Last thing he remembers was that he was talking to a good friend which happens to be you.  Suddenly there are feelings arising that moving beyond simple friendship.  These may be feelings that he was not anticipating exploring and not ready for.  In this case the answer to “why do men pull away after getting close” would be in-order to take an assessment of the entire relationship and decide what to do about these new found feelings.
They want a woman who answers questions honestly, and perhaps even volunteers information. They want a woman who confidently asks for her wants and needs to be met. They want a woman who can see the truth and tell it like it is while communicating with kindness. Men want a woman who can communicate without being too critical, and who cares about preserving his and her dignity. Women think men want them to be superficial, to keep quiet about their needs or wants, and never to ask for anything. Women think men believe them to be too needy and too sensitive, and that men simply want women to get over it. Some women believe they do not have the permission to tell it like it is, that they will be rejected for speaking up.
This man is clearly into you, romantically, emotionally, physically, and intellectually. He’s making that clear with his words and actions. He is making an effort to connect, to spend time with you, and is public with his interest and affection. I think you are getting in your own way. It sounds like you need to re-evaluate your expectations of what love/attraction/romance should look like . You say:
My bf and I broke up because he cheated and I couldn’t take the painful thoughts of him with another girl anymore. We were on and off after the breakup until we finally agreed on not talking. However, he messaged me to see how I’m doing and I didn’t answer because I see the people hes hanging out with and I do not like them at all. I always hated it when he surrounded himself with those people and I still do. But I’m in alot of pain because I really wanted him to be the one, I planned our future and everything and I know that he can still become a better person. His parents raised him right, he just always goes into the wrong influences. I dont know whether I should answer his message or not.
    "[I]n a nationally representative sample of 19,131 respondents who married between 2005 and 2012, results indicate that more than one-third of marriages in America now begin on-line. In addition, marriages that began on-line, when compared with those that began through traditional off-line venues, were slightly less likely to result in a marital break-up (separation or divorce) and were associated with slightly higher marital satisfaction among those respondents who remained married."4
I always end up missing my boyfriend, we see each other at school but when we depart, especially on the weekends, I always end up missing him, I always would end up spam messaging him unintentionally and constantly messaging him since he's always busy and we rarely text often. I'll learn not to do that anymore, I also taught myself to stop thinking of him constantly to where it would stop me from doing my work. All I know is that I will see him again and he will text me back soon... I do love him, but I have to try keeping it healthy for us.
While it is a good idea to talk things through if you want to define what your relationship is, you should go easy on placing labels. Putting pressure early on to what you have, even if it is something special could lead to its premature death. Instead look out for signs that you are going steady like seeing each other exclusively, being updated with each other’s activities, and getting to know someone’s friends and family.
You should investigate whether he is not being loving or interested, or if he’s just not doing that in the way that you expect or are used to. You may have unspoken expectations or fantasies of what a relationship should look like, and your projections are getting in the way of appreciating the good relationship you actually have. It sounds like you might have different love languages as well, where you need a lot of verbal affirmation and maybe that’s not his strong suit. That is something you can discuss with him and ask for more of. You can tell him what’s working for you and what’s not, or that you’re unsure whether he’s into you romantically despite all the evidence, and try to hear and understand where he is coming from.
In short, when you see that your crush or boyfriend is pulling away, you pull away too. Do not contact him. Concentrate on your own growth, reflect on what you’ve learned from the dynamics of the relationship and move forward with your personal goals. Be clear about your expectations and your needs. If they aren’t met, then move on and see if he’ll ever come around… Because if he doesn’t, I am sure someone else will!
Hey there. If I may, I’d like to say that we are currently in a similar situation with the ‘ex-guy-comes-back-and-the-two-of-us-starts-dating-again.’ And I can understand the emotional roller coaster you are going through and the feeling of tiredness is not new to me most particularly since I am in my last year of getting my law degree. The stress arising from thinking about his slow reaction time to my texts, and the fact that we seldom go out together are driving me up against the wall. And so I finally but gently told him that I was seriously exhausted, not just because of him, and that I needed to focus on myself first so I was implying that I would be leaving him out there for awhile while I do my own thing.
