For this next step, you’ll definitely need to tread lightly. When done incorrectly, this trick can backfire and kill any chance of you reuniting with your ex (if that’s your end goal, of course.) If you want your ex to really miss you, one of the easiest way to get him to take notice of you is to show up with a new date on your arm. Your new guy doesn’t even have to be hot, and as a matter of fact, you don’t even have to like him. He’s there to serve a purpose and one purpose only: to make your ex insanely jealous. Don’t stick your tongue down the poor guy’s throat or grope him right in front of your ex though. Keep things platonic, and let your ex’s mind wander. It’s true, we always want what we can’t have, and if your ex thinks you’re spending your nights wrapped up in the arms of someone new, he will do whatever it takes to bring you back into his life!
What is your advice with my next step? I’ve given myself a week away from him because of exams anyway and time to gather my thoughts. Should I bother bringing it up again, should I stop sleeping with him or should I keep sleeping with him in the hope that he will give me what I want eventually? I guess where I’m confused is that if I stop sleeping with him… he may see me as needy and full on considering it’s only 3 months in. But at the same time I don’t want to keep sleeping with him if it is just going to hurt me and he will never give me what I want.
Answer: Stop being so aggressive. The more you push, the more he is going to pull away. Give him some space to figure stuff out without all the questions and accusations. If you push him too far, you are going to lose him. If you take some of the pressure off, he may just find his way back to you. [Read: 20 glaring signs you have a control freak in you]
They’re overbearing, nagging, and completely disconnected from their man by refusing to acknowledge he has feelings of his own. Women tend to forget that women are generally emotional trains waiting to derail any second. What a self-centered attitude to tell a man to “get over it” whenever they feel mad, hurt, or sad. You are literally commanding him to.. *drum roll*… WITHDRAW!
Has your man ever been described as a player? While you may think that your relationship with one another is progressing at a good a pace, a man may pull away when he senses that things between the two of you are getting too serious. If he's interested in more of a fling than a committed, long-term relationship, he may put up a wall in order to stall or stop whatever's progressing between the two of you. At the same time, if he's feeling a lot of pressure from you to commit or your relationship is moving at a rapid pace, he may also choose to act in a distant manner in order to slow things down and take the time he needs to figure out what he really wants going forward. 
Hard to tell what’s the difference between giving him space and receiving cold violence from him. But my opinion is if his not talking to you makes you feel very painful, then there’s no difference between giving him weeks or months of space. Relationships should be more about trying to make both sides happier rather than sad. Try to stay away from toxic people and relationships. Take care of yourself and people who you love and who love you. Go make friends and have fun! Relationship is a necessary for humans, romantic relationships may not. Good luck beautiful babes!
This has nothing to do with money, but instead, it has everything to do with small favors that he can perform for you. If you’re stuck on the side of the road, ask him to pick you up. Or, if you can’t reach the light fixture in your bedroom, ask him to come over and change the bulb for you. These small tasks may not seem like much, but over time, he will subconsciously feel attached to you because of all of the work that he has put in. People tend to like you more if they do favors for you, it’s a theory called the "Ben Franklin Effect.” So continue to ask him to do small things here and there. In no time, he’ll feel so connected to you, he will be anxious to ask you to be his girlfriend!
Believe that you are special and allow your man time to make himself aware of that. That means, you should have your dignity and not run or jump at his every beckon call. Through little actions such as, not answering a text in a matter of nanoseconds, will tell him that you are a busy woman who isn’t only focused on him. Plan time for yourself, and tell him politely that you will have to see him another time. He will start realizing that you have your own thoughts and opinions, as well as your own life, and that will drive him to you even more. Men won't be so attentive if they think that your life revolves around them. Make him get curious and wonder what is happening with you. Dont always spell it out for him.

You begin interacting with the thoughts in your head rather than with the person in front of you. Rather than trying to learn who he is and what he’s about, you look at his behavior and the things he says as a means to measure how he feels about you… and whether you’re getting closer or further away from your goal of having a relationship with him.
