Men like to take lead and solve problems. They like to keep their personal problems with themselves and try to find a solution. If your boyfriend is acting distant, he may be having a personal problem and trying to find a solution on his own. Once he solves the problem, he will come back to you. There is nothing to worry about because he is not running away from you. It would be wise to give him some space and let him figure out what to do next. It is strongly advised to avoid putting pressure on him for spending time with you. This can make things worse and push him away from you because if you keep putting pressure on him, he might feel like you are self-involved and don’t realize that he may be having some personal issues. When the time is right and everything gets back to normal, he might tell you the reason why he was acting distant.
Yes, it seems as though this man has you where he wants you. Even though spending time with him makes you feel better in hopes it will change when you see him it will not. Honestly, I would go ghost for 30 days. Focus on you getting the control of yourself and your emotions because I understand that this can be hard but you deserve better and you have a right to demand better. He will want to know why you aren’t talking to him and after 30 days you deliver that message and once you do you have the control back. I have an amazing coach that works with women so if you need anything in the future we are here for you.
Without even realizing it, he’ll see how great being in a committed relationship is. It’s even better if you talk about it but you need to be careful. Instead of saying things like, “anything for my boyfriend.” Say something along the lines of, “I’ll do anything for someone I care so much about.” It’s less scary and proves to him that you really do care. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples go through]
Get a guy to commit by being loved by everyone around him. Get on the good side of his parents and friends. This will give him a well needed nudge to make him realize that you are a keeper. Moreover, if they like you, they’ll always be positive around you and spread that positivity onto him as well. They too will give him that nudge. He will love you even more if he sees that the people he loves, are impressed by you. This is one of the greatest goals you need to achieve if you are trying to get him to commit to a relationship. A relationship is only fair and successful if both of your lives are intertwined and fit in like each piece of the puzzle. That’s why you need to take some time to get to know his family and friends, as this will lead you to get to know more about him, and we all know how relatives and friends love to reveal little tid bits from his bachelor life. And we love to hear those, don’t we?

When a relationship is fresh and new, everything is exciting- especially when the two of you hit the sheets. You go at it like wild animals and since you haven’t been doing it often, everything is new and intriguing. However, as the relationship continues, sometimes that sexual spark flares out and the two of you are stuck in a sexual rut. And men, being extra sexual by nature, may pull away if they’ve lost the spark that can’t be lit up again.
I’d just sit on it for a week, then text him and say are you done? Do you want to man up and be with me or do I need to stop waiting? Or if you don’t want to be as direct wait for a month. Do these things, he’s probably still checking up on you or a moment will come where he’s like damn what is she up to? Make sure your medias are filled with lots of fun stuff and pictures of you.

This is absolutely no excuse for you to be cheated on. Your independence is important and if he wanted the attention he should have spoken to you about this before he cheated instead of cheating and then placing blame on you. This is narcissistic behavior and I encourage you to stay strong. If you need further help you can reach out to me for a private coaching session here so I can guide you towards working through this. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/


hello! well i ve read this article and i want to share my story also. I met this guy online and we “clicked” immediately. we ‘ve been texting-videocalling all the time and he told me from the beginning he was looking for sth serious etc. He called all the time and texted A LOT. we werent in a relationship since we haven’t met yet but we promised to meet in 4 months from now. the thing is he became a lot more distant this week. he doesn’t call or text as often. dont get me wrong he still does but if he sent 20 messages a day now he sends 5 . maybe he got scared because i am kind of clingy sometimes but at the beginning he seemed to not bother at all. i like him so much and i am afraid he might bail on me . what should i do? as far as i know asking him is not a good idea right?
I met this guy 6 weeks ago via tinder and we hit it off after 3 weeks. He said he wanted to be exclusive with me and we text and talk everyday even when he’s travelling. The thing is, he is always travelling for work and when I met him back after his 2 weeks of travel (1 week ago) , I was excited to see him but I was facing with a lot of family problems (family member has cancer) that time. He was telling me how much stress he was facing during the last biz trip and I listened and comforted him. Before we parted, I said I needed a break from this relationship as is moving too fast, instead of telling him my family issues. He looked disappointed and said OK and left. He did not initiate any contact with me for the past 1 week except when he just text me arrived safely at the airport that time. The next day I text him saying I am stressed out and feel bad abt what I said to him, he didn’t reply. I text him 2 days later asking is everything OK, he said all good and he’s tired. Then 4 days later I text him that I wanted to rekindle the relationship again, no reply. I’m thinking is he pulling away as I demanded space? But I already said I want to start again. He is coming back in 5 days time. I don’t know what should I do then? Shall I wait for him to contact me or if he doesn’t, means he wants to end with me?
In my own research, I find that women are a slightly more faithful group, as confirmed by talks with sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. He says that just 14 percent of ever-married women report having had an extramarital affair over their lifetime, as compared with 22 percent of men.