So I was seeing a really awesome guy for a little bit. We met through mutual friends and we really hit it off…but then he started to get busy with life, which is understandable, it happens to us all…we would always make plans to see each other but something would always come up to where he couldn’t make it. Then I get a random text how he has too much going on and he won’t be able to give me the time I deserve and how he’s upset about the whole situation because he can’t make it right and that I’m one of the most radiant things to walk into his life. I told him that I understand that life gets crazy and I’d be willing to do whatever it took to make it work and how happy I was since we met…I haven’t heard from him since…what should I do?!? Like give him some time and hope that he will call me? Or just try to move on? I don’t understand why all of a sudden I get pushed away and I’m unaware if I did anything wrong…I’ve been trying to wrap my brain around it but I get no where but sadness…
You begin interacting with the thoughts in your head rather than with the person in front of you. Rather than trying to learn who he is and what he’s about, you look at his behavior and the things he says as a means to measure how he feels about you… and whether you’re getting closer or further away from your goal of having a relationship with him.
It’s tough for someone to nail down to source of feeling not OK, but they unconsciously latch onto things that will get rid of this feeling, usually through reassurance or trying to make situations come about that they feel will make them happy and finally grant them relief. This inevitably impacts your vibe, you become a parasite of sorts and everyone you come into contact with is simply a means to an end.
My ex broke up with me beacuse of silly reasons because she was afraid that I might hurt her in the future(she’s very sensitive). I tried many things to get her back and she always said no which made me frustrated. Therefore I said to her that I don’t want to watch your face anymore. We haven’t talked since then. But sometimes she looks at me when I’m not looking and I can tell she still loves me. Is there any way that we can get back together.
Hi, I am a 61 year old widow and dating a 62 year old man for going on 2 years now, he has never been married or in a serious relationship for any length of time before. He tells me randomly that he loves me and we spend almost all our time together. He is hesitant to move in with me because he says he wants to be 100% sure of his feelings. He says that sometimes he doesn’t feel love or attraction and then other times he does. He hasn’t been with anyone else since we met and we are neighbors and friends and enjoy doing multiple things together. I am trying not to push too hard because I have the feeling he does love me and maybe this will go somewhere. Other times, I doubt his love for me because he doesn’t just come out and make a commitment to me. Am I being too needy in wanting a commitment and him to move in with me after almost 2 years of dating? What advice would you give me in regards to this relationship? I have met his entire family and we spend holidays together with them and I get along great with them. He asks my advice on things and shares details of his past life and relationships and mistakes he has made in life. He also shares all his goals and dreams with me and asks me to help him make decisions on things because he has a hard time making decisions on things. I don’t want to hang on if there will never be love but at the same time I don’t want to let go of something good because he does treat me with respect and will randomly say I love you and is always hugging me and kissing me and doesn’t only demand sex out of the relationship.
So I was seeing a really awesome guy for a little bit. We met through mutual friends and we really hit it off…but then he started to get busy with life, which is understandable, it happens to us all…we would always make plans to see each other but something would always come up to where he couldn’t make it. Then I get a random text how he has too much going on and he won’t be able to give me the time I deserve and how he’s upset about the whole situation because he can’t make it right and that I’m one of the most radiant things to walk into his life. I told him that I understand that life gets crazy and I’d be willing to do whatever it took to make it work and how happy I was since we met…I haven’t heard from him since…what should I do?!? Like give him some time and hope that he will call me? Or just try to move on? I don’t understand why all of a sudden I get pushed away and I’m unaware if I did anything wrong…I’ve been trying to wrap my brain around it but I get no where but sadness…

We’ve been together for 7 months but I broke up with him 5 days ago, I did it before but I begged him to take me back instantly, this time I’m not gonna beg or talk to him because I know he took me for granted and I don’t want that. He didn’t even read my break up message yet.. how will I know if he misses me when he naturally doesn’t text very fast (which is the reason for our break up) and not on social media much + there is no contact between us??