End the conversation first. Start hanging up the phone or ending the text conversation before he does, especially if you’re usually the last to say goodbye. Being the first to end the conversation will leave him wanting more, and keep you on his mind until he talks to you again. This longing for more communication will start to drive him wild with his desire to talk to you.[3]
Have you ever noticed that when you put all of your focus on someone it seems to push them away? That's why removing your focus from your ex will actually draw him closer to you! This is when meeting new friends will come in handy. If you really want your ex to miss you, you need to step outside of your comfort zone a bit. Of course it is important to keep a strong support system and keep the friends that you have made throughout the years, but expanding your social circle and making a few new friends can’t hurt either. By expanding your circle, it will fill up your social calendar with various events and outings to keep you busy and to keep your mind off of your ex.
Men are always more attracted to women who seem successful, independent (in career and in personal interests) and who are “busier” than average. This immediately shows a man you can handle yourself and your own issues, and you don’t “need” him to save you. The fact that you’re busy all the time shows high value – he really has to try to get your attention!
One of the most important pieces of relationship advice for women is to have fun with your partner. Being able to joke around, go on adventures, and laugh together as a couple will help you be better able to weather any future storms that may arise. You and your partner should make an effort to go out, bring back date night, travel to exotic places, and try new things as a couple in order to keep the spark alive between the two of you. So instead of sitting on the couch each night binge-watching Netflix, take your relationship out of the house and find new and exciting activities to try.

my fiance is going off to basic training, he leaves a few hours after i'm writing this for 4 months. iv'e already cried my eyes out to the point my head hurts. he is not going to have his phone for maybe two months, by that point ill be back in school after the summer ends. i am so scared of the space that will be between us. i know that he will be away doing things to better our future but it really hurts and he hasn't left yet, we don't live together yet because we don't have the money for an apartment. we just said the last goodnight we could for a long time. i miss him so much and he isn't even two states away yet... i'm going to be spending my birthday alone for the first time in a long time. all my friends have too much going on, and my family doesn't care. he will have left 6 days before my birthday. this is going to be a hard one and i'm positive that i will cry a lot. at least now i can work on getting ahead in school.

Ok so I don’t know how to start. My boyfriend and I had a 5 year age gap. And I recently just had him end a relationship of 1 year and like 9 months. We met on Facebook through a mutual friend and talked for a couple weeks in the beginning of Dec. 2016 until his birthday in January of 2017. Three days after his birthday party he invited me back over to hangout with him and the female mutual friend (who I met through work, she was like his older sister, she told me. And his neighbor) Anyway it was just me and him hanging out for a few hours and by the end of the night he romantically asked me to be his girlfriend, because we talked for weeks before meeting and he wanted to exclusively see me and date. I said yes. Fast forward maybe a month or a couple months and things were going great. We hungout on weekends, he came into my work to see me right after he got out from work almost every other day. It was very sweet. We went to movies, we went to his friends & his parents and were doing all kinds of stuff. People I knew from work would come to his house and hangout, watch movies, play games etc. Then I finally confessed to my parents that I was staying at his house (basically living there, I stayed 3 or more nights with him.) Everythjng was exciting and fun & sweet. Fast forward a week maybe and he asked me to move in. I said yes and told my parents my decision. I’m a cluttery/messy person.. and he’s OCD. Anyway after we were together over a year he said that maybe we should break up. He said he loved me very much but the house was always a mess (and I was working a ton of late nights as a pharmacy tech & always studying so I was tired. ) He told me the house being dirty was depressing and things with our relationship weren’t as exciting as the beginning. I managed to ask him to give me another try, I promised to keep the house clean & to do more activities with him. For a few months things were great, we went to his friends almost every weekend. We enjoyed activities with his & my parents. And we still hungout with our mutual friend (his neighbor).i ended up quitting my job and we went to Florida for 2weeks. We stayed with his family along the way and I met everyone. That was this past april. Things were great. We even recently went to Wisconsin together for a family wedding. Then tragedy hit over 10 days ago. His parents had moved down south before April, and I knew he missed them a lot. He rarely spoke compared to his every day phone calls with them. They were always busy now. So he invited one of his best friends to stay for