the middle east. In that month of our chats I lost my job which was such a big blow to me. He had taken a liking to me so much that he wanted me to visit him in the US all expenses paid. Very hesitant initially but decided to take the plunge. Didn’t get the US visa in time so we decided to meet in Dubai for a few days as thier visa process was faster. Flights booked and paid for. Visa ready. Just has to travel. By this stage he was so into me. He even said hesees me innocent his future and wants a life with me. Promised to look after me financially in my time of unemployment. I had no expectations of this statement. So is great. He sent me money regularly to for support which was very kind. So I went to Dubai he had booked us into a great hotel. Day 1 was lovely. Day 2 was ok started becoming very distant. Day 3. Left me entire day in hotel alone came back 2am. Day 4 ignored me all day until I had to catch flight home late that day. When asked. Just says im dealing with unexpected stuff. That’s it. So im like what must i do or can I help you through it. Just said he needs time. Distant and dismissive. Felt like an irritation to me for those days. I’m heartbroken. I was so accommodating. I got back home amd he didn’t bother to ask If I got home ok. So my question is whether or not what must i do
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 11 years and we’ve been engaged but nothing happened. We have a daughter and I feel he does not feel the same about me. We’ve had major issues but always end back together. We having problems now and I said I want a open honest loyal relationship but ye says I’m mad and I spy on him because I want him to invite me on his face book which I haven’t been on ever. I feel if he can’t allow hes full commitment it will never work. He’s friends with everyone we know on fb but me. It hurts and I’m really sad about this because he does not want to be open with me. He the LD me today he won’t give my way until I prove myself. I’m confused and don’t know what to do we live together with our daughter but feels like a nothing and I mean nothing to him…. Cf
Hello .. my ex and I broke up about 5 days ago . We were in a long-distance relationship for about 4 months . Everything went well and we managed to see each other a couple of time despite the distance . Everything went ok and then one day everything changed, he became closed and distance from me , he had troubles with his studies (and felt confused about his future and studies), because of the distance things became harder , I felt that I want be there for him in this difficult time but can’t ,because he is distancing from me -and I can’t be there for someone that don’t allow me to do it . Each day I became more and more cold and distance from me ,until I talk to him about it and he told me that he can’t deal with everything right now ,and he need me right now next to him in live and not through the phone . 4 days ago I spoke with him and told him that I love him a lot and want to be with and through this hard times and wish there was a way to help him , and that I understand that he need time alone to think about everything , and that it doesn’t mean I give up on him . He respond me in a cold way “thank you,I appreciate it “ no I love you ,no affection nothing . And then I offered him maybe to come visit me , I thought that was a good idea ,but he refused and said he can’t and he can’t continue togheter , the distance is to difficult for him especially now-when he needs his girlfriend by it side . The last message from him was:that it’s hard for him this break up and he feels it’s too soon and it’s not supposed to and now and like that and that I’m very important and meaningful for him , but the only thing that comfort him, is that we have so unique connection that he is sure we will have another opportunity to be togheter when the time is right . My question is what should I do ? I feel like it was a mistake that we break up , and maybe I should have stay in contact with him ?

After 1.5 years of dating, my ex randomly broke it off by saying “he’s extremely stressed with life right now” and that he felt bad he couldn’t give me 100% right now. He felt as if he was putting me on the back burner, which I completely disagree with. It was the healthiest, most amazing and fun relationship anyone could be in. He didn’t want to ask me to wait for him because he didn’t think it was fair, and so he broke it off. I don’t know what to do. The last time we talked, about 2 weeks ago, he said he didn’t know if he wanted this break up. I’m so heart broken. I thought I was going to marry this guy, he’s amazing. What do I do now?
I know this is very difficult, but just continue what you are doing and do not initiate contact with him first. However, if it as already been eight weeks with him not nudging you, then he does not deserve you anyway. Or else give it a last shot and try contacting him now, and if you all get back together then switch your position. Act like you do not care how often you see him. Use reverse psychology on him.
My boyfriends mother passed away 5 months ago he took it really hard.we have been together for 3 years we had planned to get married and have a baby.I came home from work one day and he said it was over. No fight because we never fight. He said he wanted to go to school and better himself but he had to do it alone. We talked in the beginning. I decided to do no contact after 4 days he texted wanting to see me for lunch. Everything went well a couple days later I asked to go to dinner. After we went to dinner I tried to put the moves on him. After being shot down he left. He texted me the next day saying he had fun. Feeling rejected I decided to go back to no contact. It’s been 9 days and nothing. However he saw a friend of mine the other night and talked about how he misses me and my son. He told her we still talk and see each other.

Sometimes the man you’re missing is yours, and you want to stay in his mind. There are many things you can do to ensure he’ll think of you. Have you ever cleaned your room and found an old movie stub or small item and had memories rush back? It’s amazing what a tiny item can do. Make a point of leaving a small memento behind in your man’s car or house. When he sees that earring or hair clip, you’ll come to mind, and he’ll want to see you that much more. DO NOT leave behind a toothbrush or other items that are of an intimate nature because this will surely cause him to panic. Think cute when it comes leaving a little piece of you at his place and he won’t be able to take his mind off of you.