Me and my ex boyfriend have been broken up for months I think maybe years yesterday he told me that he doesn’t need me or want me it’s because of a heated conversation we had and he said that the reason why he is keeping his distance from me is because of the stupid things that I do like not being honest or talking to my ex-boyfriend from the last relationship but I’m not doing that anymore now all the sudden now he says that I don’t mess with him anymore I couldn’t even go fishing with his family today and I want to know what I can do to not be in a bad mood while keeping distance from him as well and not contacting him I need help I can’t sit here day after day crying about him texting him or calling him he said he’s keeping his distance from me he completely shut me off he said he doesn’t need me or want me so I try to find things to occupy me like watch movies or play games on my phone but it still doesn’t help what should I do to make it seem like I don’t miss him but I want him to miss me but deep down inside I do miss him what do you think I should do?
I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in 3 weeks. It seemed he was communicating less and less so I called him and he said he would call me back. He didn’t so the next morning I sent him a text stating it seemed like he wanted to break up so I would let him go. He wrote back that he didn’t want to break up, that his feelings hadn’t changed. That work had just been extremely stressful. He asked if we could get together to talk about it and suggested a day. I wrote him back in agreement I meet and talk. He never wrote back and wouldn’t answer my call. He ghosted me and after a month I unfriended and blocked him on Facebook. I miss him and I’m sure he’s missing me. Or was I played ? What should I do? LEt him go?
#5 He is stressed out at work. Men are not like women. They are not multi-taskers. If he is preoccupied with something like work, he probably isn’t capable of keeping his focus on two things at once. If you notice that he’s no longer as interested as he used to be, it’s important for you to start looking not only at his behavior but at what is going on with his family and work life as well. It may have absolutely nothing to do with you at all.

