Im currently dating a black guy for 4months! I love him dearly. In the beginning we couldn’t get enough of each other! but lately when I phone he don’t pick up the phone and phones later on. I remember he didn’t have a car so that was his excuse when he didn’t show, but now he has a car, now his excuse is that his business is booming! and cant drop the clients. Weekends I don’t see him then its his buzzy time – and if I see him its only for 20minutes . We don’t have time together. I know in his culture the men don’t see the women but why does our relationship only come from one side and its me that doing all the effort! I really don’t know where we stand!

So im a year younger than him, hes off back home from uni and next year he is moving to a uni closer to home, it turns out hes going to the uni ive wanted to go to since i was 14 but i wont be going uni for annother year after, he finally decided 2 week before he goes home that he doesnt want to be with me as the long distance thing wont work though its like half an hour on the train, and not to long ago we was making plans about me going down to see him he says its not that im not worth it but that we both constantly will be unhappy and paranoid and worrying tho he litrally lives a 40 min bus drive away now and it was never a problem. I cant help but feel like theres annother reason tho he swears theres not. Its very fresh and im yet to get my belongings so the no contact phaze isnt in action but ild like to know if it would work for a situation that involves distance, and well unis not exactly filled with classyness when it comes to relationships ect.alls i want is for him to atleast try and make a go of things, even if it doesnt work out it would mean ild know we tried and theres nothing we could of done. Hope you can help

Is there another possible explanation for what seems like hot and cold behavior? Yes! If it’s not something new going on in his life that’s changed his routine, it could be about your relationship. It’s possible his feelings are dwindling, but it’s also possible he’s just settling into a more natural routine now that he feels the relationship is more settled.
Everyone recognizes when someone has an agenda, it’s just something our intuition picks up on and it immediately puts us off. Think about how you feel when someone approaches you and tries to sell something. Your first instinct is typically to get far away from them. It doesn’t matter how nice and friendly they are, you can’t trust them because you know they want something out of you.
My first boyfriend actually hated himself and was suicidal, and no matter what I did to support him and how much I loved him, I couldn’t actually make him love himself. And to be honest it ended up affecting me too and with other life circumstances (friendsh*ts, bad relationship with my mom at the time) I got so depressed myself that I also had suicidal thoughts. It was horrible. And it`s been some time and things have changed for me, but I just wanted to say I`ve both seen and learned myself the importance of self love and being committed to ourselves!
Hi Ray! Thank you very much for the male perspective. I am dating a man who is 11 years older, I’m 26 and he is 37. He works out in the ocean and a lot of times we have minimal conversation via text/call. But when we are together everything is great and we get along very well. When he doesn’t have to wake in the wee ours or work out of town, he is with me every single weekend. We have been together six months and I have met all his close friends and friends kids. I have done well so far in respecting his space. When he’s a weekend with his guy friends, I am understanding and just ask him to contact me once when he is back in town so he feels he is not missing out on what he loves. However, this past weekend he had a sailboat race on the weekend which he let me know in advance and we had plans for friday night. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. I was emotionally unstable that weekend due to some work stress and family leaving so I needed him the most that friday. I did not think of my actions and instead of politely rescheduling for Monday, I blew him up – sent him various texts showing how I did not appreciate he canceled although it wasn’t his fault. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. On Sunday I was so desperate that I passed by his house. His roomate was there and told me he hand’t come home yet. Since I blew him up friday, I have had no response to any of my texts nor has he answered any of my calls. I am very afraid that I scared him away and threatened his freedom. I also came out as desperate for going to his place. Today is Wednesday and I hadn’t reached out till Sunday. I sent him a very short/casual text apologizing for taking out my stress on him and for not letting him have his space, to which I got no response. I am going to wait a few days and hopefully he will come around, as our relationship has matured and he’s told me how much he cares for me. Did I blow this up completely since it has been 4 days with no response?
Hello,I broke up with my boyfriend year ago ,we were together for 5 years ..I broke up with him …he was not calling he has done it once or twice n once on WhatsApp ! Last month he got married !! I don’t know how to make him miss me again I love him n I know he loves me back !! Any chance hell come back again ? I’m dying crying out my heart for him ! But i sent him only one statement after seeing his marriage photo on Facebook n he replied ! Since then I decided not to talk to him again (the no contact rule ) what else should I do ?

Get a guy to commit by being loved by everyone around him. Get on the good side of his parents and friends. This will give him a well needed nudge to make him realize that you are a keeper. Moreover, if they like you, they’ll always be positive around you and spread that positivity onto him as well. They too will give him that nudge. He will love you even more if he sees that the people he loves, are impressed by you. This is one of the greatest goals you need to achieve if you are trying to get him to commit to a relationship. A relationship is only fair and successful if both of your lives are intertwined and fit in like each piece of the puzzle. That’s why you need to take some time to get to know his family and friends, as this will lead you to get to know more about him, and we all know how relatives and friends love to reveal little tid bits from his bachelor life. And we love to hear those, don’t we?

