Hello, my fiancee give me a ring. We was looking at getting married nextyear. I came to a realization that I was a convenient around him. He was to controlling and wanted to have his way. When I begin to show him that I didn’t like the way he acted and flirted around other women online and in public. He begin to blame me of being to jealous and controlling. Well he broke up with me sad he was just going to find himself and be along. Come to find out he moved in some female he knew from high… Read more »

Anyways, we went on a date. Which snowballed into many dates and nights spent together. I was falling in love hard and fast. It seemed so mutual, until my birthday. I suggested we spend it together to which he replied he’d take me out for dinner! (Days beforehand we changed the dinner date to the day *after* my bday & spent my actual bday in bed watching movies.)
You feel like your partner wants you to be a different person than you are, such as your partner is not wanting you to do certain things you normally like doing, is wanting you to change your personality, or is trying to be controlling of your person and actions. The reverse is also true; that is, if you feel like you keep wanting to change your partner, that could be a sign of a problem.[2]
Hopefully, these tips give you something to work with, and you will find something that can help you approach your relationship problems in a different way. You don't have to be Freud, you don't have to do it all at once; instead, see which of these ideas catch your attention. Then pick a situation, a pattern, a problem, and map out a different approach, a concrete behavior that you can put into place. Start small. Focus on you. One change will lead to another.
Work on your self-esteem. If you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in the self-esteem department. You might be looking for your ex to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. It makes them feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you.
So we continue being sweet but we dont communicate all day. Usually in the morning only or at night but never missed to text me in more than half day. And then there was a time we stopped being sweet and he also stopped texting me and the next day he told me that he missed me and hes confused why bec. We havent met. And so we continue being sweet again. Slowly he texts me less and less. And then texts a lot again and less again.

He could of went out on a night out in those days, kissed another girl or something. So I wanted him to properly decide his decision before he did this. 2 days after we broke up, I went to his house to give him back his stuff (bad idea I know!), I just wanted to see him so bad and wanted to know his final decision. I knew it wasn’t going to be good and it wasn’t. He didn’t want to get with me.
I hope this helped you understand exactly how to get back with your ex and the exact steps you have to take. Even then, there’s one more thing to remember – even for the women who have had success getting back with ex boyfriends, it can still be very difficult to keep your man… unless you know how to make him want to be with you and only you forever. You need this secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good. It will reveal how to get him to see you as “the one” and desperately crave you by his side forever. If you don’t read this now you might miss your chance to get him back forever so don’t wait: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…

I am delighted that you have heeded my advice. I have read the list you have constructed and I am pleased to tell you that I agree with it. Communication helps a relationship grow stronger. Along with that, it is very important to spend time with each other. I highly appreciate your gesture of talking to me about the list. With it, you and your boyfriend will be able to go a very long way. As for the matter of a relationship consisting of two people I greatly admire the last line you have written. It is vital to keep certain issues and matters amongst yourselves. My best wishes to you both.


I was in a relationship for ten years ever since high school. Yes in the beginning I cheated several times and this wonderful woman forgave me. In February, I don’t know what was wrong with me but freaked out because she wanted to get married and I felt I didn’t. So we split up and I started seeing this girl from work. Now this girl is pregnant. Her and I did not last long because I realized I was in love with my ex of ten years. But she doesn’t want a baby that isn’t hers. What do I do? I can’t stop missing her and I truly believe she’s the love of my life. She is truly something special. Is there a way love can fix us?
Well, putting it into practice can be really tough because there are two battles that you are going to be fighting. The first battle is going to be the most obvious one in that you have to get her connected in a conversation with you. The second battle is going to be going on inside of YOU! It is the fact that discipline is going to be required to pull this off.
A couple days later he’s still acting distant and he’s being short with me over text and I’ve tried asking him to come over but he’d say he has to clean his house or that he can’t then after goes to hang out with his friends knowing I asked him earlier if he could come over. And usually he would come hang out with me since we haven’t been hanging out instead of going out with his friends. I just feel after that that this is a sign that I need to let him have his space even though we haven’t hanged out in almost a week, I really hope this works because one of my girl friends said that he’s obsessed with me and that he said that I’m the ONE. He’s even thought of wedding ideas I mean c’mon he sounds like he’s head over heals for me right? and I just don’t see him going from loving me so much to distancing himself from me and not even wanting to see each other it seems. Maybe it was something I said to him over text to make him upset? I just don’t know but I will do anything to go back to the status of what our relationship was once before this all happened.