What a d*ck. You look gorgeous, BTW, I don’t think it’s you, I think it’s him. Having said that – big mistake you made was when he said he needed space – you should NOT have texted him! I know it’s easy to make that mistake, I’ve done it myself. When a guy says he needs space – give it to him in busloads. Don’t text, don’t call, etc. Just leave him alone. Give your phone to your best friend if you need to to keep yourself from calling him in a moment of weakness. Schedule activities every night if you need to – put in more time at work, spend time with friends, work out, get a massage… get a second job. ANYTHING! Just do NOT contact him.
So I took the initiative of stopping by before he was to leave for work the next morning, me being pressed. We kinda talked but it reverted to me acting crazy and being accused of starting the altercation. He said doesn’t want the relationship anymore and we can just be friends. I was then n am now hurt. I shed a few tears . I asked if I could have a kiss since our 1yr relationship was over n he said no. He then said I’ll kiss your cheek. I opted for it and after asked if I could kiss his cheek back. He agreed and as I reached for his cheek the damn water works shot out like a lightning vult. I then grabbed his whole face while hugn, kissn, and cryn on his cheek, he proceeded to turn and kiss me and it felt like a rebirth. I then stated to just leave and head to work while I walked away. Heeeelp
Hey I am currently dealing with this with my boyfriend I just came across these tips I don’t think its too late to try. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years and we have conceived two children within our relationship a 4year old girl and 2year old boy. Lately my boyfriend has been under tremendous stress and I haven’t acknowledged that so I was adding on to his stress by arguing and nagging I ended up pushing him away now and I think for good this morning before he left he said hes done for good because I kept forcing to fix the problem. I’m struggling on giving him his space because we live together in a studio its hard to walk past him everyday and just not talk to him. How do I give him his space and just have distance I am a stay at home mom so I don’t work and I don’t leave the house I’m home with my kids. Any tips on how to enforce the space so he can clear hos mind I know he loves me dearly hes just very stressed out and wants to clear his mind on his own he said so himself.
There’s a huge difference between being interested in the person you’re with and being obsessive/clingy. If you’re sending him 100 text messages a day asking where he’s at or why he’s not answering you, trying to see him every minute of every day, or going overboard to show him how much you care about when the relationship is fairly new, you might be pushing him away from you. Men don’t want a clingy lady. They want a woman who is secure and independent but still shows that she cares in a subtle and sensual way.
Hi! I was dating this guy for nearly a year. We go to the same small college and he is in the grade above me as the same major. We are each other’s first loves. Towards the end of our relationship he treated me like a “yo-yo”. He would push me away, then show interest, have sex, show interest then push me away again. It was a vicious cycle. I put him through a lot in the beginning of our relationship so he uses that as an excuse for the poor way he began to treat me. I was so vulnerable for this guy. I told him I would to anything for him, and I would change the things about myself that he did not like. It became unhealthy. We broke up and I finally started to just focus on myself again. My happiness is no longer relying on him. It has been a week since we have officially broke up (he broke up with me three times… i felt incapable of ending it… i didn’t want to leave things until i felt wanted… we were on and off… and this third time was our “final” time). He texted me, out of the blue, this morning and said “I can’t get you off of my mind”. I normally respond, but this time I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to fall into another trap, but it is so hard to simply just ignore. What do you think is best? We love each other, but right now we are just toxic for each other. I can’t deal with being pushed away and he can’t deal with my needy response. I’m so confused on what he wants with me. He never knew when he was with me and it killed me… I know I want him but his indecisiveness has caused this relationship to crumble. It just all seems like a chase! When I give him attention, he pushes me away, but when I don’t give him attention he begs for it back. I don’t want to play a game I just want to figure things out for my own peace of mind. Please help!

Your man may be withdrawing because he feels like you’re pressuring him to move the relationship along more quickly than he’s comfortable with. If this is the case, there’s a clear and obvious new boyfriend advice you need to take: back off. To stop a man from withdrawing because he’s feeling rushed, you have to let things calm down and create the opportunity for the relationship to develop at a pace that feels good for both of you.
Ego plays a massive role in a guy's personality and so does the presence of a supportive partner. Just like you love to lean on his shoulder, make sure that yours is available when he needs one. Be supportive of the things he does and the things he believes in. Give him compliments and give his ego a slight boost whenever he is down. Slowly but surely, he will be addicted to the kick he gets every time he is with you. And as a bonus, this feeling will make him miss you every time he is away from you.
This is Dana I just want you to help with my issue. I met a guy I obsorved his character he is genuine, and kind to everyone. The thing is that he is making me to feel that he likes me but when I started to talk him as a friend, he just telling me tat he got crush on some one else & her age is 22 and few days after he Says tat he is loving a girl from the same premises and she is 24. I didn’t understand what he is trying to tell. My question for you is did he making to jealous or he just wants avoid me.
Same thing happened to me a few days ago. We have been on and off dating for 7 years and this last time, we were actually together for almost four solid years. He’s been having a tough time with work and we were having troubles with finances. I came home one day and he asked if I ever questioned our relationship. I knew it was coming, I googled “how to tell if your boyfriend is going to break up with you” just a few days before. I have not contacted him unless it was something about moving out (we were living together about 8 months and I’ve already moved back into my parent’s house) I have been obsessively scouring the web on ways to get your boyfriend back and it means a lot to me that other people are going through the same thing right now. If you ever need to talk, I am here.
Thanks for your reply. To be clear, I wasn't attacking the entire article, just the particular comment. I think you need to be more careful and critical of what type of evidence you cite. Just because Mr Laumann has credentials doesn't make everything he says true (appeal to authority is a logical fallacy). James Watson (a nobel prize laureate) also said that Africans were less genetically less intelligent. Does that make it true? Scientists are also humans and they can have racist or sexist biases. Mr Laumann is obviously sexist. I mean, is there a study which proves that men leave their wives to die alone in nursing homes? That is inaccurate and doesn't reflect reality. Most of the women that I've met in nursing homes were widows whose husbands had died a few years earlier. Most men value their marriages and wouldn't walk out on a 30 plus year marriage for purely sexual reasons. Also, I think it is offensive to imply that men are pigs who care about nothing but sex (why is sex #1 for men and #4 for women?) While good sex is truly important and essential for men, I doubt that it's the #1 factor in long-term relationships.

