I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in 3 weeks. It seemed he was communicating less and less so I called him and he said he would call me back. He didn’t so the next morning I sent him a text stating it seemed like he wanted to break up so I would let him go. He wrote back that he didn’t want to break up, that his feelings hadn’t changed. That work had just been extremely stressful. He asked if we could get together to talk about it and suggested a day. I wrote him back in agreement I meet and talk. He never wrote back and wouldn’t answer my call. He ghosted me and after a month I unfriended and blocked him on Facebook. I miss him and I’m sure he’s missing me. Or was I played ? What should I do? LEt him go?
We went to America on holiday a week ago and next week he starts his last year of uni.on Tuesday he broke up with me , he said he did want to still have me in his life but needed space as his head isn’t in the right place. We texted a bit but I could tell his mum was controlling it and he asked for space again … I’m meant to help him move into uni and he hasn’t said no to it but he hasn’t messaged me at all since for a whole day, do I just give the space and hope he doesn’t forget about me ? We did so much together we where like two peas in a pod as load of people told us. He’s kept his profile pic and lots of his stuff at mine. Is there still a chance? Was it his mum’s doing of the break up and he will he change when he’s out of the house at uni ? I need help because we love each other and he did say but I’m worried he’s lying or his mum is inflicting this. I just want to text him to remind him I’m here but I’m not sure what to do. Please give some advice

#1 Be fun and easy going. Guys are much less complicated than women, that much is for certain. They like things to be easy going and relaxed. Which means they don’t really want to commit to someone who’s going to add stress to their life. So be easy going and keep things light and fun. He’ll be much more willing to commit. [Read: 10 ways to prove that you’re girlfriend material]
You can do this as a bit of a tease for your boyfriend. In this modern age, it’s so easy to just text or call your loved one. To make your boyfriend miss you, wait for a while to respond to him. Give him some time to yearn for a reply. That will make him miss you and want to talk to you even more. In other case, he might instantly want to meet you as he misses you too much.
It’s as simple as that. If you feel like something’s not right, in all probability, something is definitely wrong. Communicate and make the effort. At times, the relationship may be a failed cause because your man’s a bad guy. But almost always, the relationship stagnates because you and your lover have started to take the relationship for granted. [Read: 25 relationship rules for a successful long term relationship]
My ex and I met 7 months ago one night out dancing. We had an amazing connection instantly. He told me on our second date not to fall in love with him as he was moving back home across the country. Regardless to say I never reached out to him he contacted me every day and we spent every day together for 1.5 months before he moved. In that time we got pregnant, he was the one that said ok let’s try this, after telling me before knowing this he was not ready for a relationship as they don’t work distance wise. So we were committed and then I unfortunately lost the baby which I flew to see him and he was amazing! I met his entire family and we fell in love. We were apart for 4 months and then went away on a trip which was great. When he moved back to my city he struggled with reality having to work and get up and guilt of leaving his dad who is terminally ill. He then started to get get distant stopped being intimate and short with me. When we finally talked he said he was not emotionally physically or mentally ready for a relationship. Where honestly he is depressed and not dealing with life situations of job security, financial security and family illness. He bawled his eyes out to me when ending it saying he was sorry that he loves me but he needs to remove himself from the stress of a relationship. He said I could still see his family and he still wants to be apart of my life, going for dinners, movies ect. I stopped talking to him and he texted me every day for three days. Then he gave me 4 days space before messaging me again saying he misses me but it’s only been a week and thanked me for sending his mom’s mother’s day cards. He has liked a post on my FB. He sent so many confusing mixed messages when we were braking up, kissing me telling me he loves me asking me over for sleep overs.
4. Appreciation. Men really do want to be respected and appreciated. For many, this may mean that they need a lot of stroking. Their partners should be aware that praise and gratitude work wonders, emotionally and physically—as long as it's truthful. And along with the truth, men want partners to tell them what they want, as a perception of nagging makes them feel unappreciated.
It`s so true like you said in the post “Commitment is scary but it’s the most beautiful, courageous and beneficial thing you can do for yourself. Once you commit, life becomes so.much.simpler. Your emotional constipation ceases to exist as does looking for laxatives in the form of gossip, acting on impulse, engaging in friendsh*ts, relationsh*ts and validation seeking.”
Thanks for your reply. To be clear, I wasn't attacking the entire article, just the particular comment. I think you need to be more careful and critical of what type of evidence you cite. Just because Mr Laumann has credentials doesn't make everything he says true (appeal to authority is a logical fallacy). James Watson (a nobel prize laureate) also said that Africans were less genetically less intelligent. Does that make it true? Scientists are also humans and they can have racist or sexist biases. Mr Laumann is obviously sexist. I mean, is there a study which proves that men leave their wives to die alone in nursing homes? That is inaccurate and doesn't reflect reality. Most of the women that I've met in nursing homes were widows whose husbands had died a few years earlier. Most men value their marriages and wouldn't walk out on a 30 plus year marriage for purely sexual reasons. Also, I think it is offensive to imply that men are pigs who care about nothing but sex (why is sex #1 for men and #4 for women?) While good sex is truly important and essential for men, I doubt that it's the #1 factor in long-term relationships.