According to research, the number one cause of the breakup of romantic relationships is failure to communicate. If your relationship was otherwise happy, this problem can often be fixed by setting clear expectations and openly discussing frustrations before things explode in a big fight. Other issues can be harder to overcome, like infidelity or jealousy; but with work and counseling, even these types of issues are possible to work through.
Some arguing is normal in a relationship. You may go through phases of fighting due to outside factors, which is also normal. The important thing is how you argue, how you deal with arguments after, how you heal together, and the way you communicate. The best way to avoid a fight getting out of control is to walk out of the room and not escalate the situation.
In short, when you see that your crush or boyfriend is pulling away, you pull away too. Do not contact him. Concentrate on your own growth, reflect on what you’ve learned from the dynamics of the relationship and move forward with your personal goals. Be clear about your expectations and your needs. If they aren’t met, then move on and see if he’ll ever come around… Because if he doesn’t, I am sure someone else will!

Hi, my ex broke up with me a while ago. We went full no contact for about 8 weeks and then he finally texted me to catch up. We talked for about a month, hooked up a couple times, and he was treating/talking to me as if we were a couple. I want to get back together. So I’ve told him I still have feelings for him and eventually want to get back together. I know he still has feelings for me but he says he doesn’t know what he wants (We’re also doing long distance so this is a big reason of why he doesn’t know). I told him a week ago I can’t be just friends anymore so I went into no contact again. Was this the right move? I want him to realize he does want to get back together and be more that friends. Should I have just stayed friends and waited? Or was it smart to go no contact again!!
Relax and just enjoy the time you do have together. Don't obsessed about this. If he doesn't seem to want to spend time with you, find something else do that you like to do. Make plans with yourself and stick to them. Don't chase any man except the ice cream man. He might be going through some things he's not ready to share. Or, he might just be stringing you along. You don't know. But, there's no reason to worry about anything unless you know there's something to worry about. There are plenty of things you could be doing to make yourself happy and keep busy (in a good, happy, productive way) even if you are dead ass broke. Keep yourself entertained. If nothing else, if this guy isn't ready to be a grown up yet, if you are doing something you love, you will meet other people that have the same interests that you do. You might not meet prince charming, but you will meet some good friends that have the same interests that you do. And remember: you don't have to be soulmates with someone to go see a movie or have coffee. I'm about a hair away from aetheist, and I have friends all across the board. You don't have to have everything in common with a person to be friends, or be friendly or just hang out. Wish you the best of luck with your dude and everything else. Big hugs.

Instead of focusing on how much time he calls, spends time with you etc. Pay more attention at the QUALITY of your phone calls or time together. Is it good? Or are you in a rut? Or is he losing interest because you have nothing to talk about? When a relationship is in trouble, the first sign is the quality of the friendship and connection. Pay more attention to that, instead of the numbers. Trust me, if the connection is strong and the love is there, he will bounce back. But if the connection is lost over time, you need to figure out how to get it back instead of just “moving on” — that is YOU pulling away from this, too. Oh yeah, women can pull away too, basically by shunning the guy.
Mine pulled away about 2 mths ago. He said he’d explain everything and apologized for being distant. I told him I’d be here when he’s ready and I love him. He responded well, with love. So far, though, no explanation has occurred…not a word. I know he’s in love with me ( by his words and actions), and I totally trust him. I’m just thinking that it’s been too long and fear is setting in. My experience has been such that when a guy pulls away for this long he doesn’t come back and that is what I’m afraid of.… Read more »