What I am going to share with you now is the most common reasons being men’s disappearing acts! As you read through this article, it’s essential that you understand that men are natural born hunters who enjoy the chase. If he is interested in having you as his girlfriend, he will show you this with his actions. Be careful to never settle for a man that isn’t giving you 100% with his actions but is saying everything with his words. This is where a lot of women run into trouble in their search for a good man. Pay attention to his actions more than his words.
High levels of stress can do many things including destroy relationships.  If the stress of commitment is getting to him you may find him pulling away until it clears.  If you chase after him in you could find the result is that you have pushed him clear out of your life.  Give him space and time to think.  Be available but create that mystique that found him seeking you out in the first place. i.e Just be You

You were the kind who used to put the entire world on hold to attend his call. Not anymore. Pick up his calls, but not every time. Give him an excuse that you were busy, and that you didn't notice he called. Don't be too rude or blatant, but tell him you have been occupied. Let him ring you. Talk to him sometimes, but in brief. For once, he'll wonder what the heck is up with you all of a sudden, but once he realizes that you aren't that available now, he'll be left with no other choice but to miss you, and wait till you get back.
We all know that distance makes the heart grow fonder. When we are together all the time with someone, it can become quite boring and even annoying after a while, depending on the relationship. Being together constantly can take a huge toll on how you feel about each other, which is why experts recommend that giving each other reasons to miss each other may just be the best thing that you can do for your relationship.

There’s a huge difference between being interested in the person you’re with and being obsessive/clingy. If you’re sending him 100 text messages a day asking where he’s at or why he’s not answering you, trying to see him every minute of every day, or going overboard to show him how much you care about when the relationship is fairly new, you might be pushing him away from you. Men don’t want a clingy lady. They want a woman who is secure and independent but still shows that she cares in a subtle and sensual way.
You may want to have a unique scent for your date nights and one for your holidays, or you may want to have a unique scent for when you get busy in the bedroom. That scent can be lightly sprayed on something when you are gone, and if he catches a whiff of it, you will be the first thing to enter his mind. The more he associates that scent with good times, the more he will miss you.
This is an important point to mention, because men who persist in overtly negative behavior in your presence are antagonizing you. They’re testing you to see whether you will tolerate being taken for granted or if you’re going to call them on it. A woman of class and self-respect WILL walk away, because she’s not interested in any man that gives her less than 100% of his full attention.
    "'We' is a state of mind and heart. It means that wherever one partner is, the other is present in their thoughts. Partners who consider themselves a 'we' act that way. When you talk to partners who live with and in the heart of their beloved, you experience that commitment in every way they present themselves. They communicate a pride in belonging to their partner. It's a powerful feeling of 'us' over anyone or anything else.
I was in a friends with benifits relationship and after a couple of months i told him i loved him i knew he didnt feel that way for me but i was ok with it . We spent alot of time together alot of sex and got on a rutine i would stay over night one day a week and we did dinner and drinks watch games etc i thought things were great. Then he needed space blew me off for the weekend and now barly talks to me he is 54 and in am 47 at our age we know what we want but i do love him and just dont know what to do i tried to talk to him and he just says he needs space.. do you think he is not coming back? Do you think hes scared ? I dont know what to do
When you quit the drug, you feel a profound low. You might feel lethargic, like you have no energy and no real spring in your step. You might see pictures of your ex boyfriend or be driving, hear a song on the radio and end up crying in a ball of tears… a general sense of sadness might make your entire body hurt when you even think of the breakup. Anything that reminds you of him will bring up this overwhelming sadness and possibly even regret.
Its the same with me. I’m scared, we’re in the same college and we have mutual friends, i feel like if i dont talk to him, hell get used to his life without me. i want him to realize that he loves me and that he wants us to get back and be happy. its his birthday in a week, and i thought of giving him a sketch of both us and a love letter, because a letter telling him to give it another shot would probably annoy him, i dont know if i should go through with this or not. he said the breakup was because we kept fighting over the same issues. and honestly, if it was somebody else i wouldve let go, but i just know i love him and i feel like were meant to be. please help me out.

Fidelity is an absolute must. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship — even when the going gets tough. Women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work on a relationship, and that when the going gets tough, they run.


Getting a man to miss you can be tiring, so make sure you have the patience for it. Also, remember, men love to chase you, so give him something to work for. And if that's not enough to get a guy to miss you, we recommend you read James Bauer's Respect Principle, his best-selling relationship guide basically hypnotizes men to fall and stay in love with you with 1, dead-simple tip.

It’s finally happening: you met a man you’re compatible with, you really like him, and the feeling is mutual. He’s showering you with attention, making plans to see you, making time to call you, and generally letting you know that he’s so happy to have found you. How does a man act when he’s falling in love? Just like this—and you’ve never been happier, or more thankful, to have him by your side.
Women have an innate desire to be heard and understood. They want a partner who will listen to them without judgment and who will create an environment where they feel comfortable expressing vulnerability. Some of the best relationship advice for men is learning to master the skill of empathy. There are many ways to be empathetic, which include active listening, suspending any judgment or preconceived notions you may have about a given situation and putting yourself in her shoes, and showing positive body language to let her know that you’re engaged in the conversation.