My ex and I broke up 4 days ago, we were together for 9 months. In The first month of our relationship I went on a cruise and my friend asked if we were still dating. She saw him making out with his ex gf at her party. I talked to the girl and she told me they even had sex and she had his necklace and earring and he even changed her name in his phone to a guys name. I read very inappropriate messages between the two. Saying, “he got a instant b*ner when she put her tongue down his throat at the party”. He admitted that she kissed him first and that’s all it was and nothing more. He said he never cheated on me meaning he never had sex with her and how he couldn’t do that and still be with me. So 8 months go by and the majority of our relationship we spent time watching tv, playing video games, going to a few parties, but not really going out and doing actual couple things. Back to it being 4 days since we broke up, he initiated the break up because I found tinder on his phone, but it was also mutual because at times he didn’t treat me right and I constantly saw him messaging other girls not necessarily cheating and then he made a tinder account two days before we broke up because he said it was because of the possibility of us breaking up. Three days go by and he texted me at like 12:30 am saying, “you been doing okay”, but I didn’t respond and an hour later ““ the thumbs emoji because I didn’t respond. But this whole time we’ve been broken up he’s been going out to the bars staying out late at night with his friends even staying at the place he’s at till the morning. But the worst part is his friends are a major problem, was a problem in our relationship, they … mainly one friend encourages him to go out and get drunk. Maybe that’s his way of not feeling the pain and distracting himself for reality but I wish he would just grow up and mature and not always choose his friends and having to always say okay to what they want to do. If he were to say no he would get manipulated and they would beg him to come out. The last thing I said to him was I hope he takes this time to work on himself and not being in a relationship. He said he agrees and it’s time for him to be by himself and not in a relationship. For his sake I hope this is true. It seems like he goes from relationships to relationships. … Him texting me that is just throwing me off. I need some advice.
Plus, if you don’t lash out with anger or blame, he’ll see that you’re in control of your emotions and that you’re not living and dying with everything he does or doesn’t do – and that will make him want you even more. He’ll know that you’re someone who understands what he needs without letting it affect you too much, and that will show him that you’re someone he can be his true self around.
When you’re going out to meet your boyfriend, look your best. Pay attention to how you look. You may want to appear as attractive as possible to him so that he can’t take off his eyes from you. This will make him very happy to be the guy who gets to be with her. You may want to know these unfortunate Signs Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Find You Attractive Anymore. 
The thing to realize is that people with great relationships don’t have the great relationships because they know great relationship secrets or psychological loopholes of the male mind. Fundamentally, people in the best relationships all have one thing in common: they don’t have relationships with people who are not a good match for them. They don’t let them into their life.
Many times in the quest for Mr. Right, women fall into relationships that have disastrous ending. During the initial few months of the relationship, they are head over heels in love with the guy and everything remains hunky dory. However, differences soon creep in and create tensions between the couple. This is a normal situation that every couple has to experience in a relationship, where some of them learn to deal with them, while some realize that it will be better to end the relationship before it becomes worse. Couples do not realize that something more than love is required to make a relationship work. Understanding, respect, open communication, etc., are some of the important factors for a long-lasting relationship. Also, men and women think differently and it is important that each one understands this factor while dealing with problems in a relationship. As it is necessary to solve problems at the right time, it is important to seek relationship help for men as well as women. Here, I will focus on relationship advise which will aid women to work for the betterment of their love life.
When distance is involved, we remember why we love the person so much and, believe it or not, focus on them more than when they are right beside us. It’s like dating all over again when you go back to your own homes at night and think about each other until you get back together. While you may not be able to go to that extreme, nor should you, there are some real good tips on how to make him miss you often enough to keep that spark and interest alive.
I have been dating a very successful professional, who also does a lot of additional work in non-profit and education. We went on 7 dates over 8 weeks, and he was always romantic and generous on these dates ie. expensive restaurants, shows, serenading me on his guitar, flowers, telling me he was in love with me and addicted to me, flirty texts… After the 5th date, I noticed that he messaged me less frequently and sometimes took days to respond. He mentioned that he was going through some stressful family stuff, and I assumed that it was related to a family illness. On our 7th date, he told me that his parent had collapsed a few days before and was in hospital from an illness that was related to addiction. He told me that he was extremely stressed because it was bringing up old issues for him, and he warned me that when he is stressed, he pulls away from everyone and needs time and space alone. A week before Christmas, he told me that his father had been admitted into a clinic and that he was concerned that his father would not commit to the program. He was sick with the flu and would sometimes message me just before midnight to say hello and that he had just gotten off work. He did not ask to see me, but he was taking time to see his friends. I messaged him now-and-then with appreciative texts, to which he responded positively, but then would not continue the conversation. By the fourth week of not seeing him, I was at the end of my rope, and I messaged him that I understood that he was going through a lot and that he was also busy with work, but that I would like to meet him to catch up because our communication was not what it used to be, and it had been 4 weeks since we had seen each other. He replied that he was aware that he was pulling away, and that he needed some more time to himself as he was struggling to find grounding. He told me that the family issues were still ongoing and causing a lot of stress. I said he would love to see me in the future but that right now he needed time alone. He told me that he understood if that was unacceptable to me, but that he hoped that I would wait for him and give him a little more time. I replied that I had been hurt and confused over the holidays because we did not see each other, but that I understood he needed space and time. I appreciated that he gave me some clarity and I would like for us to communicate better. I told him that I respected, cared for him and wished him happiness. Since our last text conversation 2 weeks ago, neither of us have reached out to one another. I’m finding it really hard to not see or talk to him, but from what I have read in relationship articles including this one about giving a man space when he is pulling away from stress, it is the best course of action. Some days I am so busy myself that I don’t really have time to think about him, but when I do, I become quite depressed. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated…
An additional tip for women in relationships is to be open-minded. Many women are so set in their ways that they don't want to compromise anything in a relationship. And while being strong is an important quality, it's also important to have the ability to grow and try new things. Looking at your partner as a teammate and confidant can help you understand that you're both in the relationship, and you both have to be willing to bend and see each other's perspective.
My boyfriend broke up with me last week after being together just over a year. Said I’m to negative for him and that he was unhappy for the last 8 weeks. Prior to the break was our year anniversary and in the card he wrote ‘can’t air for many more’. He’s told me himself he can’t fault the relationship except I was negative about life. I recognise this now and have also been referrrd for CBT therapy to help with this. He came and saw me the following day to talk. Said he didn’t know what to do with me and that I needed to be less stressed and chill out more. Live for the now and not the future. We had a long cuddle I n bed it felt amazing especially after the heartache the day before. when he left and text when he got home he said I don’t want to lead you on or confuse you but I need to sorry my head out and you need to sort yourself out. Take each day as it comes. Friday came and we had a chat and he said he feels we may of got together to quick as he never intended being with me but things happened and I made him happy. He told me it was 4 weeks he had been unhappy for not 8 as initially said. He said he isn’t wanting to be with anyone atm but still needs his space and if I want to message him I can. We follow each other on social media still and fb says still in a relationship. I know he’s really stressed with not having any work atm and his mum even said that too and said she has her fingers crossed it works out for us. I’m so hurt and confused by it all. It’s now the fourth day since we last spoke and I just want to message him and call him to tell him the positive steps I’ve taken since. We have a concert in July that he says we need to sort the tickets for and I said I still wanted to go with him and said okay. Not sure what to do but everyday I want to just message or call him
Do you think that you need to get into bed with a man just to keep him in your life?  Typically speaking, nothing could be further from the truth.  Having sex is not the solution to winning your man.  In fact, it can actually cause the exact opposite if he thinks you are loose with your morals. Giving yourself fully to who you believe your man is can remove the challenge and find him rushing off to accomplish another quest. Go with your gut instincts.
Your relationship problems are caused because the two of you are failing to communicate and are choosing to not spend time with each other. If you have time to hang out with friends while you are at his home town, yet you don’t make time to see him, then he has good reason to believe that you do not want to see him. You can choose to make time to visit him if you want to see him. The choice is yours. Have a great day, Vertugo!