Build some intrigue into your schedule that keeps him wanting more. Wait a few minutes to text back, or if they ask if you're free Tuesday, say that you have other plans but you'd love to meet up on Wednesday. This helps them to realize that your time is valuable and that they'll have to go out of their way to see you. Just remember: No one likes playing games. "Don't move dates around too much—that can get frustrating for someone who also has a busy schedule like you," Trespicio says. 
Now, what’s happening in your body when you picture a man pulling away and going further off into the distance? Can you FEEL your body wanting to lean forward and doing anything you can to stop him from going away? This “leaning forward” urgency is what causes a man to feel pressured and cornered. That’s why you need to STOP it by doing the opposite: leaning BACK.
Sometimes the relationship started out well and then over time disintegrated into something that resembles resentment and abuse rather than love or respect.  Sometimes the relationship was never good to begin with, but the woman wants me to show her “relationship magic” to “make it work.”  This is what I equate to trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. (If this situation sounds familiar to you, be sure to read this article on Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship.)
Anyway, while at the birthday party, he was asking me what I was doing later, even though I wasn’t doing anything. He left once it ended saying he was going over to his friend’s house. I had sent him a picture of a dog I was watching that he made a joke about, but he didn’t respond all night until the next morning, which was brief and he stopped texting after the second message. He texted me today asking for his Comcast information, said thank you, then never responded once I said you’re welcome.
It is a common belief that women are the more complicated party in a relationship. But men are not always simple to understand either! Because men can also be complicated, making them very hard to read. And most of the time, men tend to pull away without giving any reasons. If you are keen to find out more why men pull away, this article is for you. Read on.
I spent 6 years with my ex. We were young when we got together and we weren’t good at resolving conflict. But I truly believe we loved each other and that he is the right person for me. We both had a habit of ‘pulling away’. Push, pull, if it wasn’t him, it was me. By the end of it, it was dramatic. It was traumatic for me and him too because we didn’t know how to work it out. Since then we’ve both tried seeing other people. But somehow after 9 months we ended up back spending time together. Getting to know each other again. We started to get close… I never pressured him to be with me but I do love him. I’ve tried to be a lot more understanding of his space. Even his friends have said – ‘this is the best you guys have ever been’… But then shortly after he told me his friend had commented on our ‘changed friendship’ and how close we were getting, he attacked me saying I was getting too comfortable. I was so confused because he had been asking me to stay over and he said he was enjoying his time hanging out. That’s what we established it was. We’ve never put a label on anything and have been free to live our separate lives because of what we have been through there was no use rushing anything even a friendship. I was happy with that and I thought he was too.
If going no contact is just a little too harsh, or you don’t think you can pull it off for 30-60 days, you can try another method to get your ex to miss you. After a breakup, it’s normal to want to hear from your ex, and you may be sitting by the phone waiting for him to call or text you. If you’re responding to all of his messages within a nanosecond, you’re not even giving the guy the opportunity to miss you. You’re far too available, and this sends off a message to your ex that you'll be right there waiting for him at all hours of the day. So instead of being so eager, back off a little bit and let his text message sit in your inbox for a few hours before responding. Some may call this game playing, but we think it’s the perfect recipe to get your ex to miss you! He’ll wonder why you’re no longer so quick to respond to him, and it will definitely make him miss hearing from you.
Hard to tell what’s the difference between giving him space and receiving cold violence from him. But my opinion is if his not talking to you makes you feel very painful, then there’s no difference between giving him weeks or months of space. Relationships should be more about trying to make both sides happier rather than sad. Try to stay away from toxic people and relationships. Take care of yourself and people who you love and who love you. Go make friends and have fun! Relationship is a necessary for humans, romantic relationships may not. Good luck beautiful babes!
