This worked for me. I started dating a fella who was fresh out of a committed, live-in relationship and said he was unlikely to call anyone his girlfriend anytime soon. I didn’t say, “Oh yeah, buster, well you better decide now or I’m out!” I didn’t force him into having The Talk (read why to avoid this). I liked the guy. So I made sure I blew his mind and made him earn it. I did my thing, kept my life going and made it clear if he wanted to see me, he had to let me know. When we were together, I made him feel like a million bucks.
High levels of stress can do many things including destroy relationships.  If the stress of commitment is getting to him you may find him pulling away until it clears.  If you chase after him in you could find the result is that you have pushed him clear out of your life.  Give him space and time to think.  Be available but create that mystique that found him seeking you out in the first place. i.e Just be You
If you still communicate with your ex-boyfriend, you have many opportunities to make him miss you! Whether the two of you chat on the phone or exchange text messages every few days, in order to make him miss you, you need to tell him just how fabulous your day has been! After a break up, guys expect you to crawl into a hole and cry your eyes out for the next few months. But even if you’re feeling like your world is falling apart, you have to give the impression that everything is going awesome in your world. You should be happy and always telling him about the positive things that are going on in your life. Since you’re not acting the way a typical girl would act after the end of a relationship, it will draw him closer to you. Your spunky and upbeat attitude will remind him just how much fun you are, and he will be dying to be a part of your life once again.
Let things progress naturally and look at the evidence: Do they try to see you whenever they're free? Do they seem genuinely interested in what you have to say? Does they have as much fun on dates as you do? These are likely signs they're in it for real, so enjoy being with them and relax about making things "official." "People who are wary of commitment want to feel like they're the one choosing to be with you—they don't want to feel like they're being coaxed into a cage," Trespicio adds.
Answer: Cut him loose. If you think that he’s cheating on you or is interested in someone else, don’t pursue him. If you take the time to step back and he doesn’t show any effort to reel you back in, then, either way, it wasn’t meant to be. If you think that he’s attracted to another woman, find someone who will be fully committed to loving you. [Read: Should you ever forgive a cheating partner?]
Treat yourself to a new make up look, dress up for him, or get a new haircut. It will leave you attractive and unforgettable in your boyfriend’s eyes and mind even after you leave. He’ll start thinking of you and wanting to be closer to you. This will work especially if you’re getting attention from other guys around you. So, invest in yourself and make yourself feel good to make your guy miss you.
He may have feelings for you. He probably has very strong feelings for you. He likely is concerned that if the two of you develop a relationship at this time, that he will not act in a mature enough manner and may damage your friendship. If you want to move into a relationship with him, then explain that you know that the both of you care about each other and you are not going to hurt him. Let him know that you trust him not to hurt you. Best of luck, Vicki!

Don't confuse this with learning how to dance because not all of us are comfortable shaking a leg. All you need to do to get your boyfriend's undivided attention is to learn a single dance move and bust it at the right time. Whether it is a sexy twist or an elegant twirl, do it at a moment he least expects it. You are likely to see raised eyebrows and a priceless look on his face.
Im currently dating a black guy for 4months! I love him dearly. In the beginning we couldn’t get enough of each other! but lately when I phone he don’t pick up the phone and phones later on. I remember he didn’t have a car so that was his excuse when he didn’t show, but now he has a car, now his excuse is that his business is booming! and cant drop the clients. Weekends I don’t see him then its his buzzy time – and if I see him its only for 20minutes . We don’t have time together. I know in his culture the men don’t see the women but why does our relationship only come from one side and its me that doing all the effort! I really don’t know where we stand!
My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me in a text message a day after Valentine’s Day. I felt like that was the cruelest thing to do after spending a wonderful time together the night before. I was just devastated, so of course I picked up the phone and called to ask why. But he couldn’t tell me and hung up on me, how humiliating that was. I went away and never contacted him again, I focused on my friends and family to help me heal. After a few weeks I noticed that he was showing up on my social media feed a lot, so I unfollowed him, my heart was just starting to heal again, I didn’t want to go through that kind of pain again. Anyway, after about 6 weeks of break up, he showed up at my place but couldn’t bring himself to knock. I got a text from him saying, I was just outside your door, I just stood there remembering all the good times we shared together. I was completely shocked as I thought I’ll never hear from him again. So I said to him, you could have knocked because I still want to know why you broke up with me in the first place, and so we planned a date to sit down and talk. It was absolutely amazing! He told me he was just too scared about how deeply he cared about me, (which I already knew) and felt that he needed to go away and think about it, wow, how astounding! We got back together a few days later and it was magical, he can’t stop telling me how beautiful I am, how much he missed me and that he loves me and wants to spend all of his time being with me from now on. So Adam, tell me what did I do wrong or right to have him come back this strong? I would dearly love to know so I can be prepared if I this ever happen again.