Wow, I really liked some of your advice. I know most of that, but I really needed to hear it again. I'm not doing a great job at being unattached and being independent. lol. I put drinking glasses around the house over our bugs to let him kill them when he gets home. lol. I guess I should suck it up and pick them up and not be such a needy baby about that. Heck, I've done it before. Just not my favorite chore. Thanks for the encouragement!
We had very profound conversations, sharing the most intimate secrets and trusting each other. The physical part was amazing! After I couldn’t withhold my feelings on several occasions (two –three times during these two months) he started to pull back. The invitations to sleep over stopped all of a sudden, he stopped texting me every day and we have not met now for three weeks. I don’t see anything of what he told me before (that I was a different kind of a woman, that he hardly let someone so close to himself, that I am one of the few people he lets touch and hug him, that he cared about me given that he texted me every day, that I am a person worth having closer and that he didn’t want to hurt me). I try to revive things but every time I ask to meet he comes with “Maybe, if you find time although I am going out this weekend” and after going out “I got so drunk, I have a terrible hangover let’s meet another day” (which never comes), or when I ask whether we would meet he says “Let’s go to the cinema!” and then asks “Have you seen the movies? Although there is nothing good..” and it all stops there.
Absolutely. Why would u even bother with somebody like that. Everybody needs space and that applies to women also but that doesnt mean that u have to distance urself from each other to an extreme where u feel unloved and insecure in the relationship and why should any woman accept that its ok for a man to do this. Imagine if the woman did it…….different story then.
If you can’t get along with his friends, the chances of him making you his girlfriend are slim. To most guys, getting approval from their buddies is very important, and they want to make sure the people who are closest to them approve of their new romance. If his friends think you’re annoying and rude, it may make your guy back off and run from you for good.

As much flack as classic romantic comedies receive for being unrealistic, some of their messages ring loud and true when explaining why men pull away. More often than not, experts explain most men withdraw for one of three reasons: they’re lost interest because he doesn’t see a future for your twosome, he’s afraid of becoming too vulnerable with you, or he feels rushed to commit to a more serious union.