Español: arreglar una relación, Português: Consertar um Relacionamento, Italiano: Riparare una Relazione, Deutsch: Eine Beziehung retten, Français: sauver une relation, Русский: исправить отношения, 中文: 修复一段感情, Nederlands: Je relatie redden, Čeština: Jak spravit vztah, Bahasa Indonesia: Memperbaiki Hubungan, العربية: إصلاح العلاقة بين الزوجين, Tiếng Việt: Hàn gắn một Mối Quan hệ, ไทย: ฟื้นฟูความสัมพันธ์ให้กลับมาดีเหมือนเดิม, 한국어: 인간 관계를 개선하는 법


Is it appropriate to post or allow friend to post pictures in my social media like FB of me with another male?? even if we are friends but it can come across as more then friends. Is been 3 months that my on-off boyfriend of 4 yrs left the house we share for the 3 years, his excuses was that I would be better without him, is not the first time he leaves but I had been the one who always reach out to him and “convince him to come back”, I want different results so is been 2 weeks that I staring applying the no contact method and he has not contact me either.
As much flack as classic romantic comedies receive for being unrealistic, some of their messages ring loud and true when explaining why men pull away. More often than not, experts explain most men withdraw for one of three reasons: they’re lost interest because he doesn’t see a future for your twosome, he’s afraid of becoming too vulnerable with you, or he feels rushed to commit to a more serious union.
Keep him on his toes a little to make him wonder where you stand sometimes. Asking him what he is doing every minute of every day and planning things to do without giving him the opportunity to say yes or no can be signs you are becoming clingy and falling too easily for him. As we all know, it should be a mutual chase between the man or the woman. If the balance is off, it becomes too easy for him to take you for granted.

