When you show a guy that you are a giver and self-less person, he’s going to love you more. Taking the time to help others, says a lot about you. When you volunteer your time at the local hospital, to help collect donations for cancer, or to feed the homeless at Christmas time, you’re showing your guy what a great catch you are. He can’t help but love you more for this.
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I experienced this just recently with my man as he was really stressed out with work and started being distant. I backed off and did not call or text him. I started letting him do all the work and it only took about a week for him to miss me like crazy. He even said he didn’t know what had come over him but he couldn’t stop thinking about me all day. In that time, I started a new workout and got busy. He loved that and now he’s giving me all this attention again. Don’t be scared to give your man space ladies and do you. It’s healthy and helps you to take better care of you too.
In order to have this guy tripping over himself to make you his girlfriend, you need to take the attention away from him and focus on yourself. Stop going out of your way to make him happy, don’t cancel plans just to spend time with him, and don’t always be so available to him. Catering to all of his needs will make you look like a pushover and a doormat, and no guy is attracted to that!

Additional point is definitely if someone’s ready to spice up the sex life. This means that he can be sure that you will put some effort in keeping sex creative and fantastic. You should definitely expect this from him, but he needs to know that when the time comes to do something different, you will take initiative. You don’t need to go 50 Shades of Grey on him, but start by experimenting with moves you like and indulging your fantasies.

I’m kind of having the same problem but I’ve given him like 3 months of space should I keep waiting I want to waste all my time waiting on him but I really really like him even lives in Canada and I live in FL we wanted to make it work and eventually move closer to where the other is but then after a very close father figure passed away he started distancing himself more and more we’ve known eachother for 3 almost 4 years :(
Next, consider the situation in full. You need to look at all of these signs and not just a single one of them. If he’s not paying as much attention to you when you talk and it feels like he’s just not listening … but he’s still initiating just as much and responding to all of your texts, then you need to consider the possibility that he’s distracted for some reason that has nothing to do with you. Maybe he’s not feeling well or maybe he has something on his mind.
After 4 years my boyfriend broke up with me via text. We were friends before dating and he is my best friend. I asked if we could talk and he agreed. He texted he loved me and said we would find a time to talk the following week. I haven’t heard from him since he was checking texts (I did text as I thought we were going to talk) but has blocked me now. He still has some personal items of mine that I can’t imagine he is keeping if he doesn’t want to contact me. I am heartbroken. This happened approximately 2 months ago and I am on 19 days of no contact which is killing me. I honestly think he might be seeing someone else but I don’t know that for sure. I miss my best friend above anything else. I have never been in a state of despair as I am over this.
Hello well .. This guy has Been pursuing me for almost 3yrs. We were intimate, spent all of our time together. He does for me, we go out in public. We talked about marriage and kids together everthing.. He knew that i wasnt emotionally ready at the time yet he assured me it was safe to open up and be kind…Then when i finally do and say lets do this he tells me no and starts to pull away… Now he says he not ready and not intrested anymore…what happened?
It sounds like he only wants this to be a friends with benefits relationship. While it seems like he has developed some feelings over the years, he does not want it to be anything more. He has had plenty of time to officially date you if he wanted to, and he hasn’t. As long as you are okay with a friends with benefits relationship, continue seeing him. If you want something more out of a relationship, then you should probably end things with him and move on.
Hey Adam I slept with a guy too soon and have been sleeping with him I don’t feel like he’s looking for anything serious cause he said he wants to take things slow after it all happened. I know he sees other women he told me he likes me an sees himself with me but not right now because he said he doesn’t think it will take much for us to get in a relationship so he wants to let more time pass he invited me to go on vacation with him I don’t know what any of this means really I tried to have an open talk with him about it by saying it’s okay tell me if you don’t want anything serious we can just end it now cause I don’t want to get hurt but he still claims he wants to be with me just not right away what do you think ? Should I run?
"Throw us a bone. We all know that men often think they know more about something than they really may. It's in our chemical makeup. Sometimes you just have to let us set the tent up wrong when camping or take three hours to change your oilfor a lot of us, it's how we both try to impress you and show you we care. Sometimes you've got to let a guy be a guyeven if we're goofing up." Blake S.
Natalie, I have just seen your text, I am not sure how it went since December but the best to do in this case (always), I know that it`s really hard, because you can`t focus on something else but him. You have to disappear, so he will release you are not taken for granted to him. Men can say anything but they get crazy about when the women is doing the same thing or even worst :). He has too feel that he missing you, and beside that focus on your own life and on yourself, the happiness should come from yourself and not from him or any other person. Just step back and see what happens, he will be eager to be the same as before believe me ;) and success!
i have been dating this guy for almost six months now, we have not started having sex, because i told him i am not ready we have talked about it and he agreed. But of late i feel he is pulling away, sometimes he will not call or text me unless if i call him or text him first, he is always postponing our dates and its like he does not want to see me, when i ask him he says he is just busy with work or he could not call me because he had no credit in his phone, i don’t really know what to do? should i just leave him alone or i continue calling or texting him first all the time…, does it mean he has lost interest in me? please help ,
I really love him. I just want to hear from him. Some of the reasonings we broke up include he felt unappreciated, he wasn’t “getting” happy, he’s bored with the relationship because all we do is sit around, which I immediately told him that’s not fair and I always try to get him to do things and said I know. But a few more reasons he’s told me, he wants to be around someone positive, and I’ll admit I haven’t been in the best shape lately. I lost my job, I’ve been going through family issues, and friend issues. I always am first to tell him everything. I can understand why this is what could push him away. He is a very easy go free kind of guy. He also told me “I’m not what he wants in a girlfriend” of course all these words hurt. I think about everything he’s said and it hurts. Do I believe them? Slightly.
3.5 years ago he was my friend.we have 100s of mutual friend from school.We shared every thing we eat everyday how close friend we were.we met sometimes.I falled in love with him after 3 months of friendship.I felt so much pain inside because of insecurity because he did not know i am in love.After many thought oneday i told him that I am in love with u so badly.That day he said “Dont misunderstand me.I never said I love u.This is my last and final message to u.” Then he blocked me from every social media.

