So me and my were long distance. Not too far away from each other tho, about 4 hours. I had just accepted a job in the city he lives in and was all set for moving down and four days later he broke up with me. We both had our fair share of emotional baggage, which i didn’t think affected our relationship that much. His ex was mentally abusive towards him and he didn’t seek any counselling after it ended and we got together 4 months later. I was worried about his behaviour that I looked at his phone to see if there was something going on but I found nothing. I admitted it to him though cause I didn’t want their to be any lies in the relationship and he didn’t seem bothered. But obviously he was. He kept it hidden for months instead of shouting at me, which I would have accepted. We both did wrong in some ways, he wasn’t good with communicating before I looked at his phone. But I do feel like this isn’t over in some way.
My bf and I broke up because he cheated and I couldn’t take the painful thoughts of him with another girl anymore. We were on and off after the breakup until we finally agreed on not talking. However, he messaged me to see how I’m doing and I didn’t answer because I see the people hes hanging out with and I do not like them at all. I always hated it when he surrounded himself with those people and I still do. But I’m in alot of pain because I really wanted him to be the one, I planned our future and everything and I know that he can still become a better person. His parents raised him right, he just always goes into the wrong influences. I dont know whether I should answer his message or not.
Maybe he’s super attentive and into you one minute and the next he can’t be bothered. This can feel jarring. Consistency is comforting, but people aren’t always consistent, and routines can change with circumstances. Those circumstances could be work-related or he could be having family issues, and these aren’t necessarily things he’ll want to talk about.
I don’t want to be told to move on from him. However I feel in relation to that is going to be a natural thing, and right now I do not want to move on from him because I want to be with him so badly. I want to continue improving myself, but I need advice on how to interpret how he’s feeling and how to handle how anxious I get about what he’s doing and why he doesn’t contact me much. Oh, and one more thing … he has said that there’s always a chance for us to get back together, and in relation to the no expectations thing, he said he’s not going to think one way or the other.
Guys don’t know exactly what it is, but suddenly their instincts are telling them to get away. This usually occurs at the point where the woman could no longer keep the act up. Maybe she’s trying to appear cool and go-with-the-flow, but in her mind she’s already thinking of ways to turn a relationship that’s really nothing at this point into something. From that point forward, it’s not easygoing and natural, it’s her measuring if she is getting closer or further from her goal.
First off… Why are you starting off your conversation by saying if he needs me to do things for him. You do them? It should be the other way around. A man should cherish you and should chase you. You shouldn’t be chasing him. A real man would never let a woman chase him. We are good at letting men chase us before we get attached. Once we become attached we become pathetic little puppies. You need to unattach yourself from him. Show him you don’t need him to live your life. Before you met him you were perfectly fine. Also if someone cares about you they would not leave you high and dry like that and drop off the face of the earth.
The best thing about being in love is that you get to share your life with somebody you care about. Being in a relationship itself is all about depending on each other – but things can take a frustrating turn if one of the partners becomes needy. Would you like it if you had a possessive boyfriend to deal with? Assuming the answer is no, if you find yourself heavily depending on your guy for just about everything, you should take a time out and give your relationship a fresh twist. Show him that you are an independent person just like him, who can get things done in the same way, if not better.
Everyone has their own opinions of what should and shouldn't be done in a relationship, but not everyone can afford professional counselling to solve their relationship issues and rely on sorting it out themselves. The only issue here is that everyone is worried about reaching out to their families and friends for support on their issues, and they tend to not get them resolved resulting in the relationship ending.
Me (34y) and my boyfriend (37y) went on a break after a 2y relationship , the first year was almost long distance ( 4-5h drive). We have been through arguments for the last months and I was expecting him a marriage proposal since I had mentioned my goal of dating and he has told he has been looking for the same thing. within these 2 years I have visited his relatives and hanging out with our friends and my family ( his parents are not in the same country). in our last conversation about a month ago and before the break, he said our intimacy and closeness has become less than it used to be and this makes him worried about the future life. after we agreed to go on a break over a text, we did not argue about the time and any rules. after a week I asked him to talk over the phone and suggesting that we can work on our relationship and ask help from couple therapists. He agreed somehow but also told he needs to think more. after 2 weeks and not hearing from him, I texted him and suggesting an end date. he told he would call me within a week but he did not. He texted me back and apologized and asked that he needed more days. I am confused and do not know what to do. I am surprised that he does not miss me? if we were in an argument or not a happy condition, he would have never stopped texting me before. it has been now a month of break and I just had texted him a couple of times within the first 2 weeks. I understand that he needs the space and need to work on his decisions. his birthday would be in a couple of days and I do not know what to do and I can not predict our future and if it is really a break our a breakup!