My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. He said he craves for independence and he he still loves me but that’s just what’s right to do. He pushed me away whenever I try to get close or hug or lean my head against his back. I really love him and I want to get him back but we are flatmates, we live together and I don’t know how to do the no contact? And I’ve gone home for a few days and I didn’t tell him where I was going. I’ll be going back in a few days and I’ll be seeing him again. What should I tell him if he asks me where I went? I don’t want to look like a loser grieving so much for our relationship. And I really want to get him back.
My boyfriend and I have been arguing because I say things that he doesn’t like and I am in love with him and want to marry him he is the ONE, and I know and feel it, he feels the same and loves me as well and does see a future with my kids and I, I need to completely stop all the things that I say because I know that I am going to lose him and I don’t want to I’m scared to death that I am going to lose him, and have never been this scared to lose someone in my life, he’s such a good guy and he’s good to me and my kids, I have been completely depressed for a few days and I have been crying on a daily basis but he said that he feels he can’t talk to me anymore because I get mad at everything he says, how can I help him believe what I say and have him talk to me about things?? How can I turn things around for the better with us?? My biggest fear is losing him. I would do anything to turn things around for the better. He is still affectionate with me and tells me that he loves me everyday he is just being distant from me right now because of the things that I have said and if I could go back and change things I would in a heartbeat and from all of this going on I will never say anything like what I have again and I told him that but he doesn’t believe me and I told him that I want things to be as they were. I apologize for this being all over the place I have like I said been so depressed that I can’t even think straight, I haven’t eaten in 3 days as well. He has been so forgiving and patient with me and he is an amazing man I just don’t know what to do or say to him to help him believe that what I’m saying is real. I totally trust him I know that in my heart he would NEVER cheat on me it’s against his morals and he is a very honest and loyal man as well, I can’t and don’t want to screw this up with him, he is my world and couldn’t ask for more. He is my best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life, we are still together but I feel that he can’t be with me anymore because of the stuff that I have said. I’m torn into shreds right now and I want to prove to him that I can back up my word but I don’t know how to do that.
I am dating a guy in a distance relationship for about three months, at the beggining we felt unbelievable connection soulmate like, he said he wants to marry and have children, he was caring and sweet (flowers, gifts, lots of time together). However I know he cheated on me at the very beginning of dating (I forgived him because that was very fresh relation).
There was no “trick” to getting Mary back for good. Going through a tragedy had changed me. It was terrible, but it helped me grow the hell up, and by the time Mary and I crossed paths again, I was ready to be the kind of person who texts back and keeps plans and buys presents for no apparent reason. We don’t yell at each other in the street anymore, and that’s pretty cool.
It has ended here and I am just dying to find a solution to all this mess I have created with my clumsiness. I have a gift I made for him that i carried around with me since January 6 because we never knew when we would be able to meet. I had this idea to send it to him with a note “this is yours, made on January 6th. There is no point for me to keep it anymore.” But I am not sure what kind of message it will send because I am not even able to guess the most probable reason of all this behavior. He is the nice guy type, who gives and asks for affection. He would just keep hugging and holding my hand when i am around. But would not realise he missed me until we meet again (he said that). He lives with his sister and is very close to her and to his parents who live in another city. Whenever he did something careless he knows but does not say it. Instead he would become a bit more talkative about details of what he is doing or something.. until I mention it, then once faced with it he apologises. We are 29 and 31 years old and have been together for 4 months, during which he said “I love you” mederately and only at the right moments.
I’m sorry Eileen, i keep bugging…but he thinks I’m playing mind games w him bc I messed up in the beginning and it was a complete misunderstanding… and said if I don’t get in touch with him that he will find someone else to keep himself from getting depressed. It’s funny bc ever since I been giving him space, he been trying to text and call me alot…this guy is very difficult since I used to push him away bc I felt like I was not good enough for him…I’m trying to b positive
Allow me to jump in because I have had a great deal of experience with this scenario. I’m a grandmother, a beautiful grandmother and I’m totally head over hills for the man I’m dating. We live in separate states which at first caused great concern. I even broke it off completely. I sensed that the issue was mine – not his – so I jumped right in with both feet to find out what was the “deeper” issue. Come to find out, I had an issue from childhood – anxious attachment – which stems from my mother (I won’t go into all the details here). Needless to say, I had never dealt with this anxious attachment (Google it), and it was surfacing from his pulling away. Once God healed me of this syndrome, I have never had any problem with his, what we call, pulling away. I need my space – he needs his space. I’m so glad this was resolved. Six months later, he sent me a text and we are back together again – probably forever! But, if not, I can move on and wish him the best!
Another reason your man act differently is based on fear. Maybe he’s been hurt in the past. Or maybe the idea of commitment simply petrifies him. If you two can discuss whatever the issue is and begin to deal with it, there’s a good chance that you can then begin to create something real and lasting together. Often, fears crop up in a relationship because a person wants to deal with those doubts and move past them. If you can be a steady, reassuring partner that isn’t pushing too hard, while he deals with what’s scaring him, you two just might build a foundation together.
My best advice is that you have to feel it out. Generally, if you are responding emotionally to her messages then she is probably responding emotionally to yours. The key to leaving her wanting more is finding the high point of the emotional conversation. In other words, you need to keep an eye out for a text message that satisfy all three characteristics.
My last boyfriend had a pattern of pulling away. He’d say he was busy or overwhelmed with work, or sick, but he wouldn’t let me come over to help. I believed him and I believed in myself, so I didn’t let this bother me too much. One day, though, I snapped and yelled at him: “Why don’t you just let me come over? You say you want to move in together next year but you won’t even let me bring you soup when you’re sick? Just let me in!” It was then that he confessed. He had been binge drinking… Read more »
my ex and i broke up a couple of months ago. He broke up with me because he did not want a relationship anymore and i cheated on him. We dated for almost two years..After our break up he wanted to be friends and i didn’t. i want to be more and this kept going back and forth. We did hu a couples of times and he would say i love you. He said he wanted something more but not a relationship and not exclusive. I told we can talk to be something or we don’t talk anymore so we agreed on not talking.. We were on good terms and we said i love you and stop talking for a few days. But i texted and he said he doesn’t want to talk to me and he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.. so i need advice should i just give him time and see what happens? what should i do? I still have feeling for this guy and i don’t know if he even does.
What I am going to share with you now is the most common reasons being men’s disappearing acts! As you read through this article, it’s essential that you understand that men are natural born hunters who enjoy the chase. If he is interested in having you as his girlfriend, he will show you this with his actions. Be careful to never settle for a man that isn’t giving you 100% with his actions but is saying everything with his words. This is where a lot of women run into trouble in their search for a good man. Pay attention to his actions more than his words.
Hi Ray! Thank you very much for the male perspective. I am dating a man who is 11 years older, I’m 26 and he is 37. He works out in the ocean and a lot of times we have minimal conversation via text/call. But when we are together everything is great and we get along very well. When he doesn’t have to wake in the wee ours or work out of town, he is with me every single weekend. We have been together six months and I have met all his close friends and friends kids. I have done well so far in respecting his space. When he’s a weekend with his guy friends, I am understanding and just ask him to contact me once when he is back in town so he feels he is not missing out on what he loves. However, this past weekend he had a sailboat race on the weekend which he let me know in advance and we had plans for friday night. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. I was emotionally unstable that weekend due to some work stress and family leaving so I needed him the most that friday. I did not think of my actions and instead of politely rescheduling for Monday, I blew him up – sent him various texts showing how I did not appreciate he canceled although it wasn’t his fault. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. On Sunday I was so desperate that I passed by his house. His roomate was there and told me he hand’t come home yet. Since I blew him up friday, I have had no response to any of my texts nor has he answered any of my calls. I am very afraid that I scared him away and threatened his freedom. I also came out as desperate for going to his place. Today is Wednesday and I hadn’t reached out till Sunday. I sent him a very short/casual text apologizing for taking out my stress on him and for not letting him have his space, to which I got no response. I am going to wait a few days and hopefully he will come around, as our relationship has matured and he’s told me how much he cares for me. Did I blow this up completely since it has been 4 days with no response?
Allow me to jump in because I have had a great deal of experience with this scenario. I’m a grandmother, a beautiful grandmother and I’m totally head over hills for the man I’m dating. We live in separate states which at first caused great concern. I even broke it off completely. I sensed that the issue was mine – not his – so I jumped right in with both feet to find out what was the “deeper” issue. Come to find out, I had an issue from childhood – anxious attachment – which stems from my mother (I won’t go into all the details here). Needless to say, I had never dealt with this anxious attachment (Google it), and it was surfacing from his pulling away. Once God healed me of this syndrome, I have never had any problem with his, what we call, pulling away. I need my space – he needs his space. I’m so glad this was resolved. Six months later, he sent me a text and we are back together again – probably forever! But, if not, I can move on and wish him the best!
You should investigate whether he is not being loving or interested, or if he’s just not doing that in the way that you expect or are used to. You may have unspoken expectations or fantasies of what a relationship should look like, and your projections are getting in the way of appreciating the good relationship you actually have. It sounds like you might have different love languages as well, where you need a lot of verbal affirmation and maybe that’s not his strong suit. That is something you can discuss with him and ask for more of. You can tell him what’s working for you and what’s not, or that you’re unsure whether he’s into you romantically despite all the evidence, and try to hear and understand where he is coming from.
The rationale is that you will become more attractive and desirable when your ex experience a twinge of jealousy that comes from knowing that other people find you attractive post-breakup. This tactic is called social proof which is very powerful. When other people find you attractive and fun, your ex is more likely to see you the same way as well.