If you feel confident at this point that you want things to be serious, go ahead and tell them, Trespicio says. "Explain what kind of relationship you want and why, defining what commitment means for you without giving an ultimatum." If they aren't open to a discussion, let them mull it over for a couple weeks. But if they still don't respond when you bring it up again, it may be time to rethink the relationship. "You have to decide which you want more: someone who's committed or this person, even if he won't ever be," Trespicio says.


My first boyfriend actually hated himself and was suicidal, and no matter what I did to support him and how much I loved him, I couldn’t actually make him love himself. And to be honest it ended up affecting me too and with other life circumstances (friendsh*ts, bad relationship with my mom at the time) I got so depressed myself that I also had suicidal thoughts. It was horrible. And it`s been some time and things have changed for me, but I just wanted to say I`ve both seen and learned myself the importance of self love and being committed to ourselves!

You can’t simply think about committing to someone if you aren’t in love. You may have a crush, but you need some time to start falling in love. We want a serious relationship and someone to share our dreams, but it is not all about taking that step and getting what you want. The more important thing is with whom you will be taking that step. If he’s the right man for you, and still keeps his distance, then proceed to next steps.
You guys are in the exact same situation as what i am in right now, we’ve been broken up a bit over a week now after being together for over a year. He was going through a tough time and struggling with mental health issues and decided that even though I was willing to stick by him and love him no matter what, that he needed to help himself before he could let anyone else help him. I was so upset but understood that when he said he needed some time to get himself right, thats what he needs. So I am giving him some space, we spoke last night to catch up but it was him initiating it and asking how I was.. I left it a day before I replied and he seemed like he genuinely cared. I hope things work out, he is seriously the loveliest, most caring, generous and funny person I know and we got along so well. I really hope that focusing on myself for a while and allowing him to do the same will be exactly what he needs.. I just hope we find our way back to each other soon as I miss him very much.

Now I just want to add, the best way to do this is to actually be busy with your life so much so that you’re not glued to your phone waiting for him to text, as opposed to pretending to have a full life when really you’re just sitting at home waiting for him to text and then not responding for a certain amount of time to make it seem like you’re busy with other things.
I’ve been seeing a guy for about six months now. Everything in the relationship is great- we get along, we have fun together, we just get each other. The only thing is he won’t commit to me. He said he wasn’t hooking up with anyone else, only me, but he’s not ready to use titles.  I know his last relationship ended badly, so that might be part of it. I just don’t get it, the relationship is so great in every way aside from this.
Adam, can you, please, respond shortly to us, the ones we posted replies in here? At least a quick guidance about what you think the missing point of the big picture is in each of us situations! I don’t want to post a reply again on you tube. I just bought your book and another program, but until I will have the time to go through the entire thing and figure myself out WHERE I did wrong/or WHERE HE doesn’t pick up the pace, I could really use your educated smell that says it as it is! My guy is at work every time I run into him…he is Police, yeah, Mr. Police, but he is NOT ashamed to squeeze his head after me though, he just wanna make sure I don’t see him lately after he pulled off…so I don’t think he is not making the move bc the “work thing”….am I missing anything?

You must have asked yourself, ‘What are the ways to make my boyfriend miss me and want to see me?’ Well the thing is you just have to make him comfortable around you. If the two of you haven’t met in such a long time then your boyfriend could be feeling a little bit awkward. Make sure he is feeling comfortable when he’s with you as comfort will be something that he will remember when he misses you. Tell him these Cute Things to Say to Your Boyfriend to Make His Heart Melt.