Guy, yeah it might be easier if you just avoid the situation. Everything’s easier if you just run away from it. It’s not right though and a very childish way of ending things. There’s something to be said for a bit of honesty. If you ignore the person rather than saying “I’m no longer interested” it shows that you’re not honest. It says more about you than it does about the girl who you’ve just left out of the blue. Been out with a few guys who for some reason or another have realised that it’s not what they want and they were honest about it. Didn’t like it because I really liked them so was a bit hurt but I got over it eventually.
So I m a gay guy who is in love with of course another guy. we were doing so good and things happened and then he broke up with me. no, he never did ask for space. he told me that he had fallen for someone else and he was happy. ofcouse I chased him around begging to take me back and reminded him of how much I love him. oh and he lived in a different country, we met on social media. I flew over to see him. since then I have flown multiple times to see him because he asked me to go see him. he says he doesn’t want to loose me but does not seem to want to talk to me. when I call him. he does not pick up. sometime he talks to me. but most of the time. I believe he just ignores me. I don’t know what to do….. the sad part is I am madly in love with him… do I just not contact him at all? why does ppl that actually love gets hurt all the time. I don’t think I have ever been treated special by any of my partner except for him. he was so sweet to me. I guess the distance got the best of us. but is it really over? I don’t understand it. and I am sorry, if I am offending other readers. I have no where to go or talk to but to ask for help here. thank you for reading.
I have been with this boy for almost two years now. I may be judged for putting this out as right now I am 13 going on 14 but I can tell you we have an accual relationship as all adults do. Some things are different of course but the fact that we have been almost two years strong should tell you something. I have been upset lately because I’ve been dealing and doing these things to my boyfriend and this has crossed my mind and I came here for help so I am going to try this out. I hope I can recive some positive comments back of support and advise. Please no judgement for my age. I can honestly tell you, my parents fight and have a less mature relationship at times then we do. I only seek support and advise. Thank you.
my fiance is going off to basic training, he leaves a few hours after i'm writing this for 4 months. iv'e already cried my eyes out to the point my head hurts. he is not going to have his phone for maybe two months, by that point ill be back in school after the summer ends. i am so scared of the space that will be between us. i know that he will be away doing things to better our future but it really hurts and he hasn't left yet, we don't live together yet because we don't have the money for an apartment. we just said the last goodnight we could for a long time. i miss him so much and he isn't even two states away yet... i'm going to be spending my birthday alone for the first time in a long time. all my friends have too much going on, and my family doesn't care. he will have left 6 days before my birthday. this is going to be a hard one and i'm positive that i will cry a lot. at least now i can work on getting ahead in school.
What is your advice with my next step? I’ve given myself a week away from him because of exams anyway and time to gather my thoughts. Should I bother bringing it up again, should I stop sleeping with him or should I keep sleeping with him in the hope that he will give me what I want eventually? I guess where I’m confused is that if I stop sleeping with him… he may see me as needy and full on considering it’s only 3 months in. But at the same time I don’t want to keep sleeping with him if it is just going to hurt me and he will never give me what I want.

In 2018, the third year of Hack Spirit, I poured thousands of hours and considerable resources into creating these articles. It's a labor of love and remains free thanks to your patronage. If you found any value in these articles, please consider supporting what I do with a donation. Your support is what helps me to continue creating more Hack Spirit articles. To make a donation, select the amount and click the "donate" button below.

3. Don’t give him all the “girlfriend privileges” before he’s calling you his girlfriend. This includes sleepovers (whether you have sex or not) and having sex. The reason you have to be careful not to give a guy you’re dating “girlfriend privileges” before you’re in a committed relationship is because he’s going to think to himself, “Why should I be in a committed relationship if I can get all the things I want while still being single?!” There’s nothing worse than a man who gets girlfriend privileges without having to take boyfriend responsibility. Chew on that one for a while and make a conscious choice about how you want to proceed. If you need to reference the old school phrase “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” well then, reference away. When it comes to committing to women, men report that it absolutely has to be the right woman at the right time. But if you can help him realize why he would want to commit to you by associating the utmost pleasure and positive feelings with a relationship, you’ll be headed in the right direction.
In my situation, I’ve been seeing the same guy off and on for the past 2 years. We didn’t talk all summer. We started talking and seeing each other again the first week of September up until 4 days ago I guess. The last time I saw him, I had spent a night with him, I dressed in lacy lingerie, garters and nylons cause he loves that kind of thing, he kept telling me how gorgeous and beautiful I was. He kissed me passionately, and this is odd because he doesn’t kiss on the mouth ever. He told me he had so much fun, and it was a great night. I left and haven’t heard from him since and it’s been 4 days now. I’ve texted a couple times and haven’t gotten a response which is odd. We always have a lot of fun together, we get along great, the past 7 weeks have been the best in all of the 2 years we’ve known each other. After a very passionate, great night, he drops off the face of the earth. Any ideas what could be going on with him?
Whether or not you and your partner get together again after you’ve given them space or not, it is a sign that your partner could do it again to you at any point and becomes so overwhelmed in their emotions that they can’t handle expressing it to you. There are cases where perhaps you’ve been spending too much time together and/or you’ve become a bit too dependent on the person, but this shouldn’t be a good enough reason to not contact someone for a few days. Nor is when something happens in their life. Unless that situation is explained, and the person can understand then that’s fine.
I just broke up with my bf, I am from Asian and he is from Germany, I met him online, he is 8 years older than me , I am 29, I had been dating him for 2 months, but we had kinda 4 breakups already, always for the same issue…I doubt his love to me and he didnt have enough time for me , mainly he didn’t text me much, and did’t reply my text well either, it took him hours to reply my text and he a lot of times ignore what I said if i was saying some expressions or complaints…
It's like with dogs or children — you stick to your guns and you politely, patiently repeat the boundaries until they respect them. He gets it or he gets lost. Period. If you truly start to follow this theory, he'll feel how serious you are about being respected, and if he's at all serious about you, he'll get aboard the good boy train very fast. He'll know that if he doesn't, he'll be left at the station!
×