I met my dream guy 1.5 years ago , Long distance , we text and stay in touch through Videos and social media , and the love started growing , we are both connected daily , however now that I live in the same town , do my own thing , I love to be independent , we still continue our game but he is not bringing it up to the next level of action yet, like asking out for a date , I wonder if I need to withdraw more , make him miss me more , and not respond to his videos an hour or 2hours later ? I am always available , every day when he posts …AM.
Love your blog!! My boyfriend and I recently broke up after our vegas trip which we took for new years everything was so amazing up until the day before we left… then all hell broke loose he told me once we get home to go grab all my stuff from his house never contact him ever again to just leave him alone because he wants to start the new year single and just focus on him self…we’ve had many break ups before but I know deep down he has a very soft heart and has a super soft spot for me only knowing this because I was the only women who ever took so much care of him and gave him so much attention and love and spoiled him…first!! When we landed he was happy the same day we landed was my birthday…and I had got and huge cold within the 2 day time frame so once we landed I drove him home and no everything was fine laughing talking normal when I dropped him off he came to my window and kissed my hand and said feel better and walked away….so I drove off went home….the next day I was super sick with a cold still he came over with a bag of my stuff…an box of tissues….and a birthday cake which made me cry then sang me happy birthday by my bed and let me blow out the candles…we shared a peice and then he went home but just before he left i said i have the body wash and conditioner you can take it home and he replied but your never coming over again you keep it…couple days later I wasn’t feeling the greatest almost fainted in the shower so i called him and asked him to take me to emergency he did….everything was okay at the hospital in was told when in got my room to remove everything but panties and wear the gown….so I did and asked him to tie the back of the gown for me when he stood up I was turned so he stood behind me and I felt that he had a hard on so if started to laugh….after the whole hospital situation I thought we were okay….so I started asking him on the way home why can’t we be together after skinny focus together and things escalated and when I left the car we were in a huge fight he told me don’t call me text me leave me alone for good I don’t need drama or stress that’s afterskingndll you are….so I’d left it’s been a week almost since we talked and yesterday he sent me a msg asking how I was feeling and if i had been eating…so i replied felling much better and I eat when I remember because of my job…. he said I still love you I said love you to and then at night he had called me so is picked up he said is miss you do you miss me? I said yeah kept it very neutral today he called me but is didn’t answer so is sent him a text saying call u in 45 getting a facial done he replied it’s ok I just had a question…so I replied what’s up he never answered so when I was done I tried calling back twice he never answered so I sent a msg and said can’t answer now? ? So later on I had fell asleep and woke up around 8 with a horrible bad dream so ih sent him a text because that’s what I always used to do or call him….and said had a bad dream thought id text you don’t mind this msg….he replied maybe 10 minutes after saying it’s ok I love you….so I replied love you to…then he replied 10 minutes later saying miss me? And that’s when I stopped msging him…is did want to give him the satisfaction of saying yes I do….so he sent another msg saying ok….then another after saying….want to come over tonight chill and watch a movie? As bad as I wanted to say yes I didn’t. …and now I need help in want him back but he’s so rude and mean sometimes…. when he gets into his moods….but I love him when he’s not in any bad moods and he can be the most amazing person ever!!! What do I do!!! Please help!!

Leave him alone. I’ve been there believe me. It hurts and sometimes you can’t help yourself but you need to let go. You deserve a man that wants to be with you. Don’t force it. Do things that make you happy. Something new. Run a marathon, take a self defence course or do something you always wanted to do. You will find a perfectly good man that loves and wants to be with you when you least expect it.


Some women think that changing their behavior and attitude for the man they love will ensure that he will never leave them. However, this is not always true and can actually be the main cause of the relationship breakup. Women believe that doing some unusual things will attract men towards them. But, this does not always work, hence it is important that women try to be themselves while in a relationship. In some cases, men seem to be controlling and want the woman to behave and dress the way they want to. Many women fall for this, just to impress their partners. However, this can be unhealthy in the long run and therefore women should understand that in no circumstances should they change themselves for a man. A person who loves a woman for what she is and accepts her with all her positive as well as negative traits, is the one who truly loves her.
We bought my fave food nd we stayed in his condo and watched movies. We were like friends. No malice. And we were not sweet like how we were on text. But he’s sorrt that our first date is as simple as that only. And he even said that next time, he will do better. Then we slept on diffrent bed. But he came to me and slept beside me. I dont know what came to my mind and i hugged him. He hugged me back. All night, we just cuddled. We didnt kiss or had sex (well i wont allow him if he forced me) . the next morning, we didnt talk about it like it never happened. He walked me to the bus station.

I have been seeing a guy for almost 3 months. From the start he said he wasn’t interested in a “full on serious relationship” and at that stage I wasn’t either. He then told me 5 weeks ago that he had feelings for me but wasn’t ready to commit to them yet. I was intoxicated and my reaction was “okay we should stop sleeping together/talking etc.” Up until this point it had been really perfect and he always replies asap, initiates to hang out etc. After this conversation he came back really strong without even a day in between where there was no contact and kept initiating plans e.g., going away together and paying for it. We didn’t sleep together for 2 weeks but as he lives with 4 of my best friends, we fell back into a sleeping together arrangement again and things pretty much went back to where they stopped. I had a conversation with him this week because I really wanted to know where I stand. He pretty much said that he didn’t want “rules” i.e., you can’t sleep with someone else, however for this time we would only sleep with each other and if we did sleep with someone else then we would have to tell each other and it would change what we have. I was happy with this. When it came to kissing other people, he said that because I wasn’t his girlfriend, I wouldn’t need to tell him if I kissed someone else because it would hurt him but if i were his girlfriend, he would want to know. I pretty much said I disagree and coming from a place of security that it would be nice to know that he wasn’t out kissing other girls. He doesn’t’ go out much either which he used to try and reassure me. I told him that due to the living situation and fear of getting hurt I may want to remove myself from the situation.
Recently he saw that I had written “your peeps are creative” to someone’s group Halloween photo. He freaked out and said I was hitting on other men. When I tried to hug him to calm him down, he pushed me off. He then deleted all my photos from his IG and FB. That same night his sister in law called and asked if he and I broke up. I told her what happened and she went and did a blast text message to his entire family about him being an abuser. She said she is purposely pushing me out for my own good.