As much flack as classic romantic comedies receive for being unrealistic, some of their messages ring loud and true when explaining why men pull away. More often than not, experts explain most men withdraw for one of three reasons: they’re lost interest because he doesn’t see a future for your twosome, he’s afraid of becoming too vulnerable with you, or he feels rushed to commit to a more serious union.
Here;s an interesting one and maybe I am being a brat but I'm going to ask anyway. Late October I started seeing this guy. I did everything wrong one the first date, but I din't care one bit because I honestly didn't find him to be great looking. Super nice, great dresser, good body, but different than I expected. Anyway, we went out again because if a guy seems to have most of the qualities I like, if I think he's super nice and cool, I'll give it a try. We sleep together on date 2 and again, I DON'T CARE that I probably should not have. He still wants to see me though. After date four, I decide I'm just trying to like the guy so I tell him I can't see him anymore. I don't say exactly why but that something is not there.He starts to ask why and then backs off (smart) and takes it like a gentleman.That was after like 2 weeks. The next day or two all I do is tell my friends about this and it occurs to me I'm thinking about him nonstop. So I text him and BAM! Back together, dating and having the best sex I have EVER had in my life. We text a lot, he intiates, I don'tact needy at all... It's nice, it's warm, it's sexy, it's just great. THEN... his mom dies. He has to leave town but he just keeps on texting me the whole time. Before that he even invited me into his own world at a ceremony he had to attend. Up to this point he says thing like when you meet so and so and things like that. While out of town, everything is still great and he says he doesn't want to dwell on his mom.I respect that so I don't push at all. Before he gets back he he says he needs to take me to his home town (a popular vacation destination). When he gets back I meet him but his flight was delayed so it's pretty late (not normal for us to do late night stuff like that). I even said if it's too late let's reschedule. He says no so I go. The next day is fine... texting blah blah blah, but the following day he seems to be distant. I do nothing. The next day, today, I text him first. He says he had a headache the day before but it's probably stress over deciding to leave an old job for a new one and a lawsuit he's in. He then tells me about it. But.... he definitely seems more distant than when his mom died, so I'm thinking am I just being a complete brat here or is he actually losing interest. It seems really obvious to me but I have recently decided I don't make excuses for a man's behaviour any more. If they want you, no matter the circumstances, you know it. what's your take? Feel free to completely call me out, if I am just being a big baby here. At this point, I actually do really like the guy. I wish he would say something like "I'm cray about you" or something but his actions up to this point have been great so saying words may be a bit much to expect less than 2 months in anyway. Either way, I just want to know if I should completely bail at this point because I hate this feeling!