Hi Ray! Thank you very much for the male perspective. I am dating a man who is 11 years older, I’m 26 and he is 37. He works out in the ocean and a lot of times we have minimal conversation via text/call. But when we are together everything is great and we get along very well. When he doesn’t have to wake in the wee ours or work out of town, he is with me every single weekend. We have been together six months and I have met all his close friends and friends kids. I have done well so far in respecting his space. When he’s a weekend with his guy friends, I am understanding and just ask him to contact me once when he is back in town so he feels he is not missing out on what he loves. However, this past weekend he had a sailboat race on the weekend which he let me know in advance and we had plans for friday night. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. I was emotionally unstable that weekend due to some work stress and family leaving so I needed him the most that friday. I did not think of my actions and instead of politely rescheduling for Monday, I blew him up – sent him various texts showing how I did not appreciate he canceled although it wasn’t his fault. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. On Sunday I was so desperate that I passed by his house. His roomate was there and told me he hand’t come home yet. Since I blew him up friday, I have had no response to any of my texts nor has he answered any of my calls. I am very afraid that I scared him away and threatened his freedom. I also came out as desperate for going to his place. Today is Wednesday and I hadn’t reached out till Sunday. I sent him a very short/casual text apologizing for taking out my stress on him and for not letting him have his space, to which I got no response. I am going to wait a few days and hopefully he will come around, as our relationship has matured and he’s told me how much he cares for me. Did I blow this up completely since it has been 4 days with no response?


I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend and I spend the night at his house very often. I spend so much time at his house that my family asks me if I'm going to move in with him. It just that when I leave to go to work, it feels like forever before I can see him again. It sounds super clingy because I know I'm going back home to him in the evening but it still stings. I miss him a lot. I'm currently at work missing him.

I tried to ask him why and fix things but it got worse everytime I tried and when we were on the ph he ignored me the calls were silent and when I did say something he ignored me :( we used to be close we were friends on snapchat he chose to ignore me but still watched my mystory and it went on like that 4 weeks till I got upset and blocked him on my snapchat but still have him on Skype and his # we even would mail each other presents for holidays I fear he may have moved on and doesn’t like me anymore
If you want him to miss you, you can use social media as your advantage. Update your social media feed so he can see all the fun you’re having. Guys are definitely more visual creatures so give him something good to look it and he’ll be hooked, which brings you to the next step. But make sure you do not fabricate fake posts, just be you, be fun, and be authentic.