I have been dating a very successful professional, who also does a lot of additional work in non-profit and education. We went on 7 dates over 8 weeks, and he was always romantic and generous on these dates ie. expensive restaurants, shows, serenading me on his guitar, flowers, telling me he was in love with me and addicted to me, flirty texts… After the 5th date, I noticed that he messaged me less frequently and sometimes took days to respond. He mentioned that he was going through some stressful family stuff, and I assumed that it was related to a family illness. On our 7th date, he told me that his parent had collapsed a few days before and was in hospital from an illness that was related to addiction. He told me that he was extremely stressed because it was bringing up old issues for him, and he warned me that when he is stressed, he pulls away from everyone and needs time and space alone. A week before Christmas, he told me that his father had been admitted into a clinic and that he was concerned that his father would not commit to the program. He was sick with the flu and would sometimes message me just before midnight to say hello and that he had just gotten off work. He did not ask to see me, but he was taking time to see his friends. I messaged him now-and-then with appreciative texts, to which he responded positively, but then would not continue the conversation. By the fourth week of not seeing him, I was at the end of my rope, and I messaged him that I understood that he was going through a lot and that he was also busy with work, but that I would like to meet him to catch up because our communication was not what it used to be, and it had been 4 weeks since we had seen each other. He replied that he was aware that he was pulling away, and that he needed some more time to himself as he was struggling to find grounding. He told me that the family issues were still ongoing and causing a lot of stress. I said he would love to see me in the future but that right now he needed time alone. He told me that he understood if that was unacceptable to me, but that he hoped that I would wait for him and give him a little more time. I replied that I had been hurt and confused over the holidays because we did not see each other, but that I understood he needed space and time. I appreciated that he gave me some clarity and I would like for us to communicate better. I told him that I respected, cared for him and wished him happiness. Since our last text conversation 2 weeks ago, neither of us have reached out to one another. I’m finding it really hard to not see or talk to him, but from what I have read in relationship articles including this one about giving a man space when he is pulling away from stress, it is the best course of action. Some days I am so busy myself that I don’t really have time to think about him, but when I do, I become quite depressed. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated…
I have been with my bf for just over a year lived with him for just over 6 of those, it’s been great he’s really been open and honest about his feelings but for the past month or so I have noticed how much he has thrown himself into work (self employed so can do as little or much as he pleases) and so our time together has dwindled? I challenged him over this as I wanted to spend time with him doing nice things all the time getting “as soon as much jobs are all done” which could be anytime! I truly believe he was now starting his pulling away stage, I am now worried that I have ‘ran’ after him too much and made things much much worse by delaying his pulling away possibly even ensuring he has had enough and is ready to call it a day! Hes working away at the moment and before he went we had another petty argument in which I stupidly told him that we should have some space with no communication whilst hes away (I felt like I couldn’t do right for doing wrong) I’m scared I have ruined it completely now! I self blame quite a lot (past relationship issues) since away he has texted me and told me he is also to blame for these issues and that with time he’s sure we will be alright, Please help what should I do, what actions should I take? If this is pulling away, will he be able to return still or has this gone too far? He’s due home on Thursday, how do I allow him time in his man cave when we live together?
Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?
I am dating a guy in a distance relationship for about three months, at the beggining we felt unbelievable connection soulmate like, he said he wants to marry and have children, he was caring and sweet (flowers, gifts, lots of time together). However I know he cheated on me at the very beginning of dating (I forgived him because that was very fresh relation).
Even if he doesn’t realize it at first, he will eventually learn that he has more minute-by-minute fun with you than he does with other women – other women who spend too much time trying getting a commitment out of him through pressure and nagging. In the end, he is going to follow his heart…and his heart always follows the most intense feelings and experiences—the memories of laughter, talking, and excellent conversation.
It is very important to cultivate position communication with your husband or boyfriend. This will make him always confide in you and bring you both closer to each other. Make it easier for him to share with you how he feels by being patient and active listener. You should also come up with a positive way to communicate your feelings to him about how you feel when he acts distant. This will make him realize that he can always talk to you about his personal issues and other problems related to the relationship without affecting the relationship.
Hi, I am a 61 year old widow and dating a 62 year old man for going on 2 years now, he has never been married or in a serious relationship for any length of time before. He tells me randomly that he loves me and we spend almost all our time together. He is hesitant to move in with me because he says he wants to be 100% sure of his feelings. He says that sometimes he doesn’t feel love or attraction and then other times he does. He hasn’t been with anyone else since we met and we are neighbors and friends and enjoy doing multiple things together. I am trying not to push too hard because I have the feeling he does love me and maybe this will go somewhere. Other times, I doubt his love for me because he doesn’t just come out and make a commitment to me. Am I being too needy in wanting a commitment and him to move in with me after almost 2 years of dating? What advice would you give me in regards to this relationship? I have met his entire family and we spend holidays together with them and I get along great with them. He asks my advice on things and shares details of his past life and relationships and mistakes he has made in life. He also shares all his goals and dreams with me and asks me to help him make decisions on things because he has a hard time making decisions on things. I don’t want to hang on if there will never be love but at the same time I don’t want to let go of something good because he does treat me with respect and will randomly say I love you and is always hugging me and kissing me and doesn’t only demand sex out of the relationship.
Recently I was asked by a friend what relationship advice for women was actually essential. Honestly, dating and relationship advice is super easy to come by on the internet. I mean, I’ve personally written hundreds of articles about it, adding up to hundreds of thousands of words. And that’s just a drop in the ocean of other relationship advice out there.