Hi, I have been talking with a man that is older then me. He is very private and he needed space so I gave it to him. Out of respect cause I once was in his shoes. And found myself again when i had my own time. We haven't had sex in the months we been together. Just talking and enjoying one another company. There are times he asks me to stay with him more now days and I do. Still no Sex, alot of kissing and holding. Then we both stop one another before it goes further. Why? Idk but we respect one another more. But I have noticed we have recently stopped talking like we use to. The convos shorten. Our conversations are about our days, and some sexting or just straight talk n tease about being romantic. We just have fun. I do know he dont to hurt me, n he is afraid of his own actions. He's the touchy feely type with women. And it surprises him I don't get mad or jealous. He tells me he ain't use to the way I act towards stuff like that. I've asked him if he's trying to push me away he says no then he says maybe... I don't feel he is cheating, I just think we are both scared to take the next step. Cause we both hurt and was hurt in our last relationships. Getting confused need some advice.


I might feel a bit regret for loving him that i feel heartbroken now..But whatever it is, the days we spent together was really one of the happiest moment in my life so i never regretted every moment of it. Bad news is, i find it hard to move on.. like seriously am i obsessed with him now? it feels like hopes are there you know, and its not giving up. i just wanted to talk to him. A single hey from him would make my year, but it seems like impossible. *sigh* life…
In addition to the pulling away he is very cruel when he drinks. Calling me horrible names and tries to make me feel beneath him. I know this is huge red flags but love makes us do crazy things. We’re both sexually open minded but he tells me I’m a liar about talking about having another woman intimately. I feel him and I aren’t ready for this. At least I’m not ready. It’s a unhealthy dysfunctional relationship and while he has his faults I know I push him to the limits. (Blowing up how phone etc)
Hi. I have never posted anything online about relationship problems but I am confused and would really love some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for over 8 years. Those 8 years have been amazing. We have always loved spending time together and could never get enough of one another. We have never lived together but we would see each other at least 3 times a week and would always call and text each other when we were apart. But two weeks ago, I noticed that he was upset all of a sudden. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he didn’t know. So he took some time to think about it and he told me that he thinks he doesn’t feel the spark between us anymore. He said that he felt as if when we were hanging out that he was just hanging out with a best friend. So naturally I was very upset because this was a major surprise to me. I thought we were fine and doing great. After he told me, he said that he did not want to break up and that he would do anything to fix this. Before I left his house, we hastily decided to stop seeing each other as much and would go out on dates once a week. He also told me that he would always call at least once a day. The week that followed was one of the worst in my life. I felt rejected and couldn’t understand why he would feel that way. During that week even though he did call everyday, I still felt there was this major distance between us. I ended up canceling our date that week in order to reflect on our relationship. When I thought about it, I realized that we haven’t done anything romantic for one another in a long time and I believe that we took each other for granted. He seemed like he was fine when I cancelled the date, but later on he admitted that he was actually really upset but he didn’t want to show that to me. He has been better this week about communicating with me more. He has texted and called more. He even brought me dinner one day and we ate together. He has also still shown major interest in me sexually, but we both agree to wait on that until we figure some things out. Even though this week has been a little better, I still feel as if there is a major distance between us. When he sees me, he doesn’t want to kiss me because he said that he would feel like he is betraying me and he has stopped all together saying that he loves me. So I don’t know what is the best action to take in order to help mend this relationship. I was thinking of possibly seeing each other another day a week in order to reconnect and communicate about our relationship and so our dates can be for having fun. Or I don’t know if it would be beneficial to see a couples counselor. So any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