If you are obsessed with reaching some sort of a milestone, if you have an agenda and aren’t able to be present and enjoy the moment with him,  he is going to put his guard up towards you. He is going to feel like you are not actually with him and that you are trying to manipulate him in order to get what you want. People intuitively … (continued – Click to keep reading Ask a Guy: How Do I Get Him to Commit?)
There's a fine line between playing a little hard to get and acting totally indifferent. When you're out to dinner, make sure not to constantly check your phone or dart your eyes around the room. It's dating 101, but show you're interested in what they have to say and ask about their life. "People appreciate and want to be with someone who makes them feel amazing," Trespicio says. "If you rock their world and they love being with you, why would they ever want to be with anyone else?"
I love your articles. Appreciate to help and advice my situation. I’m in relation with my boyfriends for 3 months. He’s start to talk about the future and marriage since our 3rd date. He was send me fill text everyday it’s made my heart fell full and in love with him so much and we start to have sex after 4th date. But since last months I few something changed after I asked him about the series relation between us, he’s send me a less of text, didn’t keep the date schedule. When I talked about get marriage he said we just know each other a few months. Now I’m move to other country and so worry about the long distance relation with him. He’s promised me will waiting to me and will come to visit me on Jan. But right now I got only one message from him a day someday it’s no text from him. I love him so much. How should I get him back.
I hope that women or men in the world don’t apply this article to their relationship. If someone distances themselves from you then they just don’t want to put effort into it. Therefore, it’s best to get away from that person as soon as possible. There are many others that will show 10 times the effort. Don’t fall into this social construction that, if your partner distances themselves, just act like everything is okay and force yourself to be happy with them.
So an update, my boyfriend came back. It was a mix of everything that had piled up slowly in the last 6months that he didn’t deal with effectively. This isn’t such a surprise as he spoke about it a week before such as physical and mental long work hours, debts and family issues which he felt affected the quality of our relationship. He retreated to become calm and gain clarity. Mind you, this was a 2 week retreat with only 2 ‘I’ll contact you soon’ texts so I kept my distance. When he came back I was supportive and he opened up to me. So now he just needs some support and a clear path. The last thing I’d ever do is blame him for his absence while he is going through a vulnerable time.
    "'We' is a state of mind and heart. It means that wherever one partner is, the other is present in their thoughts. Partners who consider themselves a 'we' act that way. When you talk to partners who live with and in the heart of their beloved, you experience that commitment in every way they present themselves. They communicate a pride in belonging to their partner. It's a powerful feeling of 'us' over anyone or anything else.

Taking the time out of your day to get some exercise in is a great way to occupy your mind. There are numerous health benefits that come with exercising, whether it's something high-intensity or low-intensity. Going out for a relaxing run or hike can really soothe your aching heart. You can also bring some of your friends with you to make it even more fun and exciting. Having a group of people putting in the work with you can make it much more manageable and make it less boring.
You guys fell in love for a reason, and while there are multiple reasons for your love, one of the biggest factors will be your personality. Show him what he’s missing by having fun and being yourself. We don’t mean go out and have fun without him, it’s more about making him realize why he loved you in the first place. By showing him the different sides to your personality you will allow him to come to his senses and tell you how much he misses you and can’t wait to see you.
because only men pull away…all my life is full of all that “it’s not you it’s me” crap,every single time,you try to be nice,understanding,give time and offer encouragement and every time…this…i’m starting to think something is wrong with me,i am already in enough despair as it is and hearing this when i am choosing my words like before a trial or something…it is the most horrible feeling i have ever experienced,and i have been through loss,rough accidents and others…and this hurts worse than all together,the feeling of hopelessness when you pull out even your own soul to show that person everything will be alright and still…nothing.

In some ways, mirroring includes – but is not restricted to – body language. If he places his elbows on the table to get closer to you, you can follow suit. Physically mimicking someone can increase your sexual tension as well as make you feel emotionally closer to the person. You could accidentally take this to an amusing level if you copy him too closely, so follow this advice with moderation.