I met a guy on a website some while ago, we met and it went great – was long distance. After a year, i didnt hear from him. Fast forward to last year September, i heard from him out of the blue, we chatted again for almost 2 months. We were to meet somewhere, but he didnt answer me back with a time. Was i being messed with? ( he ‘s very busy with his work, 1 kid at school). Should i just forget about him?
It`s so true like you said in the post “Commitment is scary but it’s the most beautiful, courageous and beneficial thing you can do for yourself. Once you commit, life becomes so.much.simpler. Your emotional constipation ceases to exist as does looking for laxatives in the form of gossip, acting on impulse, engaging in friendsh*ts, relationsh*ts and validation seeking.”
"Not all guys are outright about their interest, but there are certain signs you can definitely look for. If you've developed an inside joke, that's for sure a good thing. How polite is he being? Is he buying drinks? Offering his seat? Walking you home/to the train? Is he staying out way later than he should? Generally trying to make sure you're enjoying yourself? Is it super easy to convince him to get one more round when he has to wake up for work at seven? He might be miserable the next day...but he probably won't mind." Brady O.
When he talks about something that’s important to him, follow up with additional questions. Remember what he says. Even if it’s not an interest that you share, be willing to learn about it. Who knows, maybe it’ll end up becoming something you’re passionate about as well. If not, being receptive to it regardless will show him you care more about him than doing exactly what you want with every second of your day.

2. Freedom. Many men desire to feel free not to be boxed in by questions like "What are we doing this weekend?" or "Why didn't you call?" If they do not answer phone messages, texts, or emails right away, it may be that they feel they should be exempt. Women facing this response may need to decide whether they will accept it or decide that a partner is no longer worth the effort.


He could have realized that things are starting to get more serious with you, and it could have scared him off. He may also be waiting to text you again just to make sure that your relationship with each other stays in the “friends with benefits” realm instead of becoming something else. If you do want to make your relationship more serious though, you should talk to him about what he wants. You have already dated him for two years, and you will end up in the same position in another two years unless you actually figure out where you relationship stands. There is nothing wrong with having a long-term friends with benefits situation, but both partners should know that is the case and want the relationship to be just casual.
So, I met him accidentlly one night on the way to a friend’s place after a party. th is guy’s bike had broke down n he also had bruises on him because had slipped. i asked my friends to stop to help him. my friends helped him n I, God knows why, invited him over to my friend’s place, one of the reasons may be because it was late at night and he stayed close to my friend’s place. He accepted. We hit it off right away. we stayed up all night, all of us and talked. next morning he also stayed back for breakfast. he randomly gave out his #. but i did not save it. instead one of my friend(guy) did. I was leaving the city pretty soon. so, my friends and i were planning for house party at my place. he offered to come, too and suggested he’d cook as a thank you for helping him.
I JUST went thru this with my boyfriend of almost a year. He got VERY distant for 2 weeks and when I pushed him to find out what was up, he said he was 50/50 about our relationship and needed time to think. So I gave it to him and NEVER reached out again. I didnt even sign into social media, I wanted him to have no idea what I was up to. After 2 weeks of no contact, he texted me today pouring his heart out about how he messed up and all he thought about was me, etc etc. Everything I’ve only ever dreamed of him saying and he NEVER says his feelings towards me, but has always shown them in affection. We are meeting tonight after he begged to see me to talk. I still can’t believe he admitted he was scared that he messed things up and realized he was throwing away a good thing. We still have a lot to work out, but I think this is a great start. Hang in there everyone who is going thru the same thing!
#8 You are at different stages of the relationship. There are varying levels of a relationship, and if you are on stage 10, but he is still stuck at stage 3, he may be pulling back because he just isn’t ready or capable of being where you are. There are all different reasons why people aren’t willing to commit. If he’s not and he senses that you are, he is going to try to pull away and find some space.

Then, switch things up by missing a phone call or two back-to-back. Your guy will be wondering where you are and what happened to your daily contact. He will start to realize that getting those daily text messages and phone calls are a part of his day that he doesn’t want to live without, and he’ll be dying to be in a committed relationship with you!


Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, and more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated. Women think men do not need them, and do not value their opinion, their support, or their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things that are important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism can be a way to verbalize resentment.