One such expert is James Bauer, an experienced dating and relationship coach. Not only does he know exactly why men do this, but as a result of so many of his female clients coming to him with this very problem, he has also developed a very effective solution that he has taught to hundreds of women who are now having the relationship success they deserve.
What do you mean exactly by taking a step back? Seeing each other every few weeks already seems like a fairly large step back. How often do you guys talk during the day? Sometimes, talking on the phone or computer is what actually takes up the most time. Before you can figure out how to keep the relationship going, you need to figure out what you mean by taking a step back. Do you mean just talking on the weekends? Or only talking for a maximum of 30 minutes a day? I think that if you do not bother him too much (Which, let’s be honest, happens to just about everyone after a break up) with texts and calls, I think that he will start to miss you. If he is as perfect for you as he says, then he will end up thinking about you just as much or more after the break up. If I were you, I would just tone down the messages and calls. Wait for him to come around, and if he does not, you know that the relationship is over.
It started with a fwb situation (about a year ago ) and a few months back he started asking for more . We see each other about once a week. He has two jobs and has his child every weekend so fitting in time is tough . Things have been going well and escalating . Lately we have been communicating at least once , if not several, times a day. We saw each other 5 days ago and I haven’t heard anything from him …I did send him 2 short but sweet (no pressure ) text messages telling him I was thinking of him. He has read both but not responded . When we were together last we had a great time per usual. He said he loved me for the first time (and in messages earlier in the day he told me he was only seeing me ) . He had started the 2nd job this week and looked exhausted when I saw him .do you think he could just be stressed or did he freak himself out by telling me how he felt. Or does it sound like he’s backing out ,Five days is a long time for him .
In other words: he becomes the center of your world and ultimately, that makes him even more distant. When a man senses that you’re so invested in him and how he feels about you, he becomes turned off. He was attracted to you in the first place because you had a life outside of him. He loved the fact that you made yourself responsible for your own happiness.
The truth is that if you have lost your identity, then you will feel like your relationship, and your man, is the reason you are living. That’s going to scare the hell out of any man. You will have forgotten that you are your own person in life on your own path and, that no matter how scary it can be at times, you are the only one who you will be with every second of your life. It’s important to maintain your identity.
I'm in year 6 don 12 were the same age and have a really cute story but....he is in high school so I don't see him as much I would like anymore I cry about him most nights tell my friends but they got there own relationship problems but at least they get to see there boy friends. I miss him so much but when I'm around him now I get shy because he haven't seen each other in a month we use to be our full one selves around each other we both made really weird jokes witch we would only normally tell our friends cuz they were really dirty. I'm sorry but this tips didn't work as much I want them to If u find a way to help me see him and fix our relationship please reply. Babe if your out there I miss you

You can tell if you’re lacking empathy when you hear responses from your partner like:  “You’re always trying to fix things,“ or “I just want you to listen,” or “You just don’t understand.” Non-empathic behaviors make her feel like she’s alone, that you don’t understand her, or that she can’t rely on you to help her overcome issues. On the other hand, conveying true empathy makes her feel as if the two of you are in this together. You’re a unit, a team, and you can work through challenges together.


The best thing about being in love is that you get to share your life with somebody you care about. Being in a relationship itself is all about depending on each other – but things can take a frustrating turn if one of the partners becomes needy. Would you like it if you had a possessive boyfriend to deal with? Assuming the answer is no, if you find yourself heavily depending on your guy for just about everything, you should take a time out and give your relationship a fresh twist. Show him that you are an independent person just like him, who can get things done in the same way, if not better.
I felt betrayed because he gave me a promise ring telling me he wants to be with me and in the beginning of the relationship he was scare I would leave him and now the tables have been turned and has already happened. I haven’t contacted him since I have been trying to keep my phone away and distract myself what I want to know is can I still salvage it ??
This article shows you all the best ways to make him miss you, now in any relationship I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
My boy friend broke up with me I was needy and upset but calmed down he went out of state to work. It when he came back in town he stayed with me and we had sex it was rumored that he may be trying to date other women but when I asked him and said no problem be truthful he denies having any involvement with any one else . In 2 weeks I’m flying up to stay with him for a long weekend he seems excited but made I made a comment that I would not have sex with him if he was dating other women and that I had feelings for him and was not his friend . He in return said that he didn’t want to date anybody I’m assuming that includes me but then acted jealous when I made a comment about an actor on tv and expressed how i didn’t let him covey his feelings in our relationship. I love him and would like to rekindle things what do you think