I’m in a casual relationship with the grounds of monogamous, enjoy yourself, no lies or withholding information and if feelings change tell the other with my ex. When I mentioned that I feel like it seems like it’s just for sex and I’ll be left in the dust in future, he always reassures me that it’s not just for sex. His view on this type of relationship was “i’m not saying I just want a fwb/booty call. The way I see it a casual relationship is the middle ground between the two (fwb and serious).” And that there was potential of getting back together but no guarantee. Do you think that this is slowly on track to us getting back together or am I just setting myself up for hurt in the long run? He broke up with me and I also found out later on he started ‘kinda’ dating my ‘friend’ who I always confided about the relationship and knew everything. Prior to breakup it felt as they had an emotional affair. They’re broken up and they both tell me they haven’t talked since, this interaction with my ex is kept down low and secretive as we just want to chill back for awhile after all that has happened. I understand that we’re not ready to jump back into how things were but I like the feeling of commitment and security (?) one has with the label of girlfriend and boyfriend. Do you have any advice to offer me? I asked him if he trusted me he said there isn’t anything not to trust me with and he knows that I’m still building trust with him but I’m taking the chance of slowly trying.

If you cannot control your feelings, then I would suggest for you not to maintain a relationship with this person. Furthermore, I always think it’s vital to any starting point in dating or a relationship to be clear about each other’s expectations. If you are looking for a relationship, then let the other person know early on! If not, then say so. There have been too many times that I’ve seen a woman dating a man for months on end, only to end up getting hurt because it became a purely physical “modern relationship” in which the man never truly committed. The two never set the expectations for a relationship, or the woman sat in silence out of fear of being pushed away, hoping he would come around.

Some people try to be there for their ex. They walk their dog, they show up at their door with some gifts, and other things. This hinders your value, and makes them wish you were gone. Aside from cutting off communication, it’s imperative that you are not visible. You cannot be seen by her, by your own doing. This will create value, as absence makes the heart grow fonder. You’ll force her to think about you, and will not let her have control, you’ll be in control.
Hi Lauren, this couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. My boyfriend of 7 years, broke up with me a week ago. I have read most of the Mars Venus books and am currently reading Mars and Venus: Starting Over. I'm not ready to give up on the relationship, he is my everything. He claims, he's afraid of commitment and that I can't make him happy for the rest of his life, but also claimed I'm perfect and don't need to change at all. Gave me the "it's not you, it's me" thing. I still have hope that if I give him his space he will change his mind and I'm not to the point where I can think about him not changing his mind, that is too hard. I have broken down and texted him a few times and told him how I was feeling. I stopped talking to him over the weekend and on day 4, I woke up to a text from him. It wasn't anything about us, just a video of a silly dog. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if he still cares? Is it just the friendship he misses? He claims I'm still his best friend. I can't be friends with him, I'm still in love with him. I know every situation is different and you ultimately can't tell he what he is thinking, but I guess do you think if I give him his space, he might come back? ...

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