Hello, it’s the best article I have ever read. I have just ended up the relationship with my boyfriend and the article gives me some insights indeed. But I was wondering if I could get personal advice? May I share my whole story and may I possibly get the most effective and suitable advice for my problems? I would be pleased if you reply me. I will be looking forward to….
So my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and 4 months. Honestly he was obsessed and so was I but i became too comfortable. He was my world and I never thought he would leave me. He would always chase after me and showering me with love and it made me the happiest person alive. One day he got tired of fighting with me and he dumped. told me he didnt want me anymore. I looked like a fool, i begged i cried i ran after him but he just walked away with his head up. it was so painfully. he blocked me on everything so i dont have contact but if i text him he will usually unblock to read my messages. it hurts so bad and as messed up as it is i still want him. I want him back so badly it kills.
He could of went out on a night out in those days, kissed another girl or something. So I wanted him to properly decide his decision before he did this. 2 days after we broke up, I went to his house to give him back his stuff (bad idea I know!), I just wanted to see him so bad and wanted to know his final decision. I knew it wasn’t going to be good and it wasn’t. He didn’t want to get with me.
√We’ve contacted each other only a few times since the breakup. Recently he called me after 10:00 pm to chat since I was going away to work out of town. I missed his call so i called him back about an hour& 1/2 later. He called again to wish me happy birthday Early in the a.m. I picked up and the convo was nice. He’s pulled back tho now. Deliberately I feel…or moved on… Whatever the case,I don’t know how to deal with my feelings.I want to contact him but I don’t know if I should. I’m in paint from missing him and not having the guts to tell him. I’ve gone out with one other guys since then and even worked a lot,still he stays on my mind.
HW (Helen), I'm so happy to hear those books and resources were helpful to you in a difficult time. I'd have to know more about the relationship to give you a more confident answer but if you feel like there was a big enough bond between you in the first place, then you could always try sending this letter. Worst case scenario, he doesn't respond and you've got a clear answer so that you can move on. Hope this helped!
Keep him on his toes a little to make him wonder where you stand sometimes. Asking him what he is doing every minute of every day and planning things to do without giving him the opportunity to say yes or no can be signs you are becoming clingy and falling too easily for him. As we all know, it should be a mutual chase between the man or the woman. If the balance is off, it becomes too easy for him to take you for granted.
my relationship was of 2.5 years.its been two months(breakup).reason was that i was saying him to take breakup because he was busy two three days.it was like three breakups in a week and then patchups becuz of me.i was always do this brkup dialouge when i was quarrelling with him.this time it gets serious.he is saying that there are 6-7 years to our marriage.it cannot get to the marriage like this.i am also an introvert type.this is also a little problem.my relation is long distant.we didnt meet.means breakup was on watsapp.
Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
With most of my coaching clients, I tell them that texting is usually the best route when communicating with their exes… although there are occasionally certain scenarios where texting might not be the right move. (For instance, if you and your ex never texted one another during your relationship, it might be weird to all of a sudden start texting him or her.)
In this article, I am going to walk you through a step by step process on why these issues may happen. I ask for you to not only read but take the time to see if any of these situations sit with you. Once you notice a situation that has occurred for you previously or currently I want you to ask yourself where this is coming from? I work with many clients and this is the most common thing woman face these days. I invite you to share your comments below and I will personally answer questions you may have and try to give you my advice tailored to the question you’ve asked. I love hearing from you so please feel free to post a comment.
Another frequent error is wanting to talk constantly about the past in your messages. You have to stop focusing on your nostalgia and on what you’ve experienced together. You ex needs something else. It’s of course tempting to send a little message saying, “I miss you,” “I love you,” or “My feelings for you are still strong.” Truth be told, during this stage these types of things can damage your odds of success so refrain from sending them.
I was in a relationship with a guy who suffers with depression we had our ups and dwn i started txting an ex over a year ago it stopped 5 mnth after he my bf found out and we gt through it we drifted apart bout 4 mnth ago but was txting he wanted me bk 2 week ago told me he misses me etc i spoke to him on phone 2 week ago he said we need to talk so i arranged to go out sat he never turned up then txt me saying he dnt want to be with me thats when i started hounding him txt messages phone calls which in en he blocked me he came ova a week ago to talk he clamed up woundnt talk to me told me i was pushing him away hes got things in his head agen bout me txting my ex i miss him so much dnt know what to do started 30 day no contact i am in such a state at minute
“Can you tell me why men pull away?” This is one of the most common questions I hear in my coaching sessions. So why do they pull away? In this article, I am going to walk you through different scenarios that can shed light on why this may be happening to you and give you a different perspective to reflect on and make this stop once and for all. This is a common trend in today’s society, and if you have landed on this article, I know that you have probably been directly affected by it or are afraid of experiencing this with someone you’re interested in.
Hi Lauren- I broke up with my ex the night before he was moving out of state (not cool, I know). I needed some time to figure things out and work on myself. I want to try again. I wrote him an apology for ending things the way I did 2.5 weeks ago with no response (he also did not respond to a simple email about his mail 1 month ago). Is it still a good idea to send the "I want to try again" letter? I'm at a loss what to do. Our relationship was not bad, but he was pulling away and I didn't know what to do so I ran. He seems either angry or distant or not wanting to engage and since it has been 2 months I'm not sure how much more time I should give this. I feel like we could have something wonderful given another chance (I have the tools now but I'm not sure he is ready to try). Do I call and say it? Send a letter? Send an email? Do nothing? I am in CA and he is in MO so meeting would be hard, but I would be willing to go out there for a weekend. I really want to try but I don't know what to do... If he doesn't want to try I will accept that and move on. Carrie...