If a guy is still flirting with other women or breaking plans or keeping secrets, your first reaction is probably to yell, argue or guilt him into apologizing. It’s far more effective to simply get bored. Walk away. Stop treating him as if this is a serious date. Because obviously, if he’s not serious enough to focus ALL of his attention on you, he’s just not that exciting.
Hey so I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year now. He’s into a hobby that is good for him because he’s sober. But the thing is is that he seems to be more interested in that than our relationship. Even when I leave him alone for hours he won’t really open or talk to me. I don’t ever pry at him because I don’t want to be annoying. We live together and live well together. We never fight and I’m very open with my stuff. It seems like he’s not interested though about those things. It’s not like I’m dumping problems on him at all, but sometimes it’s nice to vent to someone? I’m also on vacation and he told me that we don’t need to be in constant contact with each other and then won’t reply for hours, so I did just that I distant myself completely . It scares me though because he follows so many girls on social media and in the begging of our relationship he would direct message them nothing bad all platonic, but I talked to him and asked him to stop, but I’m scared that he might be getting that filled by talking to those girls again. All I want is to know how his day is or just to say hey without feeling like a bother. I don’t know what to do honestl. He does his best though I’m not saying it’s bad or anything but he’s so stubborn and when I’m upset about something he usually tells me it’s ok but that’s it he doesn’t really comfort comfort me but other times he tells me to bring it to god and brushes it off and goes on and on and on about his hobby he does. Disregarding anything I said or how I feel. Maybe I’m just reading into it all wrong but I don’t know. Should I not listen to him like he does to me? I communicate with him fairly well and tell him how when he ignores me it bothers me but he doesn’t change it. It seems like he doesn’t care. I don’t know. Help
Relationships are a lot of hard work- there’s no doubt about that. And if your man lacks the basic skills necessary to hold and flourish a meaning relationship, he will more than likely pull away at a moments notice. This might be out of fear of not knowing what to do or doing the wrong thing, immaturity, or simply not knowing what to do from lack of experience with relationships. Whatever the cause, the relationship is bound for failure unless he has basic relationship skills.
Leave him alone. I’ve been there believe me. It hurts and sometimes you can’t help yourself but you need to let go. You deserve a man that wants to be with you. Don’t force it. Do things that make you happy. Something new. Run a marathon, take a self defence course or do something you always wanted to do. You will find a perfectly good man that loves and wants to be with you when you least expect it.
When you’re anxious for a guy to make you his girlfriend, he will be able to smell your desperation from a mile away. This desperation will turn him off, and he will be thinking of a bunch of different ways to get rid of you once and for all. So instead of being needy and clingy, you have to become aloof. If you become less interested in him, he will fight harder to regain your attention, and it will make him want to take things to the next level.
Had a break up of after about 6 years. Nothing horrible just was because of stress and no communication. He was amazing though. He broke up with me and the whole time it seemed I was the one trying to fix things. Suggest options to help us. Basically it didn’t work I was even more sad trying and him not . We kept trying a few things here and there but it didn’t work. It’s just he never suggested anything so idk maybe he really didn’t know. But we eventually ended it all 100%. I’d been trying to have fun not worry or stress and be a better me than I was. Fix things and be happy worry about me. I have met some new friends too buts it’s just friends. If I had a picture of a guys friend on social media with me is that bad? I was not trying to do anything wrong or cause any upset I was just having fun is all, it was just a goofy picture that has an inside story of how I’m ditzy. Hahaa that is all. I’m just making friends and having fun. But is that something I shouldn’t have done? If it was vice versa I’d be upset and wonder but I’d try to not assume something I don’t know unless there are more pictures of that person or it looked like they were together.

You should investigate whether he is not being loving or interested, or if he’s just not doing that in the way that you expect or are used to. You may have unspoken expectations or fantasies of what a relationship should look like, and your projections are getting in the way of appreciating the good relationship you actually have. It sounds like you might have different love languages as well, where you need a lot of verbal affirmation and maybe that’s not his strong suit. That is something you can discuss with him and ask for more of. You can tell him what’s working for you and what’s not, or that you’re unsure whether he’s into you romantically despite all the evidence, and try to hear and understand where he is coming from.