In this article, I am going to walk you through a step by step process on why these issues may happen. I ask for you to not only read but take the time to see if any of these situations sit with you. Once you notice a situation that has occurred for you previously or currently I want you to ask yourself where this is coming from? I work with many clients and this is the most common thing woman face these days. I invite you to share your comments below and I will personally answer questions you may have and try to give you my advice tailored to the question you’ve asked. I love hearing from you so please feel free to post a comment.
Eric, although I think you might be “spot on” on your theories, I can tell you for a fact that at age 67 I’ve had a lot more experience. Here really is the very bottom line in finding a good relationship, “it has to be cultivated and tended to”. After 40 yrs of marriage, loss due to death, we had to grow up together, we changed as we grew, we had to adjust, we became grown ups, our ideas, needs and desires changed. No matter how hard times are, no matter how much you share in common, or laugh or cry together, the one thing—“the only thing that keeps you together through thick and thin, till death do you part” Is a high regard for the other persons “person”, and a hell of magnetic physical attraction. Easy as that. It takes YEARS for the former to develop—and you can only hope that the latter remains. There is no magic wand. It is hard work that can pay you back with a lifetime of wonderful memories.
@ Sam after reading your post I really don’t understand your question because you did say you refuse to be with someone who showed you he doesn’t care about your health if only we women really Focus on men ACTIONS not his words ACTIONS tells us the Truth… I think you really know he doesn’t really care about you and you should treat him the same with the I Don’t Care Attitude and move on.

Zambia bans 'Viagra' energy drinkRonaldo fined by Uefa over goal celebration Photo of the week: Driver and police in a fracas over road infractionKumasi in shock as 2 ladies are murdered Why? (Part 1 and 2) by Dr Papa Kwesi NduomGhana ranked fourth happiest in Sub-Saharan AfricaCatholic Archbishop of Accra commends Rawlings for supporting poor, underprivilegedBawumia leads Economic Management team town Hall meeting on April 3
Português: Fazer Ele Sentir Sua Falta, Español: hacer que él te extrañe, Italiano: Fargli Sentire la Tua Mancanza, Deutsch: Wie ich ihn dazu bekomme mich zu vermissen, Français: faire pour que vous lui manquiez, Русский: заставить его скучать по тебе, 中文: 让他想念你, Bahasa Indonesia: Membuat Dia Merindukan Anda, Nederlands: Ervoor zorgen dat hij je gaat missen, Čeština: Jak zařídit, aby vás postrádal, ไทย: ทำให้เขาคิดถึงคุณ, Tiếng Việt: Khiến chàng nhớ bạn, العربية: جعل الشاب يشتاق إليك, 日本語: 彼氏の気を引く, 한국어: 그가 당신을 그리워하게 만드는 방법, हिन्दी: अपने हसबैंड या बॉयफ्रेंड को अपनी याद दिलाएँ
When we get so focused on the need for any one man, it’s easy to get blinded. That’s when we start making excuses for him that may in fact be relationship deal breakers for us. If what you want is an exclusive relationship, yet you keep seeing him if he wants something else for fear of losing him, you’re really only losing yourself and all that is important to you.
The last time I saw my boyfriend was 3 weeks ago. I understand that to some, it may not seem like that long, but to me, it feels like forever. Every time I get upset I always tell myself to go to my happy place only to realize my happy place is half an hour away and I have no way of getting there. I've made him happy when he was pissed and he's made me happy when I was sad. People say we're not good for each other, but who cares about what other people think. As long as I have him, I'm happy. Also, taking the time to write this actually made me feel a lot better. I'm still upset but I know things will get better.
Hi, my ex boyfriend and i work together, he is younger than me and we were friend for 2 years, I have been supporting him during his bad marriage. I have been liking him for a while and I confessed to him and told him that I can’t be his friend any more as I need to deal with my felling to him as this is wrong feelings because he is married. Latter he got separated from his wife and contacted me 2 weeks after the separation and we became together very quickly and very intense, he initiate every thing and we were very happy he told me how much he loves me and that he wanted to have a future with me. I gave him all the attention and care he needed to help with his separation. Then after that he start to change he started to disrespect me and became secretive than he dumped me because he is not ready for a relationship but he wanted us to remain friends. Our relationship lasted 2 and half months I was upset and tearful but I didn’t react he tried to say hurtful things to me to have a reaction still I didn’t react and I didn’t get hurtful to him with any words or actions and told him that I understand what he is going through and I am willing to go back to be friends, he was grateful for this and astonished that I didn’t react crazy of hurtful to him. Afterwards he contact me via text in almost weekly basis for the following 3 weeks after the breakup checking on me and try to open conversation, also appreciating me at the office to check that i am ok. I kept it short and simple as i need my time to heel as well as i felt he is playing games to keep me hooked in case he can’t find some one alse so he would have me as a short tearm back up. I stoped all contact a week ago and started to ignore him in the office as well and tried not to run into him but in a cool way so I only smile and say hi if we are in the same place briefly. He didn’t text me at all this week, I do want him back because i do love him but not sure that i have a chance or that he even really care. I am very cool, calm and smily in the office as allways which he can see which made him a bit uneasy and he tried to get my attention. I continued taking care of myself and having fun which he can see as well. Can you please advise if you can? Many thanks, Angie.
Anyway, while at the birthday party, he was asking me what I was doing later, even though I wasn’t doing anything. He left once it ended saying he was going over to his friend’s house. I had sent him a picture of a dog I was watching that he made a joke about, but he didn’t respond all night until the next morning, which was brief and he stopped texting after the second message. He texted me today asking for his Comcast information, said thank you, then never responded once I said you’re welcome.
All these women saying “thank you for the tips” and tolerating being turned on and off at guy’s whims just because “they are like that”, “they need space” “they need to deal with one thing at a time”. Come on!! We deserve better than that. We deserve a mature person next to us, not a whimsical child-man that from his enormous ego (like many kids have) can’t see how their actions impact on those who love him and care about him.
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I’ve just broken up with him and….we still live together! How am I supposed to not stay in touch etc if we share a house? We have issues and we both need time to tackle them separately. We feel there is a chance for us to be together in the future but if we were to stay together right now, things would go very bad… So, in order to salvage the feelings and fondness we had before the problem cropped up, we’ve decided to separate. BUT we live together…!!! How can I make him miss me if we’re flatmates? :/
I met this guy at work. We started working together and became close friends. One day l invitedhim to my place. We were watching a movie (nothing romantic) and he kissed me. I hadnt seen it coming. I asked what that was all about and said if he wants me, he should say so. He said he likes me. He looked a bit young so l asked how hold he is. He would avoid a direct answer and say “l am old enough” or “l am not a child” and “Age doesnt matter”. He never asked me formally to be his girlfriend but he would treat me as such, we went on dates and communicated frequently. Then one day he said, by the way, l just made 26 years in May. I am 30. I was devastated considering l asked him ftom the start how old he is. He said he didnt tell me then because he was scared of how l would react. We talked about it and he said age doesnt matter. But then there were moments he wouldnt communicate. He would just shut me out and when l ask what is wrong, he will say he is getting through personal issues. I gave him space. We meet a lot at my place but never at his. When l called one day and his phone was off for two days, l went looking for his house (l dropped him home once but he didnt invite me in, saying his house was a mess and it was late). I found him home n he was shocked to see me. The pattern continued though…he being so all over me one time and withdrawn the next minute. So l sent him a ling message breaking it off. He didnt reply. But said hi at work and we spoke like normal workmates n he sent me a text about work. Recently l asked him why he didnt respond to my breakup message. He said it was complex and he wanted to give me my space. He asked if l am still his friend and l didnt respond and he got worked up about it. Since l broke things off, he communicates more…he even calls and texts in a tone friendlier than when we were together. I still have feelings for him but l dont know what this is. Did l push him away? Is he scared of me (l earn more, have a car and land and a car and a bigger house)? Is he worth another try (he is hard working, smart, caring even sometimes and has plans – we’d even talked kids and marriage) or l should stick to my breakup message and let go?
2. Manage your expectations. Are you, dear Dignity Dater, envisioning yourself walking down the aisle with your new guy…who you’ve been dating for three weeks? Stop right there. It’s imperative you don’t assume too much, especially too soon. You must stay in the moment! When you have too many expectations for your future relationship with someone new whom you’re dating, you are surely setting yourself up for disappointment. If you spend hours fantasizing about his proposal or the wedding and find yourself doodling the names of your imagined first born daughter, STOP it now. Take a deep breath whenever you notice this happening and ask yourself, “What’s true NOW?” Even if you have to reality check yourself a zillion times a day, making sure you’re interested in HIM versus interested in the possibility of who HE is as your future husband can be a game-changing shift in mindset. When you get disappointed about something that he doesn’t even know you’re thinking about, and you begin “leaking” hints about what it is you want, it can actually push a man away. So be in the moment, be your authentic self, and have a good time collecting data about him, his values, and yourself.