All anyone really wants is to feel OK, and most of us don’t. When a woman worries and needs constant reassurance, it comes from feeling from “I am not OK” and the feeling beneath that is fear. What makes it so destructive is that it’s not an overwhelming, gripping fear; it’s a vague feeling of unease. It’s so quiet and subtle you may not even realize it’s there. You know how sometimes you’ll go to take a sip of water and you literally can’t stop chugging? You didn’t even realize you were thirsty, it’s only when you begin to quench the silent thirst that you realize how potent it was. That’s kind of what’s at play here.
As soon as your ex starts to miss you, he will start throwing out hints about the two of you meeting up. But if you really want a chance of getting him back into your life for good, you have to decline his invitations initially. Simply let him know you’re not yet ready for a face-to-face meeting, but you will contact him when the time is right. He’ll be on pins and needles waiting for you to finally ring him up and accept his invitation. This will make him miss you even more as he patiently waits for the day he can finally see you again. It’s up to you how long you plan on keeping your distance from him, but generally a month or two is more than enough time to drive him wild and reignite the spark between the two of you. Now the specifics depend on your situation but all you need to do for sure is give it time.
Sometimes, when distress takes effect over me, and I'm stuck in a never-ending groove, the bizarreness of relationships reverberates in my mind, and I'm forced to question the existence of perfect relationships. It's bewildering to think that because you have been with him for three long years now, lived-in for a year and a half, your parents know him in-and-out, you're tempted to believe that your relationship is a perfect example of the Romeo-n-Juliet fantasy, little knowing that time span does not boil down to a healthy relationship. It's astonishing to realize that when your friends talk about the crests and troughs in your relationship, you seem to brag the years you've been together for, more than your love for each other. Well, that doesn't come as a surprise. No, truly. During the course of time, the starry-eyed you seems to lose the grip over your significant other when adventure becomes a thing of the past, public displays of affection lose edge, romantic dates turn into we-split-bills dinners, and surprises fly out of the window like they just don't make sense anymore. Flabbergasting? True that.
Knew this guy in middle school he was in love with me.. lost touch and about 2 months we started talking. But I always have to call him.think he called me twice so far including returned phone calls. And he always dose the talking always when i talk its interruptred are non responcive. ButTalked daily and decided to meet briefly about two weeks ago. We talked for a about 15 20 min.then it went real fast real quick. I said no a few times before I just gave in. Now its we talk every other day to maybe once a week. He’s said a few times about going out before sex and once after but includes that we should end that date with sex. I have asked him where he stands after we had sex the next day made it clear that was not like me and that it was to soon. He said it was built up and he agrees it was soon. Says he is content with his life but then says if he didn’t want to talk to me he’d say so……..I feel like I f***ed up by haven sex to soon and all he wants is ass now. What do u think
This man is clearly into you, romantically, emotionally, physically, and intellectually. He’s making that clear with his words and actions. He is making an effort to connect, to spend time with you, and is public with his interest and affection. I think you are getting in your own way. It sounds like you need to re-evaluate your expectations of what love/attraction/romance should look like . You say:
#6 Reward him for boyfriend-like behavior. When he does something that shows his commitment to you, reward him for it. Something like going out of his way to make plans with you or inviting you to events is definitely behavior you need to reward. When he sees that you like that kind of thing, he’ll want to do it more and soon enough, he’ll have committed to you for real.
It may be cliché, but a new makeover will do wonders to make him miss you. This is especially effective if the man you’re missing is an ex. Maybe you get a new haircut, treat yourself to a new make-up look at the mall, or sport a sexy, new outfit. Not only will the new look make you feel great about yourself, you will have that special someone want you back. Make sure that you go somewhere you know that he’ll be to show off the new you. If he sees you looking great it’s going to make him start thinking of you and wanting to be closer to you. This will work especially well if you’re getting attention from others around you guys. Of course if you aren't into getting a full on makeover then try a new hairstyle or switch up your usual lipstick color. This will get him thinking about how much you've moved on.
Jealousy can be a tricky beast with which to contend. However, there’s no easier way to make an ex miss you than to move onto another guy, or make him think you have. Whenever you go to a place where you know your special someone’ll be, make sure you bring another guy along. It could be just a friend or a potential new flame. As long as the ex sees you moving on, it is a near certainty that he will think of all the good times you had and miss what he once had. Guys are competitive and seeing you with another man is going to bring out the warrior in him. He’s going to want to win you back! Do not pay any attention to him during a time like this, instead say a quick “hello” and spend the rest of the night admiring the new man in your life. He’s going to go home thinking of you and it’s going to make him miss you terribly.
I’m thinking of pulling away for that reason. The words of affirmation just aren’t there at all. And what’s more upsetting is he told me a story about how he expressed his feelings to his ex girlfriend almost instantly, really quickly into them meeting each other. They ended up breaking up because she was not as into him. So now I feel like I have to disappear just to see if he actually likes me.
So, get this. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 3 months now, so not long. We have taken things pretty casually, I don’t know his past & haven’t asked. When it comes to ‘feelings’ I can tell he is not safe talking about it. We are completely compatible, and honestly I feel as if he’s my person. When we first started talking, we discussed about meeting the parents in general, and he expressed how he doesn’t bring just anyone home to his family & he wants to be sure they will be around for a while before doing so. So, I let him make the call as to when that would happen, if it would. A few weeks ago, he told me to reserve a specific date open for going home to meet his family. Which was just a week ago. Of course, it was the perfect weekend. Introduced me to his whole family, classmates, and family friends, and stayed an extra day than planned. 3 days later, I sent him a nice text- did not say the L word, but was pretty strong feeling. He replied with not feeling the same as me, and didn’t want to waste my time. I have tried calling him one time to get an explanation and he has not responded. Haven’t bugged him since the phone call. It’s so frustrating where 48 hrs prior to the text I was with him at his parents and seen absolutely no red flags. What should I do? What does this mean? I have never had a guy ‘pull away’ before.
I m in a long distance relationship, my bf is in italy, I m in Iran , we saw eachother in october , he wanted to come with me to iran but he got so busy for work that everyday from 9 am to 9 pm he should work, He will be busy till september and we can t see eachother till then or even later, I miss him so much , so much i can t describe, I cant do my routines well anymore , i daydream all the time, and I m so desperate, so hopeless, I can t go see him sooner cause the money problems, I feel terrible , so hopeless I dont know when we can even meet again , although he tells me that we meet soon, i dont know even when. We had the best time together so many laughs so many hugs so many sweet moments, god this is killing me.