The ironic thing about playing hard to get is that it can work, but it’ll work on the wrong kind of guy. If the only reason he’s into you is that you’re hard to catch, what will you do once he’s caught you? You can’t stay in the limbo phase of the relationship forever. If a guy isn’t interested in the authentic you, playing the enigmatic mystery girl will only work for a brief period of time.
Wow! What a fantastic article! As I was reading through it, I was mentally ticking which of the qualities I already possess or things I’m already doing that are being mentioned in the article. I am very happy to say that in my current relationship, I’m either already doing all 4 things or one of them, I had already thought of doing that yesterday but have to wait until at least tonight to put it into motion. It’s only been 6 months and those have been fraught with obstacles, but so far, we seem to have survived all of them and I’m positive that we will survive the latest devastating thing that has come up just recently.
It’s true, we are naturally attracted to people like ourselves. The more you have in common the better but even more important, you should show him your interest by mirroring him. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve got to wear the same clothes as he does. However you should copy his actions. If he takes a sip of his drink you should do the same. Use the same words he does later in the conversation, and if he holds his hands a certain way you should do the same.
Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.
My fiancé & I had a rough yr because of my work injuries.He stood by me all the way. Once I was awarded $ monthly due to injuries, he shut down. We have a great life, we have enough$ for what we need& want plus we are BFFs. We each make our own way& we know are future will b even better.I was shocked when he asked me for a break 1wk after he acted weird when I tried to get him2open back up2me. Its been 3wks now& in that time we have talked, cried, had sex, laughed and he told me he still loved me& missed me. He texts&calls me daily& says our time together was good&we are a good team. He made a decision to leave me and after several talks about why&what went wrong& lots of different stories from him, he told me “the truth” because I had said none of this makes sense. His ex is rich&she wants him back. Thats what he says now. I know he did go someplace& did things he would normally not do. So it kind of makes sense.He said she still loves him, he went to see if there was something still there amd says he would b a fool not to make it work with her because he can change his life, not just his circumstances. He dumped her 13yrs ago because she was too fat& now with$ and time she isn’t. So for his kids& family he has to make this work. Yet he wont let me go, he has my things all around him, I have keys and access to everything just like before. He says he isn’t with anyone now and I need to let him go. Part of me gets that I am older& how Cuz i threatened to 1 when he told me what was goin on ..not that i would..but he told Mann and they thicker than thick these days.and so he saying he goin to be with her..he wont have to hustle anymore etc..and i think he and Mann looking for house 2 rent together..cuz Mann b at his crib all the time nowcan I compete with $, security&youth..part of me thinks he is lying to just give him space to do what he wants and keep me waiting. What should I do.
Go out with friends and tell him about it. Start having nights out with your friends instead of date nights, and then tell your guy all about how much fun you had. He will probably be happy for you, but he’ll also be a bit jealous of how much fun you can have without him. If you spend a couple weekends having fun with friends, you’re guy will soon start to miss being the person that's having fun with you.
I’ve been in a LDR with a guy over a year. At the beginning, he was interested in me. We had fun together and our conversations was deep. After that, I was unhappy with a little bit time he spent to our relationship so that I emailed him and telling him my true feeling that I was unhappy beacause he didn’t put me in his priority. He told me he was busy with new job, it’s difficult to have space time to talk. How about this: “one of us talk when we have something new or important thing to say…”. I was angry and didn’t contact him anymore. During 8 weeks no contact with him, I miss him so much. I still have strong feeling for him. But he didn’t text, call, email me. I’m feeling bad but I don’t want to lose myself. Truly, I want to get him back but I don’t want to contact him first. What can I do, I really don’t know.