a week with us to kinda pick himself back up I guess. It created tensions between us. We went to get him downstate for the weekend and I don’t like doing things outdoors/active.. idk why. Anyway ever since then he stopped holding my hand & kissing me goodbye before work. He even stopped kissing me when he got home from work, he withdrew from me almost completely, and I’ve always been clingy. But I was coming up on 7 months with no work and money was tight so I blamed it on that. Long story short he broke up with me 10 days ago. He said we are two different people and he needs an active and clean/neat partner. And I need someone to motivate and wake me up when repetition happens because I can deal with the same thing everyday. But not him. So for the past 7 months I’ve been trying to sell soaps. And he hasn’t been exactly supportive. He doesn’t talk about it. We would fight because he wouldn’t say anything positive he just would say oh cool. But he wasn’t negative or thought it was stupid either, I got his mom into the hobby. I miss him now. I don’t know if he will ever comeback. I’m desparate.. I was with him for almost 2 years, so many memories, i moved in with him and left my family & friends behind. They lived 30 minutes from where we lived. Nobody ever visited because of distance. I was ready to marry him, and at one point he did too. But the day we broke up he said something was missing in his life and he needed time alone. I have so much I could say, but this is already too long. And I recently made an okcupid account and found he had reactivsted his old one. I am so depressed that he’s moving on already. He didn’t want to give me anymore chances to change and he didn’t want to fix things.. But he swore up and down he’s always supported and loved me. He said he still loves me but we don’t work. Somebody please reply, I’m losing my best friend and the man I love. I know couples can change & grow together in relationships, I just feel because he’s depressed and isolated from everybody hat he’s pushing me away too.. I can do but leave him alone because he doesn’t like to message me anymore. I had a new phone he persuaded me to get with him when he wanted one too, everything was contract & in his name. It was a hassle to get it switched back to me & make payments w/o a job. Same with my car insurance. We were looking at houses and everything. It was like overnight he changed..
Guys like girls who have a focus – whether it is studies, sports, career or any other activity. Show him that you are a woman with dreams, passion and ambition. Be focused in your own life and vigorously pursue whatever you are doing at the moment. Men are naturally attracted to successful women and if you manage to become one, there is little more you will need to do to make him want you more and more.
So, I met him accidentlly one night on the way to a friend’s place after a party. th is guy’s bike had broke down n he also had bruises on him because had slipped. i asked my friends to stop to help him. my friends helped him n I, God knows why, invited him over to my friend’s place, one of the reasons may be because it was late at night and he stayed close to my friend’s place. He accepted. We hit it off right away. we stayed up all night, all of us and talked. next morning he also stayed back for breakfast. he randomly gave out his #. but i did not save it. instead one of my friend(guy) did. I was leaving the city pretty soon. so, my friends and i were planning for house party at my place. he offered to come, too and suggested he’d cook as a thank you for helping him.

Then, switch things up by missing a phone call or two back-to-back. Your guy will be wondering where you are and what happened to your daily contact. He will start to realize that getting those daily text messages and phone calls are a part of his day that he doesn’t want to live without, and he’ll be dying to be in a committed relationship with you!
He could have realized that things are starting to get more serious with you, and it could have scared him off. He may also be waiting to text you again just to make sure that your relationship with each other stays in the “friends with benefits” realm instead of becoming something else. If you do want to make your relationship more serious though, you should talk to him about what he wants. You have already dated him for two years, and you will end up in the same position in another two years unless you actually figure out where you relationship stands. There is nothing wrong with having a long-term friends with benefits situation, but both partners should know that is the case and want the relationship to be just casual.
This is great advice! However, I may be a little too late in receiving it. I like this guy and we had an amazing connection for a couple months. As soon as I decided he was someone I wanted to be with, we started doing everything together and I began outwardly letting him know I care. Now he seems barely interested at all. Is there recovery from this or is it time to just move on? Thank you
    "'We' is a state of mind and heart. It means that wherever one partner is, the other is present in their thoughts. Partners who consider themselves a 'we' act that way. When you talk to partners who live with and in the heart of their beloved, you experience that commitment in every way they present themselves. They communicate a pride in belonging to their partner. It's a powerful feeling of 'us' over anyone or anything else.