#1 You are too pushy. If you are coming on too strong and he is not in the same place in the relationship, he will likely start to withdraw. Guys don’t like feeling pressured into being with someone. Wanting to maintain control, if they feel as if you are moving too fast, trying to persuade them to take the relationship to a point they aren’t ready for, they will begin to pull back and try to create distance.

Thank You Eric for this wonderful article! I followed all your advice keeping my options open, stopped having an agenda, started enjoying the relationship for what it is and most importantly learned how to be happy by myself, and the guy I was dating for almost 2 years finally made it official! It takes time to practice these things but it is so worth it!
I have been in love with a guy for over ten years now and we both love each other, all of a sudden he started seeing another girl and when I confronted him about that he told me it’s true that he’s seeking another girl but he didn’t mean to and he’s madly in love with her. So I told him that we should quit but he said no that he still want to marry me. I don’t know but I think he want to marry me out of petty. I’m confused cos I love him, please l need ur help.
He may have feelings for you. He probably has very strong feelings for you. He likely is concerned that if the two of you develop a relationship at this time, that he will not act in a mature enough manner and may damage your friendship. If you want to move into a relationship with him, then explain that you know that the both of you care about each other and you are not going to hurt him. Let him know that you trust him not to hurt you. Best of luck, Vicki!

The problem with making yourself too "available" when he's playing hot and pretending not to notice when he's playing cold is, you've made it clear you're going to be sticking around no matter what. Unfortunately, this means he feels confident continuing this behavior because he knows there won't be any consequences. You will be there when he wants, and he can ignore you when he doesn't.

Do you have a source or study for this statistic? Anecdoctal evidence or observations shouldn't be cited as evidence by a psychology publication. I'm a nursing student and I've visited a nursing home. I found the proportion of male to female residents roughly equal. Perhaps, there are more women, because women live on average six to eight years longer than men. In addition, older men have a higher suicide rate. These factors could explain the higher numbers of women in some nursing homes. I find this statement sexist, and offensive to MEN. I believe that men have emotions and are capable of love and attachment, just like women. I also believe that most men have integrity, and strength of character. This is the exact sort of thing that encourages stereotype, hostiity between the genders, and anti-male discrimination. The professor you quoted is obviously unscientific and a misogynist. You should be ashamed of yourself for quoting him. I will be writing a complaint to psychology today, and starting a petition about this. Thanks.

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