i don’t really agree that a woman’s gotta give a guy space under every circumstance because sometimes when people are in steady relationships there might be scenarios where real problems arise which might require a ‘down-time’ but either way the only solution is to talk about it, if a guy doesn’t wanna talk and he just dissapears he doesn’t have respect for the woman and is not interested at all,so for him it’s just a game and for the ladies it’s really painful.so keep away from these type of men,especially if they start to act like this in the early phases of dating and peculiarly if you met them online.these online dating guys are not trustworthy and have parallel contacts
Im seeing this guy on and off for almost two years now. Its just a casual hookup and we dont even talk and see each other much but were friends. I guess that occur to us as normal FWB relationship. Lately, his been pretty persistent to get my attention. Missed calls, txt messages just saying he missed me and whatsoevers. Just recently asked him a “what if question” what will he feel with me having a boyfriend and what he’ll do? He then answered He will be hurt…(long pause) he still txt me anyway and hope ill still txt him back.

Great article . Men deal with emotions differently , they also truly want to be in charge and for this they need to withdraw in order to think . For women its an opportunity to cool down and figure what they truly need from their men . And when he comes back be busy , be sweet ,understanding . Men dont change their mind that easily , the live they have for their women dont fade . Keep calm


#4 He is attracted to someone else. If nothing happened and he is suddenly pulling away, then it may be that he is attracted to someone else. If he is thinking about being with another woman, he may be trying to find a way out of the relationship. If you notice that his habits are changing, he is no longer interested in sex, or if he becomes more secretive and rarely spends time with you, then he may have found someone else.
This one is tough, but assuming you have mastered listening skills you can certainly do this. We need support, friendly advice and someone who will understand us. When he has a problem, don’t start telling him what he should have done or telling him he is the one to be blamed. Listen, cheer him up a bit and just be there for him. Next time when he has a problem or is sad, he will look for you to help him go through that.

I want to start off by saying thank you for adding a guys input Eric! My question is how do know if your inspiring him to be his best self and inspire him in his lifes mission if you dont know what that is? The guy im kind of seeing has only initiated deep conversation once and it was to ask what i thought about us. Am i supposed to ask him out right or am i supposed to try and figure it out all on my own?


Don’t worry about him enjoying the free time with his friends. Of course, giving him space to enjoy is going to make you look confident and less clingy. He may seem to enjoy it, but eventually, your boyfriend will crave more time with you. So, the next time he tries to come up with excuses to hang out with his friends, let him go. If he wants to go on a boys’ trip, allow him. The more time he is away from you, the more he will realize what he’s missing. He might think his friends are important and deserves his time but he will soon learn that he can’t spend his lifetime with only them, he needs you.
Whether you’ve just been dumped or you just broke up with your boyfriend, you’re probably having second thoughts about the relationship coming to an end. Maybe you now realize the part you played in your relationship crashing and burning, or perhaps you dumped your guy for a petty reason that you now regret. It’s not always as simple as picking up the phone and spilling out your guts to him. As a matter of fact, that’s probably the worst thing to do if you really want your ex back.
When we get so focused on the need for any one man, it’s easy to get blinded. That’s when we start making excuses for him that may in fact be relationship deal breakers for us. If what you want is an exclusive relationship, yet you keep seeing him if he wants something else for fear of losing him, you’re really only losing yourself and all that is important to you.