It was the spellcaster! He called me three times using WhatsAppp. Somehow he tracked my phone number! Creepy much? He left voicemails asking me if I was ready to cast a spell to get my ex back. Needless to say, I was so freaked out, I made myself a pot of coffee and stayed up working on Heal Your Heart and Win Him Back so you ladies never ever have to call a spellcaster!
Do you think that you need to get into bed with a man just to keep him in your life?  Typically speaking, nothing could be further from the truth.  Having sex is not the solution to winning your man.  In fact, it can actually cause the exact opposite if he thinks you are loose with your morals. Giving yourself fully to who you believe your man is can remove the challenge and find him rushing off to accomplish another quest. Go with your gut instincts.
There are many strategies to turn bad habits into good habits. It’s not enough to just say you will quit something for good. It requires hard work and persistence when making a life change. Ask yourself how to break a bad habit that is damaging to your lifestyle. Then research the necessary steps to overcome the bad habit. Stick to the plan to be self-disciplined in your behaviors.
You have given the best advice that I have ever read from any article or book out there and trust I have read MANY. I see where I have been going wrong with my relationships and I see that I am putting too much of what I want them to be for me in it. I see where my negative thoughts have failed me and how I can go about changing me to be a better me for a relationship. Your views are so on point and I completely understand exactly where you are coming from. I will continue to read and reread your advice until I get myself where I need to be physically and emotionally. I definitely dont live in the moment with the man I have been with and I have gotten the I dont want a relationship thing from him but I definitely see where I went wrong because this man was interested in me from the beginning and he is still here. So I see where I went wrong. I see where I need to change just from reading your articles. I am seeing clearly. Now just to adjust my behavior and actions. I believe I will see a change in him. You cant expect people to change if you dont change yourself first… Thanks for all the great advice :)

Make a major independent financial decision. Talk about buying a car, a plot of land, a house, or maybe a Cessna. The reason: You're making him aware that you don't need him to move your life forward. And if he asks you why you didn't consult him first about the decision, jokingly say, "It's not like we're married!" He'll have to respond with a request for clarification of exactly what he is to you, if he's going to have any say in your financial matters. That sounds like the start of The Talk.
As much flack as classic romantic comedies receive for being unrealistic, some of their messages ring loud and true when explaining why men pull away. More often than not, experts explain most men withdraw for one of three reasons: they’re lost interest because he doesn’t see a future for your twosome, he’s afraid of becoming too vulnerable with you, or he feels rushed to commit to a more serious union.
Some times I want to take this manly-man, guys-guy & shake him & say what the hell is wrong with you?!! (Many people want to do that for me right now.) but instead, I rush to tell him I love him & smother him with kind words & gushy love stuff. And he pulls away even further. Now, I am reminded of how in the beginning I gave this man his space & his time whenever I sensed he needed it, I had no control over it or him anyway, why fight it & push him farther away? I remember a day when he grabbed, pulled me close, kissed me, & thanked me for understanding & giving him his time. I would give anything for that moment to happen again, because it was real, & genuine. He was really happy at that moment & wanted me to know it.

Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests. On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner. Women think men don’t want women to need them. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and possibly make him run away.
Everyone recognizes when someone has an agenda, it’s just something our intuition picks up on and it immediately puts us off. Think about how you feel when someone approaches you and tries to sell something. Your first instinct is typically to get far away from them. It doesn’t matter how nice and friendly they are, you can’t trust them because you know they want something out of you.
If you cannot control your feelings, then I would suggest for you not to maintain a relationship with this person. Furthermore, I always think it’s vital to any starting point in dating or a relationship to be clear about each other’s expectations. If you are looking for a relationship, then let the other person know early on! If not, then say so. There have been too many times that I’ve seen a woman dating a man for months on end, only to end up getting hurt because it became a purely physical “modern relationship” in which the man never truly committed. The two never set the expectations for a relationship, or the woman sat in silence out of fear of being pushed away, hoping he would come around.