I received a Facebook message from his ex girlfriend last Sunday asking if I was his girlfriend then told me she had been sleeping with him. I confronted him and he begged me for a second chance and I gave it to him. Three days later he tells me he loves everything about our relationship and me but isn’t sure if he’s in love with me because he doesn’t know what that feels like and ended our relationship because he says he knows he’s going to hurt me again and isn’t happy with himself enough to give to a relationship. Devasted I haven’t contacted him since and yesterday after less than a three days of being broken up he unfollowed me on Instagram but he watched my story. We had an amazing connection and he said he meant everything he said to me including wanting me to be his wife and my face being the last he sees before he dies, but he’s feels like he’s not able to fully commit to me. I don’t know what is going on in his head, he’s so gentle with me but he broke my heart and I was willing to forgive him and I almost think that was the wrong move.., help
Sometimes the man you’re missing is yours, and you want to stay in his mind. There are many things you can do to ensure he’ll think of you. Have you ever cleaned your room and found an old movie stub or small item and had memories rush back? It’s amazing what a tiny item can do. Make a point of leaving a small memento behind in your man’s car or house. When he sees that earring or hair clip, you’ll come to mind, and he’ll want to see you that much more. DO NOT leave behind a toothbrush or other items that are of an intimate nature because this will surely cause him to panic. Think cute when it comes leaving a little piece of you at his place and he won’t be able to take his mind off of you.
Why men pull away in most relationship when women are demanding and this is just an early stage of a relationship. Most women act this way without even realizing it. Being demanding means they demand for a commitment at a very early stage of their relationship. The key is to take it slow and give your boyfriend some time to take the relationship to next level. Men are usually slower when it comes to take relationship to next level, until it’s a love at first sight. Not only men but also any human being will not like if their partner is demanding with them and ask for more than what they can do. It creates dis-balance in a relationship and is also one of the reasons why most men pull away in a relationship.
I met my BF six months ago. I thought things were going great. If he needs me to do things for him I do if I can. Usually because of our work schedules we only see each other on the weekends so I am not crowding him. We have never had a bad argument although he has made me mad before I get over things quickly. Then out of the blue he stopped calling and returning my calls. Was he hurt or dead? I drove to his house and knocked. No answer although his truck was there. I left a note but haven’t heard back. It’s been two weeks. I’m very hurt and confused. I feel like I could be okay with giving him space if he had said he needed space. At least then I wouldn’t have to speculate. I had told him I loved him and maybe he freaked out. But I believe if you feel it. Should say it because tomorrow is not promised and I don’t want to regret not saying it. FYI my BF is twice divorced. Maybe that’s why he’s freaked.
To do it, don’t call and let him know you are going to be late. Instead, wait about 30 to 45 minutes after you are supposed to be home to send him a message that you are running late at work, or in traffic, or wherever you are. That will be enough time to make him start to wonder where you are and think about you, but not too much time where it will seem rude that you didn’t bother to let him know what was going on.
So my ex girlfriend broke up with me and she was in a new relationship about a week after she wanted to meet for vacation. She posted on Facebook the new relationship they exchanged I love yous on there so they must of had some friendship before. I was last out to visit long distance relationship in May and then June. June started out I love you first few days then ended up giving ring back after we were both a distant from each other. She grabbed my leg rubbed back of neck on drive to airport so she Was struggling with it or testing me. She contacted me a few times after saying she missed me was a mistake to let me go or she did it so I didn’t have to leave my family. Then 3 days after she wanted to vacation together, she said forget it, was emotional pms and little hung over. Then 7 days later new post on new bf.
Hello, so my ex and I broke up on weird terms. He’s very egoistic and prideful and jealous. He’s not one to show emotions and he’s not one to communicate when something bugs him. He leaves me in limbo. He’s the biggest mommas boy and I know there’s a huge disadvantage on my behalf because he lets his mom run his thoughts and controls him. He’s also the idiot that lets himself And doesn’t grow up.

If your relationship has gone past the early stages and your man has stopped buying you presents, taking you places and generally is not being as romantic as he was with you in the beginning, then this does not necessarily mean that he is pulling away. He may just feel more comfortable with you and subconsciously feel that he is showing you love and affection in different ways.
It’s not breaking news that men are visual creatures. You can capitalize on this by always putting in extra effort when you know you’re going to see him. Depending on how well you know what he likes, you can even cater to his particular quirks. For example, some guys go crazy for red lipstick and a pony-tail. Others like loose hair and a natural look. If you happen to know his preferences, there’s nothing wrong with playing to them. If he knows that you know and that you’re doing this on purpose, this has an added element of flirtation.
Imagine you go on a couple dates with a guy, and the chemistry is awesome. You have loose plans to hang out the following weekend. But then, he goes silent for the weekend. You’re puzzled because things went really well on the dates, but you play it cool because you’re a sexy, single lady and you don’t invest more emotionally in a guy than he’s investing in you.
Build yourself up emotionally; accept how he has come to “view himself”; but, whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to succumb to his self serving subtle bigotry. Cry, if you must, but please don’t try to hold on to him. And, by the grace of God get out sooner than later while your children don’t really know the difference. He isn’t going to get better… . He knows what he is doing; so, you must learn what you must do for you and your children. Put a plan in place…contact a domestic violence shelter. Here is a good book to read. It’s entitled, “I Closed My Eyes.”
If you sense that all your efforts to improve your relationship are not bearing fruit, don’t delay the inevitable.  Yes, being single can appear scary at first, but better alone than stuck in a relationship that is draining the joy and spark out of you.  You don’t want to wake up at fifty or sixty years old to discover that you’ve wasted your love on a guy that never appreciated what you had to offer.
People I have told this to have told me to just forget about him, that he wasn’t even real, but I don’t believe that and I am having a hard time just letting it go. I know we had a special connection, and there is a part of me that is still holding on and hoping there is a chance down the road for us to at least be friends, but I am afraid I completely ruined it. I was wrong for how I acted but he also did ghost and bail on me, so my question is – do I reach out to him again and acknowledge that I f**d up with my crazy behavior?? Do I try to make it right? Or do I give it more time and then try? Or do I wait for him? Part of me feels like I may never hear from him again if I don’t reach out, but the other part of me thinks that he knows that I feel horrible and I shouldn’t reach out to him because it still hasn’t been enough time.

You are aware that this relationship will be long distance for a minimum of two years. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Decide if this relationship is viable. It is important for him to focus on his work, as Cyprus is currently an unsafe environment. Share your thoughts and feelings with him. Give him a chance to do the same. Have a great day, Jane!
In short, when you see that your crush or boyfriend is pulling away, you pull away too. Do not contact him. Concentrate on your own growth, reflect on what you’ve learned from the dynamics of the relationship and move forward with your personal goals. Be clear about your expectations and your needs. If they aren’t met, then move on and see if he’ll ever come around… Because if he doesn’t, I am sure someone else will!