Knew this guy in middle school he was in love with me.. lost touch and about 2 months we started talking. But I always have to call him.think he called me twice so far including returned phone calls. And he always dose the talking always when i talk its interruptred are non responcive. ButTalked daily and decided to meet briefly about two weeks ago. We talked for a about 15 20 min.then it went real fast real quick. I said no a few times before I just gave in. Now its we talk every other day to maybe once a week. He’s said a few times about going out before sex and once after but includes that we should end that date with sex. I have asked him where he stands after we had sex the next day made it clear that was not like me and that it was to soon. He said it was built up and he agrees it was soon. Says he is content with his life but then says if he didn’t want to talk to me he’d say so……..I feel like I f***ed up by haven sex to soon and all he wants is ass now. What do u think
In this type of situation usually, the man will go back to the wife especially if there are kids involved because it is easier financially. As you know these relationships are not healthy and you do not deserve to be the other woman. You have more to offer than just being that. Even though he showered you with love and affection that is not enough. I believe what you should do moving forward is take a break and focus on you and see if he makes a move to file for divorce and be with you. Please feel free to reach out to me for a private session if you would like some guidance. I am here for you! 🙂
I kind of agree with both of you. I get what you mean with your post, Eric, some women just force into a relationship with a person who will never commit simply because he just does not feel the same way about her, and still she tries to push him. But I also agree that we sometimes, being more mature, I don’t know, have to act like if it was a game, knowing the right moves and words because otherwise the guy will freak out and just leave. I’m with a guy for 6 months now and he still is not sure if I’m “the one”, although we always have an amazing time when we’re together. Maybe he’s afraid to lose his freedom, or that I’ll be all jealous and stuff, but it’s very hard to pretend that I’m ok with this situation when all I wanted was a serious and honest conversation, but I have tried that in the past and he thought I was pressing him.
"...in examining women's marital quality and men's emotional investments in marriage, we find that dyadic commitment to institutional ideals about marriage and women's contentment with the division of household tasks are more critical. We also show that men's marital emotion work is a very important determinant of women's marital quality. We conclude by noting that "her" marriage is happiest when it combines elements of the new and old: that is, gender equity and normative commitment to the institution of marriage."1
It’s especially important you avoid sex in the beginning months because players WILL take a hike. For those guys, there is easier “prey” out there and they will avoid you if they sense you’re going to make them wait. Force him to learn who you are. Then after the first sexual encounter, make him work doubly hard for the second. It only escalates until he commits.
Hello, gud evening thanks for ur advice. My ex told me he do not want the relationship again that i should go, later he said i should give him space, i cried and begged him for two weeks after calling and texting him with no reply, i called his mom and message some of his friends and brother to help me beg him. After calling his mom, she called him and talk to him then he got pissed off and said he doesn’t want again that i should go. Then i finally agree to let him be, but the truth is that i still miss him and i still call him and message him on facebook which he sometimes reply and sometime pick my call. After reading the step now, i want to know if i should stop calling him and texting him?
Men who do this have an avoidant attachment style. Read ‘Attached’ by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller and ‘avoidant, bad boyfriends’ by Jeb Kinnison. After reading these I realised that I had been unhappily married for over twenty years to an avoidant man who ultimately cheated on me and left me. I’ve since met a man with a secure attachment style and the difference is night and day. DO NOT MARRY a man with an avoidant attachment style you will be miserable.
To do it, don’t call and let him know you are going to be late. Instead, wait about 30 to 45 minutes after you are supposed to be home to send him a message that you are running late at work, or in traffic, or wherever you are. That will be enough time to make him start to wonder where you are and think about you, but not too much time where it will seem rude that you didn’t bother to let him know what was going on.
Answer: If he’s feeling low about himself, then the last thing you want to do is make him feel even worse by being upset all the time. The only thing you can do is to hang on, try to boost his confidence, and encourage him to follow this dreams. Being supportive will help him to feel accomplished and will let him know that you are happy with him and have all that you could need. [Read: 12 common male insecurities that women don’t realize]