So you’ve mastered the ways to stop a man from withdrawing, and everything seemed to be headed in a rosier direction, it’s time to implement some positive communication skills. Once you’ve calmed down from analyzing and you’ve created some much-needed space, it’s time to figure out how to express how you’re feeling without causing more ripples in your relationship.
well, i agreed (how could i not, he’s cute ;) ). i wasn’t sure if he’d show up. but he did. he did cook n it was awesome. during the party he asked me not to leave the city. when i told him i had no reason to stay back. he said there may be now. so we saw each other everyday after that. went out . he really took care of me, shared about his family. we really like each other. he even said lotta times he really liked me and that he was sad i was leaving. asked me to stay, coupla times. but i really needed to leave. he even came to see me off. things changed totally after i left. he did not call. when i did, he spoke normally and said he had been caught up. later after a week or two, he did nt show any interest to call. so i stopped calling too. once i called him n asked what was goin on. to my surprise he said we enjoyed together. but he cant do long distance. I’m flabbergasted how can anyone just shut off things just like that. was he pretending all the while?
I hope you can help me with this. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months now. Things started out great but the last couple of weeks I’ve been kind of moody and on edge due to stressing over finding a job. This weekend I tried to get him to stay with me but he said he would have to work, but wasn’t sure about Saturday due to a possible lack of a ride. So I asked him if I could pick him up Saturday or if he wanted to wait to see me till Sunday. He told me he would just see me Sunday that he didn’t know if he had stuff to do Saturday. Is it possible that I’ve been pushing him away and he’s wanting space or looking to break up with me, or am I just over thinking this whole thing?
Natalie, I have just seen your text, I am not sure how it went since December but the best to do in this case (always), I know that it`s really hard, because you can`t focus on something else but him. You have to disappear, so he will release you are not taken for granted to him. Men can say anything but they get crazy about when the women is doing the same thing or even worst :). He has too feel that he missing you, and beside that focus on your own life and on yourself, the happiness should come from yourself and not from him or any other person. Just step back and see what happens, he will be eager to be the same as before believe me ;) and success!
I was with my bf for 4 months. A long distance relationship. He told me Xmas weekend that he had fallen in love with me. We have a huge communication barrier though. So recently it was getting to me and I went home upset.he knew that I was upset he said he’s sorry he is not capable of making me happy and he still is in love with me and is bummed but he doesn’t think we may be a match. I believe he is genuinely upset. Maybe the distance was taking its toll. I didn’t want it to end but now it has and I spoke to him on phone and wanted him to change his mind. I still have some things at his house. It now has been 2 days since I spoke with him. I intend to not contact him..in hopes that he will miss me. I mean, if you are in love as he claimed 3 weeks ago I would think not talking to me for more then 3 days will get to him. I also told him I would come get my things tomorrow but I have now chosen to skip that and make him wonder what I’m doing. I will go get my things in a week or 2. I’m sad cuz I love him too. Any suggestions/opinions would be appreciated!!
If you think your man is pulling away from you, it's imperative that you take a moment to reflect on your own actions and behavior. After being completely honest with yourself, you can see if you're the one who's actually growing distant and shutting him out, and he's simply reacting to your behavior. If he's feeling unappreciated, unimportant to you, or taken for granted, he may pull away from you because he's not getting what he needs from you as a partner.

Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been with your partner for a while, you must consider this key relationship advice for women if you want to succeed. Since relationships can be challenging and can have their fair share of ups and downs, being prepared for whatever a relationship can bring is imperative. For women especially, it’s important to take heed of these five essential pieces of advice in order to have the kind of long-lasting, happy, and healthy relationship that you so desire and deserve.
I can vouch that your advice really works! I met a wonderful man after I started treating myself as valuable enough and realised what I want in a relationship. I bought both of your programs and studied them carefully and it made me see things differently. Not long after that, I met my Mr Right! Keep up the good work Matt and ladies, you CAN listen to him!
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All anyone really wants is to feel OK, and most of us don’t. When a woman worries and needs constant reassurance, it comes from feeling from “I am not OK” and the feeling beneath that is fear. What makes it so destructive is that it’s not an overwhelming, gripping fear; it’s a vague feeling of unease. It’s so quiet and subtle you may not even realize it’s there. You know how sometimes you’ll go to take a sip of water and you literally can’t stop chugging? You didn’t even realize you were thirsty, it’s only when you begin to quench the silent thirst that you realize how potent it was. That’s kind of what’s at play here.
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