I hope that women or men in the world don’t apply this article to their relationship. If someone distances themselves from you then they just don’t want to put effort into it. Therefore, it’s best to get away from that person as soon as possible. There are many others that will show 10 times the effort. Don’t fall into this social construction that, if your partner distances themselves, just act like everything is okay and force yourself to be happy with them.
Everything went well…we were soo deep in conversations…but the only thing we did was we dint confide each other that we were in love with each other….i was too afraid to….and he loves texting me often…and he says im damn cute in my photos…pulls my leg often…and we chat day and night…he says im his bestiee…all of a sudden he started replying me in one word texts like ohhh’s and hmm’s which drove me mad….i dunno wat conclusion to make…may be he has found me boring and too available….i love him soo much and it really hurts if he doesn’t chat with me as before….i went offline for a month…and going offline will make him miss me??? Will that make him crave for my presence!! Pls…help me somebody..im dying everyday

I started a relationship slow with this guy. We fell in love said we were everything to one another. He just started a new job and his ex started giving him his kids all the time. He also takes classes a couple nights a week busy schedule. He informed me his kids come first period. Anyway he was having issues getting transportation so I helped consign for a car which he’s making the payments on. This was three weeks ago.. I saw him last night because he dropped me money for the car. Which I should of never did already know. He proceeds to tell me that he doesn’t have time for a relationship yet he loves me and cares about me. From three weeks ago to talking about having kids w me to now he has no time for me. I do know his schedule and it’s crazy. So he texted me last night to check on me and I lied said I was out and he goes checking on you. I said Thanks im fine. He then tells me gn and love ya not love you like he normally does. This morning he texts me again good morning hope you have a great day taking the girls to a b day party. Keep in mind been seeing him three months haven’t met his kids. Then around noon he texts me hope you having a great day. I haven’t replied to him at all. He said last night let thing settle for him if we are both single still then we can try again. Yet he’s telling me about his day and I have a damn car payment he Will be dropping off once a week that I don’t know how to handle if I do no contact. I feel lied to and used st this point. I am doing the no contact rule but unfortunately a little hard when hes going to drop off payments to me and we have to correspond bc of the car. What do


The good news is not only is this common—but there’s a way to handle this tricky situation effectively. After all, when you first enter a relationship, there’s sure to be plenty of new boyfriend advice from your friends, your family and your co-workers. But of all of these words of wisdom, the one you want to take the most seriously are the tactics that stop a man from withdrawing from your relationship. How come? As experts explain, sometimes the way a woman communicates her feelings to her partner may make him distance himself even more.
I felt betrayed because he gave me a promise ring telling me he wants to be with me and in the beginning of the relationship he was scare I would leave him and now the tables have been turned and has already happened. I haven’t contacted him since I have been trying to keep my phone away and distract myself what I want to know is can I still salvage it ??

He will definitely notice that you’re not as available as you once were, and it will add just the right amount of fear into the situation. Your guy will be worried that another guy will snag your attention, and it will definitely cause him to spring into action. Knowing that other men are attracted to you will definitely make your guy take the next step by finally asking you to be in a committed relationship with him!
My boyfriend of a year and I has gotten into the second fight of our relationship. Like really over the top. Drinking was involved and he said some pretty hurtful things n it became physical on my end. I then proceeded to say some hurtful things. And I know they hurt because it hurts me to even think of what I said. Four five days went by of no contact. I reached out to him via private call. He answered and it was stale. You could hear he was happy to hear my voice but you can tell he didn’t want to talk. So I presumed in asking if I could stop by to see him later. He said yea and he’ll call when he got home. I guess he never made it home because he never called lol. J/k.
Lastly, until your guy finally comes to his senses and realizes that you’re the girl from him, don’t stop dating other men. Keep your options open even if you’re not particularly interested in these other guys. If you keep your social calendar full of dates with others, you will be less worried about what your guy is doing, and you won’t be so preoccupied with things moving from casual into a committed relationship.

