Like the advice but now I feel the connection I thought I may have had has gone from me towards the 2 year boyfriend ( we live apart & I have 1 child still at home with me). Its fine he can have his past times of long fishing trips & he likes to control the pace of the relationship. My problem is that now I do not care enough about a relationship with him anymore, so does any one else have this problem?
So im a guy, and my gf of 2 years broke up with me. Im so in love with her that i would marry her if i could. Im 23, ahe is 21. The whole problem is that she is young and curious and i was her first everything…. now the hard part is that she wants to see how other people treat her, she met a giy at her job and they kissed and im broken up over it but i still love her all the same. We ended on really good terms and im happy she is just so honest with me. She has always been like that, she didnt want to hurt me in the relationship so she thought this was the best course. She loves me to death and she always tells me that she wishes she lived her life before she met me so we can be happy now. I believe her bc she has always told me this. Now its summer, school ended and she is going to mexico with her family for a whole month. I would love nothing more than to just be with her. Idk why but i have a this strong feeling we will get back together in the future. Ohhh and btw she said that i should live my life and not just wait around. She is so perfect and caring its hard to just let that go. Should i go the summer without talking with her? Everyone tells me to just leave her, but my heart and my mind knows what it wants. I wouldnt want another relationship or anything serious with anyone else unless it was with her. If you need any more info just ask. Thank you
Adding on from below he said I was pushing him away so I’ve now stopped contact. He says it’s to late and I will never change. He still watches my instagram stories when I post them. I’m just baffled as we both feel so strongly for one another and have been besotted with one another since day 1. Possibly he does have problems he needs to deal with also. I don’t want to lose him and he knows this. He also knows I’m not giving up on our relationship and what we had
There’s a huge difference between being interested in the person you’re with and being obsessive/clingy. If you’re sending him 100 text messages a day asking where he’s at or why he’s not answering you, trying to see him every minute of every day, or going overboard to show him how much you care about when the relationship is fairly new, you might be pushing him away from you. Men don’t want a clingy lady. They want a woman who is secure and independent but still shows that she cares in a subtle and sensual way.
I’d just sit on it for a week, then text him and say are you done? Do you want to man up and be with me or do I need to stop waiting? Or if you don’t want to be as direct wait for a month. Do these things, he’s probably still checking up on you or a moment will come where he’s like damn what is she up to? Make sure your medias are filled with lots of fun stuff and pictures of you.
Earlier this year. I had gone to Europe to visit my friend. On my way back I stopped in Dubai while in transit to catch flight back home. I went into my Tinder app. Matched with a guy who later began chatting with me. Long story short. He and chatted in for a month. It was cool but hadnt expected to go anywhere as I’m live in South Africa and he an American lived amd worked in the middle east. In that month of our chats I lost my job which was such a big blow to me. He had taken a liking to me so much that he wanted me to visit him in the US all expenses paid. Very hesitant initially but decided to take the plunge. Didn’t get the US visa in time so we decided to meet in Dubai for a few days as thier visa process was faster. Flights booked and paid for. Visa ready. Just has to travel. By this stage he was so into me. He even said hesees me innocent his future and wants a life with me. Promised to look after me financially in my time of unemployment. I had no expectations of this statement. So is great. He sent me money regularly to for support which was very kind. So I went to Dubai he had booked us into a great hotel. Day 1 was lovely. Day 2 was ok started becoming very distant. Day 3. Left me entire day in hotel alone came back 2am. Day 4 ignored me all day until I had to catch flight home late that day. When asked. Just says im dealing with unexpected stuff. That’s it. So im like what must i do or can I help you through it. Just said he needs time. Distant and dismissive. Felt like an irritation to me for those days. I’m heartbroken. I was so accommodating. I got back home amd he didn’t bother to ask If I got home ok. So my question is whether or not what must i do
Hi Adam. I’ve been talking to a man I met on pof for 6 weeks. We get along incredibly well, have very long phone conversations laugh a lot. He pursued me hardcore until I gave in to a date. Went out twice got along great. He always begged me to come over to snuggle at night. So one night I finally get up the nerve to go over but no official invite that particular night, thought it would be a cute surprise. He was drinking with friends that night (he went out and I had a previous engagement as well) but let me in and was surprised to see me. We fool around a little bit and he let’s me know that he isn’t able to have sex due to too much drinking that evening. We snuggle for an hour then I leave. He’s been a little distant for a week now. He still calls every day but never flirty texts anymore, not hardcore pursuing anymore and hasn’t made any plans to see me although we could have seen each other since then. He seemed to like me so much before, what did I do wrong? Should I still continue to talk to him on the phone or just hang it up?
I was with my bf for 4 months. A long distance relationship. He told me Xmas weekend that he had fallen in love with me. We have a huge communication barrier though. So recently it was getting to me and I went home upset.he knew that I was upset he said he’s sorry he is not capable of making me happy and he still is in love with me and is bummed but he doesn’t think we may be a match. I believe he is genuinely upset. Maybe the distance was taking its toll. I didn’t want it to end but now it has and I spoke to him on phone and wanted him to change his mind. I still have some things at his house. It now has been 2 days since I spoke with him. I intend to not contact him..in hopes that he will miss me. I mean, if you are in love as he claimed 3 weeks ago I would think not talking to me for more then 3 days will get to him. I also told him I would come get my things tomorrow but I have now chosen to skip that and make him wonder what I’m doing. I will go get my things in a week or 2. I’m sad cuz I love him too. Any suggestions/opinions would be appreciated!!