I see some interesting points here re men withdrawing from relationship at times. It’s what we do. On occasion we need “me” time for simple reason we just do. Too many women see this as rejection when, in reality, we are just doing or evaluating our situation and who we are with. All perfectly normal behaviour. We will surprise you, if you let us. We also desire our mates time together so we can bond. It’s what Men do. I believe in any relationship both parties should be with their friends only not as a couple. It makes the relationship stronger. For sure Men as a collective WILL look at other Women and comment on them. Again it’s what we do. If any partner says he doesn’t do this then he is a liar. Looking is fine. Touching isn’t. Please avoid planning “our” week without checking with me first otherwise resentment will present itself. I see some comments on “he is in the Doghouse” and I’ve brought my boys up to respect women blah blah blah. All very well and nice in right context but reading between lines I sense control and “I’m the Boss” in the relationship. Dangerous ground. He will suffer it in silence but over time he will resent you for it a very fine line to balance on. In short men expect Women to be soul mates but there are simple things too he will appreciate.

Hey there. If I may, I’d like to say that we are currently in a similar situation with the ‘ex-guy-comes-back-and-the-two-of-us-starts-dating-again.’ And I can understand the emotional roller coaster you are going through and the feeling of tiredness is not new to me most particularly since I am in my last year of getting my law degree. The stress arising from thinking about his slow reaction time to my texts, and the fact that we seldom go out together are driving me up against the wall. And so I finally but gently told him that I was seriously exhausted, not just because of him, and that I needed to focus on myself first so I was implying that I would be leaving him out there for awhile while I do my own thing.

My ex and I were together for 2 and a half years and spoke for four years, we broke up nearly two years ago and I ended it as I didn’t feel it anymore but then I really regretted it months later and all that time he was struggling to get over me he said then we had a year of not talking and then he reached out on my birthday and we’ve been texting since (my birthday was December) I also saw him on a night out and we hugged and we had a laugh and catch up and then his friends asked him to come home and he said I’ll see you in a bit to them and he stayed with me and then later on we hugged and went home with our own friends, but yeah we’ve spoke everyday since December and it’s long paragraphs but only 3 times a day and they aren’t flirty they are just conversations and have a laugh but I’ve not really sensed any flirting. But what does this mean? I know he cares about me as he said this ages ago but I don’t know feelings wise how he feels? I don’t want to ask as it would potentially ruin things or could backfire but I’m not sure as I can’t read the signs?
Lastly, until your guy finally comes to his senses and realizes that you’re the girl from him, don’t stop dating other men. Keep your options open even if you’re not particularly interested in these other guys. If you keep your social calendar full of dates with others, you will be less worried about what your guy is doing, and you won’t be so preoccupied with things moving from casual into a committed relationship.
The truth is that if you have lost your identity, then you will feel like your relationship, and your man, is the reason you are living. That’s going to scare the hell out of any man. You will have forgotten that you are your own person in life on your own path and, that no matter how scary it can be at times, you are the only one who you will be with every second of your life. It’s important to maintain your identity.
If you’re going through this situation right now, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Getting a guy to commit seems like one of the hardest things in the world. We’ve all heard stories about men being commitment-phobes who are deathly afraid of having their independence ripped away for them, so you can’t really blame the guy for dragging his feet when it comes to locking you down, can you?
I met in 2007 in the United States, I’m in Canada we met at a concert and for me, as soon as I saw him I knew I loved him. We hit it off and within a few weeks I was going to the states to visit him, we started dating and I was so happy, but because of the distance and him not being able to cross the boarder to come up and see me( he tried once) due to felonies in the states, I wasn’t able to go every weekend. He started to go down a bad path and got into drugs, I was always there for him even tho I didn’t know the extent of what he was doing. I told him I loved him, and he freaked out, we drifted apart and I was hurt.
Spending Saturday morning in the soup kitchen or helping an elderly person carry his groceries may help your partner see you in a more serious light. In a recent British study, people rated potential sexual partners to be more attractive for a long-term relationship if they had altruistic qualities. "Giving back to others shows your good heart and integrity, and although they may not consciously think that far in the future, partners are subconsciously assessing maternal traits in a woman to see what kind of mother she'd be," Kelman says. (Related: How to Use Social Media to Benefit Your Relationships)
Though it can be difficult to ask a man what he is looking for, it also challenges you to get one step closer to your goal. The more comfortable you are with this the easier it will become. I know that some people may not always take my advice to challenge themselves and ask the man what he is looking for, so I want to give you some other clues on what to pay attention to if you don’t want to have this conversation with him. Side note, I am in no way I offering you a pass to wiggle out of the conversation! Remember, challenge yourself.
I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend and I spend the night at his house very often. I spend so much time at his house that my family asks me if I'm going to move in with him. It just that when I leave to go to work, it feels like forever before I can see him again. It sounds super clingy because I know I'm going back home to him in the evening but it still stings. I miss him a lot. I'm currently at work missing him.
Sadly, too many men feel ashamed of themselves to feel worthy of a relationship and of raising children. I’ve heard and read this first-hand. I don’t understand it, but I very much believe it, especially after watching poor boys being berated and cursed by their single mothers — routinely — as “stupid”, “good-for-nothing”, “n*****”, and far worse. I cannot imagine the scars left by words like that *from their own parent*, usually accompanied by gestures and tones of voice that treat the child like intrusive trash. Maybe even more important is the inability of many men to hold jobs and to cultivate careers. Since the eighties, jobs and opportunities (for high school graduates) are truly constricted, and while some men will definitely overcome the odds, the fact is that it is impossible for all men to find the types of middle-class jobs American men thrived on yesteryear.
It sure is a beautiful feeling to finally find a man you think is perfect for you – loving, caring, sensitive, having a sense of humor and most importantly, respecting and accepting you for who you are. But unfortunately, he is not committing himself to an exclusive relationship with you, despite that there are very obvious signs he likes you. Or worse, he hasn’t given a clear response to your proposal to him, asking him to be your BF. Don’t fret. Asking a guy to commit takes time, and these tried and tested techniques will work wonders.
Now, I want to make this very clear: I am not saying you must be a certain weight or go out of your way to be a certain way to fit some societal idea of what is right. I am not saying this. I am simply being honest about how men are going to be the most attracted to you when you are in the best shape for you. I am talking about doing the best with your unique body shape that you can. healthy is hot. Again, healthy not emaciated or unhealthy. Try to invest time in what you eat and add some light working out to your routine. You will feel and look your best.
If your relationship has gone past the early stages and your man has stopped buying you presents, taking you places and generally is not being as romantic as he was with you in the beginning, then this does not necessarily mean that he is pulling away. He may just feel more comfortable with you and subconsciously feel that he is showing you love and affection in different ways.