Me and my boyfriend were together for about a year and promised each other the world to each other. Our connection was so strong and nothing stopped us from separating for a while especially since our families come from different cultures and religions. As time went by, we started having problems because of the family issue and he came to terms that it is risky to continue the relationship when we are unsure of the future. I have been doing no contact and it has been two weeks. He still had me on social media and everything. I even posted a few pictures of myself and sporting activities which I know he could see. Once I posted something about a concert that was near his place, he saw it and decided to unfollow me. He still has me on facebook, but I have no idea if that’ll last. He hasn’t reached out once to me since I started no contact. I don’t know what I should do.
I spent 6 years with my ex. We were young when we got together and we weren’t good at resolving conflict. But I truly believe we loved each other and that he is the right person for me. We both had a habit of ‘pulling away’. Push, pull, if it wasn’t him, it was me. By the end of it, it was dramatic. It was traumatic for me and him too because we didn’t know how to work it out. Since then we’ve both tried seeing other people. But somehow after 9 months we ended up back spending time together. Getting to know each other again. We started to get close… I never pressured him to be with me but I do love him. I’ve tried to be a lot more understanding of his space. Even his friends have said – ‘this is the best you guys have ever been’… But then shortly after he told me his friend had commented on our ‘changed friendship’ and how close we were getting, he attacked me saying I was getting too comfortable. I was so confused because he had been asking me to stay over and he said he was enjoying his time hanging out. That’s what we established it was. We’ve never put a label on anything and have been free to live our separate lives because of what we have been through there was no use rushing anything even a friendship. I was happy with that and I thought he was too.
Hi I met dis guy Oct 1st 2015 tru my best friend I didn’t actually liked him at first but into it I began to fall in love with him. We discussed abt it n e promised to love me and b a beta man for me. We loved each other xo much we couldn’t stay without seeing each other. A year after d relationship I noticed e stopped calling n neva replied my messages. If we had any misunderstanding he won’t want to talk about it n e started changing from den. Early January this year I asked him if we were still in a relationship n e broke up with me saying e needed space that I was too possessive. From January till nw have called to beg him or do things like pray n fast but he doesn’t even wants to hear my name he hates me xo much n despite d hate I still love him Ave promised to b beta if e just accepts me back but e calls me desperate n obsessive. I really miss him n I always feel as if my hrt is going to explode. Please I need advice on how to get him back or on how to forget him and move on. Tanks
Im in the current situation right now… He wants space for me being paranoid for past few weeks.. I really dont know wat to do, he is so busy and stressed from work.. He asked for space, i ask him if he is breaking up with me he said no he just need time and space for the meantime… Need your advice please… I dont want us to be apart i really love him..
Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”
It’s been 2 weeks since he broke up with me.and he made very clear that he don’t have any feelings left for me.and even if it does it’s all negativity about me in his mind and he don’t want me in any case.he never tried contacting me.we were together since 2 and half years.its a shocking for me.i love him even after his harsh words.his reason of break up is that we argue a lot and that’s true but I asked him to give me a chance but he isn’t ready .i am not in contact with him but nothing is changing.he seems really over me.its not the 1st time that he broke up with me but whenever he did ..he always initiated contacting me and asking for a chance and when this time I asked for a chance ..he is just not ready to give me. Please tell me what to do to make him come back to me?
Create space between you and him. A guy can’t miss you if you’re always right there for him. A great way to get him to miss you is to create space between the two of you. If you spend every minute of the weekend with him, start carving out time to spend away from him. Spend a Friday night at home alone or with friends instead of hanging out with your man. At first he will probably like the time alone, but if you begin to do this regularly, he’ll start missing you in his arms.
I was with my boyfriend for 6months I found out the whole time he was talking to other woman and he had social media accounts behind my back to do so, we had very good and bad times as well normal stuff and he made me meet his family and him and his family told me I was changing him into a better man and was giving him inspiration to make his life better I’m just so confused I showed him all of the proof I found and we had an incident like that before but this time I had all my proof I sent it in a text message because I was t with him in person and he blocked me from everything it’s been a month now and he hasn’t even contacted me to say sorry or nothing I’m just here left in the dark and so confused 
×