Answer: You can’t make someone be at the same place as you. The only thing you can do is give him the space he needs to figure out if he wants to join you or move on. Let him go and figure things out, and if he is ready to move forward with you, he’ll let you know. Pushing him is only going to drive him farther away and will make him think you aren’t the one. [Read: The 10 best kept secrets to making a man commit to you]
You were the kind who used to put the entire world on hold to attend his call. Not anymore. Pick up his calls, but not every time. Give him an excuse that you were busy, and that you didn't notice he called. Don't be too rude or blatant, but tell him you have been occupied. Let him ring you. Talk to him sometimes, but in brief. For once, he'll wonder what the heck is up with you all of a sudden, but once he realizes that you aren't that available now, he'll be left with no other choice but to miss you, and wait till you get back.
My ex (5 month relationship) broke up with me two months ago and a week later went straight to a rebound relationship. He text me out of the blue and asked me how I was and then said we should go get food. He also said that he wants to just be friends. So my question is, why the heck is he texting me to go get food when he is still dating his “rebound”?! I still have feelings for him and he knows that. Hence the reason he told me he just wants to be friends. Everybody knows you can’t be “just friends” with a guy you still have feelings for. I feel like he is playing games with me and going to get food is only going to hurt me more….knowing he doesn’t want to date me. What should I do? Not go? Or TRY to be “Just Friends”??
Schedule a girls night out with your friends. Leave your man home by himself. Give him a hug and kiss, and then say “see you later.” Make him miss you — and show him that you’re not in a codependent relationship with him — that you have a social life, too. If he wants space, then give him space, while have a fun time with your friends outside of your relationship. When a man pulls away after being in a LTR for a while, sometimes it means he feels trapped or suffocated or obligated to you, or that he’s losing his freedom or sense of self because you’re now “all coupling all the time.” Immersing himself in work is a way for him to pull away from this codependence and gain a sense of self and independence. If you’re really worried, do an evaluation of your relationship — are you getting too clingy, needy, or do you want to do things with him 24/7 … are you having a codependent relationship? Is that the reason why your guy is pulling away? Sometimes, the issue may not just be his, but also yours.
You’re in a relationship and everything seems to be going swell. You hang out all the time, he sends you goodnight texts every night, and he even surprises you with cute little gifts at your office. But lately it seems like the relationship is lacking. He’s not doing those cute things he used to do and it almost seems like he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. What gives? Here’s 10 common reasons why men pull away from women.
You have given the best advice that I have ever read from any article or book out there and trust I have read MANY. I see where I have been going wrong with my relationships and I see that I am putting too much of what I want them to be for me in it. I see where my negative thoughts have failed me and how I can go about changing me to be a better me for a relationship. Your views are so on point and I completely understand exactly where you are coming from. I will continue to read and reread your advice until I get myself where I need to be physically and emotionally. I definitely dont live in the moment with the man I have been with and I have gotten the I dont want a relationship thing from him but I definitely see where I went wrong because this man was interested in me from the beginning and he is still here. So I see where I went wrong. I see where I need to change just from reading your articles. I am seeing clearly. Now just to adjust my behavior and actions. I believe I will see a change in him. You cant expect people to change if you dont change yourself first… Thanks for all the great advice :)
I met in 2007 in the United States, I’m in Canada we met at a concert and for me, as soon as I saw him I knew I loved him. We hit it off and within a few weeks I was going to the states to visit him, we started dating and I was so happy, but because of the distance and him not being able to cross the boarder to come up and see me( he tried once) due to felonies in the states, I wasn’t able to go every weekend. He started to go down a bad path and got into drugs, I was always there for him even tho I didn’t know the extent of what he was doing. I told him I loved him, and he freaked out, we drifted apart and I was hurt.
I think my ex still loves me. He suggested we “go on a break.” Our relationship was very happy and we were very much in love all throughout our time together. I think this is all good advice but I’m just worried. I’m worried that if I don’t reach out to him, he’ll forget about me or learn to live without me. What we had was really beautiful and I don’t want it to slip away. I’m worried that he’s too stubborn to reach out to me and that even though it’s what we both want, neither of us will do it and what we have will slip away if we give it too much time. What do I do? Do I never contact him again? What if he never contacts me?
Now it is just about two years later. We are happily in love, lI’ve together and have never had a fight or argument. We’ve had disagreements, naturally, but we work through them effortlessly. He is an amazing and loving partner. He holds me if I cry, and supports me following my dreams. He’s there for me everyday and never leaves me wondering or waiting. He now knows what a real relationship is, and actively shows me all of the love I could have ever asked for. He talks about marriage and kids all the time, and we’re so happy.
#7 He has low self-esteem. If you’ve been together for a while and things have not gone financially the way that he thought they would, he may be feeling inadequate. When a man feels like he can’t provide the way that he wants to, the pressure of being with someone he loves can become overwhelming. Transferring his feelings of inadequacy to you, he may unwittingly be pulling away due to his own feelings of inadequacy, blaming you for his failures.