The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

My boyfriend and I dated 4 months and he officially broke up with me yesterday. I begged him to stay but he wouldn’t. And he told me not to text him. Just not yet. He told me to give him some space and that we are never getting back together. The reason we fought was because he mostly makes plan with his friends and he no longer makes plan with me. We texted short texts everynight and we do see each other either at my place or his place once every two or three weeks. I told him that I want to date like other couples like going on dates and stuffs. Because when we first started dating, he took me to many dates and then during the summer, he started working and he got busy. I understand that. But during the weekend, he would spend time with his friends and he would text me and I wasn’t happy with that and I talked to him about it and he got frustrated. My ex always have problem with relationship. Like he is not really into it and before me, he said he would never date. But then when we got to know each other, he told me that he fell for me and that’s why he asked me out. But I feel like he started to change after he started working which was the begining of the summer. I don’t know if it was because he got busier or if he no longer liked me. I asked him and he said he still liked me and he just got busier. But to me, it doesn’t feel like he likes me. We no longer went on dates. He no longer being affectionate towards me. And my ex is like really emotionless. Not that he doesn’t have emotions, he is just trying not to have it. He said having emotion or feeling attached to things or people are hard. I talked to him about spending time too much with his friends and that’s how we broke up. He cried when we broke up. Is there a chance we would get back together? I really don’t know what’s going on anymore.
Answer: Cut him loose. If you think that he’s cheating on you or is interested in someone else, don’t pursue him. If you take the time to step back and he doesn’t show any effort to reel you back in, then, either way, it wasn’t meant to be. If you think that he’s attracted to another woman, find someone who will be fully committed to loving you. [Read: Should you ever forgive a cheating partner?]
My point is, this isn’t a trick you pull to “get” someone to commit and then stop. Because the day you stop is the day you give up. It’s the way you live your life together — can you think of a better way than to continue to impress and engage and deserve each other? I can’t. The key is to practice that NOW, not so you can stop doing it when you find someone, but so you can really start.

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When you first fall for a guy, it’s all about lust. A massive release of endorphins and dopamine, a chemical reaction, that makes you want each other more. By snuggling with your man, you can create that same intrinsic need that makes him want you and love you more. You will be programmed into his brain and that’s going to make him miss you and love you more. So snuggle up and make it happen!
Even if he doesn’t realize it at first, he will eventually learn that he has more minute-by-minute fun with you than he does with other women – other women who spend too much time trying getting a commitment out of him through pressure and nagging. In the end, he is going to follow his heart…and his heart always follows the most intense feelings and experiences—the memories of laughter, talking, and excellent conversation.
So I took the initiative of stopping by before he was to leave for work the next morning, me being pressed. We kinda talked but it reverted to me acting crazy and being accused of starting the altercation. He said doesn’t want the relationship anymore and we can just be friends. I was then n am now hurt. I shed a few tears . I asked if I could have a kiss since our 1yr relationship was over n he said no. He then said I’ll kiss your cheek. I opted for it and after asked if I could kiss his cheek back. He agreed and as I reached for his cheek the damn water works shot out like a lightning vult. I then grabbed his whole face while hugn, kissn, and cryn on his cheek, he proceeded to turn and kiss me and it felt like a rebirth. I then stated to just leave and head to work while I walked away. Heeeelp
In my own research, I find that women are a slightly more faithful group, as confirmed by talks with sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. He says that just 14 percent of ever-married women report having had an extramarital affair over their lifetime, as compared with 22 percent of men.

After 4 years my boyfriend broke up with me via text. We were friends before dating and he is my best friend. I asked if we could talk and he agreed. He texted he loved me and said we would find a time to talk the following week. I haven’t heard from him since he was checking texts (I did text as I thought we were going to talk) but has blocked me now. He still has some personal items of mine that I can’t imagine he is keeping if he doesn’t want to contact me. I am heartbroken. This happened approximately 2 months ago and I am on 19 days of no contact which is killing me. I honestly think he might be seeing someone else but I don’t know that for sure. I miss my best friend above anything else. I have never been in a state of despair as I am over this.
I hope everything works for you, MissPeru. I spent a year in a long distance relationship (Taiwan and the United States), and it was not an easy thing to do. The only thing that helped in my case was the knowledge that we would eventually live near each other again. By the way, what is it that he does for work that takes so much focus? Did he ever plan on moving to be closer to you?
Guys don’t know exactly what it is, but suddenly their instincts are telling them to get away. This usually occurs at the point where the woman could no longer keep the act up. Maybe she’s trying to appear cool and go-with-the-flow, but in her mind she’s already thinking of ways to turn a relationship that’s really nothing at this point into something. From that point forward, it’s not easygoing and natural, it’s her measuring if she is getting closer or further from her goal.
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