Hi Heather, I see how common is for men to pull away, even if BEFORE going out for getting to know each other a little better, to basically see if we are/not a good match, as in my OWN CASE (read above). If I allowed Adam’s videos to sink in a bit, my own opinion would be that WE GIVE TO MUCH FUSS about these guys! Seriously! At least in my case, I introduced myself,, I teased him a bit and initiate a flirtatious funny SHORT conversation to give him the hint that I am INTERESTED (after I had seen him working for my attention for about 2 months) that he seemed to enjoy it very much and he already pulls away? I respect his own space as of right now, but he doesn’t get anything more from me but respecting his space, UNTIL MORE /IF ANYTHING happens! Going to another date this weekend, actually! while he has his own space, you gotta keep on circulating for your own sake and you would not have wasted your time whatever the outcome turns out to be! Am I right Adam or am I loving myself a little bit too much? :))
Psychologists recommend that you should balance your time together and apart to maintain a sense of well-being as an individual and as a couple; however, most of us don’t find that balance. Between work (that isn’t really alone time), spending time with family and friends, and going to engagements as a couple, it can be hard to find any alone time.
If your man is acting distant and you want him to come back to you, chasing after him plain won’t work. The best thing to do is to give him the space he’s looking for so that he can solve whatever’s bothering him and get back to normal. If you chase him it only pushes him further away, instead give him the space he needs and he’ll feel your absence as soon as he solves his problem and will want to come running back to you.
Everything went well…we were soo deep in conversations…but the only thing we did was we dint confide each other that we were in love with each other….i was too afraid to….and he loves texting me often…and he says im damn cute in my photos…pulls my leg often…and we chat day and night…he says im his bestiee…all of a sudden he started replying me in one word texts like ohhh’s and hmm’s which drove me mad….i dunno wat conclusion to make…may be he has found me boring and too available….i love him soo much and it really hurts if he doesn’t chat with me as before….i went offline for a month…and going offline will make him miss me??? Will that make him crave for my presence!! Pls…help me somebody..im dying everyday
Taking the time out of your day to get some exercise in is a great way to occupy your mind. There are numerous health benefits that come with exercising, whether it's something high-intensity or low-intensity. Going out for a relaxing run or hike can really soothe your aching heart. You can also bring some of your friends with you to make it even more fun and exciting. Having a group of people putting in the work with you can make it much more manageable and make it less boring.
Wallah awesome advices I’ve been with my guy more than a year now even f we r in different culture he always telling me it doesn’t matter and when I answered ur quizzes it just like a test paper also been told by my guy for me ur ryt it’s about inner self must know not just bcz d eyes want to see…and I’m satisfied and happy with my friends guy bcz he is God fearing and teach me lot more of faith values which really was a different from my culture..ALLAH bless U Eric may U continue help people who r in need of advices regarding love and the likes….

My boyfriend has a small company “hobby” and seems to spend a lot of time and effort into that. When I try to talk to him he ignores me even when I leave him alone for hours. He seems to be more interested in his “hobby” than listening or just telling me how his day went. I don’t pry at all but after work of not talking to him all day all he wants to do is his “hobby” I don’t feel valued right now and just wanted to vent about it really.


So I met this guy about 3 weeks ago online and if was very much like the scenario you showed in your video. At least for the first week. I was then out of town for a week preparing to move my stuff to another state. He flew out to hel0 me drive the truck. However, since returning, it feels like he’s pulling away. I’m giving him the space, but I fear he won’t come back. Any suggestion?
Speaking of phones, take a look at your message history with your crush. Do all of the chats begin with you sending the first message? If so, hold off contacting him. It’s OK to give him the space to take initiative. If he doesn’t, don’t be too bummed. It could be that he loves talking to you but has grown accustomed to you being the one to start things off.
Don't confuse this with learning how to dance because not all of us are comfortable shaking a leg. All you need to do to get your boyfriend's undivided attention is to learn a single dance move and bust it at the right time. Whether it is a sexy twist or an elegant twirl, do it at a moment he least expects it. You are likely to see raised eyebrows and a priceless look on his face.
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