My ex broke up with me by phone December 30. Things were good other than minor miscommunications which got annoying but we always talked it out after. December 29 we had sex and he took me out for dinner and things were good. Then the next day after making new years plans with him he said 2018 is approaching and will be busy with work and he felt we didnr communicate great so broke up with me over the phone. I was in shock and didnt know what to say so I asked if I could call him later to talk. He said okay but it wouldnt change his mind about his decision. I never contacted him because I was hurt then he sent me a long message apologizing, wishing me the best and if I ever needed someone to talk too he would be there for me. We have been dating officially since September 2017 but in an ongoing sexual relationship as if we were dating since june 2017. We spent this past christmas together with no problems and things were great.
As soon as your ex starts to miss you, he will start throwing out hints about the two of you meeting up. But if you really want a chance of getting him back into your life for good, you have to decline his invitations initially. Simply let him know you’re not yet ready for a face-to-face meeting, but you will contact him when the time is right. He’ll be on pins and needles waiting for you to finally ring him up and accept his invitation. This will make him miss you even more as he patiently waits for the day he can finally see you again. It’s up to you how long you plan on keeping your distance from him, but generally a month or two is more than enough time to drive him wild and reignite the spark between the two of you. Now the specifics depend on your situation but all you need to do for sure is give it time.
Hi! I was dating this guy for nearly a year. We go to the same small college and he is in the grade above me as the same major. We are each other’s first loves. Towards the end of our relationship he treated me like a “yo-yo”. He would push me away, then show interest, have sex, show interest then push me away again. It was a vicious cycle. I put him through a lot in the beginning of our relationship so he uses that as an excuse for the poor way he began to treat me. I was so vulnerable for this guy. I told him I would to anything for him, and I would change the things about myself that he did not like. It became unhealthy. We broke up and I finally started to just focus on myself again. My happiness is no longer relying on him. It has been a week since we have officially broke up (he broke up with me three times… i felt incapable of ending it… i didn’t want to leave things until i felt wanted… we were on and off… and this third time was our “final” time). He texted me, out of the blue, this morning and said “I can’t get you off of my mind”. I normally respond, but this time I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to fall into another trap, but it is so hard to simply just ignore. What do you think is best? We love each other, but right now we are just toxic for each other. I can’t deal with being pushed away and he can’t deal with my needy response. I’m so confused on what he wants with me. He never knew when he was with me and it killed me… I know I want him but his indecisiveness has caused this relationship to crumble. It just all seems like a chase! When I give him attention, he pushes me away, but when I don’t give him attention he begs for it back. I don’t want to play a game I just want to figure things out for my own peace of mind. Please help!
Hello I can imagine your going through a hard time trying to understand this guy. He’s confusing you because he’s confused himself. He has distanced himself because this is what guys do when they are thinking if they want to be with you or not. This also shows how he doesn’t care much about you and more about himself. He says these things like I miss you and all that stuff to make sure your still around for him as an option but does his words match his actions? If he missed you he woukd see you. Does he see you? No ? Then he’s not telling the truth he’s using words to keep you about for his own ego and loneliness. There’s a way u can find out if he wants to be with you or not and that’s by ignoring him he sends u a msg like I miss you can I talk to u or just hello no mater what his msg says u say nothing. A woman’s silence shows and expresses your hurt more than your anger and words do. This also gives him time to properly miss you and it also stops you looking easy in his eyes men want a challenge they want to chase so give him what he wants and don’t feel bad about it either he hurt you did he care ? Sounds like he didn’t.

If you think your man is pulling away from you, it's imperative that you take a moment to reflect on your own actions and behavior. After being completely honest with yourself, you can see if you're the one who's actually growing distant and shutting him out, and he's simply reacting to your behavior. If he's feeling unappreciated, unimportant to you, or taken for granted, he may pull away from you because he's not getting what he needs from you as a partner.