Maybe, what you need is to stop thinking about how long you’d have to wait for him to want to see you more and focus on yourself first. I know its difficult to stop. But I think what you need is to gently nudge him and tell him that you want to see him more often, but that you won’t wait around for him forever if he keeps up his slow reaction time to your needs. Men don’t understand what we women want from them sometimes unless they’re relationship experts so I suggest you give your guy a little unobtrusive push. :)
I was seeing this guy for 6 months, from the beginning he told me not to get attached (he had just come out of a long term serious relationship few months before after being cheated on, so didn’t trust) I respected this as I was in a similar situation. Tho saying this we met every other weekend (was usually him that asked), texted everyday, went out on amazing dates, met each others families, he treated me like a proper gentleman should. He told me a few times during these months he was fond of me and where I’d been all his life, wrote me poems telling me how amazing i was and i brought his smile back etc. I fell for him completely. Then the last time I saw him, we were talking and he brought up the attachment thing, i was taken aback obviously after how he had been treating me, and i told him honestly that i had feelings for him (even tho i have never hid my feeling towards him, everyone knew how i felt) and for the same reasons I thought he felt the same way, the way he treated me (and around friends and family) the way he looked into my eyes etc. A month went by with continuous texting like normal then out of nowhere he sends me a poem, saying how he is worthless and nothing to no one, and how I’m better than words could ever say and i deserve better etc and before i could reply back to him he blocked me. It’s been just over a month now and I haven’t heard a word from him, our mutual friend asked him why and he replied back to her that he is scared to love again. I’m heartbroken. Do you think this is the only reason? And do you think I will ever hear from him again?
I’ve loved reading your articles and they’ve really helped me recognize what’s been tickling the corner of my self-awareness lately about my self-worth being directly related to why I always end up dating people that don’t treat me well and are emotionally unavailable. The one thing that I’m trying to figure out in this article and in my current situation is – how do you discern between a relationship (casual or exclusive) ending due to the other person being emotionally unavailable vs. being emotionally available and being turned off by your insecurities? At the end of the day, I recognize that both are directly related to my lack of self-love and that is what needs to be fixed, but in the former case, if I had previously fixed this it would have resulted in me ending the relationship as soon as I recognized the other person was emotionally unavailable/disrespecting me and in the latter it seems like the relationship would have had a chance at working out. I feel like it’s much easier to forgive myself for not holding boundaries and walking away when I knew I should have than for literally being the reason something potentially great didn’t work out..
#4 He is attracted to someone else. If nothing happened and he is suddenly pulling away, then it may be that he is attracted to someone else. If he is thinking about being with another woman, he may be trying to find a way out of the relationship. If you notice that his habits are changing, he is no longer interested in sex, or if he becomes more secretive and rarely spends time with you, then he may have found someone else.
Well I’m here cause just last night my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me..he cheated on me in the past and just kelp denies that he did..it was a dark cloud hanging over our relationship every since then ..cause I couldn’t trust him no more..I was quite about it ..then last Wednesday he told me im going to a female friend house to put up her tree and some other stuff ill be back in a couple days! I couldn’t believe it..who puts up a tree 3 days before Christmas? I didn’t her from him for 8 days then last night he called and Tex me he was done with me cause I didn’t trust him!