My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.
If you and your ex have had some cool-down time — meaning that you've had some contact since the breakup and you don't get the feeling that they're super upset — suggesting a casual meeting is totally OK. However, suggesting specifics of when to meet up can definitely feel like you're applying some pressure. Instead, leaving the ball in their court by suggesting you meet up "some time" is a great way of opening up the possibility without coming across as too pushy. This text is super versatile and can totally work if you just want to reconnect as friends, or if you're interested in getting back together but aren't sure where their head is at.
Guys are going to naturally cycle between wanting intimacy and wanting independence. Trying to guess the reason is impossible – some guys want space to reflect on the relationship, some more insecure guys may even want space because their friends make fun of them for being “too whipped”, some guys want space because they need time alone to clear their heads and gain clarity in life. Maybe hes struggling with a personal issue, or with his work. The reason could be anything for a multitude of different reasons.
Our relationship was not a relationship at all ,I see now..I was too naive to understand how to handle a relationship.It began suddenly within one week of Facebook chatting,then we went on dates whatever but I never tried to show the rights on him! I didn't call if he didn't and he used to remain without calling for several days ,I wondered if he doesn't miss me at all! But I didn't understand the difference between being needy and being way too nice to not being needy at all ,like whatever he did,even if I felt bad I used to remain too much cool and told him that it was okay!!! Because maybe I put him on a pedestal,maybe I thought that it would cause resentment and fighting ,so let it be and I compromised! Probably I lost my high value and he started pulling away and I also didn't say anything to him at that time..but when he ended the relationship he just said that he never felt that he was in a relationship with me..
Hi Appollonia thank you for the article I thought it was great. I started dating a guy back in June 2018, it was like a whirl wind romance we were seeing each other at least 3/4 times a week, he asked me to meet his mum after about a week i said no its to soon, then within a month I had met his mum, best friend, sister, female friends, Aunty, cousins. He was bringing me to family events, buying me shoes, cooking for me, spontaneously turning up with flowers and breakfast, coming to my family events, staying with me for a whole week. For 2 months I spoke to him every single day. Then after 2 months he bought us tickets for a festival and at the event we had an argument whereby I had apparently reprimanded like a child. From that point everything changed, he became distant and we were constantly arguing. So I broke up with him in September, but he came back saying he wanted to reconcile. In October we talked and got back together, but he continued to be distant and make little effort, not returning my calls and messages for 24/48, telling me we're meeting up but never making a plan to do so. Always saying he's busy working as an excuse as to why we are not meeting. In December I broke it off again. We were at the same event in January and again he said he wanted to try again, saying we should go away for the weekend and spend quality time rebuilding our relationship this of course never materialised and 3 weeks later I blocked him on phone calls, whats app, and social media. It's now been 2 months since I blocked him and he hasn't tried to contact me by other means. I still love him and want him, but I have been working on myself and will not settle for less than I deserve. However I still don't understand why he changed and why we he became all talk and no action.
Now it is just about two years later. We are happily in love, lI’ve together and have never had a fight or argument. We’ve had disagreements, naturally, but we work through them effortlessly. He is an amazing and loving partner. He holds me if I cry, and supports me following my dreams. He’s there for me everyday and never leaves me wondering or waiting. He now knows what a real relationship is, and actively shows me all of the love I could have ever asked for. He talks about marriage and kids all the time, and we’re so happy.
Hi Ray! Thank you very much for the male perspective. I am dating a man who is 11 years older, I’m 26 and he is 37. He works out in the ocean and a lot of times we have minimal conversation via text/call. But when we are together everything is great and we get along very well. When he doesn’t have to wake in the wee ours or work out of town, he is with me every single weekend. We have been together six months and I have met all his close friends and friends kids. I have done well so far in respecting his space. When he’s a weekend with his guy friends, I am understanding and just ask him to contact me once when he is back in town so he feels he is not missing out on what he loves. However, this past weekend he had a sailboat race on the weekend which he let me know in advance and we had plans for friday night. He reached out friday night saying that turns out he had to be at the venue in the wee hours so he would not be able to make our plans. I was emotionally unstable that weekend due to some work stress and family leaving so I needed him the most that friday. I did not think of my actions and instead of politely rescheduling for Monday, I blew him up – sent him various texts showing how I did not appreciate he canceled although it wasn’t his fault. I called numerous times in the weekend and texted many times while he was supposed to have time with his friends in the tournament. On Sunday I was so desperate that I passed by his house. His roomate was there and told me he hand’t come home yet. Since I blew him up friday, I have had no response to any of my texts nor has he answered any of my calls. I am very afraid that I scared him away and threatened his freedom. I also came out as desperate for going to his place. Today is Wednesday and I hadn’t reached out till Sunday. I sent him a very short/casual text apologizing for taking out my stress on him and for not letting him have his space, to which I got no response. I am going to wait a few days and hopefully he will come around, as our relationship has matured and he’s told me how much he cares for me. Did I blow this up completely since it has been 4 days with no response?