Maybe, what you need is to stop thinking about how long you’d have to wait for him to want to see you more and focus on yourself first. I know its difficult to stop. But I think what you need is to gently nudge him and tell him that you want to see him more often, but that you won’t wait around for him forever if he keeps up his slow reaction time to your needs. Men don’t understand what we women want from them sometimes unless they’re relationship experts so I suggest you give your guy a little unobtrusive push. :)
He was so sweet, romantic, a gentleman, fun, funny. He made my heart flutter. He tried to recreate my pose in the photo of me he had made his desk top photo. (I had made his photo my screen saver on my cell too. lol) He was doing things to keep my comfortable and told me he didn’t come all this way for sex and proved he wanted more. We were like best friends. So compatible.
My boyfriend broke up with me early this month. He tells me he still loves me but felt like things weren’t feeling right anymore. He didn’t have this feeling for long he said, but he did feel it. We got in a fight one day and that’s when we broke up. He’s told me multiple times he does miss me, and begged me to come over when he was drunk because he just wanted to see me. We used to spend every night together when he was home from school, so I thought maybe we just spent too much time together doing the same boring thing everyday so he got tired of the relationship and not me? We’re not talking right now but idk what to do. We haven’t went a whole week in the past two years without talking to each other. Do you think he’ll miss me enough to want me back?

You are in many ways his wife and his mistress in one person. You have perfect control over your emotions. You always present your “better self” to him. You avoid all the clingy behaviors that you know will turn him off. You’re friendly and mature…because you know you’re attractive. You don’t have to throw a tantrum just to keep his interest. No desperate tactics.
So Eric I’ve been talking to this guy almost 2 years. He says he likes me a lot but does not know what he wants we not in a relationship he enjoys my company a lot I like him too but need more.I think he’s confused some times it feels like he wants to and then next time he pulls away say he been hurt so much he’s not ready .Do u think it’s an excuse or what .I know he seeing other people but denies it .Please give me your opinion
Out of all other advice out there that I was reading, your information is the most that made perfect sense to me, you, at your young age, you have a lot of experience that you were able to collect, organize perfectly and,…help people! It’s an incredible collection that is easy to read, relate and understand, material, which is fun, no BS:), freely given, not always trying to sell another product, deep, personal, open, detailed, incredibly valuable, abundant and helpful not only in relationships between man and woman, but in life in general. When you write about having a particular mindset, you talk about things that was a missing ingredient for me when it came to decide that you really are above a lot of other so called relationship gurus!
I was with my ex for 8 months, he came on to me very quickly told me he loved me within 3 weeks (we would talk a lot, at his request) He called me all the time, texted me that he loved me like 10 times a day. Everything was good between us. He is a single father of a little girl, he has full custody of her so I know he was busy a lot that’s why I hardly called and waited for him to call me back. He would always call me back when he said he would and that made me feel secure because he was consistent. But in March I started getting a gut feeling something was wrong, he wasn’t calling me back like before, our nightly talks started diminishing and the last time we had sex it was bad. We only got to see each other on the weekends and would have our alone time every other week, so it bothered me. I asked him a couple of times if everything was ok and he would say yes but I felt him distant. One morning after not getting his 3:45am good morning text, I texted him to wake up and he replied oh sorry I forgot I was putting gas. My intuition was bugging me so bad , so I told him that I was not happy that he was changing and I didn’t know why. He said he knew we weren’t talking as much but that didn’t change his feelings for me but that he was “busy” all of a sudden he is to busy to talk to me. I knew right there that his feelings had changed for me. He told me to do whatever I wanted like if I was the only one in the relationship. So I broke it off over a text. How sad is that! I then text him later on in the day and told him that I didn’t like how things ended that we should talk and he replied “I’m sorry its not going to work out. I am not talking or seeing anyone, I apologized for everything I just need time for myself” We broke up April 6 and I’m still having a hard time. The last time I saw him I was upset at him we had an argument but he told me “I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m not a little boy I know what I want and its you” A week later we brake up and he doesn’t want me. We were planning on moving in, in June and we were actively trying to conceive baby. I feel broken and its been hard to move on. He hasn’t reached out to me after all the love he claimed to have for me. I fell in love with him and here I am broken while he has moved on with his life posting away on his Instagram. He is private but I can tell he has been actively been posting pictures. Has anyone been through something like this? I saw the red flags but I chose to ignore them, he had only been single for 2 months he lied about it, the way he came on to me so quickly acting needy wanting to talk on the phone for hours, telling me he loved me within 3 weeks of meeting each other. I’m not sure but I have a feeling he is seeing someone else that’s why he didn’t give a sh*t about our relationship at the end.
I get that regardless of the genre, we all go through difficult times and some of of Us need some time alone or space to clear our minds and regroup. However, i find really diaconsidered and selfish to vanish with no explanation. If you really care about the other person, you value their presence and the energy they put into you. Many paople take other for granted ans think they deserve understanding for this erratic behavior. I can assure you that a real grown up man or woman will take the time and effort to let you at least know that they are going through challenging times and they need to take some time off the normal rhythm of the relationship so you dont go through unnecessary pain and anxiety. Yes! Life is too short to waste it near unkind selfish people. There is no need for drama, that is why there will never be ok with people who dissapear and expect you to act real cool at anytime they want to come back! And yes! I can wait for someone who takes the time to tell me with honesty what is going !!!! The rest is total BS