Go out with friends and tell him about it. Start having nights out with your friends instead of date nights, and then tell your guy all about how much fun you had. He will probably be happy for you, but he’ll also be a bit jealous of how much fun you can have without him. If you spend a couple weekends having fun with friends, you’re guy will soon start to miss being the person that's having fun with you.
Guys are going to naturally cycle between wanting intimacy and wanting independence. Trying to guess the reason is impossible – some guys want space to reflect on the relationship, some (insecure) guys want space because their friends make fun of them for being “too whipped”, some guys want space because they need time alone to clear their heads and gain clarity in life.
If you’ve gotten yourself to the point where you’re ready for you guy to commit, but he just won’t budge, the two of you have probably discussed your relationship status ad nauseam. As of right now, bringing up your desire to be in a relationship won’t do you any good. He knows that you want to strip him of his “single” status and every time you bring it up, he pulls further and further away from you. So what’s a girl to do?
Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”
This means that you should remain not only to be his girl but also his partner in crime. Doing adventurous things together is also vital to keep a relationship alive. You can open yourself to trying new things in the bedroom, if you have a low sex drive try to remedy it with a supplement like Provestra. Remember to be sure to consult your doctor first to see if taking it will not have any adverse effects on your health.
Im seeing this guy on and off for almost two years now. Its just a casual hookup and we dont even talk and see each other much but were friends. I guess that occur to us as normal FWB relationship. Lately, his been pretty persistent to get my attention. Missed calls, txt messages just saying he missed me and whatsoevers. Just recently asked him a “what if question” what will he feel with me having a boyfriend and what he’ll do? He then answered He will be hurt…(long pause) he still txt me anyway and hope ill still txt him back.
The best thing about being in love is that you get to share your life with somebody you care about. Being in a relationship itself is all about depending on each other – but things can take a frustrating turn if one of the partners becomes needy. Would you like it if you had a possessive boyfriend to deal with? Assuming the answer is no, if you find yourself heavily depending on your guy for just about everything, you should take a time out and give your relationship a fresh twist. Show him that you are an independent person just like him, who can get things done in the same way, if not better.
If going no contact is just a little too harsh, or you don’t think you can pull it off for 30-60 days, you can try another method to get your ex to miss you. After a breakup, it’s normal to want to hear from your ex, and you may be sitting by the phone waiting for him to call or text you. If you’re responding to all of his messages within a nanosecond, you’re not even giving the guy the opportunity to miss you. You’re far too available, and this sends off a message to your ex that you'll be right there waiting for him at all hours of the day. So instead of being so eager, back off a little bit and let his text message sit in your inbox for a few hours before responding. Some may call this game playing, but we think it’s the perfect recipe to get your ex to miss you! He’ll wonder why you’re no longer so quick to respond to him, and it will definitely make him miss hearing from you.
There’s a huge difference between being interested in the person you’re with and being obsessive/clingy. If you’re sending him 100 text messages a day asking where he’s at or why he’s not answering you, trying to see him every minute of every day, or going overboard to show him how much you care about when the relationship is fairly new, you might be pushing him away from you. Men don’t want a clingy lady. They want a woman who is secure and independent but still shows that she cares in a subtle and sensual way.

He may be interested in developing a relationship with you. He may also realize that he is not ready to enter into a committed relationship with someone that he cares for. Continue to remain his friend, but realize that he may be at a different point in his life that you are. When people are drunk, they are much more likely to act in a flirtatious or intimate manner. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Best of luck, Vicki!
Recently he saw that I had written “your peeps are creative” to someone’s group Halloween photo. He freaked out and said I was hitting on other men. When I tried to hug him to calm him down, he pushed me off. He then deleted all my photos from his IG and FB. That same night his sister in law called and asked if he and I broke up. I told her what happened and she went and did a blast text message to his entire family about him being an abuser. She said she is purposely pushing me out for my own good.
I noticed he started to like me more and more, as he went from random every 2 days texts at the beginning to every day texts and 2 times a week calls and skype, from his side! and sending me pics of what he was doing so he become very devoted and i reciprocated too 🙂 it was great though we missed each other very much. in the “break up” he was just soooo negative about us,and thinking that we dont have future because he was afraid to fail me, like WTF! he was all about the plans! he was giving really like really silly excuses once we sat and talk.

The problem with making yourself too "available" when he's playing hot and pretending not to notice when he's playing cold is, you've made it clear you're going to be sticking around no matter what. Unfortunately, this means he feels confident continuing this behavior because he knows there won't be any consequences. You will be there when he wants, and he can ignore you when he doesn't.
Trust me, your friends, your co-workers, your lab partner, your neighbor, and your barista at Starbucks are all sick and tired of hearing about this guy. And deep down inside, you’re probably a little bit tired of talking about him, too. When you focus so much of your attention on one person, you can slowly drive yourself insane. You’ll be constantly thinking about him, replaying your last conversation over and over again in your mind, wondering what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with, and wondering if he’s thinking about you at that exact moment. It’s not healthy, and it definitely won’t get you any closer to being in a relationship.
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