But we had problem because after that week i went again to his town and he was angry at me because im not replying to his text messages. Its that the signal is too fucked up, we got delayed messages to each other. Then everything gets messy, im in his town but im staying at a different hotel, i wanted to talk to him to patch everything up but we dont have a time for each other because we are always out with friends. So i asked him to stay overnight at my hotel. We had intercourse again, we are in good terms but still want to talk to him :(( our time together is really short. Then i had to say goodbye, he told me that he will message me. I told him to text me on facebook so i can receive it. But after that, i havent heard anything from him. For a week. So i did is to sabe myself. I dont also communicate with him…
If you’re like most women out there who are dating but not yet in a serious relationship, it’s probable that you’re curious about how to get your current guy to commit. Perhaps it seems like it’s headed in that direction, but you want to be sure. Or maybe it’s something new and you want to know if and when it will have a future. It’s really confusing when a guy acts like he’s very interested in and cares about you, but he makes no steps to commit to you. Ladies, welcome to the club.
Your man wants to know you appreciate him for who he is and what he brings to the relationship. If you love him, make sure he knows. Keep in mind Dr. John Gottman’s 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interchanges. For every one negative remark you make, try to think of five positive things to say, to counteract the negative effects of a critical word. Try carving out a few minutes each day before bed where you share with your partner what you appreciate about him and why.
Don’t be confused by the earlier advice to not be overly available. By resisting the urge to jump for your phone the second he texts, you let a guy know not to take you for granted. That’s not the same as trying to make him view you as some magical being impossible to keep track of. When you value the rest of your life instead of constantly obsessing over your crush, you automatically become more desirable. This is genuine instead of manipulative, and eventually, a guy will pick up on which one you’re doing.
When you’re in a relationship and things are going well, you want to know whether it has a future. You’ve probably been dating a while, but you’ve found yourself in a sticky conundrum. You want to push things forward, but you’re unsure if your guy wants the same. Some men aren’t ready for that level of commitment, and some men will never be ready. I’ve known women who have dated men for eight, even ten years, waiting and waiting for him to propose. Much to their disappointment, they find out that he enjoyed the current setup they have and doesn’t want things to change.
Being friends with benefits makes it easy for him to get what he wants and often results in men pulling away. Maintaining a real friendship without an attachment of the desired outcome can give him the opportunity to see you in a different light when he is ready. It’s important to keep your options open and not focus all of your energy on one person if you know what I mean. 😉
If your guy is having a hard time, be it from external sources like his job or he’s having some internal emotional issue, you have to give him the space to work through it on his own. If he wants to talk to you about it, he’ll seek you out. And if he does, make sure you listen to him, don’t use this as an opportunity to voice your opinions on the matter and try to solve it for him. If he wants your advice, he’ll ask for it.
So often women get caught up with forcing the men in their lives to do what they want they fail to find suitable time to establish of that is what they too really want deep down. Time is spent scheming, evaluating and charting plans of action that they dream will end in a lifelong commitment that they faail to think ahead if they will be truly happy. Having him commit is one asoect of it but what about you? Do you really want the commitment? Is he what you want or are you motivated to have him commit simply because he wasn't a willing candidate. You see like men, women are just as competitive, we sometimes want simply because we cannot have. Look at the relationship and outline why you want him to commit and see if your reasons are justified.

So my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me a month ago due to arguing. He is in the army and currently away. I made the mistake of begging for him to take me back, before asking if we could still talk and saying I would leave things. After 3 weeks he stops following me on Instagram and I’ve found out today he has deleted me from facebook. I don’t understand why he would wait to do these things, he also has stuff at my house that he needs to pick up when he’s back. I really want him back, our relationship was amazing when we were together, problems only arise when he’s away. Now though I’m convinced he’s talking to a girl he knew from school.
You need a bit of mystery to get him to miss you, this is something not to forget. If you’re an avid social media user, don’t update your status too frequently, limit the number of pictures you share, and pause on the Facebook quizzes for the time being. Or if you want to take a Facebook quiz go ahead but just don't share the results, as that can be very annoying for anyone on your newsfeed. Additionally, don’t interact with your special guy on social media. If he posts a status or picture, don’t comment or even like the post. Did he share a story on Snapchat? Resist viewing it. Maintain the image that you’re too busy to obsess about his social media activity. It could be hard to do because he looks so cute in his latest Insta photo but you’ll have to be strong. Resist him now and he’ll be yours later!
I was in a situation that still confuses me. Maybe you can help. I know long distance is hard, but I was in one for 4 months. I showed up great – warm, joyous, playful. We had seen each other 3 times and were planning on a visit at the holidays. Due to previous things that were planned for both of us – international travel and grad school exams, we knew it would be 8 weeks to see each other. He travelled and we spoke 4 times over 12 days for 2-3 hours, just having fun. When he got back, he called 10 times in 6 days, emailed, texted, and wrote me a letter about what an amazing influence I was and how we had this great chemistry. He started saying “love you” at the end of a few calls, and I said “love you too”, but never initiated it as I knew we were falling and needed to see each other. I went on an international vacation for 2 weeks and common times to talk were difficult (and I was having fun). We spoke twice by Skype with him asking when we could speak again. We scheduled a third and I emailed him once or twice telling him what fun stuff was happening and wishing him well on his studying. The last call he was late for, which it felt dispointed as I had asked if he just wanted to talk when I was home and he insisted we set up a time. I only said it once, he apologized and we let it go.
Another ways to make my boyfriend miss me and want to see me is to do what he likes. Every guy has a thing that he really likes from his girlfriend. For instance, maybe he likes a certain way you dress or tie your hair. When you meet or see him, do those things that he really likes from you. When he remembers these little moments, he will miss you.
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